白烂贱客（2001）

all the studios started buying up…
所有的漫画工作室开始搜刮
every comic property they could get…
每一个他们能染指的…
their dirty little hands on.
漫画资产
Miramax optioned “Bluntman and Chronic.”
米拉马克斯拿到了 大烟鬼和钝男 的持有权
Miramax? I thought they only made classy pictures…
米拉马克斯? 我以为他们只拍经典电影
like “The Piano” or “The Crying Game.”
就好像 钢琴 或 哭泣的游戏
Yeah, well, once they made “She’s All That”…
但也出过 窈窕淑女 这种电影
everything went to hell.
世风日下呀
So you’re saying you haven’t gotten a monetary cut…
就是说 你们俩还没从那电影里…
of the movie?
分到钱?
Didn’t Holden McNeil and Banky Edwards…
霍顿·麦克尼尔 和 本科·埃德华…
used to pay you likeness rights for the comic book?
难道不是要付肖像费给漫画的吗?
We haven’t seen a fucking dime for no movie.
我们他妈的连一毛钱还没看到呐
Well, boys, I’m no lawyer, but I think Holden and Banky…
我不是律师 但是我看霍顿和本科…
owe you some of that proverbial phat cash.
欠了你们的钱
If I was you guys, I would find Holden McNeil…
如果我是你们 我回去找他们…
and ask for my movie check.
要回我应得的钱
Shit, yeah. We got to get paid.
妈的 太对了 我们理应得到钱的
And on that note, we cue the music.
而且主题音乐还是我们作的
look at these morose motherfuckers right here.
看看你们两个乖僻的家伙
Smells like somebody shit in their cereal.
肯定有人惹了他们了
That was good. Come on in.
好了 不说了 快进来
So, what brings you two dirt merchants…?
说说是什么事情让你们两个混球…
to my neck of the woods?
到这来的吧
I’ll tell you what our necks are doing in your woods.
让我来告诉你是什么事
Where’s our motherfucking movie check?
我们他妈的钱在哪?
You heard about that, huh? I got nothing to do with it.
你们都听说了? 我和这事一点关系都没有
That’s Banky’s deal. He owns the property now.
这是本科的买♥♥卖♥♥ 他现在拥有著作权了
I sold my half of the “Bluntman and Chronic” rights…
我几年前把那本漫画一半的版权…
to him years ago.
都卖♥♥给了他
Why the fuck would you do a thing like that?
你♥他♥妈♥的为什么要这么做?
Why in God’s name would I wanna keep writing…?
那你说说 我为什么要不停的写这些
about characters whose central preoccupation…
主人公是混球 流氓
is weed and dick and fart jokes?
还整天讲低级笑话的漫画?
I mean, you got to grow, man.
我的意思是说我们都长大了
Don’t you ever want anything more for yourself?
难道你不想为自己做点事?
I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does.
我知道这个穷光蛋就是这么想的
I look into his sorry doe eyes…
我看到在他愧疚的眼神里
and I just…I see a man crying out.
有一个人在哭泣
He’s crying out, When, Lord?
他正在哭泣 何时 主人?
When the fuck can your servant…
你的仆人他妈的什么时候能…
ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead…
把这个满嘴脏话的傻瓜…
to whom I am a constant victim of his folly…
我总是他愚蠢的牺牲品…
so much so that it prevents him…
这可以防止他…
from ever getting to kiss a girl?
永远不亲吻女孩?
Fuck! When, Lord, when?
妈的 何时? 主人 何时?
When’s gonna be my time?”
我的时机何时到来?
He knows.
他知道
I’m the chucklehead? You’re the fucking dumb-ass…
我是傻帽? 你是就是蠢蛋
who gave your comic away, and now you don’t get…
把你的漫画给了人 什么也得不到…
no fucking movie check, neither.
什么他妈的也没有…
When you’re right, you’re right.
你是对的
I wish I held onto a little piece of that thing…
我真希望没卖♥♥掉版权…
because if the buzz is any indicator…
因为如果那个传闻有点意思的话
that movie’s going to make some huge bank.
那部电影可能会赚很多钱
What buzz?
什么传闻?
The internet buzz.
网上的传闻
What the fuck is the internet?
互联网又他妈的是什么东西?
The internet is a communications tool…
互联网是通讯工具…
used the world over, where people can come together…
全世界都在用 在那儿人们可以一起…
to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
瞎掰关于电影的话题 一起看黄色片子
Here’s what we’re looking for… Moviepoopshoot.com.
这是我们要去的地方 电影内♥幕♥网
Poop shoot. Yeah.
