甘草披萨（2021）

What did you do?
你杀人了吗
Did you murder someone, huh?
你是药贩子吗
What, do you have drugs on you?
你到底做了什么 Gary
What did you do, Gary?
你还有烟管吗
Do you still have the pipe?
没有了
No, no…
我扔掉了
No, I threw it out. I threw it out.
你这个名字 湿底 听起来让人 有拉了裤子的感觉
Hey, “Soggy Bottom” sounds like someone shit their pants.
就说是嘛
I know, I know.
这名字不行啊 – 我知道
That’s not good. – I know.
也只有你们会觉得好笑吧
That’s only funny to you guys.
人们买♥♥床垫 肯定不想听到这个名字
But when someone wants to buy a bed,
感觉穿着里面全是屎的纸尿裤
they don’t wanna think about shitting or shitty diapers,
或者拉了裤子
or shit in pants.
Alana 床也不只是用来睡觉的
Well, the bed’s not just for sleeping, Alana.
对 不只是用来睡觉的 还是用来进行性行为的
Well, if it’s not just for sleeping, I think you mean it’s for sex.
湿底听起来让人一点性趣都没有
“Soggy Bottom” isn’t making anyone hot or horny.
你不觉得吗
It doesn’t make you hot?
不觉得
No.
这些天大家都在谈论水床
“Everybody’s talking about waterbeds these days, right?
当然 它值得讨论
And, uh, it’s with good reason,
因为自从发明内置弹簧垫以来
because the waterbed is the greatest thing
水床是人类睡眠历史上最伟大的发明
to happen to sleep since the invention of the inner spring.”
行啊
Okay.
如果您想现在就拥有一张水床
“If you’ve been thinking about getting a waterbed now,
我们会为您送货上门
you can have one delivered to your very door.
现在就拿起电♥话♥ 接通全世界最大的水床制♥造♥商
All you gotta do is call the world’s largest manufacturer of waterbeds,
太平洋水床
Pacific Waterbeds.
他们为胖伯尼提供大号♥水床
They present Fat Bernie’s king-size waterbeds.”
我喜欢这名字
I love the name. Yeah.
原价一百的六乘七英寸大床 现在只要39块95
“Six foot by seven foot waterbed, you got a $100 value for only $39.95.
只要39块95 胖伯尼大水床送到您家
Thirty-nine dollars and 95 cents for your very own
赶快拿起手边的电♥话♥
king-size Fat Bernie waterbed if you act now.
拨♥打♥4513631
Call 451-3631 and have a Fat Bernie Waterbed
我们送货到您家门口 免费安装
delivered COD right to your very door.
如不满意 十日内无理由退货
With a 10-day money-back guarantee if you’re not satisfied.
你的爱人会感谢你的
Your loved one will love you for it.”
不管你的爱人是男是女 有两个还是三个
Well, whomever he or she may be, or maybe you have two or three,
还是你只想跟心爱的人告白
or, uh, maybe you wanna tell somebody that you love them,
又无法说出口
you’re not exactly sure how you’re gonna do it,
那就选择一张胖伯尼的水床吧
you can tell them with a king-size Fat Bernie waterbed.
你甚至会感谢自己
Now, you’ll even love yourself for it.
或许你想做的只是躺在
Maybe all you wanna do is just
胖伯尼的大水床里获得快乐
ensconce yourself in your own king-size waterbed
没有世俗的打扰
with nobody around to bother you.
这也太自恋了 是吧
That is some real narcissism, okay?
这里是KPPC帕萨迪纳电台 接下来为您播放Doors的歌♥曲
It’s KPPC Pasadena, we’ve got The Doors coming up next.
你说得对 你说得对
You’re right. You’re always right.
胖伯尼水床店 请问您需要什么帮助
Fat Bernie’s, how may I help you?
好的 – 糟糕
Oh, great. – Shit. Shit.
太平洋水床是为我们胖伯尼供货的
Pacific Waterbeds presents Fat Bernie’s Waterbeds.
请问您需要什么帮助
How may I help you?
你好 Gene – 你好
Hiya, Gene. – Hi.
今天送什么货 – 你好 Gene
What do you got today? – Hi, Gene.
你好 – 就这些箱子
Hello. – Just some boxes.
好的
Okay.
混♥蛋♥
Assholes!
