我们没有登记…
No… never my official husband…
其实
then again
算是我最好的朋友
probably my best friend.
他的医生Ben通知我 时日已尽
His doctor Ben called me and said that it was time.
如他所愿
This is what he wanted.
我早该准备
I should have been prepared for it.
你是?
Who are you?
加里格兰特? (绅士美男)
Cary Grant?
我是摩门传教士
No Ma’am. I’m a Mormon missionary.
我们在发一些宣传册
We just pass out pamphlets.
他们教我们背诵一些对话和经♥文♥
And they give us these discussions that we memorize.
我真不知道如何宽慰你
I really don’t know what to say here.
你看过周日漫画吗?
Do you ever read the Sunday Comics?
什么?
I beg your pardon?
漫画版
The comic page.
小时候 我经常把脸凑在漫画前
When I was a little kid I used to put my face right up to them
惊讶于组成文图的无数的点
and I was just amazed because it was just this mass of dots.
我想生活也是一样
I think life is like that sometimes
如果从上帝的角度来看待
but I like to think that from God’s perspective
生命… 所有的一切…甚至死亡
life… everything… even this…
都有意义
makes sense.
不仅仅是一些点
It’s not just dots.
实际上我们相互关联
Instead we’re all… we’re all connected.
这种关系既优雅
And it’s beautiful.
又有趣
And it’s funny.
而且美好
And it’s good.
靠的太近 我们当下难以理解它的内涵
From this close we can’t expect it to make sense right now.
-谢谢你 -你留着吧
-Thank you. -Oh keep it.
你能来看我吗? 好吗?
Would you come and see me? Please?
酒水畅饮
Drinks are on the house.
我不喝酒
Oh I don’t drink.
看来你们的教派不易推广
That must make your church a bit of a hard sell.
习以为常了
At times.
保存这名片吧
Well just hold on to it anyway.
有机会你来 我请吃饭
Maybe you can come by for a meal…on me?
好的
I will.
一言为定?
Promise?
一定
I promise.
有意思吗? 安慰那哭泣的女人?
So, did you have fun? Talking to crying lady?
是啊
Yeah, I did actually.
我们错过了午饭时间
Good. So we missed lunch.
我看见你们一大清早出门
I’ve seen you guys going out early in the morning
你肯定猜测我去了哪里
I bet you are wonderingwhere I am off to
你总是去健身房♥
You are always at the gym.
不 我在当义工 天使送餐行动
No, I am volunteering now. Project Angel Food.
不错
That’s great.
想从我这得到什么 荣誉徽章?
What do you want from me, some sort of merit badge?
我只想… 你知道 你对我的评论不准确
No. I just… you know what you said about me it’s not true.
好 我错了 世界真美好
Fine! It’s not true and the world is a better place.
你不会因为我的那些话 才这么做的吧?
You’re not doing that cause of what I said, are you?
-不 我只是想我们能… -我们能怎么样?
-No, I just thought we could… -You thought we could what?
聊天喝茶? 成为密友? 夕阳下渐行渐远?
Hang out? Be best friends? Ride off into the sunset?
我不确定
I don’t know.
所有人好象都认为…
Everyone seems to think that…they treat me like I’m…
好象你完美无缺
…like you’re perfect.
也许吧
Yeah… maybe sometimes.
你是第一个让我感觉
And you are the first person I’ve met that’s made me feel
我还有不足 需要填补
like that’s not enough like maybe I want to be something more.
-所以我在想… -无论你怎么想
-So I just thought… -Look… whatever you thought…
都是不可能
Don’t.
我们是彩色和白色… 不能混在一起
We’re colors and whites……we don’t mix.
靠 我得去厕所
Oh fuck I got to piss.
走廊右边第一扇门
Hallway, first door on your right.
我不接吻
I don’t kiss.

Mmmm.
你叫什么?
What’s your name again?
迪克?
Dick?
德克
Dirk.
德克? 父母给你起名德克?
Dirk? Your parents named you Dirk?
其实是莫特
It’s really Mort.
我的朋友都叫我重口味莫特
My friends call me Watersports Mort.
