朱诺

秋
故事得从沙发说起
It started with a chair.
曾几何时
Once
我也爱过
I loved
为爱倾注我所有
And I gave so much love to this love
爱就是一切
It was the world to me
曾几何时
Once
我啜不成泣
I cried
全因我的愚蠢与骄傲
At the thought I was foolish and proud
让你选择了告别
And let you say good-bye
这一刻我等了好久
I’ve wanted this for a really long time.
我知道
I know.
好神奇
Wizard.
在黯然神伤之际得以遇见你
From my infinite sadness you came
该死 巴纳纳 能不能闭上你的狗嘴
Geez, Banana, shut your friggin’ gob, okay?!
这是我见过的废旧家具中
This is the most magnificent discarded living room set
最不废旧的
I’ve ever seen.
如果我是自♥由♥生长的野花
If I was a flower growing wild and free
我只愿你是我的小蜜蜂
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honeybee
如果我是参天绿树
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
我只愿你是绿叶为我遮阴
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves
如果我是自♥由♥生长的野花
If I was a flower growing wild and free
朱诺
我只愿你是我的小蜜蜂
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honeybee
如果我是参天绿树
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
我只愿你是绿叶为我遮阴
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves
我只想要你 你可愿做我的新娘
All I want is you, will you be my bride
与我携手并肩面对风浪
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
我只想要你 你可愿陪着我
All I want is you, will you stay with me
拥我入怀 像海浪般摇曳
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea
如果你是高山溪流
If you were a river and the mountains tall
潺潺流水便是我的呼唤
The rumble of your water would be my call
如果你是冬天 我便是雪
If you were the winter, I know I’d be the snow
只要你在身边 寒风怒号♥我也不怕
Just as long as you were with me when the cold winds blow
我只想要你 你可愿做我的新娘
All I want is you, will you be my bride
与我携手并肩面对风浪
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
我只想要你 你可愿陪着我
All I want is you, will you stay with me
拥我入怀 像海浪般摇曳
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea
如果你眨眼 我便点头
If you were a wink, I’d be a nod
如果你是豆籽 我便是豆荚
If you were a seed, well, I’d be a pod
如果你是地板 我便作地毯
If you were a floor, I’d want to be the rug
如果你是热吻 我便是拥抱
And if you were a kiss, I know I’d be a hug
我只想要你 你可愿做我的新娘
All I want is you, will you be my bride
与我携手并肩面对风浪
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
我只想要你 你可愿陪着我
All I want is you, will you stay with me
拥我入怀 像海浪般摇曳
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea
如果你是木 我便是火
If you were the wood, I’d be the fire
如果你是爱 我便是欲望
If you were the love, I’d be the desire
如果你是城♥堡♥ 我便是护城河
If you were a castle, I’d be your moat
如果你是海洋 我便学着漂浮
And if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float
我只想要你 你可愿做我的新娘
All I want is you, will you be my bride
与我携手并肩面对风浪
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
我只想要你 你可愿陪着我
All I want is you, will you stay with me
拥我入怀 像海浪般摇曳
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.
杂货店
哎哟 又来探查真♥相♥了
Well, well, if it isn’t MacGuff the crime dog.
还想再验吗
Back for another test?
我觉得第一次的结果有问题
I think the first one was defective.
那加号♥看上去更像个除号♥
The plus sign looks more like a division symbol,
所以我还是不太相信
so I remain unconvinced.
这都今天第三次了 女神探
Third test today, mama bear.
你怀孕了 毋庸置疑
Your Eggo is prego, no doubt about it.
其实想弄明白很简单
It’s really easy to tell.
乳♥头♥是不是变棕色了
Is your nipples real brown?
对啊 没准你小男友精♥子♥变异
Yeah, maybe your little boyfriend’s got mutant sperms,
让你连怀两次呢
knocked you up twice.
闭嘴 大叔
Silencio, old man!
我刚喝了一大桶果汁
Look, I just drank my weight in SunnyD,
得赶紧上洗手间
and I got to go pronto.
你知道洗手间在哪的
Well, you know where the lavatory is.
