闪亮的日子（2003）

初到洛杉矶 这里似乎汇集了无数的点
When I first came to Los Angeles, it looked like just this mass of dots.
杂乱无章 彼此毫无关联
All jumbled and disconnected.
《闪亮的日子》
真叫人难辨方向
It was pretty disorienting.
欢迎来地狱
搞什么 我是直人
What the fuck are you doing? I’m straight.
-嗯 其他人也这么说 -别 我可是认真的
-That is so how all guys say that. -No, I’m serious, dude.
是吗? 真可惜 我工夫超赞
Oh really? It’s too bad. ‘Cos I’m amazing.
不是吹牛
I don’t like to brag but
我的口♥活♥能把引擎塞从老式雪弗兰排气管里吸出来
I can suck the engine block to the tail pipe of the ’58 Chevy.
-真的? -我说的可是380马力的巨无霸哦
-Really? -Yeah, talking ’bout the big ones with the 380s.
-你了解汽车? -对 还有啤酒
-Oh. So you know cars, yeah? -And beer.
和跟女人不一样 你完事马上能喝一罐
Unlike with women, you can crack one open right after.
或者边喝边做也不错
You can have one during.
这是男人间的小乐趣
It’ll just be a little fun between buddies.
而且你无需事后打电♥话♥
And you’ll never have to call me.
除非你又想爽
Till you’re up for another round.
你不担心Elizabeth会闯进来?
You’re not worried about Elizabeth coming in?
什么Elizabeth? 我的室友是Julie
Elizabeth? My roommate is Julie.
我约了Elizabeth
I’m here for a date with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth 住在243D 低地的D
Elizabeth is 243D, as in ‘down the walk’.
这里243B 爽毙的B
This is 243B. As in ‘Blowjob’.
你不是聊天室”好奇小直男”?
You’re not StraightCurious from AOL?
-不 -靠 又遇到走错门的
-No. -Not again.
少来 你在吹牛
Oh, shut up! You are so lying to me!
看我的日记
No, check the journal! Look.
9月20日 我的天啊 真有趣
September 20th. Oh my God! That is so funny!
这事值得你写首歌♥
So maybe you should write a song about that.
真难相信 你的专辑小样即将完工
I can’t believe you’ve almost done with your demo
却还没献歌♥给我这死党
and you haven’t written a song about your best friend.
天地间难以相信的事情多了去了
Yeah, I can’t believe that the tree falls in the forest
怎会都与你有关系
it wouldn’t have something to do with you.
马提尼 伏特加还是琴酒?
Hey, J. Martinis, vodka or gin?
琴酒 顺便叫你朋友去自插
Gin, and you can tell that friend of yours to go fuck himself.
这绝活唯有一个朋友能做到
You know, I only have one friend who can
你俩应该不相识
actually do that, and I doubt you’ve met.
那个贝司手啦 我们本该一起编曲
I mean the base player. We were just supposed to lay down some tracks
才两首歌♥的时间 我的胸罩上就多了一双手
but the second song it was like my bra had grown hands.
喂 璞玉们 点单来了
Excuse me, wannabees, order up.
才进一轮复试 她就自认奥斯卡影后
One callback, she’s Margo Channing
第二轮 谢谢 第二女主角 正经电影哦
Second callback, thank you. Second lead in the feature.
本姑娘志在必得 不久就要甩掉你们这帮窝囊废
I’m so getting this. Soon, I can kiss you losers goodbye
这鬼地方总算有点回报
and finally justify moving to this miserable fucking town.
你见过Barry Wolf?
You ever read for Barry Wolf?
才这些薯条? 快给我装满
Hey, why are we skipping on the fries? Come on, load me up.
那人曾叫我去试镜
Barry Wolf read me once for this commercial,
一直用眼神吃我豆腐
he was licking me with his eye the whole time.
他外号♥”少男猎手”
They don’t call him the ‘Wolf who cried Boy’ for nothing.
那贱♥人♥不待见我
You know, he wouldn’t even see me for that crappy TV
他不许我演”同志怪邻居”
‘Wacky Gay Neighbour’ thing?
什么嘛? 人家明明又gay又怪
What’s that about? I’m gay, I’m wacky.
也许你不像邻家男孩
Maybe you’re not neighbourly.
滚 我可是响当当的最佳女配角
Fuck you. I’m Donna Reed on a stick
抱歉各位亲爱的 我不想打断
Excuse me, darlings. I hate to interrupt this
各位大明星重要的谈话…
important discussion between all you big stars…
-当小明星我就满意了 -还算有自知之明
-I’ll settle for medium star. -Point well taken.
听说迪尼斯要开一家奇幻餐馆
In the meantime, I hear that Disney’s opening a Fantasia restaurant
盘子会飞到桌子上
where the plates fly themselves to the tables.
-你们还是动动手吧 -借过 热菜来了
-Until then, what to do. -Hot stuff, coming through. Yes!
你们好
Hi guys.
等会去Funny Boys的KTV记得带上我的歌♥
You take one of my tracks and give the karaoke at Funny Boys.
-玛格丽塔酒买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥哦 -那就去吧
-Also two-for-one margaritas? -I’ll be there.
祝你用餐愉快
Enjoy your meal.
别傻楞着 没时间可浪费
Quit gawking, we don’t have all day.
-靠 -靠你丫
-Au, fuck. -Yeah, fuck you too.
-妈? -Julie 你在哪?
-Mum? -Julie. Where the hell are you?
在家 你不正往家拨号♥吗? 昨晚我们在哪鬼混的?
I’m here. Isn’t this where you called me, where did we end up last night?
