蠢蛋搞怪秀3D

It’s basically like a poo coaster.
-你会怕这些实在是不太合理 -我了
-You have really irrational fears. -I know.
“把我丢进海里喂鲨鱼…我不在乎”
“Cast me out to sea with sharks, I don’t care.”
“用钩子穿过我的屁♥股♥ 但又不是高空跳水”
“Put a hook through my cheek. But I’m not bungee diving.”
干啥勒
What the fuck?
喔 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
来这 老兄
Come here, dude.
我正在试
I’m trying.
-有什么问题 -这实在是臭的像…
-What’s the problem? -It fuckin’ stinks like sh…
…屎
…shit.
我在想大概十年前 我做了…
I think it’s about ten years ago today that I was doing
…第一次的屎尿飞车 而现在是你来当主角…
the first Poo Cocktail and now you’re taking the reins
…还把它提升到一种新的层次
and taking it to a whole other level.
-嗯 -你看起来还蛮爽的啊
-Yep. -You look pretty happy about it.
嘿 等会结束的话快点把我弄下来
Hey, let’s get me down pretty fucking quick after this.
我怕得到幽闭恐惧症 这应该会很搞笑
I’m gonna be so claustrophobic, it’s gonna be ridiculous.
-你有幽闭恐惧症 -嗯
-Do you have claustrophobia? -Yeah.
放轻松享受这趟旅程吧
Just relax and enjoy your shit.
我是 斯蒂沃 这是屎尿飞车加强版
I’m Steve-O, and this is the Poo Cocktail Supreme.
好吧 祝你好运
All right. Good luck.
-准备好了吗 斯蒂沃 -还没
-You ready, Steve-O? -No.
开始吧 屎尿飞车加强版
Order up! Poo Cocktail Supreme!
喔操
Oh, shit!
喔操
Oh, shit!
他吐了
He’s puking!
干 好恶心
Fucking gross.
你怎么了 巴姆
What’s wrong with you, Bam?
喔 我的天啊 老兄
Oh, my God, dude.
还好吧 斯蒂沃
Are you OK, Steve-O?
喔 我的天啊
Oh, my God!
这实在是太恶烂了 你确定要看这个吗
It’s gonna be ugly. I don’t know if you wanna see this.
喔 我的天啊 喔天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, Jesus.
-帮他弄出来 -让他出来
-Help him out of there! -Let him out!
我准备好了…
I’m ready…
喔 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
跳进那湖里吧
Jump in that lake right now.
喔 我的天啊
Oh, my God!
喔 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Jesus!
喔天啊 这实在是太恶了
Oh, God, it’s so gross.
这真是超猛的 甚至连那些家伙都没想过有多猛…
This is the kind of extreme shit that those extreme dudes don’t even think of.
这次实在应有尽有 有危险 还有屎
That had it all. That had danger. It had shit.
有呕吐 这节目就是这么一回事
It had puke. That’s what this show is all about.
还有性啦
And sex appeal.
好啦大伙们 我们要玩一个游戏叫做…
All right, fellas, we’re gonna play a little game called
逃犯与典狱长的妻子
Escaped Convict and Warden’s Wife.
我非常确定 当我按了这开关 会有些鸟事发生
And I’m pretty sure something sucky’s gonna happen when I push this.
你们会想听斯蒂沃的饶舌专辑…
So would you guys rather listen to Steve-O’s rap album,
-还是让我按下这开关勒 -按下开关
-or have me push this plunger? -Push the plunger!
好吧 让我们结束这场闹剧
All right, let’s end this turkey.
护目镜戴好 眼镜戴好
Glasses on! Goggles on!
哈啰 我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔
Hello. My name’s Johnny Knoxville
我即将结束这部电影
and I’m about to end this movie.
什么
What?
喔 我的天啊 真不敢相信…你们相信吗
Oh, my God! I don’t believe… Can you believe this?
我实在是不了他们在作什么
I don’t understand what the hell they’re doing.
我是说 对我来说比较像一股激流 你不觉得吗
I mean, it looks more like a riptide to me. Don’t you think so?
真荒谬 等一下
This is ridiculous. Now wait just a second.
-怎么…难道这是你…-泰勒
-How…? Is this the way you make… -Rip Taylor!
闭嘴啦 我只是厌烦了
Shut up yourself! I’m just fed up.
那个穿泳装的胖子是谁
Who’s the fat guy in the Speedo?
看着镜…喔 我的天啊
Look in the mirr… Oh, my God.
看镜子 一个真男人 他们做到了
Look in the mirror. A grown man. And they did it.
我不敢相信那些五彩碎屑
And I can’t believe all the confetti.
别忘了…蠢蛋搞怪秀3D
And don’t forget… Jackass 3D.
