宋飞之前是杰瑞（2017）

Which none of us
had ever experienced anything like that,
都没有过的经验
socially, in our lives,
prior to that moment.
一定要是有社交障碍的人
才能面对这种事
You know, you had to be a dysfunctional
social person to confront this.
一定要很绝望
很绝望
-You had to be desperate.
-Desperate.
对
Yeah.
你们还有想知道的事吗？
What else would you like to know?
我们讲到很多事了
大都会队出了什么问题？
-We’ve covered many things.
-[man] What’s wrong with the Mets?
这个嘛，那是棒球
Well, it’s baseball,
没人在乎
and nobody cares.
先生，有件事你要知道
Here’s the thing about sports
you’ve got to understand, sir.
球队的这个概念
你的球队、我的球队
This whole concept of the team –
your team, my team…
“嘿，那是我们的球队
大都会队是我们的球队”
“Hey, that’s our team.
The Mets, that’s our team.”
是吗？那些人是谁？
他们是哪里人？
Really? Is it our team?
Who are these guys? Where are they from?
他们不是纽约人
他们只是为了钱才穿上队服的
They’re not from around here.
They’re just paid to wear those clothes.
在体育界只有队服是不会变的
The uniform
is the only constant in the sport.
球员都会跳槽到别的球队
The guys are moving around,
different teams,
球队也会跳槽到别的城市
teams are moving from different towns.
我们其实只是在为我们的制♥服♥加油
We’re really just rooting for our clothes
希望他们可以打败
其他城市球队的另一组制♥服♥
to defeat the clothes
from the team of the other city.
这就是体育的重点
That’s what sports is.
我们只是在为衣服加油，没了
We are rooting for laundry
and nothing else.
我一直觉得有一点很奇怪
I always find it weird how upset we get
有人离开我们的球队后
变成对手，我们会生气
when a guy leaves your team
and then he plays against your team.
“他穿不一样的队服，我讨厌他
“Different shirt! I hate this guy!”
真不敢相信他竟然会穿那件队服”
“I can’t believe he’s wearing that shirt!”
我们平常遇到的人
都会穿不一样的衣服啊
Everyone you see every day
is wearing a different shirt.
我们又不会生气
You don’t get upset with them
for some reason. I don’t know.
但我为你们今天穿的衣服感到很兴奋
But I’m excited for the clothes
that you’re wearing tonight.
你们的衣服出来了
今天对它们来说也很重要
Your clothes got out.
That’s a big night for them, too.
衣服无时无刻都在等待
Clothes are waiting all the time.
在店里、衣柜、洗衣篮、抽屉等待
They’re waiting in the store,
closet, hamper, drawer.
你们现在没在穿的衣服都在家里
希望明天会被挑到
Everything you’re not wearing now is home,
hoping to get picked tomorrow.
洗衣服的日子很令人兴奋
洗衣机等于是衣服的夜店
Laundry day is another exciting day.
The washing machine is a nightclub for clothes.
很暗、有很多泡泡，大家都在跳舞
It’s dark, bubbles are happening,
they’re all dancing.
它们看起来像在跳舞，对吧？
They seem to kind of dance in there,
don’t they?
衣服会抓着内♥裤♥说“宝贝，我们走”
The shirt grabs the underwear,
“Come on, babe, let’s go.”
你来掀开盖子的时候，它们就会停住
You come by,
you open up the lid, they all freeze.
“你可以关上门吗？这是私人夜店
“Could you close the door, please?
It’s kind of a private club.”
我们有规定穿着
现场也没有任何毒品”
“There’s a dress code,
no one’s allowed to be on anything.”
然后小杰瑞的喜剧冒险
Now, things progressing along
也发生了一些进展
in little Jerry’s comedy adventure.
我有钱到可以请女佣
I got to a point
where I could afford a maid.
第一次，大家都会记得这些第一次
The first time…
You remember these little firsts.
我记得我第一次有钱请女佣
我从头到尾都很有罪恶感
I remember the first time I could afford a maid,
I felt so guilty the whole time.
跟着她在公♥寓♥里到处走
I was following her around the apartment.
