憨豆特工2（2011）

约翰尼·英格力士
约翰尼·英格力士
Johnny English.
五年前 他是我们最好的特工
Five years ago, he was our top agent.
对 要不是他在莫桑比克惹了麻烦
Yeah. Took his eye off the ball in Mozambique.
军情七处一团糟
卫♥生♥部♥-莫桑比克
军情七处在非洲的大灾难
难道非他不可吗
Does it have to be him?
线人只肯跟他接头
He’s the only one our contact will talk to.
已解雇
他现在在哪
So where is he?
你来这儿是为了抛开耻辱的过往
You came here to forget your life of shame.
西♥藏♥群山
但你的重生之路
But the path you must tread
实非易事 英格力士
to new life will be not be easy, English.
我们的目标很明确
Our purpose here is simple.
就是化弱为强
To strengthen what is weak.
化软为硬
Make hard what is soft.
这一切都需要时间
This will take time.
意志是身体的主人
Mind must be master of the body.
顽强的意志 何惧上刀山下火海
Strong mind can separate the body from its suffering.
集中精神 英格力士
Good concentration, English.
什么 烫烫烫
Sorry? Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
你虽青春不再
You are not young.
但姜还是老的辣
But with age comes wisdom.
若然意志能控制好身体
When mind is master of the body,
你定能重出江湖
you will be warrior once more.
大♥师♥ 我前路何如
Master, what is my destiny?
我和更高层联♥系♥过
I’m in touch with a higher power.
军情七处希望你搭最快的航♥班♥回伦敦
MI7 wants you on the first flight back to London.
大♥师♥ 我准备好了吗
Master, am I ready?
为时尚早
No.
靠窗还是走道
Window seat or aisle?
旅客 英格力士
座位号♥ 6A 靠窗
目的地 伦敦
出发地 西♥藏♥
红海
索马里
突尼斯
扫描中
目的地 伦敦
东芝
英国情报局
请稍等 先生 早上好
One moment, please. Good morning, sir.
东芝英国情报局
Toshiba British Intelligence.
需要电子产品请按一
For electronic products press one.
连线特工请按二
To speak to an agent, press two.
东芝英国情报局
您的专属情报局
当然 先生 麻烦您重新输入我们的网址好吗
Certainly, sir. Can I redirect you to our website?
www.spyingforyou.gov.uk
www.spyingforyou.gov.uk.
东芝英国情报局
Toshiba British Intelligence.
先生 早上好 有什么能帮助您的
Good morning, sir. Can I help you?
约翰尼·英格力士
Johnny English.
帕加索斯在等你
Pegasus is expecting you.
请看镜头
Look into the camera.
别笑
Don’t smile.
憨豆特工
帕姆拉·桑顿 军情七处的总管
Pamela Thornton, Head of MI7.
约翰尼·英格力士
Johnny English.
请坐
Have a seat.
你走了有一段时间了 英格力士
You’ve been away for some time, English.
我们可没忘记你
But you haven’t been forgotten.
走开
Come on.
这里还常说起你在莫桑比克的冒险
People here often talk about your adventures in Mozambique.
军情七处从你走后又进步了许多
Well, MI7 has come a long way since then.
什么枪战 飞车
The guns, the fast cars,
沙文主义那一套 都过时了
and the chauvinism are all on their way out.
坦白说 我不乐意看到你回来
Frankly, I didn’t want to see you back.
你就是我要改革的东西
You are everything I came into this service to change.
可惜这事我做不了主
But my hands are tied.
总有些时候
And there are times when
人会和明智的抉择背道而驰
one has to go against one’s better judgement.
我们有个新情况
We have a situation.
不错
Indeed.
这有只乖猫咪 有只乖猫咪
There’s a good puss. There’s a good puss.
这有只乖猫咪 她是谁
There’s a good pussy. Who’s a good pussy?
-我很意外 -她是谁
– I’m impressed. – Who’s a good pussy?
