白烂贱客（2001）

Taste the booger flavor. I know It’s in there.
尝尝鼻涕的味道吧 我知道里面有
It’s all good, sir.
什么也没有先生
No, it ain’t all good!
不是什么也没有
Now clean that shit up.
把它弄干净
That’s right. Get me a white boy.
好了 叫个白人男孩来
Get me a blonde-hair white boy, so I can enjoy that shit.
金发碧眼的白人男孩
You the man, sir.
你说了算 先生
No, you the man, and that’s the problem.
不 你才说了算 而这也是问题的所在
Uh, Chaka?
西可
Yeah. Hi, I’m Banky Edwards…
我是本科 爱德华…
the creator of “Bluntman and Chronic.”
大烟鬼和钝男 的创作者
We met a few weeks back. I’m the executive producer.
我们几星期前见过 我是执行总监
Oh, you the executive producer!
你是执行总监!
Why don’t you executive produce me a latte?
那为什么不给我拿杯咖啡?
De-cracker-nate it, ok, Fucky?
不想干了吧? 法克
It’s Banky. No, it is Fucky.
是本科 不 就是法克
I wanted you to know that l respect your work as an artist.
我想让你知道 我敬重你的艺术工作
I’m something of an artist myself.
从某方面来说我也是搞艺术的
I…I was the inker on the comic book.
我是这个漫画的作者
Yeah, man, you a tracer, OK?
对 你就是模仿者
Nobody else got the heart to tell you.
没人坦诚的告诉你吗
You trace. You go around the lines.
你是个模仿者 你就会模仿别人的东西
You are a tracer, OK?
你是个模仿者 承认吧?
You think Fat Albert had a tracer? No!
你以为我会和模仿者为伍吗? 不
Bill Cosby did the whole thing with a ruler…
比尔寇斯比才是真正的大♥师♥…
and it was excellent!
他画的太棒了!
Crack-crack-cracker? Crack?
废人 废人 废人?
Uh, Biggs and Van Der Beek are on the set, Chaka.
比格斯 和范德比克 准备好了
Well, I don’t see them!
我没看见他们
Where are the stars of this piece of shit?
大明星们都在哪儿?
Damn, this must’ve set them back a couple hundred bucks.
这个布景肯定花了他们几百块钱
Get out of my way, man.
闪开 别挡道
What the fuck is that?
这是什么?
Look at this. A gay hood ornament…
看看 穿的像同性恋似的…
and “The Color Purple. ”
还模仿 电影紫色
Who the fuck are you?
你♥他♥妈♥的是谁?
Who the fuck am I? I’m the director!
我他妈的是谁? 我是导演
Chaka Luther King, that’s who the fuck I am.
西可·路德·金 就是我
No, wait a second.
等等
I thought Banky and Holden created this shit.
我以为本科和霍顿才是
And I’m stealing it.
被我抢来了
I’m taking it back for the black man…
我要为黑人兄弟们挣口气…
to make up for all the shit…
把原本属于我们的东西…
that you motherfuckers are taking from us.
从那群混♥蛋♥手里抢回来
Do you know that I came up with the idea for “Sesame Street”?
你知道 芝麻街 是我先想出来的
I came up with it before PBS.
我是在公共电视网之前想出来的
The white man stole it. That’s right.
白人把它偷走了
I was gonna call it “N.W.P.”…
我本来是想取名为 N.W.P…
“Niggas With Puppets” Catchy, ain’t it?
黑鬼和木偶 很上口是吧?
All right, enough of this small talk.
行了 不说废话了
Let’s shoot. Wait a sec.
开拍 等等
Aren’t you gonna direct us?
你真的要来当我们的导演?
Man, I will direct you to the unemployment line…
我会把你们导到失业…
if you don’t stop backtalking me, OK, cracker?
如果你们还顶嘴的话
We don’t know what we’re doing. We didn’t read the script.
我们不知道该干什么 我们没读剧本
Hey, it ain’t that hard, man.
这不是那么难吧?
I film the motherfucker, right? Then I yell “Cut.”
我他妈的来拍 我他妈的喊 停
Then I run the fuck out of here…
这我说了算…
go to my trailer, cause I got more white girls in there…
到我拖车那去看看 我找的白种女人比…
than the first lifeboat on the Titanic…
泰坦尼号♥第一艘救生艇里的还多…
and they all want a part in my movie…
他们都想出镜…
and I got just the part for them.
但我可要不完
So you ready to do this?
怎么样 准备好了没有?
All right! Let’s roll with the new.
好 开拍!
