海扁王（2010）

So, how are things going with Katie?
还算顺利
Oh, just peachy.
我们通宵未睡
We had a sleepover and spent the whole night…
看完了《丑女贝蒂》 还做了足疗
…watching the entire ‘Ugly Betty’ box set and did pedicures.
我告诉你 这事拖得越久越糟
I’m telling you, the, the longer you wait, the worse it’s gonna get.
我知道 我会告诉她的 只是她一直这么开心
I know. I was gonna tell her. She seemed so happy.
-找不到合适的时机 -你的机会来了
– I don’t know when’s the right time. – Well, now’s your chance.
-她没看到吧 -好啊 伙计们
– She didn’t see that, did she? – Hey, guys.
-好啊 -你好
– Hi. – Hi, sweet.
你们看电视新闻了吗 那个新超级英雄
Did you watch the TV? The new superhero guy?
多酷啊
How cool is that?
什么新闻
What?
-看啊 -能把声音调大点吗
– Hey, look. – Could you turn it up, please?
看吧
Check this out.
不再袖手旁观 这位自称红旋风的人士
Far from being put off, this individual, who calls himself Red Mist…
决定将打击犯罪提升到新的高度
…has decided to take crime fighting to a new level…
他昨晚的行动证明了这一点
…as his actions last night proved.
-红旋风 你怎么看 -我觉得大家都受够了担惊受怕
– Red Mist, how do you see it? – Folks have had enough of living in fear..
而海扁王证明了个人也可以成大事
…and Kick-Ass proved that one individual can make a difference.
如果有人需要帮助 我会全天候打击犯罪
So if anyone out there needs help, I’ll be fighting crime 25/8.
只要点击红旋风网站就可以
And I’m just one click away. Red Mist. Org.
能关了吗
Can we turn that off now?
那家伙有什么神的
What’s so special about that guy?
他抓住了一个毒贩 是一级通缉犯
He caught a drug dealer. Some most wanted guy.
-你看他把一大堆缴获的东西拿出来 -真酷
– You saw him bring out a ton of stuff. – That’s pretty cool.
对啊 比海扁王的装扮更酷
Yeah, he’s got a way better costume than Kick-Ass, too.
-他还穿了斗篷 -是啊
– He’s got a cape. – Yeah.
斗篷最赞了
Capes rock.
我觉得斗篷不错 看着不赖
I’m kinda feeling the cape. Looks good.
什么 你觉得那家伙比海扁王更好吗
What, better than Kick-Ass?
他俩都挺帅的 但我觉得红旋风的身材更好
They’re both kinda hot. I just think Red Mist has a better body.
你觉得呢 戴夫
Don’t you think, Dave?
是啊 戴夫
Yeah, Dave, what do you think? Is that the…
你不就喜欢这种人吗 一身皮衣
…is he the kinda guy you’d go for, with the, all that leather?
不 小马 我不喜欢这一型
No, Marty, he’s not really my type.
约个时间地点 咱出来聚聚吧
红旋风
海扁王
Kick-Ass.
红旋风
Red Mist.
该死 真疼
Oh, shit. Fuck me, that kinda hurt.
-你没事吧 -我没事
– Are you okay? – Yeah. No, I’m cool.
我不敢相信能见到本尊 老兄 你是我的大英雄
I can’t believe you’re here, man. Like, you’re my hero.
你激励了我 说真的 没有海扁王就没有红旋风
You inspired me. No Kick-Ass, no Red Mist. Seriously.
是吗
Wow. Hey, really?
一点不假 听着 如果你…
Straight up. And listen, if you…
要我做你助手啥的…
…wanted me to be your sidekick or something…
你想做我助手吗
You wanna be my sidekick?
当然 你我联手 所向披靡
Yeah, man. You and me together, we would own.
你想去打击犯罪吗
You wanna go fight some crime?
你说现在吗
Oh, what you mean like right now?
是啊 来吧 我有东西给你看
Yeah, man. Come on, I got something I wanna show you.
实话告诉你
Er, I mean, like to be honest with you,
我只在每周日晚九点到两点打击犯罪
I only ever fight crime between like 9 and 2 weekdays.
所以我们就快点完事
So I’m gonna need to get back pretty soon.
赞
Sweet.
-这是你的吗 -见识下”云雾战车”吧
– Is that yours? – Meet the Mist Mobilee.
我的iPhone能自动导航 所以能边开车
Satnav got my iPhone so I can check the websites for emergencies
边查看网站上的紧急情况
When we’re driving around.
还能来点灯光应应景
Got a little bit of mood lighting right there.
有后视镜 没什么大不了
Rear-view camera. No big deal.
看看这个 包你爱不释手
Check this. You’re gonna fucking love this.
