蠢蛋搞怪秀3D

我开始觉得或许这不是一个好主意…
I’m starting to think that maybe this wasn’t that good of an idea.
理论上还不错啊
It seemed good on paper.
看这个
Look at this.
这应该很刺♥激♥
This is gonna be gnarly now, man.
-来吧 上啊 -呜啊 不 我被打中了
-Come on, go. Let’s go. -Whoa. No, I’m getting hit.
-喔 妈的 -来啊 曼尼
-Oh, shit. -Come on, Manny.
冲啊 上啊 上啊 上啊
Go on! Do it! Do it! Do it!
上啊 操♥你♥妈♥的上啊
Do it! Fucking do it!
这两位即将爽了一堆蜜蜂
Got a butt-ton of bees! My two sexy players,
这是蜂绳球 比赛开始
this is Beehive Tetherball! Game on!
比赛开始
Game on!
喔 操♥他♥妈♥的
Oh, fucking shit!
我无法再继续了
I can’t do it anymore!
操 干 干♥他♥妈的
Shit! Fuck! Goddamn it!
干 喔 操
Fuck! Oh, shit!
他快赢了
He’s gonna win!
-斯蒂沃 -干
-Steve-O! -Fuck!
-操 喔 干 -跟着戴夫
-Shit! Oh, fuck! -Stay with Dave. Go with Dave.
卢米斯 来把球弄好
Loomis, come retrieve the ball.
喔 干
Oh, fuck!
喔 老兄 这实在是操♥他♥妈♥的痛
Oh, dude, it fucking hurts!
喔 我的天啊 喔 干
Oh, my God! Oh, fuck!
拜托把我放在一个没有蜜蜂的地方
Please put me somewhere where there’s no bees!
因为二氧化碳
It’s the carbon dioxide.
你的身体热了起来 导致它们锁定你
Your body heated up, so they targeted you, you took it really good, man.
这实在是靠北痛啊
I am so fucking hurt!
你到处跑呼出了一堆二氧化碳
You were running around on carbon dioxide.
-看你的眼睛 -天啊 我要摆脱它
-Look at your eye. -God, I gotta get rid of this.
戴夫就是不懂这点
The thing is that Dave doesn’t understand
你越惊恐就越会被螫
is that the more you freak out, the more you get stung.
白♥痴♥
Idiot!
这感觉就像有人在我脸上弄了一个火球
That felt like somebody was blowing a fireball in my face.
感觉像有人在狂敲猛打
It looked like you were just getting the hell beat out of you.
干♥他♥妈的快不能呼吸
You can’t fucking breathe.
服务生 可以帮我在咖啡里加点奶精吗
Waiter? Can I get some cream for my coffee?
这就是蠢蛋搞怪秀在这所作的事
That’s the story of Jackass right there.
在狂风中洒尿
Just pissing in the wind.
嘿兄弟 你可以帮我看一下狗吗
Hey, buddy, would you mind watching my dog for a second
我进去一下 谢啦 我马上回来
while I run in there? Thanks. I’ll be right back.
谢谢你 伙计
Thank you, buddy.
感恩
Thanks, bud.
谢谢你帮我照顾狗
Thank you very much for watching my dog.
我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔 这是 水牛城
My name is Johnny Knoxville, and this is Roller Buffalo.
你是真男人
You’re the man!
我们不值得你这样做
We’re not worthy.
喔 老兄 让我过去一下
Oh, man. Let me get over here.
-有什么感觉 -感觉像屎…
-What’d it feel like? -It felt like shit.
感觉我被水牛给辗过
It felt like I got run over by a buffalo.
在我嘴里
It’s in my mouth!
让我离开这 让我离开这
Get me out of here! Get me out of here!
厄尔文 待好
Ehren, stay here!
想想我们能让他离开这吗
Think we need to get him out from there?!
把这从他身上拿开吧
Let’s get him! Get it off of him.
-厄尔文 离远点 -好啦
-Ehren, stay out! -All right!
兰斯…拿好 兰斯
Lance… Hold it together, Lance!
吐出来 Ok 吐出来 吐出去
Pull out! OK, pull out! Pull out!
-我的屎有喷出去吗 -你有 老兄
-Did I get the shot? -You got the shot, dude.
喷得很高吗 像座火山吗
So it went high and everything? It was like a volcano?
应该有三英尺
You got a good three feet.
-三尺 -嗯 刚那下蛮给力的
-Three foot? -Yeah, that one had some power.
-就像火山爆发狂喷 -当然啊
-It was like a full-on volcano? -Absolutely.
啥也别说
Don’t say anything.
