杀死波诺（2011）

失陪 我们现在有点忙
Now, if you’ll excuse me? We are kind of busy at the moment.
会后再联♥系♥
Might catch you at the party later.
好 一定把我放到宾客名单上
Yeah, be sure and put me on the list.
请出示通行证
Can I see your pass, please?
《沸点》杂♥志♥ 加里·哈根 有人说你们正在成为
Gary Hagan, Hot Press. Some people say you’re on your way to becoming
-下个全球最大的摇滚明星 -加里 这我可不好说
-the biggest rock star on the planet. -I wouldn’t say that, Gary.
我是说 我只有1米75 还是戴着帽子量的
I mean, I’m only five foot nine and that’s with the hat.
你要写就写吧 我不介意
If you want to print it. Feel free, I’ll read it.
我觉得这有点搞笑 总有人说
You know it makes me laugh, I mean… You hear a lot of people saying U2
U2会成为下个什么什么
they’re going to be the next this, the next that.
这些期望都发生在『无法忘记的火焰』发行后
There was all this expectation after The Unforgettable Fire.
对不起
-Excuse me. -Yeah?
请问哪儿能找到波诺
Can you tell me where I can find Bono?
波诺 波诺
Bono? Bono.
貌似这没人叫这名字 先生 没有
No, there doesn’t seem to be anyone here by that name, sir. No.
除了那个波诺之外
Oh, except for that Bono.
-就是那个 -伊万·麦考密克 过来
-Yeah, that Bono. -Ivan McCormick, come here.
保罗 你好么
Hey, Paul! How are ya?
浪子回家了
The prodigal son returns.
普拉格 谢天谢地是你
Plugger. Thank God that’s you.
我们问过U2的管♥理♥员♥吉米·奥马哈尼了
We just spoke with Jimmy O’Mahoney. U2’s roadie.
-啥 -对
-What? -Yeah.
他根本没听说你要跟他们合演 你这个败类
He’s heard no talk of you playing with them, you bollix.
进车里去
Get in the bastard car.
你来开车
Ah, ah, ah, ah! You’re driving.
我就坐你后面 和我的小朋友一起
I’ll be right behind you with me little friend here.
别耍花招
And no funny shite.
麦金先生某种程度上很喜欢你 知道么
Mr. Machin does sort of like you, you know?
-松了口气 -对喜欢的人下手往往比较难
-Well, that’s a relief. -It’s always harder when you like ’em.
啥 啥比较难
What? Wait, what’s harder?
我们认为你会成为另一个波诺 我们都对你寄予厚望
We thought you were gonna be another Bono. You had us all going there.
我自己也是
Yeah. I had myself going.
我和麦克吉尼斯谈过了 他说他看起来很糟
I spoke to McGuiness. He said he looked pretty rough.
我没想到事情会变这么糟 可能他终于疯了
I’d no idea it’d got so bad. Maybe he finally flipped?
一直都有这个可能 如果告诉你原委
It’s been on the cards. And to tell you the truth?
你也许能做点什么
You might have had something to do with it.
每个人都想成为摇滚明星 对么
Everyone wants to be a rock star, right?
回到上学的时候 如果你告诉我我们四个
Back at school, if you’d have told me that four of us
会成为全球最出名的摇滚乐队
would become the biggest rock band on the planet,
我会问其他三个人是谁
I’d have asked who the other three were.
你一直都是自大狂
You always were a cocky fucker.
到处都是你
You’re everywhere.
杂♥志♥ 海报 唱片 颁奖礼
The press, the posters and the albums and awards.
所有的广♥告♥牌和限♥量♥版瓷器上都是你的脸
And your face on every billboard and limited edition china ware.
波诺茶具 这小东西挺挣钱的
It’s a good little earner, the Bono tea set.
我觉得人们喜欢摔碎它
I think people like to smash it up.
我们要用音乐征服世界
We were going to take on the world with our music.
我们一旦去做就没人能阻止我们
Sure, when we got going there’d be no fucking stopping us.
但你现在还有自己的事情要做
But you’ve got your own thing going on.
你现在不会还为没进入乐队痛心吧
You’re not still sore about not being in the band?
没有 我已经没事了
No, no. I’m fine about that.
我每天都在感谢上苍我没有加入你的乐队
Not a day goes by when I don’t thank my lucky stars I’m not in your band.
当你最好的朋友成为你最大的对手时你会怎么做
What do you do when your best friends become your greatest rivals?
我该怎么做 眼睁睁地
What was I supposed to do? Just… just lie down
让我的弟弟被竞争对手挖走么 没门
and let my little brother get snapped up by the competition? No, no.
尼尔没让你加入我们 我不怪他
Well, Neil wouldn’t let me have you. And I don’t blame him.
我是说 如果你是我的弟弟 我也不会让你加入
I mean, if you were my brother I wouldn’t have let you join
-别的稀烂的小乐队 -才不 你们是U2
-some other shitty garage band. -Oh, shit. You were U2.
当时我们不知道啊 没人能料到
We didn’t know that. None of us did.
另外我们确实很稀烂
-And we were pretty shitty. -Yeah.
