小贼、美女和妙探（2005）

他把女儿关到这里然后派个假冒的到外头
He stashed his daughter in here, and then he put the ringer on the street.
因为他需要一个像她的人撤销告诉
He needs someone who looks like her to withdraw the complaint.
已经10年了-这真是太疯狂了
It’s been 10 years. This is nuts.
根本就是葛萨默书里的剧情-当然啊…
It’s right out of a Gossamer book. Of course…
设计整个犯罪案件的人拥有葛萨默所有的着作
…because the guy who planned the crimes has all the books.
他读了所有的书，那些书都在他家而且他还参与了…
He’s read them all. They’re in his house. Plus, he was in that piece of shit…
那个电影演出
…movie.
你是说那个假冒的女生…
You’re telling me the girl imposter…
一个挺而走险的男人需要一个假冒的女儿
A desperate man needs a replacement daughter.
然后一个女孩出现了哈梦妮的妹妹
Along comes a girl, Harmony’s sister.
刚下公车，要寻找她的父亲-我想我找到冒牌货了
Fresh off the bus, looking for her dad. I’d say I found my imposter.
离开这里吧
Let’s get out of here.
那她去了哪里呢？-闭嘴，我正在思考
So where did she go from here? Shut up, I’m thinking.
对了，这件事情
By the way, this thing:
是你做过最娘的事情
Single gayest thing you’ve ever done.
晚安，各位-嗨，我们彻底的迷路了
Evening, gentlemen. Hi, we are so incredibly lost.
凡史卓克先生，哈啰
Mr. Van Shrike, hello.
你们看起来很冷进来吧
You look chilly. Come back inside.
我是从东岸来的很习惯冷冷的天气
I’m from back East. I’m kind of digging the cold.
干！那是他说的-不然我可以在这里把你杀了
Fuck! He’s the one who said it. Or I can kill you here.
哈利，我想的是真实跟虚构之间的关系
Harry, I was thinking some more about this reality versus fiction.
比如说在电影里面，如果一个人拿把枪抵在一个蠢蛋背后跟他说
Like in the movies, when a guy sticks a gun at some schmuck’s back and says:
“散个步吧”，就代表他有了人♥质♥-我看过那部电影
“Let’s take a walk.” He’s got a hostage. I’ve seen that movie.
在现实生活中，那样的职业绑匪应该会保持五英尺的距离
In reality, the pros like about five feet of separation.
这样那个蠢蛋才没机会抢到枪反过来把绑匪给毙了
That’s so the schmuck doesn’t take the gun back and make him eat it.
很烂吧？我刚刚打了你
Doesn’t that suck? I just hit you for no reason.
小心
Watch it.
告诉我们哈梦妮在哪儿-去死吧
T ell us where Harmony is. Fuck you, mary.
你还是不懂，对吧？这不是好警♥察♥跟坏警♥察♥的状况
You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t “good cop, bad cop.”
我们是同志跟纽约客你麻烦大了
This is fag and New Yorker. You’re in a lot of trouble.
拜托，你到底在保护谁？一切都结束了，戴克斯特完了
For chrissake, who are you protecting? It’s all over. Dexter is going down.
完蛋了-我知道维若妮卡的官司
Down. I know about Veronica’s lawsuit.
我知道戴克斯特快要破产了还知道他找了假冒的女儿
I know Dexter was facing ruin. I even know he switched daughters.
而且还成功的唬弄大家好一阵子直到上个礼拜才被戳破
Which, for God’s sake, actually did work for a while, till last week.
所以他不得不杀了她，对吧？-闭上你的嘴
Then he had to kill her, huh? Put a sock in it.
我在问问题-如果你问我们问题…
I’m asking a question. If you ask questions…
感觉好像我们什么都不知道懂吗？
…then it seems like we don’t know anything. Okay?
还有啊，一定是她男朋友那个从巴黎来的家伙
And for the record, it was the boyfriend, the guy from Paris.
他发现了冒牌货发现“那不是维若妮卡”，没错吧？
He would’ve spothed the fake and said, “That’s not Veronica.” Am I right?
