朱莉与朱莉娅（2009）

– Hey, guess what? – what?
你在salon.com上面博客排名第三
You are the third most popular blog on salon. com.
-是吗 -是啊
– I am? – yes, you are.
我是第三
I am!
我觉得一百个人里面
So I figure for every one who writes in,
其实只有一两个人写评论 你不觉得吗
There are, I don’t know, hundreds that don’t. don’t you think?
感觉就像有一群人
It’s like there’s this whole group of
有跟我有着某种联♥系♥
People who are sort of connected to me.
他们在某种程度上需要我
They need me in some way.
好像如果我不写了 我们会很伤心的
Like, if I didn’t write, they would really be upset.
他们说不定会 比方说喝点毒药什么的 自杀
They’d probably take, like, poison, try to kill themselves.
茱莉亚
Julia.
你现在还做帽子吗
Are you still making hats?
不做了 我放弃了
Oh, no, I abandoned it.
不过我打算从蓝带毕业了
But I am ready to graduate from the cordon bleu.
可那个女校长
I can’t get the damn woman
不给我安排考试
Who runs the school to schedule the test.
布哈萨特夫人 你是说她吗
Madame brassart? is that the woman you are speaking of?
她是个婊♥子♥
She is a bitch.
说对了 她就是
She is, you’re right.
在这个世界上
I think she’s almost the only person in the world
我就实在受不了她这一个人
I honestly can’t stand.
我受不了的不止她一个
She is not the only person I can’t stand.
你们俩认识吗
Do you two know each other?
你们该认识一下
You should.
这位是茱莉亚·查尔德 这是西蒙·贝克
Julia Child, Simone Beck.
-叫我西蒙卡就好了 -西蒙卡 很高兴认识你
– Simca. – Simca, how do you do?
这是我的朋友罗伊赛·贝托勒
And this is my friend Louisette Bertholle.
幸会幸会
Enchante!
我真不敢相信你们居然不认识
I can’t believe you haven’t met.
西蒙卡和罗伊赛在写一本食谱
Simca and louisette are writing a cookbook.
-写给美国人 -真的吗
– For americans. – Really?
你干嘛要去考那个倒霉的试呢
Why do you need to take a stupid test?
那样我就能拿到文凭 我就能教别人了
So I can get a diploma. so I can teach.
我不一定非要文凭才能上课
You don’t need a diploma to teach.
我说的不错
You’re probably right.
-艾维斯也这样说 -谁是艾维斯
– Avis says the same thing. – Who is Avis?
我朋友 艾维斯·沃特 她住在麻省剑桥
My friend, avis de voto, who lives in cambridge, massachusetts.
她非常聪明
She’s very wise.
不过我不能自已 我就是想要文凭
But I can’t help it. I want a diploma.
我是个循规蹈矩的人
I am very conventional.
我不知道该怎么做
I don’t know what to do.
要不然你写信给那个讨厌的布哈萨特夫人
Well, why don’t you write to the horrible madame brassart
威胁她
And threaten her?
拿什么威胁她
Threaten her? with what?
美♥利♥坚♥合众国
The United States of America.
是啊
Yes!
告诉她美国大使想
Tell her the american ambassador personally wants you
让你参加考试
To take the examination.
不行吧 不行
No, no, no, no, no, no.
我不能那样做 天哪
I couldn’t do that. heavens, no!
美国大使 我几乎都不认识他
The american ambassador. hardly even know the man.
你当然可以
Of course you can.
亲爱的布哈萨特夫人
Dear Madame Brassart,
美国驻法大使♥馆♥的所有人
Everyone at the american embassy,
包括我亲爱的朋友 美国大使大人
Including my dear friend the ambassador,
都对你不让我参加考试感到十分惊讶
Will be very surprised if I’m not allowed to take my examination.
写下以下食谱
You will write the recipes
艾佛式煮蛋 科莱特惊奇小牛肉
Effor oeufs mollets. celettes de veau en surprise,
科莱特惊奇小牛肉
Celettes de veau en surprise
我根本记不起来什么小牛肉
I had no idea what veal en surprise was. None.
上课的时候做过
Cooked it in class.
是把牛肉跟蘑菇剁在一起装在袋子里
It’s a veal chop with mushrooms in a bag.
纸袋子 就是惊奇的部分
A paper bag. that’s the surprise.
你一带开袋子 意外吧
You open the bag, surprise!
牛肉和蘑菇
Veal and mushrooms,
我从小考试就没不及格过
It’s just I’ve never flunked a test in my entire life.
