文科恋曲（2012）

I mean, that’s something.
是啊
Yeah.
我明白你的意思
I get that.
我只是不能接受现状
I just can’t get around the fact
我在这里极度郁闷
that I’m, like, aggressively unhappy here.
杰西
Jesse.
杰西
Jesse!
这是我的电♥话♥ 有需要时打给我
That’s my number, if you ever want to talk.
这书肯定是瓦内萨的吧
Please tell me this is Vanessa’s.
不 是我的
Nope, that’s mine.
你真的会读这种书吗
Wait, you actually read this?
是啊
Yeah.
全都读过
All of it?
是的
Yup.
你不是说反话吧
Unironically?
诚心诚意
Very sincerely.
你们女生怎么都痴迷吸血鬼呢
What is it with you girls and vampires?
这书讲什么的
What’s it about?
吸血鬼
Vampires.
不 我问的是内容
No, what’s it about?
吸血鬼
Vampires.
我不太理解 这书写得好吗
I don’t understand. Is it good?
不好
No.
写得还可以 但没那么好
I mean, yeah. But no.
那你为什么还读
Then why read it?
因为我喜欢
‘Cause I like it.
这不能当做读书的理由
That’s no reason to read something.
你为什么不看点别的书
Why else would you read something?
我是认真的
Seriously.
世界上那么多优秀的书籍
Many amazing books in the world.
你为什么非要读这些
Why would you read this?
好了 我不想和你吵架
Okay, I hate this conversation.
咱们别争论了行吗
Can we stop?
等等 这是三部曲对吧
Wait, this is a trilogy, right?
我不想作答
I’m afraid to answer that.
这三本你都看了吗
You’ve read three of these?
你读过这种书吗
Have you ever read one of them?
你觉得呢
What do you think?
你都没读过 何来讨厌之说
How can you hate something if you’ve never read it?
你不能搞独♥裁♥专♥制♥
I mean, isn’t that like what repressive regimes do?
难道你要把不喜欢的书都烧掉吗
You want to burn books you don’t like?
你说的对 知道我要怎么做吗
You’re right. You know what I’m gonna do?
我要把这些书都读完
I’m gonna read the book, all of it,
然后再来跟你讨论
and then we can discuss it.
-现在吗 -是啊
– Right now? – Yeah, why not?
读这点东西还能要多久
I mean, how long can it take, really?
好极了 也算个小型书友会
This is great, a little book club.
你是认真的吗
Seriously?
是的
Yup.
回头见
See ya soon.
不 不是您想的那样
No, this isn’t what it…
读这种书 是个挑战
I’m reading it as a dare.
其实是为了和人打赌
It’s a bet, actually.
我喜欢上你的课
I loved your class!
我先说吗
Should I start?
请讲
Please.
好吧
Ok.
我喜欢这故事
I liked it.
很有意思 有点傻气
It was fun and stupid.
易于消磨时间
And it passed the time.
并非托尔斯泰似的名作 但也不像泡沫剧
And it’s not Tolstoy, but it’s also not television.
让我读得很开心
And it made me happy.
到你了
Now you.
谢谢
Thank you.
这是
This…
英文小说中
is the worst book
写得
ever written
最差的一本
in English.
这么说其他语种的小说还有比这更差的
So there are worse books written in other languages?
不太可能
Probably not.
除非这本书被翻译成其他语言
Unless this book is translated into other languages.
好了 我们实在是
Okay, we really
我们没必要这样做
we don’t need to do this.
不 请你认真点
No, please, let’s.
我想知道这些所谓的句子
I need to know how you read these…
你是怎么读进去的
I guess you call them sentences…
掩卷深思 除了为文字被亵渎
close the book, and feel anything
而感到气愤悲伤外 别无他感
other than offended and sad?
几百万人都喜欢看
Millions of people like it.
几百万人都喜欢的东西
So when millions of people like something,
就说明一定是精品吗
that means it’s good?
不 只是说明几百万人都喜欢
No, it means millions of people like it.
这种书让人们感到快乐
These books make people happy.
读书不必总考虑政♥治♥学 或者是否
We don’t always have to be thinking about poli-sci
是乔叟的作品 而且我讨厌乔叟
or reading Chaucer, which, by the way, I hated.
你不该喜欢这种书
You’re not supposed to like it.
那你为什么还要读
But then why read it?
你不是特别喜欢大学氛围吗
You love college so much, right?
应该懂得兼容并包 不是吗
Isn’t it all about understanding different points of view?
也要学会提升品位
It’s also about developing taste.
你太势力了 你个势利小人
That was snobby. You’re a snob.
不 我不是
No, I’m not.
你就是
Yeah, you are.
你觉得批判事物让自己显得很酷
You think it’s cool to hate things.
但并非如此 你很无聊
And it’s not. It’s boring.
谈论你喜欢的事物
Talk about what you love,
别对你讨厌的事物指手画脚
and keep quiet about what you don’t.
我知道你听了不舒服 但相信我
Look, I know how this sounds, but trust me.
这件事很重要
This is a big deal, okay?
现在世风日下
This country is in bad shape,
我觉得很大程度上是由
and it has to do, in large part, I think,
人们的低级趣味导致的
with people liking things that are very, very bad.
但就算像你说的那样
But according to you,
是好是坏为什么由你说了算
why are you the one who gets to decide what’s good and bad?
或者你不过是想把你周围的人
And do you only want to surround yourself
都改造得同你品味一致
with people who’ve read the same books as you?
我觉得要用具体例子来说明
I guess we’re gonna have to move on to a specific example…
你心在何处
Where are you?
什么意思
What do you mean?
你的心在别处
I mean, you are somewhere,
但不在此
but it’s not here.
不 我的心就在这里
No, I’m… I’m here.
那我们为什么还要为一本书争论
So why are we spending all our time
平白浪费大好时光
having a stupid argument about a book?
彼得
Peter.
姿碧
Zibby.
彼得
Peter.
彼得
Peter.
你来这里干什么
What the hell are you doing here?
我也不知道
I don’t know.
你知道我多大了吗
You know how old I am?
不知道 你多大了
No, how old are you?
不关你的事
None of your goddamn business.
你知道我觉得自己多大吗
Do you know how old I feel like I am?
19岁
19.
从我19岁起 我心里就没再长过岁数
Since I was 19, I have never felt not 19.
但我刮完脸后 看向镜中
But I shave my face, and I look in the mirror,
我不得不承认
and I’m forced to say,
镜中人绝对不是19岁
“This is not a 19-year-old staring back at me,”
在这里教了这么多年书
Teaching here all these years,
虽然我置身19岁的年轻人中间