She took him out of the terrarium after you guys left that day.
她把它带走了 我有话要说
She took him, and I wanted to say something,
但她用吸尘器对付我
but her and her vacuum,
还恶狠狠地瞪我 害我踩到别人的尿滑倒
they gave me the stink eye, and I slipped on, uh, somebody else’s pee,
摔了个四仰八叉 这一切都是我的错
and I flipped on my back, and this whole thing is my fault
因为我嫉妒我的铁哥们 而不是替它开心
’cause I got jealous of my best friend instead of being happy for him.
我用拍照手♥机♥揭穿它 但现在我要揭穿你 记过婆！
I used the camera phone to bust him, but now I gotta bust you, Demeritface!
它骗人！这只乌龟不可信 它背叛了里奥
He’s lying! This turtle can’t be trusted. He turned on Leo.
拜托 你们都知道多亏了里奥 才有机会参加这次愚蠢的户外教学
Come on. You all know Leo’s the reason you got this stupid trip.
它帮你们解决了 各种各样的小鬼头怪烦恼
He helped you with your weird kid problems.
所以你们才能获胜
That’s why you won.
它时日不多 只想做点有意义的事
He wanted to do something meaningful with the rest of his pathetic time,
它成功了
and he did it.
你为什么说“它时日不多”？
Why did you say, “The rest of his time”?
它快死了！ -什么？
He’s dying! What?!
它快75岁了 蜥蜴到75岁就会死
He’s gonna be 75. That’s lights out for lizards.
不！ -它快死了？
Oh, no! He’s dying?
但“记过婆”在乎吗？才不！
But does Demeritface care? No!
她一心只想邀功
All Demeritface wants is all the credit!
又骗人！
Another lie!
那蜥蜴在哪里 悲惨老师？
Then where is he, Ms. Misery?
我的铁哥们在哪里 记过婆？ 它在哪里？
Where’s my best friend, Demeritface? Where is he?
快说 记过婆！ -它在哪里 记过婆！
Out with it, Demeritface! Where is he, Demeritface?
你干了什么好事？ -够了！别说了！
What did you do with him? -Stop it! Stop it! Stop it now!
我带走了它 开车把它送走了
I took him, and I drove him away.
简直疯了！你说真的吗？
That’s crazy! Seriously? -I can’t believe you!
它说得对 我只想邀功
He’s right, I wanted the credit.
我以为这样我就可以…
I thought it would make me…
它临死都会以为我们在生它的气！ -你把它带去哪里了？
He’s gonna die thinking we’re mad at him. -Where did you take him?
大沼泽地
The Everglades.
你把它送到大沼泽地了？ 那一带很可怕！
You sent him to the Glades? That’s a terrible neighborhood!
那些疯狂的动物会把它四分五裂！请帮我们找到它！
Those crazy animals will rip him apart! -Ms. Malkin, please help us find him.
我们一定要再次见到它
We can’t not see him again.
你好
Hey there.
我们得改变路线 去大沼泽地
We need to change course. We’re going to the Everglades.
什么？我们要去魔法乐园！
What? We’re going to Magic Land Park!
家长们认为孩子们会去那里 一定要去那里
That’s what the parents expect, and that’s where we’re goin’.
老天 我们第一次吵架
Oh my, our first fight.
谢谢 我没事
Thank you. I’m fine.
孩子们 我们要去魔法乐园
Children, we’re going to Magic Land Park.
谢谢 但我觉得太浑浊了点 附近有自来水吗？
Thanks, but a little too murky for me. How… How close are we to a drip tube?
说真的 微生物会致命
Seriously, the microorganisms will kill you.
有个小孩告诉我的
A kid told me that.
你们没听说过路易·巴斯德吗？
You guys never heard of Louis Pasteur?
搞什么…
What the…
快来人 帮帮我 -老大 是你吗？
Someone help me out here. Boss, is that you?
什么？
Wha– What?
就是这家伙在派对上放了我们
Hey, that’s the guy! The guy who set us free at that party.
就是这家伙？
That’s the guy?
就是这家伙？
That’s the guy.
听着 不知道老太婆怎么想 我们自己去救它 走吧
I don’t know what Grandma’s thinking. We’ll save him on our own, let’s go.
给这家伙来点藻类！
Get this guy some algae.
再来点虫子！
And some of you.
老大 你会爱上这里的 没有驯兽师发号♥施令
Boss, you’re gonna love it here. No trainers telling you what to do,
没有小屁孩笑你腿短
no bratty kids joking about your compact legs.
但我很想那些孩子
But I miss those kids.
什么？
What?
他们不是小屁孩 你得了解他们
They’re not bratty. You just gotta get to know them.
比如有个小孩 他爸的背体毛超多 就像大猩猩
Like this one kid whose father’s back had a gorilla situation.
这里交给我 你回去找孩子们
I got this. You go back to the kids.
有人看到我朋友了吗？
Hey, anybody see a buddy of mine?
