随波逐流

她一问我 我差点裤子里都出来德芙琳了
“What’s her name?” I got panicked.
她一问”她的名字叫什么” 我立马就慌了
I get nervous around this girl.
在她面前我很紧张
You got panicked?
你还会慌
You who invents a fake wife every Friday night?
你都胆大到每周五晚搞个假老婆了
Yeah. Doesn’t that say something
不过这不正说明了
about what I feel about this girl?
我对这个女孩有好感吗
Have you ever thought about the time
你难道就没想过
that she’s actually gonna walk into your office…
要是她真来你办公室
…and sees that I’m your assistant receptionist?
然后看到我是你的助理兼接待 她会怎么想
So easy. I’m a plastic surgeon,
你就放心吧 我可是整形医生
you will never look like you again.
你以后就不长这个样了
Snip, snap. Chip, chap. What are you talking about?
剪剪剪 咔嚓 你乱说什么啊
I’m kidding. I’ll get you a fake mustache.
开个玩笑嘛 给你弄个假胡子
Oh, my God, you’ve really, really not thought this through.
天啊 你压根什么都没想好
Will you please just look at some clothes?
你就不能好好挑挑衣服
Look at that. I don’t wear…
你看那个 我不穿那种
I have clothes, by the way.
另外 我自己有衣服
I do not need to do any of this. I’m fine.
我才不需要这些呢 我这样已经很好了
Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells.
是是是 老海军里最好的都穿你身上了
I’m just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon’s wife.
但你得有整形医生老婆的范啊
I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife.
我得让人觉得我有个性感的老婆
You’re so… Not this!
你怎么这么 反正不是你这样的
Okay, come on, let’s go, you asked for it.
行 那就走吧 这可是你自找的
I’m ready.
我准备好了
Wow! These are… Oh, geez.
这鞋也太… 天啊
Nice, nice.
不错 很不错
It’s just been a while since I’ve been in heels, sorry.
不好意思 我只是很久没穿高跟鞋了
Get there. Yeah, great.
去那照照看 很不错
Oh, my God! These are gorgeous!
天啊 太美了
How much are these? $1,700.
多少钱 一千七百美元
$1,700? What, do you come with them?
一千七百美元能把你也一起买了
My parents’ house costs $1,700.
我爸妈的房子也才花了一千七百美元
No, no.
不要了 不要了
No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those?
不买了 难不成米奇·曼托还在上面签名了
Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda?
居然要一千七百美元 它们是熊猫做的啊
Walk away. Yeah. You know what?
走了走了 好吧 好吧
We won’t really be needing them anyway.
本来也不是非要买这个
‘Cause I’m actually starting to…
我都开始觉得…
I’m actually starting to feel not so hot. Is it warm in here?
我开始觉得不那么性感了 这里是不是开暖气了
Whoo. I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it this evening.
我都不确定今晚我能不能做到啊
Very good. Okay, you know what? We’ll take them.
好得很 行了 你猜怎么着 我们买下了
It’s your Christmas bonus. Oh, really?
用的可是你的圣诞奖金 这样啊
Okay, then I would like them in blue, too.
那好 那双蓝色的我也要了
In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle.
坏了还有双能换 买来抱着睡觉也行
It’s beautiful.
它们很美
You sicken me.
你要惹恼我了
Yes, well, that’s why we’re getting a divorce.
我们不就因为这离婚的吗
We’re getting a divorce
我们之所以离婚
because you’re greedy, schemy and selfish.
是因为你变得贪婪 阴险和自私
Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too.
说实话 我觉得你应该再去挑个包搭配一下
Yeah, I think I should.
我也这么想的
Thank you, Laurie. I agree.
劳瑞 谢了 我完全同意
All the girls are sticking together. Isn’t that sweet?
姑娘们开始帮忙了 真贴心啊
She’s on your side, what a shock.
她和你一伙的 太让我吃惊了
You asked for this. Trust me.
相信我 这是你自找的
You asked for this.
这也是你自找的
No.
