泽西女孩（2004）

铃响了,大家坐好
Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell.
上个礼拜
You know what it means. Last week,
布置的作业是写一篇关于自己家庭的作文
the assignment was to write an essay about your family.
他们是…- 什么人!
Who they… – Are!
他们对我们而言……
And what they…
意味着什么!
Mean to us!
很好,那么就请拿出你们的作文
Excellent droning. So I want everyone to take out their essays.
在全班面前大声朗读出来
We’re going to read them aloud to the class right up here.
我娘说我和我爹特能吃
My mom says that me and my dad have very healthy appetites.
我爸我妈是虔诚的教♥徒♥.
My mom and dad are very religious.
每晚总能听到他们在睡房♥里,呼喊, “天哪!”
When they’re in their bedroom at night, I always hear them yelling, “Jesus!”
我妈妈说我爸爸的眼睛是褐色的因为他浑身上下都是大…
My mom says my dad’s eyes are brown because he is so full of sh…
布赖恩!
Brian!
我哥杰克上八年级了.
My brother Jack is in eighth grade.
他叫我去问爹…
He told me to ask my dad who he voted for…
选总统的时候投谁的票.
for… for President.
我问了，我爹说他支持布♥什♥.
I did and my Dad said he’s a total Bush-man.
我哥听了几乎笑死.
That made my brother laugh really hard.
每次司徒舅舅来找我爹玩撞球,
Whenever my Uncle Stu comes over to play pool with my dad,
我妈说地下室闻上去就好像在上演奇奇和阿冲的闹剧.
my mom says the basement smells like a Cheech and Chong movie.
就象那样.
Well… it’s like this.
我家的狗把作业给吃了
My dog ate my paper.
我阻止来着, 可它就是不听.
I checked, but he didn’t poop it out.
很有趣，埃瑟瑞德先生
What a lovely sentiment, Mr. Etheridge.
恐怕你家的狗要吃零蛋了而你也跑不掉哦.
Maybe your dog can eat the zero you’ll be receiving too.
糟了
Aw, man! – Harsh.
特里克小姐，轮到你了
Miss Trinke? It’s your turn now.
我爸爸说生活可一分为二
My dad says life can be split into two categories:
新泽西… 和纽约.
New Jersey… and New York.
他曾是个泽西男孩，而后来
My dad was a Jersey boy who became the youngest
他成为纽约最年轻有为的音乐发行人
and most successful music publicist in New York City.
27岁时，他手下雇员达100人
By the time he was 27, he had 1 00 people working for him.
他们都喜欢他,而他，更爱他们.
And even though they all loved him, he loved them even more.
伙计们宣传干将们.
My fellow flacks and spin doctors.
干杯.
Salud.
虽说我爸爸是个工作狂，但还远不及他对我妈妈的疯狂
Daddy loved his job, but not as much as he loved my mom.
当他们相识时，我妈在正纽约当编辑.
Mommy was a book editor in New York City when her and Daddy met.
爸爸说他们俩的工作有些相似…
Daddy said their jobs were kind of the same…
为他们的客户纠正小错误
they made slight corrections for their clients.
我的朋友，乔治麦克就是个拉皮条的.总是离不开女人
Because George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies, my friend.
“我要你”? 这是对男人唱的歌♥吗?
Come on, “l Want Your Sex”? That sound like he’s singing to a guy?
爸爸的工作太忙，有时妈妈要等很晚了才能见到他
Daddy worked so much that sometimes Mommy could only see him late at night.
爸爸说这是他们深爱那座城市的原因
Daddy says that’s why they both loved the city so much –
那是一座不夜城
it never went to sleep.
而对于我的父母来说，更是如此
And neither did him and Mommy.
经过在纽约浪漫的一年时光
But after a year of romance in New York City,
爸爸说到了该让妈妈瞧瞧他的故乡的时候啦
Daddy said it was time to show Mommy where he came from.
