白烂贱客（2001）

with almost no mention of the diamond heist.
根本就没提到钻石被盗的事情
I told you those two were the perfect patsies.
我告诉过你他们俩傻到家了
Don’t you have any regret?
难道你们不觉的愧疚吗?
Jay and Bob don’t deserve this. They were really sweet.
杰和鲍伯不应该落到这样的下场 他们真的很好
The only thing I regret is not gutting…
我唯一后悔的就是…
that little trout-mouth prick like a fish…
没能把他们俩…
and playing twister with his vitals. Mmm!
狠狠得教训一顿
You know, I don’t get you, Justice.
我不知道你怎么了 杰斯特
You used to be all about this girl stuff…
你以前总是和我们在一起…
stealing, boning, blowing shit up…
到处偷 抢 骗…
and now you’re like this little priss with a conscience.
现在你怎么变得心这么软了?
It’s really a fucking drag.
我们不能永远干这种事
We all gotta grow up sometime.
我们必须得为以后打算
Oh, if moping around over some boy…
如果为一个你喜欢的男人…
you’re crushing on is growing up…
郁郁寡欢就是为以后打算的话…
then pass me my Wonder Woman Underoos. Ow!
就走吧 我的女超人
Yo, Marvelous Pizza coming thr…hey!
马尔维斯比萨馅饼来了
You the gals that ordered the pizza?
是你们几个叫的比萨?
This dopey bitch ordered a large plain…
外买♥♥全是她叫的…
but I could go for some hot thick Sicilian.
但是我想和你来点儿刺♥激♥的尝尝…
No charge, lady.
小姐 我不收钱了
Hurry!
快点!
I’m sorry, Jay.
对不起 杰
You know, Justice died trying to save this monkey…
杰斯特为了就这只猴子而死…
so maybe we should keep it around.
所以我想我们应该留下这只猴子
That way, we can honor her memory.
也算是她的敬意吧
Now ain’t you glad we came here to eat?
我们能跑出来真是幸运
And you were all piss-scared…
你还被警♥察♥吓的…
we’d get busted by the cops or something.
屁滚尿流…
You know what I say.
你还记得吧?
Fuck the police
操♥他♥妈♥的警♥察♥
Fuck, fuck, fuck the police
操… 操…
Yo, yo, fuck the police
操…
Fuck, fuck, fuck the police
操…
Yo, fuck them
操…
This is the Utah State Police.
这里是犹他州警♥察♥
Boys, we know you’re in there.
我们知道你们在里面
Come on out with your hands in the air…
举起手出来
and surrender the orangutan.
并且交出大猩猩
Think they’re talking about us?
他们是在说我们?
Sorry.
对不起
Don’t shoot.
别开枪
Hold your fire.
大家别开枪
Who the hell are you?
你♥他♥妈♥的是谁?
Federal Wildlife Marshal. Is the monkey in there?
联邦野生动物官员 猴子在里面吗?
The ape. What?
猿猴 什么?
Orangutan’s a member of the great ape family.
猩猩是猿猴的一种
It’s not a monkey.
不是猴子
Look, who’s the Federal Wildlife Marshal here?
谁才是联邦野生动物官员?
Me or you?
我还是你?
That’s what I thought. Can I use your…
这就对了 我能借一下你的…
Jay and Silent Bob.
杰和鲍伯听好了
Your C.L.I.T. doesn’t stand a chance.
你们的C.L.l.T.没希望了
Anyone not harboring…
你们带着…
a fugitive monkey in there should hit the deck.
那猩猩是逃不掉的
We are going to open fire.
再不出来我们就要开枪了
What the fuck are you waiting for?
你♥他♥妈♥的还等什么?
Get out there and give him the monkey.
出去把猴子给他们
Look, man, fucking maybe it ain’t so bad up at that lab.
说不定那个实验室也不是太差
Maybe they experiment on them by making them…
说不定他们的试验…
fuck a bunch of different good-looking monkeys.
就是给猴子整整容
We don’t know.
我们不知道
You stay out of this, you weepy little chimp.
你这个猩猩别来捣乱
Fuck, man, I’m no strategist.
