碳排放只是个烟雾弹
The carbon emissions are a red herring
恐怕现在无论怎么补救
and we’re way past the point of no return
都是无济于事了
no matter what remedial actions we take.
你挺明白啊
You know your shit.
其实有时我还挺嫉妒那些
I sometimes envy the blissfully ignorance of those less,
对这个世界不是那么…
well versed in their…
明白的人
shit.
阿诺德教授常说
As Professor Arnold always said,
“人类是唯一一种
“Human kind is the only virus cursed
知道宿主经不起折腾的
to live with the horrifying knowledge of its host’s
可怜病毒”
fragile mortality.”
知道阿诺德教授的人可不多
You know, not a lot people knew about him.
您喜欢看间谍片吗 德维尔先生
You like spy movies, Mr. De Vere?
现代的间谍片我觉得太严肃了
Nowadays, they’re all a little serious, to my taste.
老片子更精彩
The old ones. Marvelous.
虽然剧情牵强夸张 但我看不厌
Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day.
邦德系列电影啊
The old Bond movies! Oh, man!
我小时候就梦想成为他
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
绅士间谍
Gentlemen spy.
我认为邦德系列里最出彩的还是反派
I always felt the old Bond film were only as good as the villain.
我小时候
As a child, I rather
倒是想做一个放眼未来的自大狂
fancied a future as a colourful meglaomaniac.
只可惜我们都得长大
What a shame we both had to grow up.
用餐愉快
Bon appétit.
给我几天时间来考虑您的提议
Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal,
然后我派人与您手下联♥系♥ 就没问题了
I’ll have my people get in touch with yours, and it’s all good.
也谢谢您的…欢乐餐
And thank you for such a…Happy Meal.
怎么样 要我跟踪他吗
Well? Want me to follow him?
用不着
Nah.
我在酒里下了微型追踪器
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
他接下来24小时做了什么我们都会知道
We’ll know his every move for the next 24 hours,
总算能知道他是谁的人了
and finally find out who he works for.
我一直没能离开瓦伦丁视线
Valentine didn’t let me out of his sight.
我只在进去的时候看到了这个
All I got was this on the way in.
南部林间教堂是肯塔基州的一个仇恨团体
South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky.
联调局已经监视他们好几年了
FBI had been monitoring them for years.
怎么 你觉得瓦伦丁支持他们吗
What, you think Valentine is a supporter?
目前还没有证据表明双方有联♥系♥
No evidence yet of direct connection,
不过我会继续查的
but I’ll keep looking.
啊对了
Oh, by the way.
那一长串失踪人口
Ever-growing list of missing persons
又多了个瑞典王室
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
蒂尔达女王储
The Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
快放我出去 你个疯子
Just let me out, you psycho!
我说了 你想什么时候出去都行
I told you, you’re free to go any time you want…
只要你答应我的条件
as long as you agree to my conditions.
我同意才怪
I don’t agree,
我死也不会同意
and I am never ever going to agree.
还嘴硬
Tough shit.
贱♥人♥
Bitch!
最近几周失踪的名流贵族
The list of missing celebirties and dignitaries
越来越多
has continued to grow in recently weeks,
社会各方均在给各国首脑施压
and world leaders are coming under increase pressure
要求他们给个答复
to provide answers.
我们正动用所有力量寻找蒂尔达王储
We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde.
世界各国的政♥府♥和情报部门
You know, governments and security forces worldwide
正通力合作 力图揪出绑♥架♥事件的幕后真凶
are working together to find the person behind these abductions.
免费上动♥*♥态♥*♥网♥
人人享有
永久畅享
另一条新闻 世界各地的人们
In other news, people all over the world
昼夜排队
continued to wait in line
领♥取♥免费的手♥机♥卡
day and night to get their free SIM cards.
-P夫人 你也领了一个 -是啊
– Mrs. P, you get one? – Yeah,
我排了一天的队
yeah, I’ve been queueing up all day.
这次史无前例的大赠送
This unprecedented give away
由慈善家里士满·瓦伦丁发起
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine
目前已送出超过十亿张手♥机♥卡
has already seen over a billion cards distributed…
坐着吧
At ease.
你们以为今天没事了吗
So you thought we were done for the day?
还没完
Well, we’re not.
-派对 -今晚 就在伦敦
-A party? – Tonight, in London.