于是带着她回到新泽西，置身于他所向她讲述过的地方
So he took her home to New Jersey and put her through what he said
这是爱情所面对的最大一次考验
was the biggest test their love would ever face :
“带她去见爷爷. ”
“Introducing her to my pop. ”
嗨, 您好吗?- 你好?
Hey, how are ya? – How’re ya doin’?
这是格特鲁德.
How’re ya doin’ yourself? – This is Gertrude.
嗨.圣诞快乐.
Hi. Merry Christmas.
特里克先生，您从事哪一行?- “特里克先生”太见外了. 叫我巴特.
And what do you do, Mr. Trinke? – Easy on the “Mr. Trinke”. It’s Bart.
30年来，我一直为镇政♥府♥工作
I work for the borough, for 30 years now.
他是这里唯一的持证清道车驾驶员
He’s the only man in Highlands licensed to operate the street sweeper.
我一直都盼望着有一天能坐上那个呐
Oh, man, I always wanted to ride in one of those things.
如果你不把我儿子甩了,我就带你坐上它兜风去.
Well, you continue seeing my son, I can probably get you a turn at the wheel.
我原本呢，只想和他度几个良宵然后就一脚蹬了
I was only gonna sleep with him a few more times and then dump him,
但现在, 既然有这好处…
but now, after an offer like that…
真不赖.听听着张利嘴!
Holy shit. Listen to the mouth on this one!
哦，现在的姑娘可和妈那时不一样了,对吧，老爸?
Oh, yeah, they don’t make ’em like Mom anymore, do they, Dad?
现在, 我要去酒吧.- 难得啊
Now, listen, I’m goin’ to the bar. – What a shock.
如果你们要趁我不在做点什么,别在我床上哦.
If you guys are gonna do anything while I’m gone, stay the hell off of my bed.
您要去酒吧?- 他没告诉你么? 我可是酒鬼呢.
You’re going to a bar? – Didn’t he tell ya? I’m an alcoholic.
好啊, 我也想去酒吧呢.- 不，你不会喜欢那种地方的.
Well, I wanna go to the bar too. – No, you don’t wanna go to this bar.
那里到处都是一帮喜欢谈陈年旧事的家伙.
It’s a bunch of old guys talkin’ about how good they had it under Kennedy.
这小子还是个圣人呢.
The man was a goddamn saint.
那我和你♥爸♥去，你若愿意也可来
I’m goin’ to the bar with your dad. You can come if you want.
我才不去，好吧，我就留在这儿洗盘子
No, that’s OK. I’ll stay here and do the dishes.
既然我能做饭，为何不能洗盘子？
I only cooked. Why shouldn’t I clean?
请自便，但别洗这一碟
Suit yourself. But don’t wash that pan.
我留了一层酱汁准备烧猪肉卷的，别让你给冲掉了
I got a layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don’t want you scrubbin’ it off.
爸爸，这些”酱汁” 都是脂肪啊
That “juice” is called grease, Dad.
对您有害，它会堵塞血管的
It’s bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
这叫做酱汁. 正是它滋润了你父亲的肠胃
It’s called juice. And it greases a father’s insides
这样在他的儿子不辞辛劳的来探望他的时候
so that he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year
他才能享受儿子一年两次的奉养
when he can be bothered coming to visit him.
于是那晚,爸爸带着妈妈去了爷爷的酒吧
So that night, Daddy took Mommy to Pop’s bar,
在那儿她遇上爷爷的另一些孩子,
where she got to meet Pop’s other children,
他最好的朋友格林和布洛克.
his best friends Greenie and Block.
嘿，你家的小子在跳摇摆呢.
Hey, your kid’s cuttin’ a rug.
你以为自己是谁啊, 康妮 钟吗?
Who are you, Connie Chung?
爸爸说，妈妈搞定了这次泽西之旅,
Daddy said, because Mommy survived her first trip to Jersey,
他们将厮守终生.
he knew she was a keeper.
他们出去吃了顿匹萨，作为庆祝订婚.
He said they celebrated their engagement by going out for pizza.
于是后来就有了我.