“我不知道我为什么
会把那个丢在那里，抱歉
“I don’t know why I left that there.
I’m sorry. I…”
我可以捡起来的，我应该要捡起来的
“Obviously I could have picked it up.
I should have.
但我没有捡，我不知道为什么
I just didn’t, and I don’t know why.
我没有藉口，我很抱歉”
I have no excuse. I apologize for that.”
就是因为这样，我绝对不可能当仆人
因为我一定…
This is why I could never be a maid,
because that’s the attitude…
我的态度一定很差
“你连这个都做不了吗？
I would walk in the house.
“Oh, I suppose you couldn’t do this?”
没关系，我来帮你打扫
“No, no, no. Let me clean up your filth…
你就像个有信托基金的地铁老鼠一样
好好坐在那里吧
while you just sit there
like a subway rat with a trust fund.”
你真是有够恶心”
“You make me sick!”
袜子很讨厌自己的人生，大家都知道
臭脚丫、无聊的抽屉
Socks hate their lives, we know that.
They’re on the stinky feet, the boring drawers.
它们最期待洗衣服
They wait for the laundry.
那是它们脱逃的唯一机会
它们都知道
That’s their one chance to escape,
and they all know it.
你们遇到过几次洗完衣服之后
How many times have you done a wash,
丢去烘衣机，数一数袜子
go to the dryer, count up your socks,
结果少了一只？
one of them got out?
它就这样逃走了
每次都丢下它的搭档
Escaped, took off.
Never takes his partner!
“你去死吧，我受够了
所有人都觉得我们是一样的”
“To hell with you! Tired of everyone
thinking we’re the same!”
然后烘衣机的门打开
袜子靠在边边等着
The dryer door swings open, the sock
is always waiting up against the sidewall.
你只能到处摸
“它一定在里面，那个王八蛋
You’re feeling around. “I know
he’s in there, that little son of a bitch.
我知道它想要逃走”
I know he’s trying to get away!”
有时候，它们会先抓住毛衣准备逃走
Sometimes they grab onto a sweater,
gives them a head start.
然后它们就会在路上逃跑
And off they go down the street.
[hums tune]
它能做什么？它要怎么生存下去？
What can he do?
How is he going to survive out there?
去高尔夫球俱乐部、演偶戏
给截肢的人穿，还有什么选择？
On a golf club, puppet show, amputee.
What are the options?
有时候会在路上看到一只脏袜子
就单一只而已
Sometimes you see a dirty sock
on the street, just one.
很脏又纠结在一起，很累的样子
Just dirty, twisted, exhausted.
它只逃跑了几个街区
He only made it a couple of blocks.
被它抛下的搭档呢？
What about his partner left behind?
它还有什么选择？
What are his options?
“就因为它逃跑，我就要被丢掉？
这不公平
“Oh, now I’m going to get thrown out
because of him? How is that fair?”
抽屉里的所有袜子
都知道它总有一天会做这种事
“The whole drawer knew he was going
to pull a stunt like this someday.
所以它才每次都内外相反
That’s why he was always inside out
and rolling down.
它从一开始就不是我们的一分子”
He wasn’t one of us to begin with.”
我说过我爸妈来这里看我表演
So I told you
my parents came to see me here.
他们那时候已经搬去佛州了
They had already moved to Florida
by then, anyway.
他们也不想搬去佛州
不过他们老了，法律规定要搬
They didn’t want to move to Florida.
They got old and that’s the law, so…
有个高尔夫球车，响着警铃停在门口
A little golf cart pulled up with a siren.
“走吧，白裤子、白皮带和白鞋子
快上车，我们都准备好了
“Let’s go, pop. White pants, belt and shoes.
Get in the car. I got it all ready for you.
你必须离开，这部分已经结束了”
You’re out of here. This part’s over.”
去佛州见我爸妈的时候
Visiting my parents in Florida in these…
我不懂佛州那些
像是最低安全级别监狱的地方
I don’t get those minimum-security
prison places that they like down there.
门口有个小警卫室
有杆子降下来挡住你的车