-我是个好学生 -你可以申请重考
– I am an A student. – You can ask to take it again.
-我可以? -当然了
– I can? – of course.
与此同时 你可以过来跟我们一起上课
Meanwhile, you can come teach with us.
天哪
Gosh!
你要去教课 是真的吗
Is it true you plan to teach?
是的 我要教在巴黎的美国人做饭
Yes, we’re going to teach americans in paris how to cook.
查尔德夫人 恕我直言 你没有烹饪的天赋
Madame Child, I must tell you, you have no real talent for cooking.
不过你们美国人是吃不出区别来的
But the americans will never know the difference.
很遗憾的说 我们轮到做肉冻了
We are, I am sorry to say, entering aspics.
肉冻就是一种牛肉味的果冻一样的东西
An aspic is sort of a beef-flavored jell-o mold.
挺起来很好吃吧
Doesn’t that sound delicious?
我想不到为什么现在没人做了
I can’t imagine why no one makes them anymore.
先要煮小牛蹄
You begin with a calf’s foot,
亏了我的圣人老公 我有了牛蹄
Which I am in possession of thanks to my sainted husband,
要把牛蹄煮到厨房♥闻起来像皮革厂一样
And you boil it until your kitchen smells like a tannery.
让后放到冰箱里使其结冻 然后翻到一个盘子里
And then it gels in the refrigerator and you flip it onto a plate.
据茱莉亚·查尔德 应该很容易
Which, according to julia child, is supposed to be easy.
但据我所知 千万别介意 茱莉亚
And all I can say about that, no offense intended, julia, is
那个婊♥子♥在撒谎
The bitch lied.
操
Shit.
-妈的 -还有几个牛蹄啊
– Shit! – how many more aspics are there?
7个
Seven.
你不做也没人知道
No one will know if you don’t do them.
又不是有个牛蹄警♥察♥在盯着你
It’s not like there’s, like, the aspic police or something.
你可以撒谎
You could lie.
我不能 不能撒谎
I can’t. I just can’t.
茱莉亚会知道的
Julia will know.
她一直在看着我 在她的影响之下
It’s like she’s watching me. I’m under her influence.
我变成了一个更好的人
I’m becoming a much better person because of her.
呃 看这水池
Yuck! the sink! look at this!
我讨厌这里 你是不是把什么东西丢进下水道了
I hate it here! Did you put something down the sink?
你讨厌这里?
You hate it here?
我在这种环境下怎么做好饭啊
How am I supposed to cook anything in this kitchen?
怪不得我的肉冻都散了
It’s no wonder that my mold fell apart.
我们连个畅通的下水管都没有
I don’t suppose we have any drano.
除非你通了它
Not unless you bought it.
我做了这么多你还让我通下水管?
I do all of this and I’m supposed to buy drano, too?
这会儿你一点都没有茱莉亚的影子
Right now, you are so not under the influence of julia child.
我要是没在限期内成功怎么办 埃里克
What if I don’t make my deadline, Eric?
我就会浪费了一年的时光
I’ll have wasted a whole year of my life.
我一年那么瘦 可现在越来越胖
I used to be thin and now I’m getting fat.
-胖 -除此之外
– Fat? – On top of which,
我还得给一只整鸭除骨
I have to bone a whole duck.
-什么时候 -早晚的事
– When? – At some point.
-你能想象你给鸭除骨吗 -不 我不行
– Can you even conceive of boning a duck? – No, I can’t.
你当然不行
Of course you can’t.
我想你们肯定记得 仅仅在几天之前
I’m sure you all remember, because it was only a few days ago,
我的肉冻失败了
That I had a meltdown over my aspic
我从而发誓要做的更好
And vowed to transform myself into a better human being.
但随后在我缝诺曼底鸡的时候
and then I was trussing the poulet normande,
就是将烤鸡
Which is roast chicken stuffed
里面塞满鸡肝和奶酪
with chicken livers and cream cheese,
鸡掉在了地上 里面粘粘的东西弄了一地
And it fell on the floor and the stuffing fell out into a big gooey mess.
长话短说吧 我又失败了
So, long story short, another meltdown.
这太崩溃了
This is crazy.
比上次还糟
Worse than the last.
我连缝鸡都不会
I can’t even truss.
我哭得像个有情绪障碍的小孩子一样
And I cried like a small, emotionally disturbed child.
我是一团糟
I’m a mess.
我来接 我来接
I got it. I got it.
喂
Hello?
是的 你是谁
Yeah, who’s this?
你能稍等一会吗
Can you hold on just one second?
我不确定她在不在