文科恋曲（2012）

which is, as we know, logistically impossible.
好吧
Ok.
好吧 我们还来得及吗
All right, do we have enough time for that?
-你好 -你好
– Hey. – Hey.
我是不是来的太晚了
Am I super late?
没有 要喝咖啡吗
Uh, no. You want a coffee?
不用了 喝你的就行
No, I’ll just drink yours.
你还好吗
You Okay?
我也不知道
I don’t know yet.
我身上一股啤酒味儿 你闻到了吗
I smell like beer. Do you smell that?
是有股味儿
Yeah, actually, you do.
我 失陪一下
I, I need to excuse myself just,
等一下
just for a…
刚才的事不好意思
Sorry about that. Back there.
你走以后 我一直在想
You walked away, and I was just wondering
有人跟我喜欢一样的作家
why I was being rude to someone
我♥干♥嘛还跟人家发火
who loves the same writer I do.
我也说不出所以然
And I don’t have an answer for that.
没事
Ok.
好吧
Okay, so yeah, um,
我…
I’ll just…
我大四时成绩一落千丈
My grades tanked senior year.
那本书陪我走过那一年
That book was the only thing I wanted to read.
你喜欢那本书吗
You liking it?
当然
Uh, yeah.
实际上这是我第二次读这本书了
It’s my second time reading it, actually.
令人钦佩
That’s impressive.
那书挺厚的
It’s not short.
对啊
Yeah, I know.
他说科幻小说旨在
You know, he said the purpose of fiction
与孤独抗争
was to combat loneliness.
很好
That’s good.
没听说过
I never heard that.
是啊
Yeah.
另外
Well, on the other hand,
花长时间泡在这样大部头的书里
spending most of your time with an 1,100-page book
会使你社交活动受到影响
tends to put a dent in your social life.
是啊
Yeah.
孤独感此消彼长
Loneliness simultaneously increased and decreased.
你好
Hi.
你俩认识吗
What, you guys know each other?
我俩第一学期一块上数理逻辑课
Yeah, we had Symbolic Logic first semester.
我叫姿碧
Zibby.
我叫迪恩 你好
Right. Dean, hi.
-你好 -我叫杰西
– Hey. – I’m Jesse, by the way.
再见
Ok.
有趣的家伙
Interesting guy.
是啊
Yeah.
他又回来了 真不可置信
I can’t believe he’s even back here.
为什么这样说
Why? What do you mean?
去年他狂躁症发作
He had a manic episode last year.
学校把他送医院了
Eventually, they took him to a hospital,
不知道怎么让他镇静下来的
and, I don’t know, calmed him down, I guess.
他也许是这里有史以来最有才华的人
He’s supposed to be, like, the smartest guy ever.
你怎么了
Everything okay?
很好啊
Yeah, everything’s great.
我刚吐了
I puked.
有点恶心
That’s gross.
抱歉 不该跟你说这
Sorry, you did not need to hear that.
去散步吧
Come on, let’s… let’s walk.
我爸妈很喜欢你
My parents really liked you.
很好啊
Oh. Nice.
我也喜欢他们
I like them.
你真幸运能有这样的父母
You’re really lucky to have parents like that.
哪样的父母
Like what?
我也说不清
Like, I don’t know.
首先
Around, first of all.
他们那么和睦是因为你是他们的心肝宝贝
Still together so they can fret over you as a team.
我觉得也是
Yeah, I guess.
他们要是不摆出父母的架子就好了
I like them best when they’re not being so parental,
不过那只有1%的概率
which is, like, 1% of the time.
于是我想了个好办法
Oh, I thought of this great trick
能减少他们给我的痛苦
for having them annoy me less.
-想知道吗 -想
– Want to hear it? – Okay.
我把他们想象成
Okay, I decided to treat my parents
老是喝醉的醉汉
like they’re always drunk.
很管用的
No, really, it works.
他们一训我
Any time they say something irritating or offensive,
我就对自己说 不能生气
I’m just like, “Oh, I can’t get mad at them.
他们喝醉了 不是他们的错
They’re drunk. It’s not their fault.”
难道我要把醉汉的话当真吗
And why should I take advice from drunk people seriously?
不错
That’s great.
你喜欢古典音乐吗
Do you like classical music?
喜欢
Yeah, sure.
去年我上了音乐鉴赏课
Okay, I took this music survey class last year.
天哪
Oh, my God!
它完全改变了我的人生
It totally changed my life.
昨晚偶遇你 真好
I’m really happy I ran into you last night.
我也这样觉得
Yeah, yeah, me too.
好巧
It’s random.
那个家伙是谁
Who was that guy?
哪个
What guy?
昨晚那个
The last night, that guy.
他叫艾瑞克
Oh, his name is Eric.
艾瑞克
Eric.
他是你男朋友吗
Is Eric your fella?
不是
No.
不是
No.
我几乎爱这里的一切
You know, I think I like almost everything about this place,
但是 那些花♥花♥公♥子♥的作风
but the dude situation.
不好吗
Not great?
男女关系
No one, like, dates.
随随便便
So casual about it all.
和我在的时候一样啊
Same as when I was here.
是啊
Yeah.
我骨子里还是有些保守的
I guess there’s part of me that’s a little old fashioned.
那么 我代表所有
Well, on behalf
18到22岁的往届生 在校生
of all current and former 18 to 22 year-olds,
给你道歉
I’d like to apologize.
宽恕我们吧
Forgive us.
诚挚的歉意
Seriously.
我们不知道自己在做什么
We know not what we do.
我觉得
I think one of the things
我最喜欢的是
I loved the most about being here
在这里能感觉到 一切皆有可能
was the feeling that anything was possible.
有无数种将来摆在你面前
It’s just infinite choices ahead of you.
跨出校门 你可以成就一切
You’d get out of school, and anything could happen.
而当你真正跨出来的时候
And then you do get out, and…
现实就会向你袭来 明白吗
life happens, you know?
必须做出抉择
Decisions get made.
当初摆在面前的千万种将来
And then all those many choices you had in front of you
不过是幻影
are no longer really there.
但是你必须前行
At a certain point, you just got to go,
现实大概就是这样的吧
“Oh, I guess this is how it going down.”
让人有些沮丧
And there’s just something a little depressing about that.
你不觉得你太理想化了吗
Well, don’t you think you’re romanticizing youth a bit much?
我想 年轻会有年轻的苦恼
You know, ’cause it’s just as hard and annoying
年老也会有年老的苦恼
to be young and as to be old, I’m assuming.
我不是说你老了 你一点儿都不老
Not that you’re old, ’cause, you know, you’re not.
比如 我认为 人人平等
Look, I get the whole “we’re all equal” agument,
并不是绝对的