白烂贱客（2001）

But…
但是…
Kaboom, you little stoner fucks.
卡邦 你♥他♥妈♥的混♥蛋♥
Let’s go! It’s set!
赶快做 这是个圈套
All right!
好的!
What the fuck you looking at?
你♥他♥妈♥的看什么?
There ain’t any snacks here, man.
这里没蛇
Now, we got what we came for. Let’s get the fuck out of here.
我们找到东西了 赶快走吧
Yeah, I know It’s sad, man…
我知道这很恨糟…
but what are we supposed to do about it?
但我们应该做点什么?
Yo, just open the door!
赶快开门
Oh, shit.
妈的
Drop the bag! Now!
放下手里的东西!
No.
不
Justice.
杰斯特
Justice!
杰斯特
You mind if I leave that… there?
如果我把它丢在这 你介意吗?
Is that…
那是…
My, oh, my, oh, my.
我的妈呀!
Who let the cats out, huh?
谁把猫放出来道的?
Wait. Is that…
等等 那是?…
Excuse me.
对不起
Who the hell are you?
你是谁?
Federal Wildlife Marshal.
联邦野生动物官员
This investigation’s now under my jurisdiction.
这起案子现在归我管
Oh, really? And why is that?
是吗? 为什么?
Because someone let a whole mess of animals…
因为有人把这些动物…
out of their cages, sir.
都放出去了
We believe that was just a diversionary tactic…
我们认为这是个障眼法…
used to call attention away from the real heist…
他们真正的目的偷窃…
over here at the Diamond Exchange.
那家珠宝行的钻石
Yeah, right. That’s a believable scenario.
太对 你编的还头头是道
Sounds more like something out of a bad movie.
听起来好像看电影一样
Sir…
先生…
The Provasik people say they rounded up…
实验室的人说他们找回了所有的动物…
all their animals except for one…an orangutan.
出了一只大猩猩之外
The most dangerous animal known to man.
人类已知最危险的动物
Sir, this was just delivered to the station.
长官 这是刚刚警局收到的
What is…what is it… what is it?
什么东西?
A tape of the terrorists who claim responsibility…
一个自称对这起事件负责的…
for the break-in.
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥的录像带
Do you have a VCR?
你有录像机吗?
I am the clit commander.
我是CLIT(阴蒂)指挥官
Oh, my God.
我的天呀
Plaschke, Willenholly.
普拉斯克 维尼豪勒
Yeah, look, I need you to get me on the national news pronto.
我需要你和电视台联♥系♥ 我要向大家公布这起新闻
Why? Because we may very well be dealing…
为什么? 因为我们很可能要对付是 …
with the two most dangerous men on the planet.
世界上两个最危险的人
This is Jussy’s monkey.
这是朱丝的猴子
Justice died for you, you little monkey fuck!
杰斯特为了救你而死了 你这个混♥蛋♥猴子
Do something, Tons of Fun.
作点啥吧
Holy fuck.
我靠
Is that thing waving at us?
他在向我们挥手吗?
Holy shit, it understood us.
靠 他能听懂我们
Maybe It’s some kind of super monkey.
可能他是个超级猴子
You’re my fucking bitch.
你是我朋友
You get my back.
你是我这边的
Don’t be taking this fucking chimp’s side.
别朝我做鬼脸
What if there’s more super monkeys up at that lab?
如果实验室里还有更多的超级猴子的话
Maybe they’re making an army of them up there.
他们很可能会组成一支军队
Holy shit!
妈的!
Maybe It’s a conspiracy, like in the “X-Files”…
也许这是个秘密计划 就像X档案那样…
Roswell-style.
那就完了
This little monkey…
这只小猴子…
could be the fucking damn dirty ape…
很可能就会成为…
responsible for the fall of the human race.
统治人类的猿猴
In this world gone mad, we won’t spank the monkey…
这世界就乱套了 不是我们耍猴子…
the monkey will spank us.
是猴子耍我们
I’m not even supposed to be here today.
我今天根本就不应该来
And after the fall of man…
在他们统治之后…
these monkey fucks will start wearing our clothes…
那些猴子还会穿着我们的衣服…
and rebuilding the world in their image.
按照他们的想法来改变世界
Oh, when only those as super-smart as me…
到时候只有像我这样聪明的人 …
will be left alive to bitterly cry…
才能生存下来…
you maniacs!