它浑身绿油油的 长着疙瘩 有一条尾巴 是个丑八怪
He’s green with bumps, got a tail, wicked ugly.
好吧 继续找
Okay, moving on.
各位 我们到了！ -太好了！
We’re here, y’all! Yes!
我饿了
And I’m hungry.
我们去玩吧 -嗨 欢迎光临魔法乐园
Let’s do this. -Hi, welcome to Magic Land Park.
我要… -巨龙棉花糖！
Okay. Let me get– -A Cotton Dragon!
来些巫师泡芙？ -我也要！
A Wizard Puffs, please? -Me too!
独角兽糖球！
I’ll take a Unicorn Balls. -Huh?
是硬球糖！拜托？
They’re jawbreakers. Please?
好了 各位 都买♥♥好了吗？
Okay, gang. You getting all of this?
我要一顶喷火龙帽子
Oh, and I need one Fireblower hat.
好了 我们准备好了 对吗 孩子们？
Okie doke. Now we’re ready, am I right, kids?
开什么玩笑？
Are you kidding me? Hey!
走！快跑！ -快跑！
Go! Run fast! Come on. Move it!
快
Come on!
我的天！
Oh my God!
快点 麦金老师 赶快
Come on, Ms. Malkin. Hurry up. Faster!
快点 -快走 别管我！
Just go. Go without me!
可是你得开车载我们！
But you have to drive us!
快点！
Come on!
快点 麦金老师！
Come on, Ms. Malkin!
普瑞来洗手液！
The Purell!
谁干的谁完蛋！救命啊！
Whoever did this will pay! Help!
他来了！
He’s coming!
我们得离开这里！ -交给我吧！
We have to get out of here! -I got this!
什么？ -我来自布朗克斯
What? -I’m from the Bronx.
我从八岁起就会开车了
I’ve been driving since I was eight.
耶！耶！
Yeah! Yeah! Do it! Woo-hoo!
我的天！
Oh my God!
喂 小姐 选好车道！
Hey, pick a lane, lady!
我就知道 里奥？
I knew it. Leo?
嘿！不！我讨厌这里！
Hey! Whoa, whoa. No. No, no, no, no, no. I hate it out here!
我跟它们解释了 我只是怕有人会说出去
And I explained to them, I was just afraid someone would tell.
可现在他们全都生我的气
But now they’re all mad at me,
我的葬礼肯定比三号♥仓鼠的还惨
and my funeral’s gonna be even worse than Hammy #3’s.
三号♥仓鼠是谁？ -应该是阿比餐厅的三明治
Who’s Hammy #3? -I think it’s a sandwich at Arby’s.
你为何说起自己的葬礼？
Why you talking about your funeral?
因为我随时都会翘辫子！
‘Cause it’s coming any day.
我快75岁了！
I’m almost 75 years old.
那又怎样？我们能活到110岁！
So what? We live to, like, 110.
什么？可是丝凯乐的爸爸说…
What? But Skyler’s dad said–
110岁？除非被短吻鳄吃掉
A hundred and ten, unless eaten by alligators.
我97岁了！
I’m 97.
我106了 它才74？还年轻着呢
A hundred six. He’s 74? He’s a tween.
看他眨眼多快！
Look how fast he blinks.
我会长命百岁！太不可思议了！
I’m gonna live! This is incredible!
这家伙会长命百岁！
The guy’s gonna live!
这家伙会长命百岁！
The guy’s gonna live! The guy’s gonna live!
我要回去找孩子们 我可以将功补过
I gotta get back to those kids. I can redeem myself!
我们会帮你的
And we’re gonna help you.
这家伙会长命百岁！这家伙会…
The guy’s gonna live! The–
我说了很抱歉！
I said I was sorry!
真希望我能横着走
I’d kill for lateral movement.
各位 在行动之前 先想想自己为何生气 好吗？
Guys, before you do anything, let’s talk about why you’re angry, okay?
有人的爸妈闹离婚吗？
Anyone’s parents getting divorced?
你不打算停车吗？ -我在努力！
Aren’t you gonna stop? -I’m trying.
但我才36公斤 这玩意需要上油！
But I weigh 80 pounds and this thing needs oil.
看起来好恐怖 我的天
This looks scary. Oh, my God.
快停下来！
Come on!
搞什么…那是真猛犸象吗？
What the… Is that some kind of woolly mammoth?
不知道 不过可能会杀死我们 对吧？
I don’t know, but it could kill us, right?
肯定的
Uh, definitely.
我们到了
We’re here.
后退
Get back.
老天 -别过来
Oh, gosh. Oh, no, no, no.
这得记过
That’s a demerit.
你需要冷静下来
You need to chill.
小夏 跟它说话
Summer, talk to him.
不知道你是否听过这个故事 但不要紧
So I don’t know if you know, but it doesn’t really matter.
我们本来要去魔法乐园 大家都说那里很好玩