宋飞之前是杰瑞（2017）

好戏接着上场
我的…
[Johnny Carson] My uh…
1981年5月6日
下一位来宾是个搞笑艺人
他首次登上《今夜秀》舞台
…next guest is a young comedian
making his debut on The Tonight Show.
他是纽约市人
He is from New York City.
他在纽约和洛杉矶的
很多间俱乐部表演过
He’s worked a lot of small clubs,
both in New York and Los Angeles.
欢迎杰瑞塞菲德
Welcome him, please; Jerry Seinfeld.
在纽约的70年代中期
[Jerry Seinfeld] In mid-70s New York,
大家只会在两个地方
看到新的搞笑艺人
there were only two places
you could even see new comedians.
单口相声搞笑艺人很不主流
A stand-up comedian
was just a novelty act.
只会在歌♥手或摇滚乐团表演前暖场
They would have one
in front of a singer or a rock band,
当时我的梦想就是要站上那种舞台
and just to be that
was the most glorious dream of my life.
那是我唯一的目标
That’s all I wanted.
我决定孤注一掷的当下
刚好就坐在一个窗边
And it’s funny, but I was actually sitting on a ledge
when I decided to make that leap,
就在这里
right here.
就是这个地方
And this is the exact spot.
Inky Dinky Wang Dang Doo” playing]
NETFLIX 原创喜剧特辑
♪ Inky dinky wang dang doo ♪
福特总统叫纽约市去死
♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪
♪ Baby, baby I love you ♪
解决纽约市破产危机
漫画喜剧俱乐部
南码头
♪ Inky dinky zigzag zoo ♪
罗斯福岛
♪ Oh, girl, I got my eyes on you ♪
漫画喜剧俱乐部
1976年创立
♪ Inky dinky zing zang zoo ♪
♪ I want a kiss from your lips ♪
♪ Inky dinky ding dang doo… ♪
你们这群观众真棒
准备好看表演了吗？
You guys are a good group.
Are you ready for the show?
那太好了，好
Yes? OK, good for you guys. Great.
他是在1976年夏天
来到漫画喜剧俱乐部
He started here uh… as one of
the regulars here at The Comic Strip
担任了固定班底而发迹的
back in the summer of 1976.
我们一起欢迎他回家吧
Let’s welcome him back home.
杰瑞塞菲德！
Jerry Seinfeld!
漫画喜剧俱乐部
♪ Zingy zangy zing zang zow ♪
♪ Sweet darling, and I’ve got to have
Your loving right now… ♪
有没有搞错？
Are you kidding me?
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢大家
Thank you very much.
谢谢，很高兴能来这里
Thank you. Nice to be here.
真不敢相信我回来了
I can’t believe I’m back here.
太棒了，谢谢
This is really great. Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢，你们喜欢这件西装外套吗？
Thank you very much.
How do you like the jacket?
这是我最喜欢的西装外套
Yeah, this is my favorite jacket.
今天晚上很特别
我想穿我最特别的西装外套
It’s a special night
and I want to wear my special jacket,
因为我回到了漫画喜剧俱乐部
because I’m back at the Comic Strip,
这里是我整个演艺事业的起点
which is where I started
my entire career –
就是在这个舞台
right here, on this stage.
我会把整个故事都讲给你们听
And uh I’ll tell you the whole story.
我会把所有事都告诉你们
I’ll tell you how it all happened.
我当时住在马萨皮夸
I was living in Massapequa.
我是在布鲁克林出生的
I’m born in Brooklyn.
我的出生地是在那里
That’s my home borough.
然后我爸妈就搬到了马萨皮夸
这名字是原住民语
And then my parents moved out
to Massapequa, which is an Indian name.
意思是“在购物中心旁边”
It means “by the mall.”
就连原住民当初都能预知
Even the Native Americans could sense,
只要犹太人和义大利人来到这里
once the Jews
and the Italians get out here…
实体卖♥♥场就会变得很兴盛
brick-and-mortar retail’s going to crush.
赶快把帐篷拆了，这些人需要停车场
Let’s lose the teepees.
These people need parking.
所以我们就搬离了市区
搬到长岛上去
So we moved out from the city
to on Long Island.
我们不会说住在长岛里
会说住在长岛上
You don’t live in Long Island,
you live on Long Island.
住在市区里的人被问起的话
When you live in the city,
people ask you, “Where do you live?”
就会回答自己住在市区里
you go, “We live in the city.”
不是住在市区上
You don’t live on the city.
但只要搬离了市区里
But if you move out of the city…
只要离开了
You’re in it now. Now if you go out,
就是在岛上
you’re going to be on the island.
长岛不是那种…
Long Island’s
not one of those places you…
没有什么好进去里面的地方
没有什么…
You can’t get in it. There’s nothing…
没有可以扎根落地的地方
你就只是待在那上头
There’s nothing to get in.
You just stay on it.
我爸妈会说
“我们今天要进市区，准备好
My parents would say, “Jerry, we’re going
to the city today, so get ready.
我们要进市区
We’re going in.”
我们要上地铁”
“We’re going to get on the train.”
我们不是进地铁
We don’t get in the train.
是上地铁
You get on the train,
虽然地铁车厢上面根本没人
even though you see trains,
there’s nobody on it.
地铁车厢上面从来不会有人
You never see anybody on top of a train.
但说法就是这样
如果想住在这里，就要照这样讲话
But that’s how you talk.
If you want to live here, this is how you talk.
我们要上地铁，为什么要上地铁？
“We’re going to get on the train.”
Why do you get on the train?
为什么？
Why?
因为之后要下地铁
So you can get off it!
“要下地铁了
“Get off the train!
我们要下这站
This is our stop!”
我们得进计程车”
“We’ve got to get in the cab.”
不是上计程车
You don’t get on the cab.
地铁要用上的，但计程车就不一样了
You were on the train,
but you don’t get on the cab.
是进计程车
You get in the cab.
为什么要进计程车？
Why do you get in the cab?
因为之后要出计程车
So you can get out!
我们得出计程车
“You’ve got to get out of the…
“我们到了，出计程车，我们到了
We’re here.
Get out of the cab. We’re here.”
你为什么还在计程车里？
快出计程车”
“Why are you still in the cab?
Get out of the cab.”
好吧，杰瑞，那优步呢？
“OK, Jerry, what about Uber?
优步要怎么讲？这是新玩意
What do you do with Uber?”
That’s the new thing.
是进优步吗？不是
Do you get in it? No.
是上优步吗？不是
On it? No.
是下优步吗？不是
Off it? No.
优步要怎么讲？
What do you do with Uber?
叫优步
找优步
-[man] You grab it.
-[man] You get one.
不对…
No. No.
搭优步
[woman] You just take it.
是用搭的，搭优步
You take it! You take Uber!
因为不用付钱
Because there’s no money!
好像不用钱
我根本不知道是什么原理
It’s, like, free.
I don’t even know how it works.
我们需要付钱吗？
Do we even pay for that?
我觉得好像是免费的
买♥♥手♥机♥就有送的功能
I think it’s just a free thing,
comes with the phone.
只要随时打开
Any time you’re just like…
就会有小小的卡♥通♥车子来载你
Little cartoon cars,
they go wherever you want.
有人问你们怎么来的？