蠢蛋搞怪秀3D

晚安 我是呆头
Good evening. I’m Butt-head.
您观赏的电影
The movie you are about to see
是以特殊的3D摄影技术拍摄而成
will be presented using special 3D technology.
您即将收看的是
You will see the Jackasses
前所未有的”蠢蛋搞怪秀”
like no human being has ever seen them before.
3D．
In three dimensions.
为了这个新的体验
In order to experience this new dimension,
你必须戴上在外头他们给的特制眼镜
you must put on the special glasses that you were given in the lobby.
这会很屌♥的喔
This is gonna be cool.
感觉没啥不同的耶 呆头
Doesn’t really look any different, Butt-head.
哇喔 嘿 比维斯你看我的手
Whoa! Hey, Beavis, look at my hand.
它变3D了
It’s in 3D.
真的吗 我没看到…
Really? I don’t see…
真炫 感觉你真的打了我一拳耶
That’s amazing! It felt like you really hit me!
这几乎就像你真的手
It’s almost like your hand really…
哇喔 这真是惊人的技术
Wow! It’s amazing technology!
等一下
Wait a second.
好了 坐好 享受电影吧
So sit back and enjoy the movie.
这肯定是2D
That was definitely 2D.
笨蛋
Dumb-ass.
嗨 我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔
Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville!
欢迎收看”蠢蛋搞怪秀”
Welcome to Jackass.
我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔 这是”击个掌”
My name is Johnny Knoxville, and this is the High Five.
喔 我的老天爷啊 早安
Oh, my goodness. Good morning!
-操 -喔不
-Fuck. -Oh, no.
-耶 邓恩你好吗 -你好吗 啊宅
-Yeah, Dunn. What up, brother? -What’s up, nerd?
-你好吗 兄弟 -你好吗 啊宅
-Whassup, dude? -What’s up, nerds?
老兄 你也太会装了吧
Dude, you played it off so good.
他说”你好吗邓恩”
He said, “What’s up, Dunn?”
再来 再来
Reset, reset.
厄尔文进来了 我们要让他拿着
Ehren’s walking in, and we’re gonna have him bring
满托盘的汤
in a whole tray full of soup.
-你好吗 -放里边
-How you doing, guys? -Pop it in there.
-他可能不会中计 -啥
-He’s not gonna do it. -What?
我想他可能不会中计
I don’t think he’s gonna go for it.
-你好吗 厄尔文 -你好吗 老兄
-What up, Ehren? -What’s up, dude?
很给力啊 老兄
Help us crowd, brother.
他中计啦
He fell for it!
洒了满身汤
He fell for the soup!
欢迎回来 小姐们 我被你们阴到了
Welcome back, ladies. You got me.
我的老天啊
Oh, my God!
看看托盘 他把它摔烂了
Look at the tray! He broke it in half, dude!
-你可以来个拥抱 -托盘整个烂了
-You can hug me for that. -The tray broke.
我不敢相信他中计了”你可以帮忙把汤拿进来吗”
I can’t believe he fell for it. “Can you bring the soup in?”
“我们需要你帮忙把托盘上的汤拿进厨房♥”
“We need you to bring this tray of soup into the kitchen.”
这些全是面粉 给我们的朋友 巴姆
This is all flour for our friend, Bam.
他进来的时候我们要阴他
We’re gonna antique him when he gets here.
-喔 Ok -他进来了
-Oh, OK. -He’s walking in.
-你好 -你好吗
-What’s up? -What up?
还好 近来可好 击个掌
Not much. How you been? High five!
这是目前最赞的一次啦
That was the best one so far!
-妈呀 -干♥你♥妈♥的我被你们阴了
-Oh, my God! -You guys done kicked my fucking ass.
他被阴了
He got antiqued!
-我还来不及反应 -实在有够赞 你几乎飞了起来
-I was so not ready for that. -That was so good! You went flying.
-大家早 -早啊 巴姆
-Good morning, man. -Morning, Bam!
您好勒 干
Howdy. Goddamn!
在大学的日子里 没几个人认识我们
Not too many people knew us back in our college days,
但是 我们仍旧很狂野
but, man, we were wild!
我的意思是 我们举办了湿T恤大赛
I mean, we were having wet T-shirt contests,
以及 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔 春假之王
And Johnny Knoxville, the king of spring break!
我是 约翰尼·诺克斯维尔 这是 Jet Ski
I’m Johnny Knoxville. This is the Jet Ski.
老兄
Dude.
夭寿喔
Holy shit!
你刚好从顶部擦过去
You just barely clipped the top.