干！-没错
Fuck you! Exactly.
所以戴克斯特派人杀了维若妮卡让她穿上衣服…
So Dexter had Veronica killed, threw a dress on her…
把尸体载去弃尸，然后走人不过他忽略了一件事
…dumped the body and walked away clean, except for one little thing.
贴身衣物-一套内衣内♥裤♥
Underpants. One tiny little pair of undies.
对
Yeah.
你觉得很好笑吗？我要打断你的鼻子
You think that’s funny, huh? I’m gonna break your nose now.
我要你想像脑袋中有子弹的样子可以吗？
I want you to picture a bullet inside your head. Can you do that for me?
去死吧
Fuck you.
你的意思很含糊不清？-含糊不清？我可不这样想
Anyway, that’s ambiguous. Ambiguous? I don’t think so.
不是啦，他是说你说“想像脑袋中有子弹”
He means when you say, “Picture it inside your head”…
意思是“待会儿你的脑袋里会有子弹”
…is that “a bullet will be inside your head”…
还是“想像有子弹”的意思呢？-哈利，不要再碎碎念了
…or “picture it in your head”? Harry, will you shut up.
我根本不认识那个女的，真的我是唬你们的
I don’t know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.
我觉得你现在才是唬人的-哈利，你在干嘛？
I think that you are bluffing right now. Harry, what are you doing?
对付这种喜欢唬人的家伙…
What I’m doing for the guy who likes to bluff…
我会玩一种游戏叫做“我在吹牛吗？”，她在哪儿？
…is I’m playing a little game called “Am I Bluffing?” Where is she?
哈梦妮到底在哪里？你想来硬的吗？
Where the fuck is Harmony? You want to play hardball?
那女孩到底在哪里？
Where is the girl?
你刚做了什么？
What did you just do?
我刚放了一颗子弹到他脑袋里-你在枪里面装了子弹？
I just put in one bullet, didn’t I? You put a live round in that gun?
是啊，大概有百分之八的机会
Yeah, there was like an 8 percent chance.
八？你的数学是谁教的？-可能更多吧，我不知道…
Eight? Who taught you math? Maybe it was more. I don’t know…
该死！
Shit!
哈啰？-派瑞，是你吗？
Hello? Perry, is that you?
嘿，是我-嗨，哈梦妮
Hey, it’s me. Hi, Harmony.
怎么回事？-你在哪儿？
Wtat’s going on? Where are you?
在家啊-你在家？
At home. you ‘re at home?
我刚回到家，今天整天都待在比佛利山庄，一个无聊的宴会
I just got back. I was in the Hills all day. Shitty reception.
你听起来不太好-你为什么不跟着直觉走？
You don’t sound so good. Why aren’t you following your lead?
喔，算了啦，那太扯了
Oh, forget it. It’s just crazy.
不，一点都不扯听着…
No, it’s not crazy. Listen…
一切都在葛萨默书里面-别说话，听我说
It’s right oyt of a Gossamer book. Don’t talk. Listen.
百分之八-还有你，不要再算了
Eight percent. And you, stop multiplying.
不，不是你听着，打电♥话♥到市中心…
No, not you. Listen, call downtown…
问问看维若妮卡戴克斯特的尸体被送到太平间没
…see if Veronica Dexter’s body has gone to the mortuary.
如果有的话问问看火葬的时间确定没
If it has, see if there ‘s a cremation schedyled.
等等，派瑞-打电♥话♥给我
Wait, Perry. Call me back right away.
反正他本来就要杀你的他是这样说的
Look, he was gonna kill you anyway. He said so.
把他盖起来，我去开车
Cover him up. I’ll get the car.
好，这样就差不多了-哈利…
All right, that’s pretty much all done. Harry…
我知道了我们可以把戴克斯特那个混♥蛋♥打倒
I got an idea. I say we take the son of a bitch Dexter down.
带他去赛车场请他喝一杯
To the racetrack and buy the son of a gun a drink.
你觉得怎么样，派瑞？干！这不公平，一点都不公平
What do you say, Perry? Oh, fuck, no fair. No fucking fair.