雾来咯
The mist.
没错 我们是超级英雄 爱戴我们吧
That’s right, we’re superheroes, love us.
-抽烟吗 -不抽
– Smoke? – No.
巡逻的时候 来点烟草能壮壮胆
I feel a little weed takes the edge off things when I’m on patrol,
知道吗
You know.
面对一大堆人群 还真有点害怕 你觉得呢
Going up against a crowd can get kinda scary, don’t you think?
怎么了
Something wrong?
你和我想象的完全不同
You’re so not how I expected.
我从一个女孩那儿收到一封邮件
I got this e-mail from this chick.
说有人总在上下班时尾随她
She said this guy’s been following her home from work.
我有地址 想探探情况吗
I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?
-好啊 何不呢 -酷
– Sure. Why not? – Cool.
我们一♥丝♥不♥挂♥地坐在那里
So, we’re sitting there totally naked, right?
我告诉她 坐在我膝盖上
So I told her, “sit on my lap,
我们再谈谈是啥玩意先出来
We’ll talk about the first thing that comes up”.
-怎么 -刚收到短♥信♥ 他在路上了
– Yeah? – Just got the text. He’s on his way.
很好
He did very good.
-在我到之前留他活口 -好
– Don’t kill him till I get there. – Right.
看来钻研漫画终于有收获了吧
Looks like reading all them comics paid off, huh?
你儿子干得不错 阿弗
Your boy did good, Frankie.
虎父焉有犬子
He’s his father’s son.
你你你你你以为
Come on now who do you
你你你你你以为
Who do you who do you
你以为自己是谁
Who do you think you are?
祈求上帝保佑你
Bless your soul
差点忘了
Oh… I forgot.
你一准是疯了
I think you’re crazy
你一准是疯了
I think you’re crazy
你一准是疯了
I think you’re crazy
就如同我一样
Just like me
我的英雄啊 陷入孤立无援也在所不惜
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
搞什么鬼
What the fuck?!
我♥操♥
Oh, shit.
-你要干什么 -里面还有人
– Hey, what are you doing? – There are people in there!
好吧 我们应该打电♥话♥报…
Yeah. Sh-shouldn’t we call the fire…
见鬼
Shit!
小迈
Mikey!
我靠
Fuck.
-真♥他♥妈♥见鬼 -红旋风
– Shit. Fuck. – Red Mist!
红旋风
Red Mist!
听得到吗
Hey, man, can you hear me?
老天
Oh, jeez.
红旋风
Red Mist!
红旋风 你到底在哪里
Red Mist! Where the fuck are you?!
我们得快逃出去 赶紧走
We gotta get the hell outta here. Dude, move your fucking ass!
该死
Holy shit.
-你看到尸体了吗 -看到了
– Did you see those bodies? – Yeah, man.
-你干嘛救个泰迪熊 -啥
– Why did you save the teddy? – What?
我也不知道 老兄 快走吧
I don’t know, man. Come on.
进来
Come.
弗兰克 你♥他♥妈♥搞什么
What the hell are you doing, Frank?
我不能来这儿 万一被人看到怎么办
You know I can’t be here. What if somebody saw me?
那个混账海扁王烧了我的仓库 还干掉了我的人
That motherfucker Kick-Ass burnt down my warehouse and killed my men,
希甘特
Gigante.
等下 说慢点 你确定是海扁王吗
Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Kick-Ass? Are you sure?
你得帮我 我儿子也在里面 还下落不明
You gotta help me, vic. My son was there and he’s still missing.
他们都死了
They’re all dead!
仓库里的所有人都死了
Everybody in the warehouse is dead.
-放下枪 维克 那是克里斯 -克里斯是红旋风吗
– Put the gun down, Vic, it’s Chris. – Chris is Red Mist?
红旋风不用你操心 你该操心海扁王
It’s not Red Mist you gotta worry about. It’s Kick-Ass.
不不不 海扁王就是个宅男 老爸
No, no, no, it’s not. Kick-Ass is just some geek, dad.
你不用在意他 你得看看这个
You don’t have to worry about him. You need to watch this.
-这是什么玩意 -你搞笑吧
– Why, what does it do? – Are you fucking kidding me?
啥
What?
真♥他♥妈♥见鬼 坐下就是
God-damn it, just sit down.
你做什么 那到底是什么东西
What are you doing? What the hell is that thing?
你在我小时候买♥♥的 用来监视保姆
You bought this to spy on the nanny when I was a kid.
忘了吗
Don’t you remember?
-你放在仓库了吗 -对
– And you put it in the warehouse? – Yeah.
我觉得把海扁王的真面目放到网上肯定很酷
I thought it’d be cool to put the unmasking of Kick-Ass on the internet.
仔细看