他完全的降落
He totally landed it.
-我飞了多远 -很远啦 老兄
-How far did I go? -You went far, man.
我吓死了 兄弟
I was scared, man.
在春假期间 我见过很多疯狂的东西
I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit during spring break,
但这是最赞的啦
and that took the cake, man.
我没有准确的着陆
I didn’t exactly stick the fuckin’ landing.
-不 我觉得你有 -是啊 你有啦
-No. I think you did. -Yeah, you did!
春假之王
The king of spring break!
干 我就知道我们不该
Shit. Dude, I knew we shouldn’t have done this
在我老爸家搞这个
at my fuckin’ dad’s house.
他对我逃学的事已经很火了
He’s already pissed about me fuckin’ skipping school.
他会杀了我
He’s gonna cut me off.
我的零用钱飞了
That’s coming out of my allowance.
我是 斯蒂沃…喔操
I’m Steve-O… Oh, fuck!
我为什么要当 斯蒂沃
Why do I have to be Steve-O?
-很快就过去了 -耶 耶 耶
-It’ll be so quick. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
答对了
You got it.
我是 斯蒂沃
I’m Steve-O,
这是 三通球
and this is Tee Ball.
这一球直接击中了小♥弟♥弟♥
That was a direct ding-ding hit.
这只会越来越糟
It’s only getting worse and worse.
你是我见过最好的防守队员 斯蒂沃
You’re the best fielder I ever saw, Steve-O.
有够赞
Great job.
正中…
Right down the middle.
直球…
Line drive.
我是 戴夫·英格兰 这是 蹦极布吉
I’m Dave England, and this is the Bungee Boogie.
冲啊
Go.
刚那下有爽到
That was thrilling.
-干啥小 -再试一次
-What the fuck? -Let’s try it again!
冲啊
Let go.
操
Shit!
-你还好吧 -恩 超好
-You OK, dude? -Yeah, super good.
-真的 -Ok
-Ready? -OK.
我的嘴唇
My lip.
-准备冲了喔 -告诉我什么时候该…
-Here we go. -Tell us when.
-冲 -准备…冲
-Go ahead. -Step… go!
这真是相当令人印象深刻
That was actually pretty impressive.
我是说 虽然不是满分 但还是相当令人印象深刻
I mean, it wasn’t a slam, but it was still pretty impressive.
…这个真的会令人印象深刻了…
But this is really impressive.
-好了吗 -感觉似乎很危险啊
-Ready? -This seems dangerous.
…上啊
And go!
干♥他♥妈的还好我有戴头盔
Fuck the helmet, give me a back brace.
兄弟 你吃屎了
Man, you ate shit!
-痾…应该有效啊 -我以为会成功的
-Well, that worked. -I thought you had that.
…冲
And go!
嘿 这里有个小瀑布
Hey! There goes the pool!
普雷斯顿 有猛到
Preston. That was awesome.
…在电视上看到我…
…start to see me on TV…
这边到底有多少蜜蜂呢
How many bees are we working with here today?
每个蜂箱 可能有一万至五万只蜜蜂
Each hive, probably anywhere from ten to 50,000 bees.
它们是非洲蜂 所以多少有点暴躁
They are Africanized, so they will be a little bit more testy.
你觉得这些家伙为什么会被螫呢
What do you think the chances are of these guys getting stung today?
毫无疑问 他们稳被螫的
They’re gonna get stung. There’s no doubt in my mind.
当你丢球打扰它们 铁定会被螫的
When you hit a ball full of bees, you’re gonna get stung.
你觉得我们得拔多少蜂刺呢
How many bee stings do you think we can take?
我觉得大概一百根就可以杀了一个人
I think it takes about a hundred to kill a man.
-什么 -这有五万只蜜蜂
-What?! -There’s 50,000 bees in there.
你觉得这是我唬人的吗
Did you just make that up, please?
-我不觉得我是唬人的 -啥
-I don’t think I made it up. -What?!
每个蜂箱有五万只蜜蜂耶
There’s 50,000 per hive.
只要在五万只里被螫一百次就死了耶
50,000 and it takes 100 to kill a man?
如果我没错的话啦 一百只蜜蜂就可以杀死你
I think it’s about a hundred bees can kill you, if I’m not mistaken.
-我们在这做啥 -拍电影啊
-What are we doing here? -Making a hit movie.
去被螫99次就好了
Go for 99 and then take off.
这应该会惹火它们吧 对不
That’s gotta piss ’em off too, right,
-把它们灌进那个 -喔 或许吧
-just being poured in there? -Oh, maybe