And that’s how I got here.
要不要偷一些充足家用?
Do we have enough of these at home, or should I steal some?
如果要偷点什么,就弄些橡胶手套吧.
If you’re gonna steal something, steal some rubber gloves.
谢谢!- 别客气!
Thank you! – You’re welcome!
如此看来，后来每个人都过上幸福的生活
And with that, everyone lived happily ever after.
几乎如此.
Almost.
两分钟后我们就出发，行不？
Look, you’ve got two minutes, and then we have to go, OK?
我得走了.- 别催了，行吗?
Or I’m gonna leave. – Would you stop rushing me?
弄不懂怎么会有人用一整天的时光坐在那里准备
I don’t understand how somebody who had all day sitting around to get ready
直到我们出发前20分钟!
waits till 20 minutes before we have to leave!
你想让每件事都照你的方式完成么!
You try getting anything accomplished with this big gut in your way!
一年中就这么几天，如果我迟到就会被解雇!
This is one of the few days of the year that I can be fired for being late!
奥利,你想要生孩子的话,就该和我打个招呼!
Anytime that you wanna carry this baby, Ollie, you let me know! OK?
我也愿意穿着正常的礼服，而不是这顶帐篷!
I would be glad to go back to wearing regular dresses instead of this tent!
衣服看上去够好了，挺华丽的，美极了
The dress looks fine. It’s gorgeous, OK? It’s beautiful.
哼, 当我站到珍妮杰克逊和雪莉克罗边上时.
Yeah, until I’m standing next to Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow.
你就会发现这有多“好”.
Then you’ll see how not fine it looks.
格蒂, 求你了, 用你自己的梳子,好么?
Gertie, I asked you, please, to use your own brush, OK?
你能用你自己的梳子么?- 别这样.
Can you just not use my brush? – Don’t start.
每当我要梳头发
It’s just that every time I wanna comb my hair
都要用15分钟从梳子上清理这些长长的头发.
I spend 1 5 minutes taking these long, bushy hairs out of my brush.
我是说, 你要我…
And I mean, you ask me to…
对不起.
I’m sorry.
宝贝, 对不起.
Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
你都不明白胖成这样是什么滋味!
You don’t understand what it’s like to be this fat!
以前我很苗条的,而现在成了一头令人恶心的猪!
I’ve always been thin, and now I’m a disgusting pig!
这还是我初次参加音乐电视颁奖典礼呢
And it’s my first time going to the Video Music Awards
所有姑娘都纤细可人而我却象头鲸鱼!
and all the other girls are gonna be skinny, and I’m gonna look like a whale!
宝贝, 宝贝, 随她们纤细可人去吧她们都是磕药的骚货.
Baby, baby, they’re just skinny ’cause they’re all coked-out whores.
我也要做磕药的骚货!
I wanna be a coked-out whore!
好吧, 你也能做磕药的骚货.
OK, you can be a coked-out whore too.
你也能做磕药的, 磕药的骚货.
You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.
对不起.- 我该更细心些. 对不起
I’m sorry. – I should be more sensitive. I’m sorry.
我该更细心些, 甜心
I should be more sensitive, honey. I know.
是的.- 我晓得.
Yes. – I know.
宝贝,现在我们得走了，好么?- 好的.
Baby, we have to go now, OK? – OK.
我爱你. 我们走吧.- 好的.
I love you. We have to go now. – OK.
我也爱你.- 好的, 咱们走吧?
I love you too. – All right, let’s go. OK?
再等两分钟.
Just give me two minutes.
几点了?- 过了20分钟.
What time is it? – 20 after.
她会杀了我的!- 我需要引用玛当娜那一段.
She’s gonna kill me! – I need the quote for the Madonna release.
“玛当娜相信公众会有自己的判断…
OK. “Madonna trusts the public will judge for itself that…
最近在音乐电视中的重大突破
this latest in a long line of breakthrough music videos
并非像他们所指责的是低俗的色情场面.”
is not the tasteless sexploitation it’s accused of being.”