弄完了记得给验孕棒的钱
And pay for that pee stick when you’re done.
别以为沾了你的尿
Don’t think it’s yours just ’cause you marked it
就是你的了
with your urine.
什么结果 怀孕小能手
What’s the prognosis, fertile Myrtle?
减号♥还是加号♥
Minus or plus?
不知道 还没好
I don’t know. It’s not seasoned yet.
买♥♥个这个
Take some of these.
不 还是出现了
No, there it is.
这加号♥怎么看都不招人待见
God, that little pink plus sign is so unholy.
摇一摇又不能撤销键入
That ain’t no Etch A Sketch.
这可是改不了 宝贝儿
This is one doodle that can’t be undid, home skillet.
我取下房♥间里有你的照片
I took the Polaroid down in my room
因我确信你已有了新女友
I’m pretty sure you have a new girlfriend
并不是我已经不再爱你
It’s not as if I don’t like you
只是我看到照片便会难过
It just makes me sad whenever I see it
我爱待在外边
‘Cause I like to be gone most of the time
你却爱待在家里
And you like to be home most of the time
在一个地方待着 我会抓狂
If I stay in one place, I lose my mind
这样看来不太适合做你的女人
I’m a pretty impossible lady to be with
乔伊酷爱每辆自行车
Joey never met a bike that he didn’t want to ride
而我喜欢每个叫托比的男孩
And I never met a Toby that I didn’t like
我推荐的书斯科蒂都喜欢
Scotty liked all of the books that I recommended
哪怕不喜欢 我也不会介怀
Even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t be offended
我曾梦过开车去麦迪逊
I had a dream that I had to drive to Madison
为些愚蠢的原因
To deliver a painting
去送一幅画
For some silly reason
没想到拐错弯 最后到了密歇根
I took a wrong turn and ended up in Michigan
保罗·巴里博带我坐巨大的轮胎秋千
Paul Baribeau took me to the giant tire swing
喂喂 哪位
Yo, yo, yo-giddy, yo.
我想自杀
I’m a suicide risk.
朱诺
Juno?
不 我是摩根·弗里曼
No, it’s Morgan Freeman.
有没有骨头给我收集啊[《人骨拼图》情节]
Do you have any bones that need collecting?
《人骨拼图》主角是丹泽尔·华盛顿 朱诺说错了
小♥弟♥弟♥你要吗
Only the one in my pants.
我怀孕了
I’m pregnant.
什么 真的假的
What?! Honest to blog?
没错 布里克的
Yeah. Yeah, it’s Bleeker’s.
有可能是吃多了吧
It’s probably just a food baby.
你是不是中午吃大餐了
Did you have a big lunch?
不 这次真不是吃多了 好吗
No, this is not a food baby, all right?
我都验过三次孕了
I’ve taken, like, three pregnancy tests,
我确定自己怀孕了
and I am for shiz up the spout.
你哪来那么多尿
How did you even generate enough pee
验三次孕的
for three pregnancy tests?
真了不得
That’s amazing.
不知道 我喝了超多的果汁
I don’t know. I drank, like, ten tons of SunnyD.
别管那些 我跟你说我怀孕了
Anyway, dude, I’m telling you I’m pregnant,
你居然关心我尿多少
and you’re acting shockingly cavalier.
真的吗 没骗我
Is this for real? Like, for real for real?
比珍珠还真
Unfortunately, yes.
天啊
Oh, my God!
我靠
Oh, shit!
扯什么淡
Phuket, Thailand.
这就对了
There we go.
这就是第一次结果出来时
That was kind of the emotion
我的反应
that I was searching for on the first take.
那你打算去海文布鲁克医院还是女子医院
So, are you going to go to Havenbrook or Women Now?
去海文布鲁克医院还要有家长签字
‘Cause you know you need a note from your parents for Havenbrook.
我知道 我想去女子医院
Yeah, I know, no, I’m going to go to Women Now,
因为他们帮助女性解决问题
just ’cause they help out women now.
要我帮你打电♥话♥吗
Hey, do you want me to call for you?