我们所知道的生活（2010）

Cats have kittens
猫猫生小猫
Doggies have pups
狗狗生小狗
Horses have pretty foals
马儿养育漂亮的小马驹
And sheep have lambs
绵羊生羊羔
Cows have calves and I bet you didn’t know
牛生小牛 你一定不知道
That elephants have calves too
大象也有象宝宝
Lions and leopards have cubs
狮子和豹子有幼兽
Which is the proper thing for them to do
生生不息
She’s gonna blow if you keep doing that. She’s in a puking phase.
你再这么玩她就该吐了 她正处在呕吐期
No, she loves it.
不会的 她可喜欢了
She loves it, don’t you, Soph?
她可喜欢了 对吧 苏菲
You’re the only girl I’ll ever shave for. You know that?
你是唯一能让我刮胡子的姑娘 知道不
Speaking of, why didn’t Liz come?
说到姑娘 丽兹怎么没来
I thought you were getting serious.
我以为你们是来真的
No, we ended that a few weeks ago. It wasn’t working out.
没 我们几个礼拜前分手了 搞不下去
What happened? I don’t know.
怎么回事 不知道
I just didn’t see us on that long march towards death together.
就觉得我们大概不是能白头到老那种
Oh, my bad. I thought you liked this girl.
是我的错 我以为你很喜欢她
That was you. I just thought she was hot.
是你这么想 我只是觉得她很辣
Honey, don’t forget to tip the castle guys.
亲爱的 别忘了给安装工人小费
They show up late and made me do the work.
他们来晚了 那城♥堡♥是我安上的
But, sure, let’s tip the castle guys.
不过 当然 我还是要付小费
So I started taking Sophie to this new family practice.
所以我带苏菲去这个新的社区诊所
There’s this doctor there. He’s so cute.
那儿有个医生 很帅呢
I may have finally replaced my Anderson Cooper crush.
都赶上我的偶像安德森·库珀了
Anyway, l noticed no ring… Scoot.
总之 我发现他没有结婚戒指 让开
…so I started a conversation with his nurse.
我就开始跟他的护士闲聊
No. I pretended to like her nails.
不要 我装作很喜欢她的美甲
No. We agreed to a moratorium on setups.
不 我们说过不搞这种相亲
How do you know you won’t like him?
你怎么知道你不会喜欢他
You have the worst setup track record ever.
因为你这红娘的眼光是史上最糟的
Like who? The shoplifter. Adultbraces guy.
比如说 商场小偷 牙套男
Unbelievable. You’re still holding that over me.
难以置信 你还记着这些
I’m not even gonna get into the Messer Debacle of ’07.
我还没说你07年那次梅瑟惨败战
Well, that was Peter. I hardly even knew him then.
那是皮特的主意 我当时都不怎么认识他
You knew he called himself Messer. And you’re my best friend.
你起码知道他自称捣蛋鬼 还有你是我最好的朋友
You can’t be like those
你可不能做那种
women who judge me because l don’t wear a ring.
看我没结婚就乱点鸳鸯的女人
I’m not.
我不是
In the meantime, you keep having gorgeous babies…
所以 你只管生漂亮宝宝
…and I will keep spoiling them with this.
我拿这些东西来宠坏他们
Seriously, that’s better than my wedding cake.
说真的 这比我婚礼蛋糕还好
I made your wedding cake. It was a little dry.
婚礼蛋糕也是我做的 那个有点太干
Don’t let any fat grown-ups in while the kids are inside.
小孩在里面玩的时候 不要让大人进来
Have you guys been smoking marijuana?
你们在吸大♥麻♥吗
That’s illegal. You’re stoned.
这是非法的 你明显嗨了
What are you holding? Let me see it.
你藏什么 给我看看
Come on, you want me to call the cops?
快点 你想我叫警♥察♥来吗
Please don’t. My dad’s a pastor.
拜托不要 我爸是个牧师
All right, I’m taking this. Next time, you guys are gonna be trouble.
我没收了 下次再这样 你们就麻烦大了
Now go on, get out of here. That’s
现在你们滚吧 那可是
Go on, get out of here. Get out of here!
快点离开这儿 离开这儿
I bought that stuff. Totally unacceptable.
那可是我花钱买♥♥的 就不该买♥♥
Delivery kids show up stoned out of their minds.
晕晕乎乎地送上门来
Who needs a dealer? Aren’t you respectable now?
还用得着卖♥♥大♥麻♥的吗 你现在不是有身份的人了吗
Relax. Once a year, under the right circumstances…
放轻松 一年一度 在适当时候…
…Alison and I like to relive our youth.
…艾丽森和我也想回味下青春岁月
Once a year? Yeah
一年一度吗 对
Yeah, right. Once a year. All right, maybe twice a year.
是呀 一年一度 好吧 也许一年两度
Wanna go? Come on, come on.
想玩吗 来 来
Messer, do not bounce her too much.
梅瑟 别使劲颠她
She’s fine. She loves it, look at her.
没事 她喜欢呢 看看
Mess, l’m warning you. Come on, she’s fine.