你们这群疯子!
Damn youse!
他妈的!
God damn youse all to hell!
你们都他妈的下地狱
Shit. Not on my watch, motherfucker.
妈的 我不能让他们得逞
Die, you super monkey fuck! Aah!
去死吧 超级猴子
All right, you can live… for now.
好吧 这次先绕了你…
Did you see that shit, man? Bitches love me.
你看见了吗? 只要是母的就喜欢我
Come on, let’s get something to eat.
走吧 找点东西去吃
What, man, we ain’t hiding in the woods no more.
我们不要再藏着了
We gotta get to Hollywood.
我们必须要去好莱坞
Besides, we’re in the clear, yo.
另外 我们没事
It’s not like anyone knows we stole the monkey.
没人知道我们偷了猴子
Bitch.
混♥蛋♥
I’m Reg Hartner with an exclusive “News Now” bulletin.
现在插播新闻公告
The Provasik animal-testing facility in Boulder…
位于布鲁迪的普若维克刻动物试验中心…
was the focus of an attack by a terroristic…
昨日被一伙恐怖组织袭击…
primate rescue syndicate calling themselves…
对这起事件负责的是一个叫做…
the Coalition for Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers…
动物保护联盟的恐怖组织…
or simply C.L.I.T.
简称C.L.l.T.
In a videotape sent to authorities this morning…
今早收到的录像带表明…
credit for the liberation of an orangutan…
昨晚从实验室偷窃猩猩…
from the lab last night is taken by these men…
的嫌疑人…
identified in literature that accompanied the tape…
经由相关资料和录像带比对…
as Jay and Silent Bob.
确认是杰和鲍伯
In this chilling clip, they make it very clear…
在这剪辑中 他们很清楚的表明…
that they are in control of the C.L.I.T.
他们就是C.L.I.T.的首脑人物
We are the C.L.I.T. None of you are safe.
我们就是C.L.l.T.的成员 你们全要完蛋
Now tremble before the might of our merciless leader.
躲在角落里发抖吧 胆小鬼门
I am the C.L.I.T. commander!
我是C.L.l.T.的指挥者!
Terrifying.
吓死你们
Now here to help us explain this footage…
现在帮助我们解释这录像带的是…
is Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly.
联邦野生动物官员威力恩霍尔利先生
Marshal Willenholly, thanks for joining us.
威力恩霍尔利先生 谢谢你的加入
At this point, what can you tell us about the C.L.I.T.?
能说说你对C.L.l.T.这个组织的看法吗?
From the intelligence we’ve been gathering…
从我们收集的情报来看
we’ve discovered that the C.L.I.T…
我们查出C.L.l.T…
is actually a tiny offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A.
是L.A.B.l.A.组织的一个分支
Uh, the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement?
猿猴解放组织?
Exactly.
太对了
Now, the two men that you saw in the video…
录像带中两名男子…
they go by the obvious code names of Jay and Silent Bob.
他们在组织里的代号♥叫做杰与鲍伯
If anyone out there should come across them…
如果有任何人遇到他们…
or any other C.L.I.T.ies, please exercise extreme caution.
或其他的C.L.I.T成员 请提高警惕
See? Told you that restraining order was a good idea.
看见了吧? 把他们俩赶走是对的
What response do you hope to elicit…
请问你会对…
by putting this kind of pressure on the C.L.I.T.?
C.L.l.T.组织采取什么行动?
It’s a difficult situation.
现在还很难说
You don’t want to rub the C.L.I.T. the wrong way.
我们不想曲解C.L.l.T.
Nights like this…
像这样的晚上…
I miss dating a lesbian.
我很怀念和姐妹约会的日子
Is that your cell phone, sir?
是你的手♥机♥响吗?
Plaschke. Give me a frigging break.
试验室的 现在别打扰我行吗?
I’m on my way. We’ve got them.
我这就到 我们抓到他们了
They’re in Utah. Citizens of Utah…
他们现在犹它…
stimulation of the C.L.I.T. is not recommended.
C.L.l.T.的行为是不被提倡的
Well, your plan worked.
哈哈 你的计划很成功
The news is all about Jay, Bob, and your C.L.I.T…
新闻上说的全是 杰和鲍伯 C.L.l.T…