海扁王（2010）

你♥他♥妈♥是什么东西 蔬菜套套吗
Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The green condom?
小鬼 离万圣节还有几个月呢
You know it ain’t halloween for another few months, kid?
我是来找拉苏尔的
I’m here to see Rasul.
你谁啊
Who the fuck are you?
我是海…我是凯蒂的朋友
I’m Ki… I’m a friend of Katie’s.
现在的小屁孩都这副德行
Kids nowadays in their tights.
那个 你们谁是拉苏尔啊
So, which one of you guys is Rasul?
我就是拉苏尔 认不出我的大胸吗
I’m Rasul. Can’t you tell by my big titties?
你谁呀 玩万圣节把戏吗
What is this? Trick or treat or something?
见鬼 我死了
Fuck. Now I’m dead.
我给拉苏尔带个信 关于凯蒂·多玛的事
I’ve a message for Rasul about Katie Deauxma.
凯蒂
Katie?
这么说 你是拉苏尔咯
Oh, you’re Rasul?
你得离凯蒂远一点 都结束了
Okay. You gotta stay away from Katie now. It’s over.
别再纠缠她了 一切都会相安无事
So if you just leave her alone everything will be fine.
说什么呢
What?
小鬼 你以为你是谁啊
Yo, kid. Who the hell are you?
你这什么行头
And what is this?
我是海扁王 别小看我
I’m Kick-Ass. Look me up.
就是我在给你传话 别再缠着凯蒂
And this is me giving you a message. Leave Katie alone.
不然怎样
Or what?
不然 我就会回来
Or… I’ll come back…
打断你的贱腿
…and break your fucking legs.
我不逃也不躲 来吧
I’m right here now, baby.
我♥操♥
Fuck!
抓住他
Hold him.
你♥他♥妈♥死定了 小子
You are so fucking dead, man.
好了 婊♥子♥们 让姑奶奶瞧瞧你们的能耐
Okay, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now.
一二三四五
Eeny, meeny…
上山打老虎
…miny, mo.
搞什么
What the fuck?!
我也有一把哟
Hey, I got one of those.
来吧
Come on.
这么说你想玩咯
So you wanna play.
搞毛
What the fuck?
老兄 居然用电击枪 太娘了吧
Oh, dude, that is one gay-looking taser.
别紧张 我们是一伙的
Relax, we’re on the same team.
起来吧
Hey, get up.
超杀女 永远别忘记 背要朝向哪儿
Now, hit girl, we always keep our backs where?
朝向墙 爸爸 我知道 下不为例
To the wall, daddy, I know. It won’t happen again.
-对了 枪法真准 -谢谢
– Nice shot, by the way. – Thank you.
我们走吧
Let’s go.
傻子 不能走前门
Hey, asshole, you can’t use the front door now.
等一下
Wait, wait, wait.
什么
What?
你是谁
Who are you?
我吗
Me?
我是超杀女
I’m Hit Girl.
那是大老爸
Big Daddy.
快来
Come on.
过来呀
Come on!
超杀女和大老爸
Hit girl and Big Daddy.
他们才是真英雄
They were the real deal.
而我呢
Me?
就一个穿潜水服的傻帽
I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit.
这是什么 这到底是什么
What is this? What am I looking at here?
是萨尔的手♥机♥ 在他手里发现的
It was Sal’s phone. They found it in his hand.
应该是他在死前拍下
He must have taken that right before he died.
我知道这很扯淡 阿弗 但是那照片里的家伙
I know this sounds fucked-up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture…
应该就是电视上的那个超级英雄
…I think it’s that superhero nut job from the TV.
谁
Who?
海扁王
Kick-Ass?
就他一个人
One guy?
等等 你是说 他一人一晚上杀了我的八个人
Hold on, you’re telling me one guy killed 8 of my men tonight?
萨尔那儿的八个 拉苏尔那边是四个
8 at Sal’s place. 4 at that kid Rasul’s.
那我们街上的生意都砸了吗
We have no merchandise on the street at all?
对
Right.
-真的就他一个吗 -我觉得是
– One guy? – I think.
如果这是真的 那我们岂不成了纽约最大的冤大头
If you’re right, we’ll look like the biggest pussies in new york.
您有何吩咐
What do you want me to do?
我要你马上给我送上那傻♥逼♥海扁王的人头
I want Kick-Ass’s fucking head on a stick, and I want it now.
