So from here on, you’ll be taking home… What’s the turtle’s name again?
杰尼龟 我叫杰尼龟
Squirtle. My name is Squirtle.
好像是杰尼龟
I think it’s Squirtle.
杰尼龟逊毙了
Squirtle sucks.
你说什么？为什么？
I beg your pardon? Why?
不知道 它就是很逊
I don’t know. He just sucks.
不过我喜欢里奥 它很好 -最好了
I like Leo, though. He’s nice. -The best.
对！拜托… -里奥比那只小乌龟好多了
Yeah! Come on… Leo’s better than that turtle.
别吵 够了！ 这只爬行动物有什么特别的？
Oh, stop that noise. Stop it! What is so special about this reptile?
我喜欢它的皮肤
I like his skin.
很像我奶奶的手肘
His skin is like my grandma’s elbows.
我也一样
Uh, same.
我也一样 -我也一样
Same. -Same.
手肘 -我也一样
Elbows. Same.
好吧 既然你们 都这么想再次带那只蜥蜴回家
All right. If you all so desperately want to take home that lizard again,
就得努力争取
you’ll just have to earn it.
我真想被选中！
I wanna get picked!
我们会好好做作业 保证带回来
We’ll do our homework and promise to bring it in.
你们要成为模范班级
You will all make my class a model of excellence,
还要赢得学术马拉松竞赛冠军 否则只能带乌龟回家
and even win that Academicathalon, or it’s the turtle for all of you.
好！非常感谢
Yes! Thank you so much.
这是你的遗愿吗？ 让一群小鬼头嫌弃我？
Was this your dying wish? To turn a bunch of brats against me?
重点不是我们 是孩子们
It’s not about us. It’s about the kids.
他们动力十足
They’re motivated.
会完美拿下这个学年
They’re gonna finish the year strong.
太好了！
Yes!
没错 路易·巴斯德是微生物学之父
Yeah, Louis Pasteur is the father of microbiology.
他发现危险的微生物 可以在开阔水域中滋生
He discovered that dangerous microorganisms could grow in open water.
哇！真了不起
Wow! Well, now, that’s impressive.
五年级C班 仅一步之遥 你们就能去魔法乐园了！
Class 5-C, you’re one step away from going to Magic Land Park!
我们的代课老师太棒了
How great a job has our teacher done?
真不错 麦金老师
Bravo, Ms. Malkin.
我刚请你来时 很多家长很不满
I know a lot of parents weren’t happy when I first brought you in,
你令人无法忍♥受 名声在外
due to your rep as a miserable person.
但如果这个班 在周六的历史展上胜出 我们就…
But if you win the History Fair on Saturday, we’ll–
你就能证明那些质疑你的人♥大♥错特错
You’ll prove all the doubters wrong.
这个嘛 斯潘校长 有时候 管理班级还是老办法最管用
Well, Principal Spahn, in the classroom, sometimes the old ways are the best ways.
真不敢相信
I can’t believe it.
回座位上去 不准击掌
Back to your posts. No five-highing.
这张照片太酷了 -谢谢
Oh, that pic is fire. Thank you.
怎么回事？我等你玩叠叠乐 足足等了30分钟
Hey, what is the deal? I’ve been waiting for your next Jenga move for 30 minutes.
服装是你自己做的 还是你妈妈做的？
Now did you make the costume or did your mom?
说实话 你知道我不会告诉别人
Tell the truth. You know I won’t tell anyone.
我只跟你说话
I only talk to you.
什么？ -还有一部手♥机♥？
What? Is that another phone?
不知道 可能是麦金桌上的
Uh, I don’t know. Uh, must be on Malkin’s desk or something.
喂？ -拜托
Hello? -Come on.
里奥 你去哪儿了？
Leo, where’d you go?
我马上过去
I… I’ll be right there.
里奥？
Leo?
喂？ -哥们 丢过来 我来处理
Hello? -Hey, pal, toss it here. I’ll handle it.
你能听到吗？
Can you hear me?
里奥？
Leo?
嗯 麦金肯定还有一部手♥机♥
Yeah, I think Malkin must have an extra phone.
不管了 小夏怎么说？
Anywho, what did Summer say?
我的天 不能每个人都扮杰奎琳·肯尼迪
Oh my God, you can’t all play Jackie Kennedy.
我们想一举拿下这次历史展
And, like, we so wanna slay this History Fair.
我知道！魔法乐园之旅肯定会很棒
I know. That Magic Land Park trip would be awesome.
嘿 你很棒 因为你尽力了
Hey, you’re awesome because you tried your best.
所以我是你的特别好友？
That’s why I’m your special friend?
对
Yeah.
你也跟丝凯乐说话？
You talk to Skyler too?
我只是…只是因为她…
I… I just… Only because she–
那是小夏的手♥机♥ 就在你们的后面
That’s Summer’s phone in there, right behind yours.
你毁了这一切 现在开心了？ 我不知道怎么回事
You happy now? For ruining this? -I don’t know what happened.