不知道 但是我胸罩不见了 不是好兆头
I don’t know, but I woke up without my bra. That’s never a good sign.
这种小事无需担心
I wouldn’t worry about it.
怎么打电♥话♥? 你难道不应该轻轻走来
So why are you calling me and not just tiptoeing
给我头疼药和安慰吗?
across the hall with sympathy and Excedrin?
我来过 以为你不在 骑行健身课开始了
I tried that, I thought you’d gone. Spin class is starting. -Oh fuck.
稍等
Hey, hold up a minute.
-咱们见过 -我刚来的
-We’ve met. -Um, no, I’m brand new here.
-新来的 快跟上 -我得走了
-Hey, Green, let’s get it moving along huh. -Gotta go.
终于完工…Harmon不行了
All unpacked… final bell, Harmon is down.
Gilford 快来给我按♥摩♥背部
Hey Gilford why don’t you come over here and give me a back rub?
贱♥人♥找错对象 少做梦 基佬
Wrong tree. Barking. Think I’m rubbing your pimply back, you homo.
David 新来的 你俩做回好人?
David? Come on, Green, help a guy, allright?
我还要整理东西
Have stuff to put away.
来啊Gil 只要10分钟 会回报你的
Come on, Gil, just like ten minutes. You know I’d give you one.
-那你先服务我 -滚 我先开口的
-You’re on. -No, I asked you first. Nope.
痛 准备受死吧
That hurts! Prepare to die, dude.
-嘿 -嗨
-Hey. -Hi!
记得我吗 住在对面的?
You remember me, from across the way?
记得 Harmon找你的
Yeah. Harmon!
我来送欢迎礼 一些啤酒
I brought you guys a ‘Welcome to the complex’ sixer.
多谢 我们不喝酒
Uh, thanks, but we don’t drink.
你们算哪种兄弟会男生?
What kind of frat boys are you?
谁叫了基佬速递?
Who called up Deliver-A-Fag?
-小声点 他会听到的 -我才不在乎
-Ryder, a little louder and he’ll probably hear you. -I don’t care
他短裤好恶心
You see those flippin’ shorts he was wearing?
-核对一下 -行 这三项
-Just check that. -OK, three of these
今晚有大帅哥Daniel
There was the most adorable man, Daniel, here this evening.
-应该介绍给你 -是吗?
-I thought I might introduce you. -Really?
蓝衬衫 酒吧尽头?
Blue shirt, end of the bar?
是啊 Daniel 我们见过
Actually yes. Daniel. We’ve met.
8月3日… 普普通通 很一般
August, 3rd… yup. Oh, not so good, not so good.
Andrew 给我一杯梅乐
Andrew, can I have a glass of that Merlot there?
Ben打电♥话♥找你
Sure thing. And Ben called for you, Miss M.
既然他周末才来电♥话♥
Well, I suppose if he calls this late in the week,
-我就晚点回给他 如何? -当然
-I can call him this late in the evening, right? -Absolutely
想听奇事吗? 记得那四个
You guys wanna hear something freaky? Remember those four people
搬进Elizabeth旧居的人吗?
that moved into Elizabeth’s old apartment?
猜猜他们是做什么的
Guess what they do.
-色情男优 -这个镇上不足为奇
-Quadruplet porn stars. -This town? Hardly freaky.
斗牛的小丑
They’re rodeo clowns.
不是 比那个还出奇
No, listen, it’s even weirder than that.
他们是摩♥门♥教♥的传教士 上帝为证
They are Mormon missionaries, swear to God.
小丑倒酷一点
Oh. Although rodeo clowns would’ve been kinda cool.
他们一定热爱你脱轨的生活方式
They must’ve loved your aberrant lifestyle.
我约会过一个摩♥门♥教♥徒 他家人强迫他电疗
I dated a Mormon guy once. His family put him through shock therapy.
他在床上真狂野 完事他就想跳窗
We have sex, he was wild. Then he wanna throw himself out the window.
-你住在一楼吧 -对啊 可杜♥鹃♥花要遭殃
-So, you live on the first floor. -Yes, but it’s hell on my azaleas
在他们同化你之前 先同化他们 是不是很有趣?
Wouldn’t it be funny if you converted them instead of them converting you?
我见过他们 菊花紧的不好下手
No, I’ve seen these boys, they’re wound way too tight for that.
我打赌他办不到
I bet he can’t do it.
等一下 我们要打赌?
Oh, wait. Are we betting here?
老规矩 小钱小酒?
Same as always, five and a sixer?
玩大的 20块我说他办不到
Oh no, this is big. 20 bucks says he can’t.
再高点? 50块赌他办不到
We’re going high stakes? 50 says he can’t.
我见过他们骑车 这次你碰到对手了
I’ve seen the guys on the bikes. This time you’ve met your match.
胡扯 50块赌他赢 外加擦一周的桌子
Bullshit. 50 says he can. And I bust tables for a week.
-50块 两周 赌他输 -我押Andrew 你没戏
-50, 2 weeks, can’t. -OK, I’m in with Andrew, no way.
行 一言为定?
Oh, cool. We on?
到底在讨论什么啊? 要我把他怎样?
So what are we talking about here? I get him to what?
-做任何事情? 吹♥箫♥? -我们需要证据
-Do anything? Blowjob? -We need proof.
OK 内♥裤♥ 在军队里我认识另一个摩♥门♥教♥徒
OK, underwear. I knew this other Mormon guy in the army.
他们有神圣的四角内♥裤♥
They got these sacred boxers they shimmer.
搞一条来
Get one of those.
神圣内♥裤♥? 我要开开眼界 太棒了 我必须加入
Sacred undies? I gotta see this. All right, I’m in.