白烂贱客（2001）

and cornhole us a drunk.
休息休息
Yeah. Let’s go.
走吧
The whole fucking world’s against us, dude…
妈的 整个世界都和我们过不去…
I swear to God!
真的
Put the monkey down and your hands up!
举起手来 把猴子放下
Let’s do, misters! You wanna get shot?
照我的话做! 你们不想挨枪子儿吧
I didn’t think so.
量你们也不敢
Look, man, she doesn’t wanna go back to the lab.
你看 她不想回实验室了
And for the record, I ain’t gay.
告诉你一点 我不是同性恋
And for the record, while we’re on the subject…
我也告诉你们…
I knew that that wasn’t a real little boy.
我本来也不相信她是你们的孩子
For one more record, he loves the cock.
在告诉你一点 他是同性恋
On your knees, Texas Pete. Let’s go!
行了 都跪下
See, man? He’s lined us up like fucking circus seals.
你看 他把我们当马戏团的海豹使唤
Well, I’m going first.
我先走了
I don’t want a mouthful of monkey spit…
跟猩猩口♥交♥…
if I gotta blow this fucking G-man.
还不如和那个男的干
What are you talking about?
你在说些什么?
Look, no one’s gonna get blown…
没人让你口♥交♥…
Shit!
妈的
These guys are good.
这些家伙不要命了
Very good.
真的不要命了
Hey, law dog!
傻瓜!
See you in hell, cock-smoker!
地狱见
Oh, fuck me!
妈的
Hey! Get the fuck off her!
把她放了
That’s my ex-girlfriend’s monkey!
那是我女朋友的猴子
That monkey don’t belong to you!
那只猴子不属于你!
Man, who the fuck just steals a monkey?
妈的 谁会去偷一只猴子?
Well, this fucking blows, man.
他妈的混♥蛋♥
We have one more day to stop these fucks…
我们只剩一天去阻止这些…
from shooting this movie…
混♥蛋♥拍电影…
and they fucking took the one thing I had left…
而且他们有拿走了我深爱的…
from the one woman I loved enough…
女人 我甚至都没碰过的女人…
not to stick my hand down her pants.
留下来的唯一的东西
What, go after the monkey?
什么? 去追猴子?
How the fuck do we know where that car’s going?
我们他妈的根本就不知道那辆车去哪里
Don’t just point like…
别老是比划…
Wh…you gotta take a shit.
你要拉屎
No, no, no, you gotta take a salad.
不是 不是 不是 你要吃沙拉
What the fuck are you trying to say?
你♥他♥妈♥的到底想说什么?
Just say it, man. Don’t make me ask twenty questions.
说出来 别老让我猜行吗?
You could always tell that stupid Amy story all the time…
你以前不是挺能说的吗…
but you can’t spit out fucking, “Yo, Jay, I disagree”…
像什么 杰 我不同意…
or “Yo, those are some good cheese fries.”
或者是 这些薯条很好吃
Just fucking say it already!
说出来不行吗
The sign on the back of the car…
那车后面写着…
said “Critters of Hollywood,” you dumb fuck!
好莱坞农场 你这个笨蛋
Say it, don’t spray it.
说就说吧 别喷我一脸唾沫
And might I add…
顺便说一句…
that is one fine-looking boy you are raising.
你们的孩子真可爱
if it isn’t the wildlife expert.
如果不是那的野生动物专家
Your office faxed this over.
从你们那来的传真
Now, the guy said it was a post from an internet chat board…
上面说在网上的一个聊天室里…
signed by a “Jay and Silent Bob.”
有人用 杰和鲍伯 的名字写了…
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay.
所有你们这些混♥蛋♥
You are the ones who are ball-lickers.
总有一天会有报应的
Gonna fuck your mothers while you watch…
当我们来到好莱坞的时候…
and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood, we…
就是你们哭天喊地的时候了…
They’re going to Hollywood.
他们要去好莱坞
You see me driving down the street
你看见我开车在街上
I look so fucking good
我长的真不错
What? It’s not like cheating. Justice blew up.
什么? 这不是欺骗 只是瞎掰
All right, here’s the plan. First we find out…
好了 这是我们的计划 首先 我们先去…
where they’re shooting this movie…
他们拍电影的地方…
and after we bust that shit up…
把他们修理了之后…
we can start looking for the monkey.
