小贼、美女和妙探（2005）

丢到我的浴室？拜托，你说这是现实生活耶
In my shower? Come on, you said real life.
他们在设计你，蠢蛋-才没有，你闭嘴
They were setting you up, dummy. They’re not setting me up. Shut up.
你每五分钟就改变说法
You change your tune every five minutes.
亲我-什么？不要、不要
Kiss me. What? No, no, no.
看看那对“狗男男”
Check out Doris and Lucinda over here.
这些课太烂了
These lessons suck.
我不上了！什么侦探什么浮在湖面的尸体…
I quit. This is not being a detective. Corpses floating in lakes…
还有互相亲来亲去的这样不对，简直是大错特错
…people kissing people. This is wrong. This is every shade of wrong.
有人要解释一下给我听吗？
Somebody wanna fill me in?
她以为我是侦探就将错就错
She thinks I’m a detective, so go along with it.
什么？-不要耍我
What? Don’t fuck me up.
嘿
Hey.
你知道有警♥察♥在找你吗，哈利？
Do you know the cops are looking for you, Harry?
是吗？-对啊
They are? Yeah.
我让他们去别的房♥间了我不知道还能怎么办
I sent them to the wrong room. I didn’t know what else to do.
你做的很好派瑞跟我只是在…
You did fine. Perry and I, we’re just…
嗨，派瑞-我们只是在…玩个游戏
Hiya, Perry. We’re just running, you know, a game.
派瑞，你说是什么游戏来着？
Perry, what do you call it?
就是把他们拉进来推出去的游戏我们刚就在玩这个
The old Bring Them In and Push Them Out. That’s what we’re doing.
怎么了？
What’s going on?
为什么你跟派瑞在使眼色？
Why are you and Perry nacking on each other?
我送她回家，让她相信一，我们明天会讨论她的案子…
I sent her home believing, A, we ‘d meet tomorrow to go over her case…
还有二，我其实不是同志
…and, B, I wasn ‘t actually gay.
不要问我怎么证明第二个事情的
Do not ask me how I did B.
我们把尸体留在那算了
Why didn’t we just leave it there?
动点脑筋，笨蛋有人打电♥话♥报♥警♥说你房♥间有事…
Think, dummy. A 911call from your hotel room…
结果外面突然就出现一具尸体？这个点子很糟
…all of a sudden, there’s a corpse outside? Bad idea.
说到糟糕的点子你自己接起案子来是怎么回事？
Speaking of bad ideas, what’s this about you taking on your own case?
你做了那么多蠢事还不够啊？
Of all the dipshit things to do.
那个女生是自杀的
Killed herself, by the way.
自杀我帮你解决问题了
Killed herself. I solved your case for you.
哈梦妮觉得…-我不在乎…听我说
Harmony’s convinced… I don’t care about… Listen to me.
她妹是自杀的-我知道了
Little sis punched her own ticket. Okay. Gotcha.
好了，前面看起来不错该卸下行李了
All right, this looks good up ahead. Time to lose the luggage.
抱歉了，甜心
Sorry, sweetheart.
你不该有这种下场的
You deserved better.
（第三天小妹）
在我离开前我送她去寄养家庭
Before I left, I got her into foster care.
我没跟你说过他对她有多坏我是说我爸
I’ve never told you just how awful he treated her. My dad, I’m talking about.
跟你说我通常都会记笔记…
I’ll tell you what, I take notes, in general…
所以说得越详细越好
…so if you’re just real specific, thorough and precise, that’ll help.
我记得我只有对她说过一次谎
I remember only lying to her one time.
我说
I said to her:
“搞不好住在这里的那个人不是你♥爸♥爸”
“Maybe the man who is living here is not your father.”
你跟你妹说她是被领养的？
You told your sister she was adopted, yeah?
不是，我编的更棒
No, I did one better.
我跟她说她真正的父亲是个演员…
I told her her real father was an actor…
为了拍电影到镇上来
…who was in the movie that came through town.