我不是会想办法的人
You’re the guy who makes the blueprints.
你才是出主意的
I don’t have the fucking smarts of a little…
我他妈的不够聪明…
kid.
孩子
Do not shoot!
别开枪!
Don’t shoot!
别开枪!
We’re just, uh, trying to take our son…
我们只是想把我们的儿子…
out of this hostile environment.
从实验室里救出来
Their son?
他们的儿子?
Maybe they’re one of those gay couples.
也许他们是同性恋
Yeah, we’re gay…
对 我们是同性恋…
and this is our adopted love child.
这是我们收养的孩子
We’re not from around here.
我们不住在这里
Don’t make us go back to our liberal city home…
别让我们带着犹它州的…
with tales of prejudice and bigotry…
偏见与顽迷的传闻…
from in the heart of Utah.
回到我们那自♥由♥的家乡去
Oh, God, this is the last thing I need…
啊 天哪 如果…
a bunch of uppity homosexuals shooting their mouths off…
一帮自以为是的同行恋…
to the liberal media…
向媒体透露…
that the Federal Wildlife Marshal office persecutes gays.
野生动物协会的官员迫♥害♥同性恋…
Are you fucking crazy? Now, they may be gay…
你♥他♥妈♥的疯了吗? 他们可能是同性恋…
but that’s not their son. That’s the ape.
但那不是他们的儿子 那是只猩猩
I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, OK?
如果我看到 我当然认识什么是猩猩
And the only thing I do recognize right now…
但是现在我只知道…
is the political fiasco here that I’m about to avoid…
这是我要避开的政♥治♥丑闻…
by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.
我要放他们走
You are free to leave, sirs.
先生们 你们可以走了
Yes, you sirs.
是的 可以走了
So we can just go? Yes, sir.
我们真的可以走了? 是的
Please accept my apologies…
请接受我的道歉…
for detaining you and your unorthodox…
我不该扣留你们这种受到…
but constitutionally protected family unit.
宪法保护的 特别的家庭
Un-fucking-believable.
都他妈的疯了
I might add that’s one fine-looking boy…
顺便说一句 你们在这儿养的…
you’re raising there.
儿子真可爱
Hell, yeah. That’s cause he’s from my sperm.
当然 那是因为他是我的种
See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours…
有一次我和一个漂亮妞…
who I fuck on the side…
干了一夜…
so I’m not to be all the way gay…
所以说我也不完完全全是同性恋…
He loves the cock.
他才是真正的同性恋
Well, he certainly looks insatiable.
他看起来性♥欲♥很强
Bye bye. Bye bye.
再见 再见
Well, It’s not my way, but I’ll be damned…
虽然我不应该这么做 但是我更不能…
if there doesn’t go one happy family.
拆散一个幸福的家庭
All right, gang.
好了 大家
Let’s just shoot some tear gas into the diner…
现在让我们打点催♥泪♥弹♥进去
and then, when the guys come out with the monkey…
等他们和猴子出来就…
Fuck beans! That was them, wasn’t it?
妈的 他们是那帮匪徒?
Shit, I said you love the cock.
靠 我居然说你喜欢那玩意
I gotta be the craftiest motherfucker alive.
我真应该去演戏
Flee, fat ass, flee!
快跑 胖子 快跑
Head for the sewer!
往下水道那里跑
Stage dive!
潜水!
You fat fuck.
你太他妈胖了
Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.
朝他屁♥股♥上开一枪算是警告
Suck it in! Think thin! Think thin!
收腹 把自己变瘦
One rectal breach coming up.
屎要出来了
Suck it in! Gaah!
收腹
Incoming!
进来了
Just like Winnie the Pooh.
真玄啊
That was just an incredibly daring escape.
真是难以置信 逃掉了
All right, here’s the deal. You and your men stay up here.
现在的计划是这样 你和你的手下待在这里
When I corner him, I’ll call for backup.
当我把他们堵住 我就叫增援
I’m counting on you, Sheriff.
我靠你了 警长
You’ve taught me so much.
你教会了我很多东西
Fuck this asshole.
他妈的
Let’s go back to the station house…
我们回警局…