乔乔的异想世界

《喂 犹太佬》
Yoohoo Jew.
是揭秘犹太人的
It’s an exposé on Jews.
别名可以叫《犹太佬 你是谁》
You could also call it Who Are You, Jew?
《犹太新闻》怎么样
Or what about Jews News?
你还真是想象力丰富
Oh, you do have a wonderful imagination on you.
-我说的是真的 -当然是真的
– But it’s real. – Ja, of course it’s real.
我和你一样大时有个幻想好友叫康尼
When I was your age, I had an imaginary friend called Conny.
总是在我睡着的时候尿湿我的床
He used to wet my bed when I was asleep.
给我惹了很多麻烦
He got me in so much trouble.
过来 给你看看我在忙什么
Hey, come here. You might like to check out what I’m working on.
为了应对敌军入侵
As part of our preparations for the invasion,
我重新设计了制♥服♥
I’m redesigning my uniform.
注意 符合空气动力学的羽饰
Note, the feathers for aerodynamics,
能使敌军目眩的闪耀色彩
the sparkly color to dazzle the enemy,
纯属装饰性的靴子
the boots purely decorative.
还有这个
And this,
一把装有收音机的加特林机♥枪♥
this is a Gatling gun mounted with a radio
能够播放恼人的音乐来打击敌人
which emits annoying music to dishearten the enemy.
顺便说一下 这些都是有版权的
This is all copyrighted, by the way.
也就是说你不能盗版它们
That means you can’t copy it.
没错 别打歪主意了 小子
Ja. Don’t get any ideas, kid.
孩子们告诉我你♥爸♥爸在外打仗
The kids tell me that your father’s away fighting.
所以现在你是家里的顶梁柱了 感觉怎么样
So it appears you are now the man of the house. How’s that going?
还行吧
It’s okay.
是吗
Ja?
你今天需要我做什么工作吗
So, what jobs do you have for me today?
说实话 有一份活
Well, I’ve got one, I won’t lie.
跟你原来做的事情比 没那么重要
It’s a bit of a step down from what you’re used to,
但是我们现在需要所有的人手
but we need all hands on deck right now.
帮助祖国
需要金属
为希♥特♥勒♥捐金属
Metal for Hitler!
为打仗捐锅碗瓢盆
Pots and pans for the war effort!
♪ 金属小子来了 ♪
♪ Here comes the metal man ♪
♪ 收集锅碗盆瓢 ♪
♪ Looking for your pots and pans ♪
-为希♥特♥勒♥捐金属 -为希♥特♥勒♥捐金属
– Metal for Hitler! – Metal for Hitler!
螺栓螺钉
Nuts and bolts!
锅碗瓢盆
Pots and pans!
解放德国 反抗纳粹党
解放德国
“Free Germany.”
乔乔
Jojo?
-约克 -你好
– Yorki? – Hi!
你当上士兵了
You’re a soldier now?
乐意为你效劳
At your service.
但是你才十一岁
But you’re only 11.
是啊
I know.
-我可以看看吗 -当然
– May I? – Yeah, sure.
这是纸做的吗
Is that paper?
我刚开始也是这么想的 但这只是看上去像纸
That’s what I thought at first, too, but it’s “paper-like.”
这是由我们的顶尖科学家发明的最新材料
It’s the latest material invented by our top scientists.
真了不起
Well, I’m impressed.
约克
Hey, Yorki.
我抓了个犹太人 真的
I caught a Jew. A real one.
犹太人
A Jew?
上个月我看到他们抓了几个藏在森林里的
I saw some that they caught hiding in the forest last month.
个人而言 我不明白有什么好大惊小怪的
Personally, I didn’t see what all the fuss was about.
他们一点也不可怕 看上去就是普通人
They weren’t at all scary and seemed kind of normal.
我还有任务呢
I’m getting distracted.
我得走了
I got to go.
再见
Bye.
-再见 -天呐
– Bye. – Oh, my God.
穿着这玩意太难跑了
It’s so hard to run in this thing.
我找到了这些
I found these.
给你吧 大概都摔断了
You can have them. They’re probably broken.
没什么大不了的
Doesn’t mean anything.
也许你可以帮我的书画点东西
Maybe you can draw something for my book.
我可以再画一次你
I could draw you again.
没有人想看瘸子的画像
No one wants to see pictures of cripples.
你不算是瘸子
You’re hardly a cripple.
再说 真正的艺术家看不见这些
Besides, true artists don’t see that stuff.
你是说盲人艺术家吧
Blind artists, you mean.
没事的
It’s fine.
我只能接受现实 我这辈子
I’ll just accept I’ll be one of those guys
永远没机会亲吻女孩
who’ll never get to kiss a girl.
会有机会的 乔乔
You will be kissed, Jojo.
你想让我亲你吗
Do you want me to kiss you?
好了
Okay.
两件事
Two things.
第一件事
Thing number one:
纳粹和犹太人像我们这样相处是违法的
It’s illegal for Nazis and Jews to hang out like we do,
更别说亲吻了
let alone kiss.
第二件事
Thing number two:
那只是同情的吻 不算数
It’d just be a sympathy kiss, which doesn’t count.
你不是纳粹
You’re not a Nazi.
我超级喜欢卍字
I’m massively into swastikas,
我觉得这就够明显了吧
so I think that’s a pretty good sign right there.
你不是纳粹 乔乔
You’re not a Nazi, Jojo.
你是个喜欢卍字
You’re a ten-year-old kid who likes swastikas
喜欢穿可笑的制♥服♥
and likes dressing up in a funny uniform
想要被接纳的十岁小孩
and wants to be part of a club.
但是你跟他们不一样
But you are not one of them.
好吧
Okay.
我们保留意见吧
Let’s just agree to disagree.
行吗
All right?
还说我不是纳粹
“Not a Nazi.”
真是个脏兮兮的犹太佬
What a dirty Jew.
快 藏起来
Come on. Hide.
快点
Hurry. Go.
希♥特♥勒♥万岁
Heil Hitler.
请容我介绍一下我自己
Allow me to introduce myself.
我是法肯海姆盖世太保的
I’m Captain Herman Deertz
赫尔曼·迪尔茨上尉
of the Falkenheim Gestapo.
跟我一起的是 米勒先生 容克先生
With me, Herr Mueller, Herr Junker,
克鲁姆先生和福赫士先生 我们可以进去吗
Herr Klum and Herr Frosch. May we come in?
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
乔乔
Hey, Jojo!
大家好啊
Hey, guys!
很高兴见到你们
Good to see you!
我的自行车胎瘪了 所以我扛过来的
My bicycle got a flat tire, so I carried it.
-克伦森多夫上尉 希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Captain Klenzendorf. Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
你们都认识弗雷迪·芬克尔
You know Freddy Finkel.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
-希♥特♥勒♥万岁 -希♥特♥勒♥万岁
– Heil Hitler. – Heil Hitler.
我错过什么了吗
So, did I miss anything?
没有 我们刚刚才跟小孩打过招呼
No, no. We were just Heil Hitlering” The boy
还有跟你打了招呼
and then Heil Hitlering” Yourself
当然了 还跟弗雷迪·芬克尔打了招呼
and then, of course, Heil Hitlering” Freddy Finkel
现在我们正在进行例行检查
and now we are in the midst of a routine inspection.
你来这有何贵干呢 上尉
And, uh, what brings you here, Captain?
我们只是路过