不行
No.
不行
Hell, no! No, no, no!
天啊 不行 不行 不行
What do you mean, no?
你到底说什么不行啊
No? No what?
不行 什么不行
No hope. Okay? There’s only one word for it.
没戏了 是吧 只有一个词可以形容它
What is it? Neglect.
什么词 忽略它
Okay? This is the one word
明白吧 只剩这词
for the whole thing.
可以来总结这事
Are you the husband?
你是她老公
I’m the soon to be ex husband.
很快就是前夫了
We’re getting a divorce.
我们要离婚了
Well, you know he’s not divorcing you.
你要知道 他不是和你离婚
He’s divorcing your head.
他是和你的头发离婚
True ‘dat, Ernesto. Right on the money.
真理啊 厄尼斯托 完全正确
Your hair is so messed up, I don’t even…
你的头发一团糟 我甚至…
Let me count the ways.
我来数数到底怎么个糟法
It’s dull, it’s dead, it’s flat.
又土 又杂 还蠢
Don’t forget smelly.
还没算那气味呢
It don’t smell, particularly…
尤其是 它压根闻不得
Okay, I think we got it.
得了 我知道了
You bad.
你太邪恶了
You is bad. Give me a little bit.
你太邪恶了 把邪恶分我点吧
That’s bad, though.
那实在是太邪恶了
You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please
喂 臭男人 严肃点 厄尼斯托
do something, so we can be home
快点动手 我还想回家呢
and I can get out of here?
我想离开这呢
Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby.
卡特里娜飓风可以搞定它的
I’m gonna do something transcendent.
我要做点与众不同的事
Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins!
凯特雅 由里 华金森太太
We going in deep, y’all.
我们要干活了 全都过来
You seem nervous, Danny.
丹尼 你好像很紧张
No, no, I just…
没有 我只是…
It’s weird, she gets me very tense.
这太怪了 我居然会因为她紧张
I’m sorry to put you through this.
真对不起 让你这么痛苦
No, I understand why we’re doing this.
没事 我能理解你这样做
I’m just looking forward to getting past this part of my life
我就想告别过去
and moving on to the good part.
展望未来
We will. Soon. Tonight.
会的 很快 今晚就行
Good God, yes.
天啊 太好了
Is that her?
那就是她吗
I think so.
我想是的
She’s stunning.
美呆了
I love her shoes.
我喜欢她的鞋
Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them.
她有五双这样的
Maybe she’ll give you one.
你可以跟她要一双
Henderson!
亨德森
Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this…
你有没在这附近看到麦卡比医生…
Oh! There he is.
他在那呢
Keep the car running, shan’t be long.
车别熄 我马上就来
Hello, boring!
你好啊 无聊男
Hey. You went with a limo driver?
你还租了辆豪华轿车来
I’m just playing the part.
演戏要演全套嘛
Okay.
那好
Palmer! Hi.
帕莫尔 你好呀
Devlin Maccabee.Soon to be, single abee.
我是德芙琳 麦卡比 但很快就单身了
Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?
服务员 有人吗
Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam?
这里 想要喝点什么吗 夫人
Well, hello.
你好啊
I would like a tall glass of you.
我把你能喝了吗
Is that possible? Meow!
这样行不 喵
I’m just kidding. Unless you’re really into it.
开个玩笑 除非你喜欢这样
Kidding again. No, I’m not.
还是玩笑 不 没开玩笑呢
We don’t know. Grey Goose martinis,
谁知道呢 来杯灰鹅马提尼吧
just keep ’em coming.
快点
Okay.
好的
Make that a dirty martini. Okay?
做杯黄一点的马提尼 知道吗
Okay, that was a good one.
好的 那个很不错
Well, so, Palmer.
帕莫尔
I heard you and Danny had sex.
我听说你和丹尼上床了
Yes. I am so sorry, I had…
是的 我很抱歉 我…
Please, honey, it is fine.
亲爱的 没关系的
I’m just happy to hear
我很欣慰的是
that his thing a ding can still ring a ding.