艾力欧，帮凡史卓克先生搜个身
Aurelio, give Mr. Van Shrike a little pat down.
站好
Fucking maricón.
丢过来，看看是谁打来的
Toss it here. Let’s see who it is.
我们麻烦大了戴克斯特逮到我们啦
We’re in trouble. Dexter’s got us.
他刚叫了地毯清洁服务公♥司♥去救他
He just asked a carpet-cleaning service to save him.
抱歉啦，孩子，手倒是很好看呢
Sorry, kid. Good hands, though.
谢谢，我以前是魔术师
Thanks. Used to be a magician.
只要39块9毛9，一半的时间我们就可以清好三个房♥间的地毯
And for 39.99 we’ll carpet up to three rooms in half the time.
这个服务价值40块喔心动不如马上行动
That’s a $40 value. Act today.
棺材里的那个小妞根本就…
That chick in the casket, she won’t even match up with that…
跟你搬来搬去的冒牌货不一样你有想过吗？
…ringer you been toting around. You ever think about that?
有啊，哈利所以他要把尸体火化
He did, Harry. That’s why he’s cremating the body.
准备好了吗？
Yeah, you ready?
说到邪恶，我得闪了
Speak of the devil. Gotta go.
派瑞，很高兴认识你
Perry, nice to have known you.
哈利-哈利，当然
Harry. Harry. Yes, of course.
纽约客哈利
Harry from New York.
我希望你不会因为今晚的经历对洛杉矶产生成见
I hope you don’t judge Los Angeles based solely on your experience tonight.
我有点害怕，派瑞
I’m kind of scared here, Perry.
艾力欧，饶了他吧
Aurelio, why don’t you give the kid a break?
别这样，现在是圣诞节呢
Do unto others and all that. It’s Christmas.
还有谁知道？-我什么都不知道
Who else knows? I don’t know anything.
我根本不是当地人，笨蛋
I’m not even from here, you fuck-up.
戴克斯特先生，棺木准备好了
Mr. Dexter, the coffin’s good to go.
好，把那个贱♥货♥烧了吧
Okay, let’s burn the bitch.
你可以射他的胸膛会比较简单一点
You could zap his chest. It’d be easier.
可是我们都知道你不得不做的事情
But we know why you gotta do it down there.
你喜欢看他的小♥弟♥弟♥，是不是？
You like looking at his johnson, don’t you?
承认吧，老兄，你就是忍♥不住
Admit it, dude, you got it in you.
够了！看着我的眼睛告诉我你没跟男人在一起过
Enough! Look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never been with a man.
去你♥妈♥的♥！干！-这就是你想要的，不是吗？
Fuck you, maricón! Fuck you! That’s what you want, isn’t it?
你想干我！-别帮倒忙，别帮倒忙了！
You want to fuck me. Stop helping. Stop helping.
如果你不是同志，就说嘛-干！
If you are not gay, just say so. Fuck you, maricón!
看看他，他说不出口！-别再帮倒忙了
Look at him. He can’t even say it. Stop helping!
等不及要收你这个病人了-我想也是
Can’t wait to have you as a patient. Bet you can’t.
这就是你要的-闭嘴！
This is what you want. Here. Shut up!
看啊，你想要吗？你看啊
Take a look. You want some of this right here? Look at this.
闭嘴！
Just shut up!
干得好！
Yeah!
同性恋才不看那里呢！
Homophobes never check there.
还好是真的枪我还以为同性恋…
Thank God you had a gun in there. I thought it was a gay thing…
真的可以那样耶，抱歉
…like somehow you guys could do that. Sorry.
还好吧？-不太好
Are you okay? Not really, no.
各位，我们赶快离开这里吧
Gentlemen, let’s wrap it up and get out of here.
谁要开车？-丢铜板决定吧
Who’s driving? I tell you what, I’ll flip you for it.
好
All right.
这里-该死！
This way, come on. Shit!
哈啰-嘿，哈梦妮，是我
Yeah. Hey, Harmony, it’s me.