-你们想喝啥 -两杯百威啤酒
-What would your flavors be? -Two Budweisers.
我该付多少
What do I owe you?
6元5角
Six-fifty, please.
-不用找 -谢啦
-Keep the change. -Thank you, dear.
-干杯 Boop -干杯
-Cheers. Boop! -Cheers.
现在要去哪
So what’s the status?
不知道 去海滩或啥的…也许下个水
I don’t know. Go down to the beach or something… hit the water.
你试过了吗
You tried it?
塔拉 干♥他♥妈的你在做啥
Tara! What the fuck are you doing?
干啥勒
What the fuck?!
-干♥你♥娘♥的你是谁 -你是谁
-Who the fuck are you? -Who are you?
我是她的男友 混♥蛋♥
I’m her frickin’ boyfriend, asshole!
酷喔 老兄 我是他的”男生”朋友
That’s cool, bud. I’m her man-friend.
老兄 别逼我 别逼我
Dude, don’t push me. Don’t push me.
我没惹你啊
I’m not even touching you.
了吗 干♥你♥娘♥勒 干♥你♥娘♥
You know, fuck both of you! Fuck both of you!
放轻松点
Calm down now.
所以…
So…
他跟我正在冷战…
He and I are taking a break and…
在这
Right in here.
就在这
Right in here.
干♥你♥娘♥ 我告诉过你闪远点
Fuck you! I told you to get the fuck away!
-别逼他啊 -停 停 停
-Don’t push him, man! -Stop! Stop! Stop!
给我过来
Get your ass down!
给我过来 操♥你♥妈♥的
Keep your punk ass down, you hunk of shit!
打他 波普 打他 波佩
Get him, Pop! Get him, Poppy!
把他揍扁
Get his ass down!
别打啦 停
Get off of him! Stop!
警♥察♥ 给我趴在地上 给我趴在地上
Police! Get on the fucking ground! Get on the ground!
别动 大家给我靠在墙壁
Freeze! Everybody up against the wall!
-靠在墙壁 -把你该死的手放开
-Up against the wall! -Get the fuck off me!
干♥你♥妈♥的你们在做啥
What the fuck are you doing?!
抓住他 抓住他
Get him up. Get him up!
别动 干♥你♥妈♥ 把手放在背后
Freeze, motherfucker! Get your hands behind your back!
-上啊 宝贝 -放开我
-Let’s go, babe! -Fucking get off me!
代码54 护理人员 护理人员
Code 54! Paramedic! Paramedic!
放开我
Get the fuck off me! Get him off me!
-放开我 -闭嘴 闭嘴
-Get the fuck off me! -Shut up! Shut up!
看那两个
Look at them two.
大男孩 等等 他能走
Big boy. Wait. He can walk?
Ok．
OK.
刚发生了啥事 刚到底发生了啥事
What was that all that about? What the hell was all that about?
不知道 一堆侏儒闯了进来 然后开打
I don’t know! A bunch of midgets come in here and start fighting!
-不知发生了啥事 -乱成一团
-I don’t know what happened. -That was wild!
警♥察♥进来 真不敢相信
The cops came in! I can’t believe it.
侏儒警♥察♥
Little miniature cops.
邓恩来了
Here comes Dunn.
干 这不可能 老兄
No fucking way, dude!
-喔 我的天啊 -我一整身蓝色
-Oh, my God. -Is there blue on me?
超爽的
I am so happy.
-一整个蓝色 -老兄 这有爽到
-There’s a lot of blue. -Dude, that thing goes!
干
Fuck!
老兄 这声音真是他妈的可怕
Dude, the sound of it is just fucking terrifying.
这实在有够鸟 喔 伙计
This sucks. Oh, man.
这叫声会比咬的还恐怖 厄尔文
Its bark is worse than its bite, Ehren.
由于监狱拥挤
Due to prison overpopulation,
我们要给这些孩子一个越狱机会
we’re gonna give these boys here a chance to escape.
这边代表监禁 那边…自♥由♥
This side represents incarceration, that side, freedom.
这是 电大街
This is Electric Avenue.
每把电击枪都有95万伏特
Each one of these stun guns has 950,000 volts.
这里有15把 加上四根赶牛杆
There’s 15 of ’em hanging here,
祝你们好运 大伙们
plus four cattle prods. Good luck, fellas!
上
Go!
-冲冲冲 -干
-Go, go, go! -Fuck!
干 我差点就通过了 我差点就通过了
Fuck, I’m gonna pass out, man. I’m gonna fucking pass out.
来啊 来啊
Come on, come on.
冲冲冲
Go, go, go!
干 这实在有够鸟
Fuck, that sucked!