强尼葛萨默…-强尼葛萨默的电影，对了
Jonny Gossamer… Jonny Gossamer movie. That’s right.
我跟珍娜说有一天她会去好莱坞…
I told Jenna one day she’d go to Hollywood…
然后跟她那知名的父亲相认
…and she’d meet her famous, real father.
（1980年3月2号♥星期二印第安那州安布利）
（洛杉矶电影拍摄小组入侵安布利）
她相信了我说的话，哈利所以她跑来找他
She believed me, Harry, and she came out here looking for him.
好，资讯已经很多了我可以开始…
Okay, this is a bunch. I can start my…
调查了-谢谢
…process, I guess. Thank you.
我要正式开始调查了这是我的名片
I’m on the case. Here is my card.
（神奇哈洛）
这是具有魔力的名片，所以…-哇，神奇哈洛
It’s a magic card, so… Wow, “the Amazing Harold.”
请说“阿伯卡达巴”-怎么了？有人告你吗？
Just say “abracadabra.” What happened, somebody sue you?
你以前把我砍成两半时念的咒语是“阿♥拉♥卡参”
It used to be “alakazam” when you cut me in half.
还有，我不是要挑毛病啦不过以前是“伟大的哈洛”
And, not to be picky, but it was “Harold the Great.”
不是，我以前是伟大现在是神奇了，习惯一下新名称
No, I used to be great, now I’m amazing. Get with it.
嗨，是我你有听到什么消息吗？
Hi, it’s me. you hear anything?
没有，报纸上没写什么所以…
No, there’s nothing in the papers, so…
我现在忙着调查哈梦妮的案子
I’m busy working on Harmony’s case.
什么案子？不要管她了
Wtat case? Leave ter alone.
第五频道在播了，刚开始待会儿打电♥话♥给我
News on Channel 5, just starting. Call me after.
接下来是一件变调的绑♥架♥案件目前还不清楚为什么他的女儿…
a kidnapping gone wrong. It is unclear why his daughter…
会遭到谋杀…
…was subsequently murdered or where…
根据警方的说法她被杀害之后弃尸
…for she was almost certainly killed and then moved, police sources say.
维若妮卡戴克斯特昨天下午失踪…
Veronica Dexter was reported missing yesterday afternoon…
因为她未出现在机场迎接男友
…when she failed to greet her boyfriend at the airport.
戴克斯特小姐最近刚成为头条人物因为她从巴黎回国…
Miss Dexter recently made headlines when she returned from Paris…
撤销对她父亲高达百万元的告诉…
…and withdrew her multimillion-dollar lawsuit against her father…
她的父亲就是演员出身的大企业家哈伦戴克斯特
…actor-turned-entrepreneur Harlan Dexter.
戴克斯特先生就是知名的戴克斯特诊所老板
Mr. Dexter owns the prestigious Dexter Clinic.
他的太太于去年春天过世女儿维若妮卡因此回国…
His wife died last spring, prompting Veronica ‘s return to the U. S…
同时跟父亲化解了多年的恩怨
…and a father-daughter reconciliation following years of estrangement.
维若妮卡戴克斯特昨天刚满25岁，保罗
Veronica Dexter, 25 years old yesterday. paul.
我们也在那个派对上你是说…
We were just at that party. Are you telling me…
湖里的那个女孩就是维若妮卡戴克斯特？
…that the girl in the lake, that was Veronica Dexter?
身分证、身上的伤跟牙齿的检测都证明是她
Positive ID, scars, dental records.
你跟条子朋友谈过了？-对，没有太多资讯
You talked to your police guy? Y eah, not much there.
验尸报告出来了没有被强♥暴♥的迹象
The lab report came back, no sign of rape.
这是目前的资讯
Boils down to this:
维若妮卡戴克斯特昨天下午大概4点30分离开家
Veronica Dexter, yesterday afternoon about 4:30, left her home.
出发到机场去接男朋友然后就失踪了
Went off to the airport, pick up some dude, old boyfriend. Off she went.