肯定是屁♥股♥按到的
I… I must’ve butt-dialed ya. I mean, butt-shot ya.
你没屁♥股♥
You don’t even have a butt.
你竟敢如此？
How dare you?
你跟我们所有人说话？你说只跟我一个人说话
You talk to all of us? -You said I was the only one.
你说只跟我一个人说话
You said I was the only one.
我还以为自己很特别呢 -你们都很特别 我…
I thought I was special. -You’re all special. I–
抱歉！我只是…
I’m sorry! I just…
看到你们相处融洽 在课堂上表现良好
Seeing you guys getting along and doing great in class,
我感觉自己带来了改变
it felt like I was actually making a difference.
的确如此 要不是有你帮忙 我今年肯定过得惨不忍♥睹
You did. This year would’ve been a nightmare without you helping me.
麦金老师凶巴巴的 跟你聊天我才能上课
Ms. Malkin’s so mean. Talking to you made the class bearable.
对 我还担心如果你们全知道了
I was just worried if you all knew…
其他人会发现
…other people would find out.
你叫我不要告诉别人 我没说出去
You told me not to tell anyone, and I didn’t.
大家都没说 因为我们可以保守秘密 -对
Nobody did. Because we can keep a secret. Yeah.
你告诉所有人我刮一字眉了吗？
What, did you tell everyone I shave my unibrow?
因为我并没有
Because I don’t.
你刮一字眉
Hey, the only one he told about your unibrow,
还有吃鼻屎的事 它只告诉过我
or that you still eat your boogers, was me.
我都没笑 -什么？
And I barely chuckled. -What?
我要走了
I’m leaving.
我尽力了
I tried.
慢着 今天是周五
Wait, it’s Friday.
你们没人带我回家吗？
Aren’t you gonna take me home?
小夏 轮到你了
Summer, it’s your turn.
拜托 我很抱歉
Please, I’m so sorry.
我们现在怎么能信任你？这是个问题
How can we trust you now? That was a question.
好了 大家在这里干什么？
All right, what’s everyone doing here?
你们要走了 很好！放假一天
Oh, you’re leaving. Good. Take the whole day off.
明天有历史展 你们得好好休息 回家去吧
You need to rest up for the history fair tomorrow. Go home.
快走吧 快走
Go. Shoo. Come on, out you go.
咱俩得好好聊聊
You and I have a lot to talk about.
我不明白
I don’t understand.
我知道我骗了孩子们 我对你做什么了吗？
I… I know I lied to the kids. What did I do to you?
不好意思 背着我跟学生说话？ 还给他们提建议？
Excuse me, talking to my students behind my back? Advising them?
好吧 我感觉很糟糕 但我只是想…
Okay. I feel terrible, but I was just trying to–
破坏我的教学方式！
Undermine my methods!
他们的成就让我很有满足感 都是被你给骗的
Cheat me out of feeling any satisfaction from their success.
怎么？你想教的知识 他们都学会了 你还有什么不开心的？
What? They learned everything you wanted. Why wouldn’t that make you happy?
别以为你可以分♥析♥我 我是成年人
Don’t think you can analyze me. I’m an adult.
不是尖叫的小鬼头 读不下去《坎特伯雷故事集》
Not a shrieking brat who thinks reading Canterbury Tales is torture.
那本书读得下去吗？
It’s not torture?
闭嘴！
Quiet!
我家徒四壁 居然叫我开心
Asking me to be happy when I have nothing but these four walls.
你的家人呢？不好意思 你看到我有家人吗？
What about your family? -Excuse me, do you see any family?
除非你跟这位健身教练是亲戚
Oh. Uh, not unless you’re related to the gym coach.
这些照片不关你的事 -了解 当我没见过
Those pictures are none of your business. -Gotcha. Never saw ’em.
我一辈子献身教学 却只能当代课教师
I put my whole life into teaching just to be a mere substitute.
从来不带自己名下的班级 从未获得任何尊重
Never had my own class, never got any respect.
听着 我也有过从未实现过的梦想
Look, I also had dreams that never happened.
比如去看大沼泽 或传播沙门氏菌
Like seeing the Everglades, or spreading Salmonella.
但今年 我遇到了更好的事
But this year, I fell into something even better.
我跟这些孩子真的很合拍
I really clicked with these kids.
多少是因为你是一只会说话的动物？
Uh, maybe it helped, just a little, that you’re a talking animal?
对 但或许也有你的功劳
Yeah, but also, maybe it’s you.
因为我在这所学校 见过孩子们喜欢的代课老师
‘Cause I’ve seen subs come through this school that kids love.
她是一位好老师
A fine teacher.
慢着 你曾经是这里的学生？
Wait, you were a student here?
你不记得我了？我那时候很不一样
You don’t remember me? I was a lot different.
我当时
I was…
哇 对
Oh, wow. Yeah.
你当时很贴心
You were very sweet.
那时候的我很可爱 她…
I was adorable. And she…
是的 确实
Yes, she did.
她让我觉得自己无所不能
She made me feel like I could do anything.
告诉我 你觉得她当时