我们就去找猴子
But before we do any of that shit…
但是在行动之前…
we gotta find a motherfucker in the know…
我们必须要找个…
someone like the mayor of Hollywood.
熟悉好莱坞的人给我们带路
Crack? Want some crack?
要大♥麻♥吗?
Get you high?
能让你很舒服
No, man, but you want some weed?
不要 你要不要来点我的?
You on the job?
你也是卖♥♥这个的?
Yeah, boy!
当然!
Jersey Local 404.
新泽西的
Pumpkin Escobar, Los Angeles Local 305.
我们是洛杉矶的
Oh, shit! What up?
哈哈 太巧了
Aw, man, It’s a small world!
世界真小
Hey, let me ask you a question.
我有件事要问你
You dudes getting on medical out there in Jersey yet?
你们那里大♥麻♥合法了吗?
Shit, no. We might have to strike in September.
还没呐 可能要到九月份吧
Aw, man. “Norma Rae” like a motherfucker, huh?
还得受折磨呀
Yo, maybe you can help us out. You know where…
能帮我们个忙吗? 你知道…
they’re shooting a movie around here?
一般他们都在哪里拍电影
You asking me a question like that…
你在好莱坞问我…
in Hollyweird, man? You got to come…
这样的问题? 你还是…
a little bit more specific than that.
问的具体点儿
It’s a Miramax flick. We gotta bust it up…
叫米尔马♥克♥思♥的公♥司♥ 我们去铲了它
so people stop calling us names on the internet…
这样就没人在网上操♥我♥们了
even though they’re not really talking about us…
尽管他们不是有意针对我们
but characters based on us.
但我们就这脾气
And at the same time, find my ex-girlfriend…
同时 还要去找回…
who was killed in a car explosion’s monkey.
我那死去的女朋友的猴子
Man, I don’t know what the fuck you just said…
我不知道你在说些什么…
little kid, but you special, man.
但是你很特别
You reached out, and you touched a brother heart.
你深深感动了我
So I’m gonna give you some direction.
让我来告诉你怎么走
Gimme the map, Scott.
把地图拿出来
Gimme the map, Scott!
地图 赶快
You know where Miramax is at?
你知道米尔马♥克♥思♥在哪吗?
Miramax? Ha ha ha!
米尔马♥克♥思♥?
Is Hollywood ready for Jay and Silent Bob?
好莱坞真的要拍摄杰和鲍伯的电影吗?
A source at the Federal Wildlife Marshal’s office…
从联邦野生动物办公室的来的最新消息…
tells us that a posting was pulled off…
说在网上的一个电影版块上…
an internet movie chat board allegedly written…
那两个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
by the two domestic terrorists themselves.
留下了踪迹…
It’s sending a shockwave through Hollywood.
他们的下一个目标就是好莱坞
Jules Asner is on the scene at Miramax Studios. Jules?
朱尔斯在米尔马♥克♥思♥的影音工作室工作?
Steve, the tenor of Tinsel town is one of terror today…
据联邦野生动物办公室…
after the Federal Wildlife Marshal’s office has learned…
高级官员的可靠消息透露…
that hot new terrorists Jay and Silent Bob…
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 杰与鲍伯…
have targeted Miramax Studios…
已经把米尔马♥克♥思♥公♥司♥…
for their next campaign of blood, violence…
作为他们下一个目标…
and monkey theft.
这些暴徒和偷候贼
In a posting pulled off of Moviepoopshoot.com…
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥在网上的留下了…
the gruesome twosome threatened, and I quote…
可怕的威胁 我摘录一些…
Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax…
当我们来到好莱坞 找到米尔马♥克♥思♥的时候…
expletive deleted… who are making…
脏话在这里省去… 找到那些…
the Bluntman and Chronic movie…
拍摄 大烟鬼和钝男 的人…
we’re gonna make them eat our …expletive deleted…
我们会让他们吃我们的 …
then… expletive deleted… out our…
然后… 拉出来…
expletive deleted… then eat their… expletive deleted…
然后再吃进去 …
which is made up of our… expletive deleted…
再拉出来的…
that we made them eat. Unquote.
让他们吃个没完
So far we’ve been unable to get a statement…
到目前为止 我们还没能…
from anybody here at the studio.
得到工作室人员对此事的看法
But no sign of Jay and Silent Bob?
一点杰和鲍伯的消息都没有吗?
None whatsoever…
一点都没有…
what Jay and Silent Bob even look like…
连杰和鲍伯长得什么样子都不知…