内♥幕♥ 真好
This is a site populated by militant movie buffs…
这个网站是由电影爱好者成立的
sad, pathetic little bastards…
一群没事干的人…
living in their parents’ basement…
在父母家的地下室…
downloading scripts…
下载剧本…
and what they think is inside information…
他们想要的是电影和演员…
about movies and actors they claim to despise…
有关的内部消息…
yet can’t stop discussing.
并且整天谈论这些事
OK, this is about “Bluntman and Chronic” right here.
大烟鬼和钝男 就在这
Inside sources tell me…
内部消息告诉我们…
Miramax is starting production this Friday…
米尔马♥克♥思♥ 这个星期五就要开拍…
on their adaptation of underground comic fave…
由他们改编的最受欢迎的漫画…
“Bluntman and Chronic”
大烟鬼和钝男
Friday? Shit, does it say who’s fucking playing us…
星期五? 上面有没有说由谁来扮演我们?
in the movie?
在这部电影里?
No, but It’s Miramax…
没有 但是 米尔马♥克♥思♥ 拍的话…
so I’m sure It’ll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
我相信会由 本 和 马特 来演
You know, they put them in a bunch of movies.
你知道 他们俩很有名
Who?
谁?
You know, those kids from “Good Will Hunting.”
他们演过 心灵捕手
You mean that fucking movie with Mork from Ork in it?
你是说那部特别傻的电影?
Yeah, I wasn’t a big fan, either…
对 我也不是太喜欢…
but Affleck was the bomb in “Phantoms.”
不过阿夫莱克在 幻觉 里演得很好
Word, bitch. “Phantoms”‘ like a motherfucker.
说的对 幻觉 真♥他♥妈♥好看
What’s up now?
接着说
Ahem. All right.
好的
So, here we go. Now, this is the shoot-back section.
来看 这是<银幕背后>版块
This is where the people who read the news…
这儿 看新闻的人…
get to chime in with their two cents.
都在上面发表自己的议论
For example, we got a guy here…
比方说 这儿有…
with the chick magnet net handle “Wompa One”…
一个叫 女人都爱我 的人…
opining on what he thinks about “Bluntman and Chronic. ”
发表了他对 大烟鬼和钝男 的看法
He says, “Bluntman and Chronic” and their stupid alter egos…
他说 大烟鬼和钝男 和他们的傻冒变♥态♥…
Jay and Silent Bob only work in small doses, if at all.
杰与鲍伯 不会长久的…
They don’t deserve their own movie.
他们不配拍自己的电影
He’s got a point. Fuck him.
他说的挺对的 操♥他♥妈♥的
What’s the next one say?
下个人说什么了?
This is entitled “Fuck Them up Their Stupid Asses.”
下个人的署名是 操♥他♥妈♥的这群混♥蛋♥
“Bluntman and Chronic” is the worst comic I ever read.
大烟鬼和钝男 是我看过的最差的漫画
Jay and Silent Bob are stupid characters…
杰和鲍伯 太他妈傻了…
a couple of stoners who spout dumb-ass catch phrases…
两个抽大烟的在这里瞎折腾什么 …
like a third-rate Cheech and Chong…
就像个三流的闹剧…
or Bill and Ted.
或者烂历险记
Fuck Jay and Silent Bob.
他妈的杰和鲍伯
Fuck them up their stupid asses.
操♥他♥妈♥的
Who the fuck said that shit?
这些都是谁他妈说的?
A guy who calls himself “Magnolia Fan.”
是个署名为 木兰崇拜者
All right, here, check this one out.
好了 好了 看看这个
Jay and Silent Bob are one-note jokes…
杰和鲍伯就是两个傻瓜…
that only stoners laugh at.
只有傻瓜才会觉得他们可笑
“They’re fucking clown shoes.” Mmm.
他们就是两小丑
If they were real, I’d beat the shit out of them…
要是真有这两个人的话 我要把他们打出屎来…
for being so stupid.
就因为他们太他妈傻了
I, for one, will be boycotting this movie.
至少我 要抵♥制♥这部电影
Who’s with me?
还有谁会参加
Then there’s, like, fifty more posts…
这儿有50多张帖子…
of people who are joining Spartacus’s here boycott.
赞成抵♥制♥这部电影
I’m gonna kill all these fucks.
我要把他们全杀了
Let it go, man. They’re not talking about you guys.
别往心里去 他们不是说你们
They’re talking about Bluntman and Chronic.
他们在说电影里的人物
They said Jay and Silent Bob. They used our real names.
他们说了杰和鲍伯 他们说了我们的真名
It doesn’t matter if there’s a comic book version of us…
其实 有没有漫画版和真人版…
and a real version…
都没有关系…
because no one knows we’re real in real life.
因为没人知道我们是真正存在的
Really?
真的?
All these people reading that shit…
所有读这些东西的人…
think the real Jay and Silent Bob…
都认为杰和鲍伯是…
are a couple jerkoffs…
一对嬉皮士…