幻影英雄（1993）

但，你只是个典型的坏蛋，笨
But, no, you’re the typical villain. Dumb.
你也不是天才小子
You ain’t no genius yourself, kid.
那个屁七分钟后就放 – 去准备我的车
The Fart goes off in seven minutes. – Get my car.
去啊
Move it.
可是
Well,
我想留着看热闹
I’d love to stay and watch the fun,
但我要制♥造♥不在场证据
but I have to go and establish my alibi.
你这就叫拯救？
So, is this the day you were talking about saving?
你什么都没做
I don’t see you doing anything.
我不想抢你风头
I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder.
不
No, no, no.
你留在这儿，确保一切依计行事
You stay here and make sure everything goes on as planned.
你也曾令斯莱特“危在夕旦”
You had Slater in front of the eight ball before,
但你总是搞砸
but you always screwed it up.
走吧
All right. Let’s go.
是“危在旦夕”，笨蛋
It’s behind the eight ball, you moron.
有人说我太多话，我不说了
Somebody once told me I talk too much. No more words.
小胡子！你去了哪里？
Whiskers! Where the hell have you been?
抱歉，杰克，追毛球去了
Sorry, Jack. Fur ball problem.
封锁此区
Seal off the area.
5分钟后可能有爆♥炸♥
There’s a possible chemical explosion in five minutes.
谢谢，小胡子，我欠你这个人情 – 算了
Thanks, Whiskers. I owe you one. – Forget it.
你救了我很多次
You saved my fur plenty of times.
看见那吊钩？
You see the hook of that crane?
我要它两分钟内到屋顶，去
I want it on top of the roof in two minutes. Go.
等等，我要怎样做？
Wait. How do I get them to do that?
帮我移♥动♥那吊钩！
You got to help me move that crane! You got to help me!
帮我把吊钩移到屋顶上！ – 见鬼
I got to get that crane to the roof. – Shit.
等一下！你要操作这东西！
Hey, wait a minute! You got to work this thing!
我连车都不会开
I don’t even know how to drive.
劳驾
Pardon me.
拜托
Excuse me.
劳驾
Pardon me.
他是个好人
He was a good man.
一个胃气胀的人
A flatulent man.
你听见吗？
Do you hear this?
救我！快带我走！
Help me. Get me out of here.
我的天！这个人未死！
My God! This man’s not dead!
让开！
Get out of the way!
他需要医生！让开！
This man needs a doctor! Out of my way.
他需要医生！ – 我是医生
This man needs a doctor! – I’m a doctor.
你是医生？ – 对
You’re a doctor? – Yes.
检查他的下巴
Check his chin.
医生晕了，有人能帮忙吗？
The doctor has fainted. Can somebody help this man here?
我把尸体… 我指病人带走
I’ll take the corpse… I mean, the patient.
看，一头象
Look, an elephant.
等等！别开枪！他会丢掉李奥！
Hold it! Don’t shoot! He’ll drop Leo!
别开枪！
Don’t shoot!
他妈的！
Oh, shit!
小心！
Watch out!
这是禁飞区，伙计
It’s a no-fly zone, fella.
丹尼！
Danny!
他在计时！
He’s ticking!
尽快把吊钩移过来！
Move the crane as fast as you can!
丹尼！立即停止吊钩！
Danny! Stop the crane now! Stop it!
掉下来！去！去你的！
Drop! Go! Go! Go! Go! Damn you! Go!
气袋，掉下去！去你的！
Gas bag, drop! Damn you! Drop!
气袋，掉下去！
Drop! Gas bag, drop!
快走！所有人离开！
Get out of here! Everybody out!
臭而不响
Silent, but deadly.
把车开过来
Bring the car around.
不能，直升机降落在上面了
Can’t. The helicopter landed on it.
我讨厌这件事
I hate when that happens.
焦油真的很粘
You know, tar actually sticks to some people.
爸！
Hey, Dad!
听说你在，你要衣服吧
I heard you were here. I thought you could use some clothes.
谢谢，乖女
Thanks, honey.
等等
Wait a minute.
等等，这不是太巧合了吗？
No one finds this a little convenient?
你常说这是部电影，不是吗？
Hey, kid, you always said this is a movie, didn’t you?
如何？
How did it go?
计划怎样了？
How did it go?
我很心急
Come on. I’m dying out here.
结果如何？我要知道进展情况
How was it? I want to know how it went.
来，快些，结果怎样？
Come on, move your butt. How did it went?
好极了
Splendid.
什么？
What?
进行得很顺利！
It went splendidly!
等一等，我听不见
Wait, wait a minute. I can’t hear you.
我不想听漏掉任何东西
I don’t want to miss a thing.
过来，过来
Come here. Come here.
本尼迪克，过来这儿 – 好
Hey, Benedict, get your stuff. – Yes.
做得漂亮吗？ – 每个细节都完美
Was it beautiful? – Perfect in every detail.
那气罐
And the gas tanks.
没问题吧？
Were they okay?
计算精确
Like clockwork.
你该在那儿
You should have been there.
男女老幼都倒下
Men, women and children dropping left and right,
叫喊着
writhing and screaming.
等一下，等一下
Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Wait a minute.
我要好好听
I want to enjoy it all.
来，告诉我
Go on, go on. Tell me, tell me.
他们在挣扎，希望着解除痛苦
They were writhing and screaming and leaping to their doom to escape the pain.
真的？ – 不，我在撒谎
Really? Really? – No, not really. I’m lying.
其实是完全失败了
It was a complete and utter balls-up
多亏你，我才有这可怕的一天
and I’ve had a terrible day, thanks largely to you.
怎么了，本尼迪克？
What is this, Benedict?
你本来是我朋友，现在却是…
First, you’re my friend. Now you turn a…
360度改变 – 天啊
360 on me. – God.
180度，你这个意大利笨蛋
One-eighty, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin.
180度！
NOne-eighty!
如果是360度，我就是回到原地了！
If I did a 360, I’d go completely around and end up back where I started!
什么？
What?
相信我
Trust me.
如果那小怪物丹尼·麦迪根能够穿梭两个世界
If that little turd, Daniel Madigan, can move through parallel worlds,
我也能穿梭世界，出入自如
I can move through parallel worlds, in and out.
尽情地进去偷，再出来
In, steal whatever I want, and out again.
不可能被捉
Impossible to catch.
如果神是坏蛋
If God was a villain,
他会是我
he’d be me.
我现在吸尘吗？
You want me vacuum now?
不，谢谢
No, thank you.
但泳池需要打理
But the pool could benefit from some attention.
很好
Very good.
别动
Don’t move.
好吧，斯莱特，我会静静地走
All right, Slater, I’ll go quietly.
你当然要
The hell you will.
那是为炸毁我表兄弗兰克的房♥子
That was for blowing up my second cousin, Frank’s house.
这下…
And this…
是为炸掉我前妻的屋子
is for blowing up my ex-wife’s house.
但这下…
But this…
是为我女儿的黑眼圈！
This is for my daughter’s black eye!
通常我这样做时，会有个洞
Usually, when I do that, it leaves a hole.
那张票
The ticket.
杰克，他拿了那张票！
Jack, he’s got the ticket!
那就是关键，真神奇
It’s the key to everything. It’s magic.
看？
See?
那是我的世界！他去了我的世界！
That’s my world! He’s gone over to my world!
门仍开着，来！
The door, it must still be open. Come on!
我不再担心你是疯了
I’m not worried that you’re crazy any more.