朱诺

我不行
I can’t.
我也一样
Me neither.
不过我决定不再穿内♥裤♥了
But I’m going to stop wearing underpants.
好增加精♥子♥数量
Raise my sperm count.
回见
See ya.
因为我是胶水做的
‘Cause I’m made out of glue
你要做的事情
Anything that you might do
我也要一起做
I’m gonna do too
-朱诺 -布里克
– Juno, hey. – Hey, Bleek.
我跟几个家伙准备放学去看电影
Me and some guys are going to go to the movies after school,
边吃甜甜圈边看《新欢乐满堂》
and we’re going to doughnut that flick with the guy who has 18 kids.
你来不来
You want to come?
听起来很棒 但我得去做B超
Oh, it sounds awesome, but I got my ultrasound.
真的吗
Oh, really?
我能…
Can I…
你觉得我该跟你去吗
Should I come, you think?
这甜甜圈浪费了多可惜
You can’t waste those… those doughnut holes there.
不过说不定我晚点儿能过去
I… But maybe I could, you know, drop by later.
好的
Okay. Cool.
回见 布里克
Later, Bleek.
回见
See ya.
我会给你占个位子的
I’ll save you a seat.
那就是你的宝宝
There’s your baby.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
那里是手
There’s a hand.
还有手臂
And an arm.
脚在那里
And there’s the feet.
你看看
Would you look at that?
瞧瞧这大头娃娃
Check out Baby Big Head!
姐们 那玩意儿长得真奇怪
Dude, that thing is freaky looking.
拜托 我肚子里的东西可是很神圣的
Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, all right?
哪像你肚子里只有墨西哥菜
All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell.
真想不到会有傻瓜
It’s amazing that there’s actually saps
对着这玩意儿哭
that cry at this.
干嘛 我又不是铁石心肠
What? I’m not made of stone.
好了 看完了
Well, there you have it.
想知道性别吗
Would you like to know the sex?
-想 -不想
– Yes. – No.
拜托了 朱诺
Please, Juno. Please!
不行 绝对不行 别说性别
No. Definitely no. There’s no sex.
准备在生产的时候来个惊喜吗
Planning to be surprised when you deliver.
不是 我想给马克和瓦妮莎一个惊喜
Well, no, I want Mark and Vanessa to be surprised,
你要是告诉我了
and if you told me,
我就会毁了这一切的
I’ll just, like, ruin everything.
马克和瓦妮莎是你在学校的朋友吗
Are Mark and Vanessa your friends at school?
不 不 他们是孩子的养父母
No, no, no. They’re the adoptive parents.
感谢上帝
Oh. Well, thank goodness for that.
那是什么意思
What’s that supposed to mean?
在这我见过太多未成年妈妈了
I just see a lot of teenage mothers come through here.
显然这对孩子的成长百害而无一利
It’s obviously a poisonous environment to raise a baby in.
你怎么知道我就有害呢
How do you know that I’m so poisonous, you know?
万一这些养父母
Like, what if these adoptive parents
其实是猥亵狂呢
turn out to be, like, evil molesters?
或者他们只是想作秀呢
Or, like, stage parents?
他们可能本身就很粗心大意
They could be utterly negligent.
也许他们在带小孩这方面
Maybe they’ll do a far shittier job of raising a kid
比我这白♥痴♥继女更加糟糕
than my dumbass stepdaughter ever would.
你想到过这些吗
Have you considered that?
没有
No. I guess not.
就是啊 你确切的职称是什么
Yeah. What is your job title exactly?
我是超声技师 女士
I’m an ultrasound technician, ma’am.
我是美甲师
Well, I’m a nail technician,
我觉得我们只要做好本职工作就行了
and I think we both ought to stick to what we know.
抱歉
Excuse me?
你觉得你很牛逼吗
Oh, you think you’re so special,
就因为你会播点画面给我们看
’cause you get to play picture pages up there?