-这是谁 -你的目标
– Who’s this? – Your target.
你们的任务就是使用谈话技巧
Your mission is to use your NLP training
把照片上的那个人抢到手
to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope.
不仅要到手 更要能上手
And when I say win over, I do mean in the biblical sense.
简单
Easy.
大小姐都喜欢玩硬的
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
看谁能到手咯 是不是
We’ll see about that, yeah?
看谁能到手咯
We certainly will.
抱歉 我实在忍♥不住想告诉你
Hi, sorry, I just have to come over and say,
好美的眼睛
amazing eyes.
你不会戴了美瞳了吧
Are you wearing colour contacts?
-当然没有 -怎么可能
– No! – You so are.
不是吧 他打♥压♥你 笑死人了
Oh, my God, negging, that’s hilarious,
这招还是世纪初的人用的吧
I haven’t heard anyone tried that since the Noughties.
-什么 -打♥压♥ 故意对美女
– Excuse me? – Negging, saying something negative
进行负面评价 降低她的社交价值
to a pretty girl, in order to undermine her social value.
目的就是激你赢取他的肯定
It’s supposed to make you want to win his approval.
小儿科的谈话操纵技巧而已
Absurdly basic neural linguistic programming technique.
是我的错觉吗 这香槟味道有点怪
Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny?
-是你不会品而已 -可能是因为不是好货
– It’s an acquired taste, mate. – I think it’s just cheap.
那就喝杯我这个 很好喝的
Get one of these instead, they’re delicious.
我跟你说 如果你打算
You know, if you’re into
研究勾引技巧的话 绝对要向这家伙学习
seduction techniques, this guy is text book.
瞧见他刚才怎么做的了吗 那叫起话头
See what he just did? It’s called an opinion openner.
用一个中性问题来让你开口
Got you talking with a neutral question.
让我们所有人都卷进对话里
Got the whole of us involved in the conversation,
好让你急于吸引他的注意力
so that you craved individual attention.
我只是说这酒喝着不太对
No, I’m just saying the champagne tastes wrong.
苏菲·蒙太古·哈灵女士 前台有您的电♥话♥
Lady Sophie Montague Harring, phone call for you at reception.
-我去去就回 -待会儿见
– Be right back. – We’ll see you in a little bit, yeah?
待会儿见
See you in a bit.
挪一挪 罗克茜 感觉太生硬了
Budge up, Rox. Feeling a bit rough.
-你还好吗 -不好
– You all right? – No.
抱歉偷听到你们谈话
Sorry to eavesdrop,
不过想让人跟你回家
but you know there’s a much
还有个简单得多的办法
easier way to guarantee getting someone home.
比如迷♥药♥
Rohypnol.
或者药效更强的
Or even something stronger.
你♥他♥妈♥谁啊
Who the fuck are you?
我在哪
Where am I?
这把刀 能救你的命
This knife can save your life.
-操 -我的雇主有两个问题 艾格西
– Fuck. – My employer’s got two questions for you, Eggsy.
王牌特工是什么鬼 谁是哈利·哈特
What the fuck is Kingsman, and who’s Harry Hart?
我不知道你说的是谁 该死
I don’t know what the fuck that is. Shit.
艾格西 我刚刚
Eggsy, I just killed two of
处决了你的两个朋友 他们全都是这套屁话
your friends who give me the same bullshit answer.
我♥操♥ 快他妈把绳子切断 求你了
Fuck. Just cut the fucking ropes, please.
艾格西 王牌特工真值得你送死吗
Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you!
恭喜 做得真漂亮
Congratulations. Bloody well done.
其他人怎么样
How the others do?
罗克茜完美过关 下一个该查理了
Roxy passed with flying colours, Charlie’s up next.
-想看看吗 -当然
– Wanna watch? – Yeah. All right.
王牌特工真值得你送死吗
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
值得才怪 我全都告诉你 求你了
No, it fucking isn’t! Shit, I’ll tell you what you want, please.
切斯特·金是亚瑟
Chester King is Arthur.
亚瑟是名为王牌特工的特工组织的头目
Arthur is the head of a spy agency and it’s called Kingsman.
-快放开我 -多谢你查理 万分感谢
– Get me out of here. – Thank you Charlie. Much appreciated.
不 你说话不算数
No! That wasn’t the fucking deal.
我还对你寄予厚望