All right, quiet on the set, everyone.
好了 清场
Quiet on the set! Picture’s up!
清场了 要开拍了
I got you new coffee, sir… booger-free.
我又给你拿了杯咖啡 没有鼻涕
Get that shit the fuck out of here.
滚开
You guys look pretty badass.
你们几个挺能惹事的
“Bluntman and Chronic Strike Back”…
大烟鬼和钝男的反击…
scene 37, take one.
场景37 开始
What are we waiting for? Action!
你们还他妈的等什么? 开拍了!
Um…snootchie bootchies?
努努… 努努…
What the fuck?
我靠! 什么东西?
You thought I’d never find…
你们以为我永远也不会找到…
your precious Blunt-cave, did you, Hempknight?
你们的大烟洞是不是?
But now you and your sidekick are finally in the grasp…
当年是今天你们终于落到我…
of Cock-Knocker!
睾丸打手的手里了
Why do they call you Cock-Knocker?
为什么他们叫你睾丸打手?
Actually, there’s a funny story behind that. Ha ha!
这可来源于个搞笑的故事
You’re gonna love this. True story.
你会喜欢的 真人真事
Avenge me…Hempknight.
替我报仇…
I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.
我想乔治会为了他的小♥弟♥弟♥打官司的
Any last words before I bust your balls, Bluntman?
在我敲掉你蛋蛋前还有什么遗言吗? 大烟鬼
Dance, pie-fucker!
跳舞吧
Damn, these white boys can’t fight.
妈的 白人就是不会打架
Don’t fuck with a Jedi Master, son.
别跟绝地大♥师♥过不去 孩子
Yo, bitch fist!
他妈的混♥蛋♥
Call me Darth Balls. Bong!
叫我睾丸粉碎机!
Good Lord.
天啊
Hey, that wasn’t in the script.
剧本上没有这个
So this is Hollywood?
这就是好莱坞了?
Well, then lights, camera, action, Jay and Silent Bob.
灯光 摄像机 操作 还有杰与鲍伯
Freeze, you terrorist sons of bitches!
都别动 你们这群恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
My God!
我的天啊!
Oh! Oh, my God.
我的天啊!
Oh. Uh, sorry, everyone.
对不起大家
That was supposed to be a warning shot.
本来就是想鸣枪警告的
I’m obviously on the wrong set.
我来错摄影棚了
Um, is he gonna be OK?
他会没事吧?
Not good.
不好
You are not upstaging me, Van Der Beek.
你休想抢我的风头 范德比克
Man, this movie’s gonna make “House Party”…
这部电影就像 家庭晚会…
look like “House Party 2.”
看起来像 家庭晚会2
Or “House Party 3.”
或者是 家庭晚会3
Shut the fuck up. Yes, sir.
闭上你的狗嘴 好的
Chaka! Call off Dawson, will you?
西可! 喊停行不行?
Chaka!
西可!
Can I get a cut here?
喊停行不行?
Not again.
别再这么做了
Now whose balls have been busted, bitch?
现在谁的蛋蛋被敲了?
All right, that’s it. I am out of here.
行了 我不干了
Chaka, I’ll be in my trailer.
西可 我到车上去了
What the fuck?!
他妈的什么事
C.L.I.T. stops here, Jay and Silent Bob!
C.L.l.T. 到此为止了 杰和鲍伯
Another white boy in this movie? Damn!
这部电影里还有另一个白人? 靠!
Federal Wildlife Marshal. Everyone stay cool.
联邦野生动物官员 大家抱持冷静
Go back to making your adult movie.
都回去拍三♥级♥拍片吧
These men are the leaders of a terrorist organization…
这两个人是恐怖组织头目…
wanted for the abduction of a little monkey.
想要诱拐一只猴子
They didn’t really steal that monkey.
他们并没有偷猴子
It was just a diversion so that we could steal these.
那只是个障眼法 真正的目的是偷钻石
And they’re not the leaders of the C.L.I.T.
他们并不是 C.L.l.T 头目
The C.L.I.T. is not real.
C.L.l.T 根本就不存在
No, no, no. No, the C.L.I.T.’s real.
不不不 C.L.l.T 是存在的
The C.L.I.T. is real all right.
C.L.l.T 是存在的
It’s the female orgasm… that’s the myth.
这是女性的高♥潮♥ 那是个谜
You know what I’m talking about?
你知道我在些说什么
Are you guys all right?
你们还好吧?
I thought you blew up, Boo-Boo Kitty-Fuck.
我以为你被炸死了 小可爱