菲白从不让陌生人抱它
Philby never lets strangers pick him up.
在动物世界里 我总能获得特权
I’m very much at one with the animal kingdom.
这有只乖猫咪 我知道 我知道
There’s a good puss. I know, I know.
谁是小可爱 小可爱是谁
Who’s lovely? Who’s lovely?
谁…
Who…
我们都是小可爱
We’re all lovely.
凯特·萨姆纳 行为治疗师
Kate Sumner, our behavioural psychologist.
久仰您的大名
I’ve heard a great deal about you.
想必都是盛赞
Glowing reports, I trust.
跟我说说 萨姆纳女士
Tell me, Ms. Sumner,
行为治疗师的工作是什么
what exactly does a behavioral psychologist do?
观察深层心理的外在表象
Monitor observable behavior for signs of internal psychology.
我们读人
We read people.
找时间聚聚
Well, we must get together sometime.
你肯定会觉得我是本好书
I think you’ll find me a real page-turner.
帕加索斯 说说现况吧
So, Pegasus, this situation.
前中情局特工提图斯·费舍尔
Ex-CIA agent Titus Fisher
从香港联♥系♥我们
has contacted us from Hong Kong.
他的情报显示 有人要在下周的中英会谈时
He has intelligence of a plot to assassinate the Chinese Premier
暗♥杀♥中国总理
at the Anglo-Chinese talks next week.
需要你去弄清他确切的情报内容
We need you to go and find out what he’s got.
既然如此 帕加索斯 我去
Well, in that case, Pegasus, count me in.
一号♥特工会在楼下见你
Agent One will meet you downstairs.
结果 我就爬上墙头
So, I just scaled the walls,
把那鬼地方炸成平地
blew the whole place to kingdom come.
一小时后
An hour later I’m sitting
我已经手拿鸡尾酒坐在酒吧里
in the bar with a White Russian in my hand.
跟你们说 那也是相当惬意
Who was very lovely, too, I can tell you.
西蒙
Simon.
你好 约翰尼
Hello, Johnny!
西蒙
Simon,
春风得意啊 不过你一向如此
you look wonderful. But, then, you always did.
欢迎回来 你走了多久
Welcome back. How long has it been?
不知道
I don’t know.
五年三个月又六天 左右吧
Five years, three months and six days, or something.
当然 莫桑比克
Of course, Mozambique.
那可当真是一团糟啊
That was a balls-up with a cherry on top.
快来 给你打扮打扮
Come on, let’s get you sorted.
欢迎来到玩具专柜
Welcome to the toy cupboard.
我可不会把号♥码给你
I won’t leave you my number.
你知道帕奇
You know Patch.
帕奇·柯特蒙就是他
Patch Quartermain, the man himself.
英格力士
English.
不用起来
Please, don’t get up.
想起也起不来
No chance of that.
测试B-6爆♥炸♥鞋时炸掉了
Lost them testing the B-6 exploding brogues.
很抱歉 还好吗
Oh, I’m so sorry. How are you?
只能握这只手了
Have to be this one, I’m afraid.
D-10爆♥炸♥门铃把它炸了
Lost this to the D-10 doorbell.
很高兴看到你还活着
Ah. Well, it’s great to see what’s left of you.
这轮椅很不错 最高时速六十英里
This is rather good fun, actually. Top speed of 60 mph,
我还添了点小零件
and I’ve managed to add the odd thing.
这边 我可没时间耗
This way. I haven’t got all day.
别按
Don’t!
别瞎捣乱好吧 英格力士
Would you stop meddling, English?
她在这呢
Here she is.
劳斯莱斯幻影
Ah, the Rolls-Royce Phantom.
应该说劳斯莱斯自动版
Truly the Rolls-Royce of automobiles.
装甲钢板 还有好多小玩意儿
Armour plating, all the bells and whistles.
说句”发动”
Say “Bonnet.”
-发动 -命令接受
– Bonnet. – Command accepted.