我五岁的女儿也能做 并且我告诉你
My five-year-old daughter could do that, and let me tell you,
她还算不上有多聪明
she’s not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.
所以你还是回去曼蒂诺的夜校
So why don’t you go back to night school in Manteno
学点儿真本事再说
and learn a real trade?
布伦达 你屌♥爆了
Bren, you’s a dick!
爱死你了
I love it!
我最亲爱的人儿 虽说你最靠近我的心
Dearest, though you’re the nearest to my heart
但请你永远不要
Please don’t ever
不要和我分别
Ever say we’ll part
你喜欢责骂
You scold
又很冒失
And you are so bold
是的 在一起
Yes, together, yeah
我会好好呵护你
I’m going to treat you right
是的 我会好好呵护你
Yeah, I’m going to treat you right.
朱诺 没想到你会过来
Juno. Wow! I didn’t expect to see you here.
我有很酷的东西想给你们看看
I… I have something really cool to show you guys.
瓦妮莎在吗
Is Vanessa here?
不在
Nope.
实际上 她今天要工作到很晚
Actually, she’s working late tonight.
她想尽可能多地累积假期
She’s trying to accrue as much time off
以便日后…
as she can before the…
是的 我听说照顾宝宝很花时间
Oh, right. I hear these are quite the time suck.
对 进来吧
Yeah. You want to come on in?
我刚把人参茶冰了一下
I’m just having a ginseng cooler.
来一瓶吗
Would you like one?
你们这群有钱人怎么
What is it with you rich people
老喜欢喝灌满草药的饮料
and your herb-infused juices?
应该是买♥♥得太多
It’s probably got something to do
喝也喝不完
with those 44-packs they come in.
不过还挺好喝的
They’re not bad, though.
等等 你怎么没去工作
Wait a second. Why aren’t you at work?
我基本上在家工作 我是个作曲家
I work mostly from home. I’m a composer.
真的假的
No shit?
像约翰内斯·勃拉姆斯那样的吗
Like Johann Brahms or…
不 我更加商业化
No. More commercial stuff.
比如说
Like what?
广♥告♥歌♥曲
Commercials.
看过钛能量的男士除臭剂广♥告♥吗
Have you seen the ads for the Titanium Power men’s deodorant?
钛能量
Titanium Power-r-r-r
让你捕获更多芳心
Get more snatch by the baa-atch.
对 厨房♥就是它赚来的
Right. Paid for this kitchen.
你都成抢手货了 马克
You’re quite the sellout, Mark.
讨厌鬼乐队因不肯商业化唱片一直卖♥♥得不好
讨厌鬼会怎么想啊
I mean, what would the Melvins say?
你不是说有什么要给我看的吗
Did you say you had something to show me?
看好了 先生 你未来的孩子
Behold, good sir, your future child.
瞧它
Hey, look at that.
我觉得它长得挺像我朋友鲍里的
I think it looks like my friend Paulie.
他也是又秃又奇怪吗
Is he also bald and amorphous?
不 他是孩子的父亲
No. He’s the dad.
你看得出是男是女吗
Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?
看不出
I can’t.
医生可以
The doctor can.
但我想留个惊喜
But I kind of want it to be a surprise.
反正是二选一
Well, it can only go one of two ways.
那是你的想法
That’s what you think.
我喝了不少酒
I mean, I drink tons of booze,
所以最后可能生出来的是个没有鸡鸡的
so you might end up with one of those scary neuter babies
中性人
that’s born without junk.
鸡鸡吗
Junk, huh?
对 就是那个部分
Yeah. You know, its parts.
-我知道鸡鸡是哪里 -好吧
– I know what junk is. – Yeah, right.
我们当然希望它能有个鸡鸡了 拜托了
We definitely want it to have some junk. Please.
这你不用担心
You don’t need to worry about a thing.
我的继母布伦达把我喂得超级健康