-3D -谢谢
-3D! -Thank you.
别说 别说
No tongue! No tongue!
别说
No tongue!
别说
No tongue!
我是 危险的厄尔文 这是 蓝宝坚尼拉齿记
I’m Danger Ehren, and that was the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.
-这段可能不会用喔 -我才不在乎勒
-We’re not using that. -I don’t care.
我们会用啦
Now we are using that.
老兄
Dude!
我开玩笑的 你弄坏了杰夫的摄影机…
I was joking. You just broke Jeff’s cam…
你弄坏了你的摄影机
You broke your camera.
干勒
Fucker!
干 Ok 被你阴了
Fuck, OK, you got me, dude.
自联兄弟 第二次拍摄 标记
Bro-zilian, take two, mark.
老兄 老兄 剪掉…
Dude! Dude! Cut the…
老兄 我会揍你脸喔 住手啦
Dude, I will fucking punch you in the face, dude! Stop it.
挖喔 耶 耶 耶
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.
喔 别装娘了
Oh, don’t be a sissy.
三 二 一 上啊
Three, two, one, go!
嗨 我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔
Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville.
欢迎收看蠢蛋搞怪秀
Welcome to Jackass.
停
Cut!
我是 埃迪巴巴内尔
My name is Eddie Barbanell,
这是 啥鸟东西的马桶塞
and this is some bullshit with a plunger.
普雷斯顿动起来
Preston, move your ass.
回来啊
Come back here!
这伤口看来有段时间了
This bruise looks old.
嗯 那里是发生过许多事
Yeah, there’s been a lot of stuff going on back there.
这是个经典的伤
That’s an official break.
天哪 这实在是…
Jeez. That’s so gnarly.
这真的不是我在吹牛的 就是这
That’s some serious bragging rights, right there.
生日快乐
Happy birthday!
谢啦
Thanks.
喔 就是这啦
Oh, right there. That’s the spot.
抱歉 如果我们知道你不喜欢红色 我们也不会穿的
Sorry. Had we known you didn’t like red, we wouldn’t have wore this.
谢啦 伙计
Thanks, buddy.
来了 来了 喔操
He’s got it, he’s got it! Oh, shit!
你吓一跳
Man, you jumped!
喔 干♥你♥的勒 干
Oh, you fucker. You fucker.
我照你说的 煞了车
I did it like you said. I held the brake…
像这样 它仍…
Like this, while it’s still…
-喔 我的天啊 -爽
-Oh, my God! -Yes!
耶
Yeah!
干的好啊
That’s my girl.
-你要去溜冰 -嗯 我是个超强溜冰手
-You’re gonna roller-skate. -Yeah, I’m an awesome roller skater.
我了 我很久以前在洛杉矶河看过你 那时你…
I know. I saw you a long time ago at the L.A. River when you were…
-为什么要提起 -你真炫
-Why you gotta bring that up? -You were amazing!
我是约翰尼·诺克斯维尔 我今天要跳洛杉矶河
My name is Johnny Knoxville, and today, I’m gonna jump the L.A. River.
救命 救命
Help me! Help me!
我是斯蒂沃 我收集大象屎 已达九天之久了
How’s it going? I’m Steve-O, and I collected nine days of elephant shit.
等一下 刚那段不好 我该说些什么
No wait, that doesn’t work. What should I say?
说些你想说的
Say whatever you want.
-嗨我是杰夫 -嗨我是埃普丽尔
-Hi. I’m Jeff. -Hi. I’m April.
-很高兴看到你 -嗨埃普丽尔 很高兴看到你
-It’s nice to meet you. -Hi, April. Nice meeting you.
来看看这些鸟刺青
Look at these haggard tattoos he has!
有辣椒串符号♥ 还有这啥 布莱尔女巫
He’s got a Chili Peppers sign. And what’s this? Blair Witch?
-那这个是什么 -那是绞绳
-What’s this one over here? -That’s a noose.
-什么意思 -我不知道
-What does that mean? -I don’t know.
这趟旅途
That’s Trip.
-和行动 -嗨 欢迎收看蠢蛋搞怪秀
-And action. -Hi. Welcome to Jackass.
我从来没有想到是这样的 我被雇来运梯子
I never wanted to be this. I was hired to move the ramps,
就因为我有台小货车
’cause I was the only one with a pickup truck.
上下移♥动♥看看
Do it up and down.
你 把摄影机拿开 白♥痴♥
You! Pull that fucking camera back, jackass.
我认识约翰尼·诺克斯维尔
I know Johnny Knoxville,
他应该不会把我的股沟放给大家看
and he is not broadcasting my crack to millions of people.
拍摄结束了吗