我发誓 我没对任何人说过
I didn’t say anything to anyone, I swear.
不错嘛 挨扁王 继续保持
Good move, Ass… Kick. Let’s keep it that way.
认识这玩意吧
You know what this is?
这是你的娘们电击枪
It’s all the cartridge crap that comes
留下来的弹夹
Out of your gay little taser when you fire it.
你该知道警♥察♥发现后
You do know the police could have traced
会立刻展开追查吧
This right back to you if they’d found it?
算你走运 我捡起来了
But lucky for you… I picked it up.
谢谢
Thank you.
保险起见还是我们拿着吧 也好让我们信任你
Let’s call it insurance. Makes it easier for us to take your word.
听着 我们喜欢你 但是不信任你
See, we like you, but we don’t trust you.
对事不对人 我们谁都不信
Don’t take it personal. We don’t trust anybody.
我变更了你的IP地址
I re-routed your IP address.
不然他们能轻易找到你
Finding you was way too easy.
该死 我怎么没想到 天啊
Oh, shit. Shit, I hadn’t thought. My god.
我欠你们的
I, I owe you.
我正打算关闭我的网站
I’m thinking of shutting my site down anyway.
我是说我不干了 这太疯狂了
Quitting. I mean, this is… it’s fucking insane.
真是超出我的想像
I’m in way over my head.
真可惜 你很有潜质
It’s a shame. You have potential.
由你决定 如有需要 我们一直在你身边
Your call. But you know we’re around if you need us.
我怎么联♥系♥你们
How do I get a hold of you?
你只需联♥系♥市长办公室
You just contact the mayor’s office.
他会向天空投射信♥号♥♥
He has a special signal he shines in the sky.
是个巨大老二的形状
In the shape of a giant cock.
需要我们的话 就在网站上写”度假中” 我们会找到你
You need us, put on your website you’re on vacation. We’ll find you.
超杀女 返回总部
Hit girl, back to headquarters.
好梦
Sweet dreams.
我要你做掉海扁王
I need you to get rid of Kick-Ass.
-怎么了 -什么怎么了
– Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s up? – What’s up?
海扁王在毁掉我的生意 希甘特
Kick-Ass is killing my men, gigante, that’s what’s up.
我很遗憾 弗兰克
My condolences, Frank.
但这次恐怕我帮不了你
But I’m afraid I can’t help you on this one.
-这有点超出我的职权范围了 -你说什么
– Little bit outside my jurisdiction. – Outside your jurisdiction?
你♥他♥妈♥的不是警♥察♥吗 他这是在干违法勾当
You’re a fucking cop and he’s breaking the law.
这事不该你管他妈的该谁管
That’s so inside it’s ball-deep in your jurisdiction’s ass.
听我说
Listen to me.
我拿工资抓坏人 你则贿赂我不要抓坏人
The cops pay me to nail the bad guys. You pay me not to.
-其它都是灰色地带的事 -滚你♥妈♥的♥ 照做就是
– Everything else is in the grey area. – Fuck you very much. Just do it.
明白吗
Okay.
真♥他♥妈♥难以置信
Un-fucking-believable.
柯迪人呢 他迟到了
Where’s Cody? He’s late.
谢谢 柯迪 感谢你的合作
Thank you, Cody. We appreciate your co-operation.
能放我走了吗
Let me out now?
我把名字和地址都给你们了
I gave you all them names and addresses.
我不会和任何人说的
Hey, I won’t say nothing to nobody.
你和你的矮个朋友去随心所欲打击邪恶吧
You and your crazy midget friend can go bash whoever you want.
拜托
Hey, come on.
我认识一些城里的坏蛋 坏到极点了
Hey, I know some very bad people up town. Really nasty individuals.
放我走吧 求你了
Let me go. Hey, come on.
别这样 你们别这样 求你了
Hey, hey, don’t do this. You don’t need to do this. Come on.
求你们了
Please. Hey.
拜托 不要
Come on, no, no…
不要 求求你们
No, no, no! come on, please!
你们疯了
Hey, you’re crazy. Please!
真是个废渣
What a douche.
你之前也涂过护肤霜吧
You have done self tan before, right?
没错 家常便饭
Yeah, like, I do it all the time.
谋杀 超级英雄夜闯卧室
Murder, superheroes breaking into my bedroom.