梅瑟 我是提醒你 拜托 没关系
Oh, my God. She–
天哪 她…
Oh, my God.
我的天
Don’t worry, Sophie,
别担心 苏菲
you’re not the first girl to throw up on Uncle Messer.
你又不是第一个看到梅瑟叔叔就吐的姑娘
Hey, Sophie, look. Look, that’s what bitter looks like.
苏菲 看 看 那就叫尖酸刻薄
Messer, go up to Peter’s closet
梅瑟 去皮特的衣橱
and grab something before everyone gets here.
拿件衣服换了 一会儿该有人来了
Why, what time is it? It’s 11 .
为什么 几点了 十一点
Though it’s only 10 in Messer time.
不过对于梅瑟来说才十点
You know, I’m surprised you’re even up.
你居然已经起床了
You keep your watch on during sex, don’t you?
你做♥爱♥的时候也掐着表 对吧
At least I don’t wear my baseball cap everywhere.
至少我没有到哪儿都带着棒球帽
You can take it off now, Messer. We all know about the receding hairline.
摘下来没事 我们都知道你秃顶
It’s a widow’s peak. I don’t have a receding hairline.
这叫美人尖 什么秃顶
Hey, baby’s birthday. Neutral corners. Take a glass.
今天宝宝生日 停战一天 来喝一杯
First birthday, you can take your hat off for pictures.
第一次庆生 你可以脱帽拍照吧
There it is. Before everyone gets here…
没错 大家来之前
…we wanted to toast Sophie’s two favorite people.
我们为苏菲最爱的两个人干一杯
And our best friends.
你们也是我们最好的朋友
We made it through her first
我们能熬过她的第一年
year with most of our sanity thanks to you guys.
你们功不可没
We love you guys. Are you crying?
我们爱你们 你在哭吗
Mother’s cry.
母亲的眼泪
Thank god, the babysitter’s here. Why do you need a babysitter? We’re both here
太好了 保姆来了 你为什么要找保姆 我俩都在
Because she’s a genius.
因为她是个天才
When Sophie goes nuclear, she the only one who can calm her down.
万一苏菲要闹了 只有她能让她安静下来
We call her the baby whisperer. Oh, the baby whisperer, huh?
我们管这叫宝宝密语 宝宝密语啊
Hey, is she hot? Totally hot.
她正不正 超正的
What’s wrong with you? Hey, everybody, this is Amy.
你什么毛病啊 大伙 这是艾米
Hello, Amy. Look who’s here.
你好 艾米 看看这是谁
Sophie.
苏菲
Let’s go get you changed, hm?
我们去换衣服 好吗
Thank you.
谢谢
Are you serious? That’s the baby whisperer?
你说真的吗 她会宝宝密语
Really, if she was old
当然 要是她再大一点
enough to have sex with Peter, I’d be obsolete.
能跟皮特上♥床♥ 我就被休了
You’ll never be obsolete, babe. Come here.
你不会被休的 宝贝
Oh, my God. Could you step away? You reek of baby puke.
天哪 你能站远点吗 一股呕吐味
Oh, really?
是吗
You do. Get away from me. Excuse me.
就是 离我远点 抱歉了
You’ve all met before.
你们以前见过
You met before. Remember Sophie?
你见过 记得苏菲吗
I can’t believe you guys have four now.
真不敢相信你们都四个孩子了
Did she have any tearing? Oh, yeah, stem to stern.
她有伤口吗 当然 从头到脚
They had to crack that woman open like a lobster.
他们像切龙虾一样剖开她
Excuse me. Excuse me, miss, are you the caterer?
等等 等等 小姐 你是筹备人吗
Yes, and Alison’s friend.
对 我是艾丽森的朋友
Okay, because you need to come and sit here.
好 你过来坐这儿
Okay? You need to come over here right now and sit down.
行吗 你得马上过来 坐下
Someone is in trouble…
你有大♥麻♥烦了
…because you make food to die for.
因为你做的菜好吃死了
Thank you.
谢谢
I was a real jock back in college. Yeah?
我大学的时候可是个真正的运动员 是吗
A sprinter.
短跑选手
Really? Yeah, ran a 4.2 40.
真的吗 对 40米跑4.2秒
Wow, that’s fast. Yeah, it’s fast.
真快呀 没错 很快
How else do you think l snagged Miss Pennsylvania here?
这我才追到她 不然她应该能当宾夕法尼亚小姐了
Who’s talking about me? Okay. Oh, here she is.
谁在说我呢 她来了
Okay, that’s good for now. So who is this? Hi, I’m Beth.
先别玩 这位是谁 你好 我是贝丝
Messer. Nice to meet you.
梅瑟 很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you. We have not met before.
很高兴认识你 我们之前没见过
I would remember this face of his.
不然我该记得这张俊脸
If you’ve got a loving partner,
要是你有位爱侣
you can get through anything. Hey, Scott!
你能度过一切难关 斯考特
Yeah, I’m Scott!
来 我…斯考特
Hold that. Hold on. Hey, Scott.
拿着 等等 斯考特
I was trying to get the boys fed. Okay.
我正要喂孩子 好