我并非不欣赏你在后面努力付出
It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing back there but…
我们能否先聊聊
Could we have a little talk?
聊聊?
Talk?
好啊 我喜欢
Cool! I’m into that.
靠…我是你的亲亲小骚货
Fuck yeah… I am your nasty little slut boy.
我是你的小荡♥妇♥
I’m your pussy whore.
你要打奴家的小屁屁 因为奴家很淘气
You’re gonna spank momma’s ass cause she’s been a bad, bad girl!
我所说的聊天不是这个
Oh, OK that’s not exactly what I meant.
是交谈
I meant conversation.
交谈?
Conversation?
有必要吗?
Why?
难道你不想了解一个人?
Don’t you ever want to get to know someone?
有共鸣…单纯的睡在一起
Have it… mean something, sleep with someone and actually sleep with them.
你想要什么… 一起睡觉?
You wanna what… Sleep together?
我不懂…这样不会太亲密吗?
I don’t know man…Isn’t that kind of intimate?
抱歉 刚才你还在舔我的那个…
Excuse me, a moment ago you were licking my spleen
一起睡觉反而太过亲密?
but sleeping with you would be too intimate?
你可吓到我了
Whoa… now you’re freaking me out.
原来你口味这么奇怪
I didn’t know you were into weird shit.
我得走了
I’m just gonna go man.
-你又来了 -是啊
-It’s back… -Yeah!
今天一定是你TMD的幸运日
It must be your lucky fucking day.
或者我受的痛苦还不够
Or maybe I’m not suffering enough yet.
我没有指望能再看到你
I didn’t expect to see you again.
你以为摆出女王架子
Oh come on now you don’t think you going all Miss Cleo on me
能轻易把我吓走?
Is going to scare me off that easily now, do you?
可能痴呆症发作了
Maybe it’s just dementia setting in.
有时候我通灵 我以为自己是希腊的神使
Sometime I read people and I… I think I’m the Oracle at Delphi
有时候我嗓门大 不代表我是歌♥星Eartha Kitt
And sometimes I growl at people doesn’t make me Eartha Kitt.
我把饭放在这里
I’m going to put this right here.
无所谓 我还是一点不饿
Doesn’t matter I’m still not hungry.
我可没征求你
I don’t remember asking if you were.
我只负责送餐 记得吗?
I just deliver the stuff, remember?
但我朋友Andrew下了功夫 他男友都没这种待遇
But my friend Andrew made this and he doesn’t even cook for his boyfriend
所以你至少应该表示礼貌
so the least you can do is try and be polite.
吃了它
And eat it.
我没有必要装礼貌 我有这种权利
I don’t have to pretend to be polite I think I’ve earned that right.
很对 你快死了 你很痛苦 废话连篇
Oh yes, that’s right… you’re dying you’re bitter… blah blah
幸好我很肤浅 无动于衷
Fortunately I’m shallow so I’m impervious to that.
赶紧吃饭
Now eat it.
无动于衷
Impervious…
你一定不会拼写
I bet you don’t know how to spell that.
很简单啊 写作”来咬我啊”
Sure I do… It’s spelled ‘Bite me’.
为了证明我俩的争执
Now just to show that our little problems
只是小事一桩
in this world don’t amount to a hill of beans
让我们来看看别人的大♥麻♥烦
I’m going to read about some people who have some real trouble
不会吧
Say it isn’t so!
什么
What.
可怜的波霸Pam Anderson 隆胸太多次
Well, apparently poor Pam Anderson has had her breast implants taken out
整个胸部都被毁了
and put back in so many times her entire chest is collapsing.
还有三点式的照片
Oh they have bikini pictures.
-好可怕 -住嘴
-They’re horrible! -Shut up.
真的 都垂到膝盖了
No they are seriously, they’re down to her knees.
吃了鸡 就给你看
Eat your chicken and I’ll show you.
流氓
Prick.
快给我杂♥志♥
Give me the fucking magazine.
Aaron 怎么了
Aaron, what happened!
-出了车祸 -让我来帮你
-There was an accident. -Come on let me help you inside.
有辆车实在太快
There was this car that was just going way too fast…

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