我都规划好了 组一个乐队
I had it all planned out. Form a band.
如果给你次机会 你真的会选我们而不是他么
Given the choice, would you really have picked us over him?
发行一系列开天辟地的唱片
Release a series of ground-breaking albums.
我想我会说是
I’d wanna say, yes.
在全世界最棒的体育场巡演
Tour the world’s greatest stadiums.
但是你做得到么 选择我们 而不是你亲兄弟
But could you… have picked us over your own brother?
掀起自披头士以来最大的摇滚风潮席卷美国
Pull off the biggest rock and roll invasion of America since the Beatles.
这曾是我的人生 近在眼前 我要做的就是等待一切到来
This was my life. Just waiting to happen and all I had to do was live it.
除了一个问题
There was just one problem.
那个人
Him.
如果你有问题 为什么不去解决它
Well, if you’ve got a problem, why don’t you just do something about it?
是么 说啥
Oh, yeah? What?
我该做什么去解决它
What, what? What should I do about it?
你眼睛看路行么
Will you keep your eyes on the road?
这是
Hey, is that the…
尼尔Neil!
尼尔！尼尔Neil! Neil!
听着 你们周六不能来当嘉宾很可惜
Look, it’s just a shame you can’t support us on Saturday.
说啥
What?
我们给了你们一个嘉宾名额 你们说不行
We offered you a support slot, you said no.
什么
What?
-他没跟你说 -他没跟我说
-He didn’t tell you? -No. He didn’t tell me.
你能在法庭上再说一遍么
Would you be willing to repeat this in a court of law?
作为辩护证词
On behalf of the defence?
-为谁辩护 -我
-Whose defence? -Mine.
因为我要杀了他
Because I’m going to bleeding murder him.
好 我想我们到了 你准备好了么
OK, I guess this is it. Are you ready?
-为我15秒钟的荣光 -够你一辈子了受的
-For my 15 seconds of fame? -Enough to put you off forever.
给我让开！你让开 马上
Get out of me fucking way. You out of the way, now. Come on.
波诺 波诺
Bono. Bono.
尼尔·麦考密克 我是乐队的朋友
Neil McCormick. I’m a friend of the band’s.
我应该在客人的名单里
I should be under Paul McGuinness’s list.
-好的 请进 -谢谢
-OK, go straight in. -Thanks.
尼尔 你在TMD干嘛
Neil. What the fuck are you doing?
伊万
Ivan.
你在这干嘛 你应该去巡演了
What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on tour.
我知道 我为你回来的 你这个傻B
Yeah, I know. I came back for you, you dickhead.
-是么 -是的 但是
-Yeah? -Yeah, but…
我真傻 因为 你脸怎么了
…I’m an idiot because… What happened to your face?
算了 因为我发现了关于U2演出的事情
Never mind. Because I found out about the U2 gig.
-哦 -哦个屁
-Oh. -Oh.
你拒绝了U2 尼尔 再一次
You turned down U2, Neil. Again.
代表了我 再一次 瞒着我
On my behalf, again, without telling me.
再一次
Again.
我只想靠我们自己
I just wanted us to do it on our own.
为什么我们做的任何事情总是要跟他们扯上关系呢
Why does everything that we ever do always have to come back to them?
这像个天大的蠢笑话
It’s like some sick cosmic joke!
听到这歌♥了么 我是说 他这是在装B么
Have you heard this song? I mean, is he taking the piss now or what?
“他还没找到他想要的东西” 他得到了他想要的一切
He still hasn’t found what he’s looking for. He’s got everything he ever wanted.
不是 他得到了你想要的一切
No, he’s got everything that you ever wanted.
你咋知道他想要什么
How do you know what he wants?
我是说 你总唠唠叨叨 就像他是个你没法塞回瓶子的
I mean, you’re going on about him like he’s a fifty foot, singing genie
巨大的歌♥唱精灵 但不是
that you can’t shove back in the bottle. No!
他是波诺
He’s Bono.
他是长大了的保罗·休森（波诺原名） 你得放下这一切
He’s just Paul Hewson grown up. And you need to get over it,
给我振作起来
and get yourself to-fucking-gether,
这样我们才能参加演出 抢他们的风头
so we can play this gig and steal their thunder.
没可能了 我跟麦吉尼斯谈过了 参演取消了
It’s not happening. I spoke to McGuinness. The gig is off.
我跟波诺说 我们会参加
Well, I told Bono that we’d do it.
什么
What?
即便你又一次耍混♥蛋♥了
Even though you’ve bollocksed it up again,
而且可能根本不配
and probably don’t deserve it,
但演出恢复了
it is on.
你要做的就是唱歌♥
All you got to do is sing, man.
轻松之极 就像回到学生时代
It’s four numbers. Just like back at school.
我们要给U2当嘉宾了
We’re supporting U2!
我们要给U2当嘉宾
We’re supporting U…
了
…2.
-这TMD什么玩意 -别管了 没事
-What the fuck is that? -Just leave it, never mind.
什么叫没事 有把武器
What do you mean, never mind? There was a firearm
塞在你的裤裆里
shoved down the front of your trousers.