那是她失踪前最后一次被看到？-在她的头还完整无缺的时候
That was the last anybody saw of her? With a summetrical, ungooshed head.
警♥察♥有找到她的车吗？
Police ever find the car?
没有，天才，我们发现的记得吗？
No, genius, that was us. Remember?
喔，对耶
Oh, yeah, right.
杀手一定在派对现场，哈利-是吗？
The killers were at the party, Harry. They were?
杀手在戴克斯特家？-所以他们才会认识你
The killers were at Dexter’s? That’s how they recognized you.
事情越来越令人害怕了你得离开，今天就搭机离开
It’s getting too scary. You gotta bail. Get a flight out, today.
可是我礼拜二有试镜，礼拜三走吧-那不重要了
But I got my screen test Tuesday. I’ll go Wednesday.
你不会得到那个角色的-干！不要傻了
You’re not getting the part. Fuck off. Don’t be a schmuck.
我知道我行的-你不会得到那个角色的
I know it’s a long shot. You’re not gonna get the part.
你没有听进我的话你不可能会…哈利！
You’re not listening to me. You won’t get the… Harry!
你不可能拿到那个角色的，好吗？柯林法洛已经拿了太多片酬
You’re not gonna get the part, okay? Colin Farrell wants too much money.
懂了吗？
Do you get me now?
戴伯尼发现了新星一个新的小伙子，愿意拿很少的片酬
Dabney, he unearths a discovery. New kid, works for cheap.
让他飞过来高调地参加一堆派对…
Flies him out here, high profile, parties…
给他试镜的机会让他上侦探课，给他一切
…screen tests, detective lessons, all of it.
你只是被利用而已
You were just being used.
是被用来省被柯林法洛花掉的百万片酬
Shave a couple million off of Colin Farrell’s price tag.
抱歉，老兄，事情就是这样
Sorry, chief. There it is.
我不要再对你说谎了
I’m not gonna lie to you anymore.
如果你想揍我的话我能理解干！
I understand if you wanna take a swing at me. You fuck!
你这个娘娘腔！
You sissy bitch!
住手
Stop.
你别想约哈梦妮出去了
Don’t bother asking Harmony out on your date.
她发现你不是侦探对她说谎，其实不太高兴
She wasn’t very happy to find out that you’re not a detective, that you lied.
你跟她说了？-捡起来
You told her? Pick those up.
把东西捡起来
Pick them up.
你干嘛跟她说？没有必要跟她说啊
Why did you tell her? You didn’t have to tell her.
我真是白♥痴♥，还以为我们是朋友-我们不是朋友
I am an idiot. I thought we were friends. We’re not friends.
我碰到困难的时候，你都有帮我-没有，我是…不要再说了
I was in trouble, you were there for me. No, I was… Stop speaking.
我是去保护我的老板戴伯尼的懂不懂
I was there protecting my employer, Dabney. Hello.
他请我去，这样他就不会接触到尸体
He pays me to insulate him from corpses.
我不是好人，哈利
I’m not a nice man, Harry.
在坏事发生在你身上之前快点回家吧
Go home before something bad happens to you.
你在威胁我吗？-不是，白♥痴♥啊
What, are you threatening me? No, moron.
在坏人去找你算帐之前回家
Go home before the bad guys do something bad to you.
好，我知道了，好
Right, I get it. Fine.
圣诞快乐抱歉我耍了你
Merry Christmas. Sorry I fucked you over.
没关系不要转“性”喔
No problem. Don’t quit your gay job.
（没有空房♥汽车旅馆）
搭乘758班机从丹佛飞过来的乘客…
Arriving passengers from flight number 758 from Denver…
请到二号♥转盘拿行李
…may retrieve their baggage at caroysel two.
嘿，芙莉卡，是我啊，哈利
Hey, Flicka. Hey, it’s me, Harry.
还记得我吗？你好吗，蜜糖？
Remember me? What’s up, honey? How are you?
她不想跟你讲话-喔，不是不是，我知道