你们自己搬
Take it.
20 25 30
Twenty, 25, 30. Just 30.
我这边有400
I got 400. 400.
150 – 我有400
150. – I have 400,
你那边呢
and then you have…
等一下 这还有很多五块
Wait a sec. What were the five?
这边50
Fifty here.
5 10 15 20 25 30 好了
Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. All right.
30 – 这边有21
30. – There’s 21.
这边21
Twenty-one’s there.
零钱一共有多少
And then how much was the change?
等等 这边大概有19
Wait, I think there might have been 19 there.
这点钱不够啊
Not that good of a start.
我们有21
No, we have 21.
没有啊 只有19
No, we only had 19.
胖伯尼
“Fat Bernie’s…”
下面画小一点
It’s small on the bottom.
胖伯尼写得太多了吧
Too many “Fat Bernie’s.”
没事 写得小一点 可以的
Yeah, but it can be small. That’s fine.
然后呢
And then…
这样吧
Let’s try…
用电离雾化器辐射样本
To radiate the specimen with your ionization nebulizer.
现在，回到船上
Now, back to the ship.
你是左撇子吗
Are you left-handed?
是啊 你不知道吗
Yeah. You didn’t know that?
不知道啊
No.
我以前从不认识用左手写字的人诶
I’ve never met anyone left-handed before.
真的吗
Really?
Gary
Gary!
你来了 – Jerry
There he is. – Jerry.
很高兴见到你 你好吗
Good to see you. How you doing?
你好 朋友
Good to see you, my friend. – Good to see you.
你好 – 你好 美绪子
All right. – Hi, Mioko.
不是 这个不是美绪子了 美绪子不在了
No, no, no. Mioko is gone.
这是我新一任妻子 贵美子
This is my new wife, Kimiko.
你好 贵美子 – 她多漂亮
Hi, Kimiko. – Pretty as a picture.
这位美丽的女士是谁
Who’s this pretty thing?
这是我的一位女性朋友 Alana
Uh, this is my lady friend, Alana.
你好 Alana – 我是他的商业伙伴
How do you do, Alana? – Business partner.
幸会
A pleasure.
幸会
Nice to meet you.
Jerry 我来是想跟你谈谈
Jerry, I want to talk to you about this,
等一下
by the way. – Hold up, hold up.
咱们正式一点 坐下来谈
Let’s do it right. Let’s sit down
喝点什么 可以吗
and have something to drink first, okay?
好的 – 你们先请
Sounds great. – After you.
谢谢 Jerry
Thank you, Jerry.
Gary 我爱你 我愿意为你做任何事
Oh, Gary, I love you, and I wanna do anything for you.
但这个广♥告♥跟我的餐馆风格不搭啊
But I just don’t really think these fit in my restaurant.
我们是日本餐馆
We’re Japanese,
这个水床生意太美式了
and this waterbed business is strictly American.
呃 贵美子
Uh, Kimiko,
你觉得这个水床的广♥告♥怎么样啊
what you think of this waterbed?
嗯
Mmm-hmm.
她说的啥
What did she just say?
很难说 毕竟我也不懂日语
It’s hard to tell, I don’t speak Japanese.
Gary 我是很想帮你
Gary, I wanna help,
除了把这个广♥告♥在我的餐馆到处贴之外 让我怎么帮你都可以
but can I help without putting these out inside everywhere?
嗨 Alana
Oh, hey, Alana.
嗨 Frisbee
Hey, Frisbee.
你在这里工作吗
You work here?
很不幸 是的 你来干什么
Unfortunately. What are you doing?
帮我朋友谈水床生意
Helping my friend with his waterbed business.
你说Gary – 是啊 你认识他吗
Gary? – Yeah. You know him?
认识 我爱那孩子
Yeah, I love that kid.
你爱他吗 – 当然
You love him? – Uh-huh.
你怎么认识他的
How do you know him?
他是Jerry的朋友 是这里的常客了
He’s in here all the time. He’s a friend of Jerry’s.
哦
Yeah.
他是个可爱的小混♥蛋♥
He’s cute for a little hustler.
他很聪明 很懂做生意的事情
He’s also really smart and a good businessman.
是
Mmm-hmm.
你还在小脚趾照相馆工作吗
Hey, you still work at Tiny Toes?
不在了 我现在是Gary的合作伙伴