只是朋友 Just Friends（2005）

See ya!
再见了，肥佬！
G’bye, fatty!
克里斯！
Chris!
吃沙拉吧！
Try a salad!
克里斯！ -别理我！
Chris! -Leave me alone!
别担心，谁都会出这种事
Don’t worry about it. It happens to everybody.
克里斯！我们得谈谈你写的东西
Chris! We need to talk about what you wrote.
这是你的真实感受？
Is that really how you feel?
我不知道，或许，怎么了？
I don’t know. Maybe. Why?
因为这是别人给我写得最贴心的话
Because that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever written me.
是吗？
It was?
是的
Yes.
我爱你，克里斯
I love you, Chris.
像哥哥一般 -嗯？
like a brother -Hmm?
我们是朋友，对吧？ -当然！
We’re friends, right? -For sure!
啊，恶心！
Ah, you pussy!
闭嘴，提姆！
Shut up, Tim!
你们这些人没别的事可做了吗？！
Don’t you people have anything better to do?!
天哪！别理他！
God! Just leave him alone!
你们这群讨厌鬼！
You jerks!
我会证明给你看！ -哦！
I’ll show you! -Ooh!
我会证明给你们大家！
I’ll show all of you!
这个小镇全是废物
This town is full of losers
而我要成功！
and I’m pulling out to win!
克里斯！克里斯，回来！
Chris! Chris, come back!
我叫克里斯·布兰德！ -克里斯，我们谈谈！
My name is Chris Brander! -Chris, let’s talk!
你要记得那个名字！因为我会成为名人的！
You remember that name! ‘Cause I’m gonna be somebody!
我不知道该说什么
I don’t know what to say.
我是说，做♥爱♥很美好
I mean, the sex is good,
但我也是个人
but I’m a person too.
我是说，我有感觉有需要
I mean, I have feelings and needs
不仅仅是生理上的！
other than just physical!
你没有什么好说的吗？
Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?
我想你已经说得够多了
I think you’ve pretty much said it all.
你知道吗？这不管用
You know what? This just isn’t working out.
好好生活吧，因为雅典娜不玩了！
Have a great life, ’cause Athena’s out!
我不知道为什么你不把我当回事！
I don’t know why you just don’t take me serious!
喔！
Wow!
我猜雅典娜不玩了
I guess Athena’s out.
天哪，你能相信吗？
God, can you believe that?
我在圣诞节前四天被甩了
I get dumped four days before Christmas.
我看见了 -对，而且，你袖手旁观
I saw -Yeah, and yet, you did nothing.
事实上，这让你成为帮凶
Technically, that makes you an accomplice.
也是有罪的
Guilty as charged.
你知道吗，在有些文化里他们会因这个打你屁♥股♥
You know, in some cultures they’d spank you for that.
哦，我爱旅行
Oh, I love to travel.
克里斯·布兰德 -我是曼蒂
Chris Brander -I’m Mandy.
当然你是，我知道一首歌♥就叫“曼蒂”
Of course you are. You know, I know a song called “Mandy.”
哦！
Oh!
他出手就得分
He shoots, he scores.
很好，很好！ -对，布兰德！干得好，布兰德！
Nice, nice! -Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander!
你是个坏家伙，不，不，是你
You’re the bad bunny. No. No, that’s you.
你是个坏家伙，对
You’re the bad bunny. Yeah.
好了，够了
Okay, that’s enough out of you.
下次给我打电♥话♥让我来付费
Next time you call me, you call me collect.
好了，拜拜
Okay. Bye-bye.
昨晚怎么样？ -10点钟回家
So how’d it go last night? -Home by 10:00.
一分钟后在电脑前脱了裤子
Pants off in front of the computer by 10:01.
很好，那席拉呢？你有什么进展？
Nice. What about Sheila? Are you making any headway?
我今天请她吃午饭
We’ll see. I’m taking her to lunch today–
哦，哇噢，哇噢，别 别这么做
Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don’t–don’t do that.
好吗？别吃午饭 -为什么？
Okay? Don’t do lunch -Why?
这如同进入朋友界限的快速通道
That’s like the express lane to the friend zone.
到底什么是朋友界限？
What the hell’s the friend zone?
当女孩子认定你是她的朋友
See when a girl decides that you’re her friend,
你就不再是约会的选择对象了
you’re no longer a dating option.
你在她眼中就成为了完全无性别的个体
You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes,
像是她的哥哥或者一盏灯
like her brother. Or a lamp.
我不想做一盏灯
I don’t want to be a lamp.
对，那么，就别做她的朋友，好吗？
Yeah. Well, then don’t be her friend, okay?
哦，拿那个家伙作例子
Oh. Take that guy, for example.
你是说那一对？ -不不不
You mean that couple? -No no no.
不，我是说那个家伙倒是他们是一对
No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple.
你什么意思？ -我的意思是
What is your point? -My point is.
给席拉打电♥话♥，雷，现在就打
call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now.
把约会挪到今晚
Move your day date to tonight.
要若即若离，不管你怎么做，最后要吻她
Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end.
因为朋友是不亲吻的 -好的，若即若离
‘Cause friends don’t kiss -All right. “Aloof.”
嗨
Hi.
留言信箱 -哎哟
Straight to voicemail -Ouch.
希望你还不算迟，你可能已经是她的女朋友了
Hope you’re not too late. You may already be girlfriends.
真的？我怎么知道？ -听着，没关系，好吗？
Really? How will I know? -Look. It doesn’t matter, okay?
如果你觉得你陷进去了就要抽身
If you feel yourself going there, walk away.
你怎么知道这些的？
Where’d you come up with this theory?
我在高中时代的教训
Some chick f’d me up in high school bad.
请原谅，请原谅
Excuse me. Excuse me.
原谅你！
Excuse you!
我看见你对我卖♥♥弄风情
I saw you flirting with me out there.
你怎么能这样对你的男朋友？
How could you do that to your boyfriend?
谁，他？我们只是普通朋友
Who, him? We’re just friends.
哦，不不不，我从没说过，林希，我不会这么做
Oh, no no no, I never said that, Lindsay. I wouldn’t do that.
不，我正驾车通过隧♥道♥
No, I’m driving through a tunnel.
好，马上就好，嘿，弗兰西，你看上去不错
Okay. One second here. Hey, Francine, you look great.
谢谢 -那个颜色很显你的腿
Thanks -That color really brings out your legs.
嘿，我甚至不认识你，对，吼-吼-吼
Hey, I don’t even know you. Yeah. Ho-ho-ho.
那很好，圣诞快乐
That’s great. Merry Christmas.
我还是能看见，我还是能 使劲擦！
I can still see it. I can still–rub harder!
别这么轻！使劲
Don’t dab at it! Rub it.
使劲，使劲，使劲！
Rub, rub it, rub it!
听着，事实上，那裤子更显我胖了？
Look, honestly, these pants make me look fat?
嗯 -你被解雇了！
Well -You’re fired!
什么？ -我开玩笑的
What? -I’m kidding.
吼-吼-吼！谁得到了圣诞礼物？
Ho-ho-ho! Who’s got a Christmas present?
我
I do.
你好吗，老板？圣诞快乐
How you doing, boss? Merry Christmas.
我穿这裤子显胖吗？ -当然不
I look fat in these pants? -Hell no.
太好了！你要回家
Excellent! So you’re seeing your family
过圣诞假期 -嗯，事实上
for the holidays -Well, as a matter of fact–
等等，你要什么？ -不
Wait. You want anything? -No.
走！等等
Go! Wait.
家人 -父母离婚了
Family -Parents are separated.
我觉得这不是好时候，所以 -太棒了
Jersey’s not my idea of a good time, so -Fabulous.
看看 -对，很好，好
Check this out -Yeah. Great. Good.
今晚，你将在杂♥志♥上看到她的身影
First up tonight, you’ve seen her in the pages of magazines,
而且几乎是一切
and well, the opening of practically anything,
但是你可能不知道
but what what you may not know about this “it” girl.
她慈善的一面
is her humanitarian side.
嘿，大家好，我是萨曼沙·杰姆斯
Hey, everyone. I’m Samantha James
我和克拉克，克拉克先生在这里
and I’m here with Mr.Cluck Cluck
还有我的新朋友瓦甫吉
and my new best friend Wafoofi
我们是一项慈善活动中的一份子
and we’re part of a kick-ass humanitarian effort
在第三世界国家帮助宣传素食主义
to help promote vegetarianism in third world countries,
那是十分十分重要的
which is really really important.
好了，说到非常非常重要的
Okay, and speaking of really really important.
我有好消息
I have some good news.
我正在录制新专辑
I’ve been recording for my new album
我希望能够早点发
which I hope to have out early next–
我要那专辑 -啊！什么？！
I want that album -Hah! What?!
萨曼沙·杰姆斯？ -对
Samantha James? -Yeah.
不不不不，现在认真听我说
No no no no. Listen to me very carefully now.
萨曼沙·杰姆斯是个疯子