说来有点可笑（2010）

Right. Yeah.
对
Women like to be asked questions. Okay.
女人喜欢被问问题 好的
Like ask me a question. I’ll be Noelle again.
问我个问题 我还是扮演诺艾尔
Do a little flirtation in the beginning.
开始的时候稍微调下情
What do you mean by that?
什么意思
Comment on my shoes.
评价一下我的鞋
Oh, hey, Noelle, those shoes are awesome. They really look nice.
诺艾尔 你的鞋棒极了 很上去很漂亮
Oh, you’re sweet to say that.
这么说真贴心
It’s nothing. Good.
没什么 很好
You got it. You’re getting it. You’re getting it.
说的不错 你明白过来了 你明白过来了
Okay. Not bad.
好吧 还不错
How’d you end up in here?
你怎么会落得如此下场
Man, you don’t give up, do you?
你没完了 是吧
I’m on vacation.
我在度假
Seriously.
我真的想知道
I am serious.
我也没开玩笑
Some people go to the Hamptons. I come here.
一些人去汉普顿 我就来这里
Get a little R & R.
到这里放松放松
People feed you.
别人会照顾你
I get high sometimes, man.
有时会嗑点药
That’s not what I heard about you.
这不是我听说的情况
What’d you hear?
你听到什么情况
I heard you tried to rape a penguin at the zoo.
我听说你试图强♥奸♥动物园里的企鹅
Who told you that?
谁告诉你的
Relax, babe.
放松点 亲爱的
Funny guy, huh?
你这家伙挺能搞笑啊
Actually, I…
实际上 我…
I heard your accountant say that you tried to kill yourself.
我听你会计说 你曾试图自杀
Well, this may come as a surprise to you, Cool Craig, but,
或许我说的会让你感到惊讶 酷克雷格
she ain’t my accountant.
她不是我会计
Gee, really?
天 真的
And I’ve tried to kill myself six times.
而且我曾有6次试图自杀
I thought about doing that, but I couldn’t make it to the bridge.
我想过这么做 但是在桥上又退缩了
I just came straight here.
我就直接过来了
What stopped you?
是什么阻止了你
My family, I think. You know, my parents and my sister.
我觉得 是我的家人 我父母和妹妹
Just knowing how bad it would mess them up.
一想到这会对他们产生多么大的打击
See, that’s the part I don’t get, Craig.
看 这就是我不明白的 克雷格
I mean, you’re cool, you’re smart, you’re talented.
你很酷 你很聪明 你很有才能
You have a family that loves you.
你有个爱你的家庭
You know, what I would do just to be you, for just a day?
哪怕只让我变成你一天 我会去做什么
I would… I would do so much.
我会… 我会做很多事情
I would…
我会…
I don’t know. I would just…
我也不知道 我会…
I’d just live.
我会活下去
Like it meant something.
这有所意味
Let’s go.
我们走
Smitty, I found these laying around somewhere.
史密蒂 我在附近发现了这个
What’s going on?
怎么回事
Hey, Muqtada. Are you coming out for a walk?
嘿 穆塔达 你要出来走走吗
What is there to do?
能干什么
Well, do you like to draw?
喜欢画画吗
Ping-pong.
乒乓球呢
Ping what?
乒什么
You like music?
喜欢音乐吗
Yes.
嗯
Okay. Great. Well, um…
噢 很好 那么
Only Egypt music.
只限埃及音乐
Oh, well, let’s see.
噢 好吧 那么
Excuse me, if you please. I am trying to rest.
不好意思 能安静点吗 我要休息
Sol, have you met Muqtada?
所罗门 见过穆塔达吗
If you could please keep it down.
拜托能小点声吗
He has sensitive hearing.
他对声音很敏感
This I think is enough for one day.
我觉得今天就这样吧
Hey, Craig.
嘿 克雷格
Hey.
嘿
Um, this is a surprise.
真是意外啊
Me and Aaron broke up.
我和埃伦分手了
I’m sorry.
我很遗憾
Are you okay?
你没事吧
Uh, yeah. Sorry. Um…
抱歉
You must be really loaded, huh?
你一定是累坏了 是吧
Yeah. I’m pretty zonked.
嗯 我现在精疲力尽
So, you know I’ve been thinking about you non-stop
自从前几天我们通过电♥话♥之后
since we talked on the phone the other day.
我就一直想着你
I’ve been thinking about you a lot, too.
我也经常想你
I woke up and my bed was on fire!
我醒来之后发现我的床着了火
What’s wrong with that guy?
那家伙怎么了
He’s schizophrenic.
他有精神分♥裂♥症
Weird.
怪异
Anyway,
总之
it’s like you told me all this stuff about you and you’re really mature.
(想你是因为)你告诉我的这些事情而且你很成熟
Not like everyone else with their stupid little problems.
不像别人那些愚蠢的小问题
I mean, you’re really, really screwed up.
你的状况真的很严重
I’m a mess.
我是一团糟
But in a good way. You know, in the way that gives you experience.
但是从好的方面说 你会成长 增加阅历
So you and Aaron broke up?
那么 你和埃伦分手了
Okay, so I know I should be thinking about Noelle,
好吧 我知道我应该想到诺艾尔
and how I’m supposed to be meeting her in 20 minutes.
以及我应该在20分钟之后和她见面
But when you have a really gorgeous girl in front of you,
但是当一个美丽动人的女孩在你面前
and you’ve been obsessing over her for two years,
而且你已经迷恋了她两年
and she’s biting her lip and talking low, and you’ve got a boner,
而且她正咬着嘴唇喃喃细语 而且你还有了反应
what are you gonna do?
你会怎么做
Do you want to see my room?
想看看我的房♥间吗
You haven’t finished that yet?
你还没完成那个(申请表)吗
What?
什么
Yes, we have a lot of activities here, so…
是啊 我们这儿举办了很多活动 所以…
Takes up…
占用了时间…
Me and Aaron never did anything like this.
我和埃伦从没做过这种事
This was totally on my checklist.
我早就想这么做了
Is someone else in here?
有别人在这儿吗
I’m gonna be sick.
我要吐了
Sex!
做♥爱♥
Sex in my bed!
在我床上做♥爱♥
God, that’s disgusting.
上帝 这真恶心
Children make sex in my bed!
孩子们在我床上做♥爱♥
Craig, who is this?
克雷格 这是谁
Um, this is my roommate, Muqtada.
这是我的室友 穆塔达
Don’t talk to her!
别跟她说话
She try and make sex in my bed!
她想要在我床上做♥爱♥
Calm down. No one was having sex, okay?
冷静 没人在做♥爱♥ 好吗
Woman is temptress! I know.
女人就是妖妇 我就知道
What’s wrong with you? Get out.
你怎么了 出去
Uh, he’s going through a hard time.
他最近过的不太顺
No, you! What’s wrong with you?
不是他 是你 你怎么了
I’m also going through a hard time.
我最近也过的不太顺
Um, you know what? You should get some rest,
你应该休息了
and I’ll call you tomorrow or something.
以后再跟你联络
Nia. Nia, wait.
尼娅 尼娅 等等
Wait. Nia.
等等 尼娅
I love you.
我爱你
Just get better, Craig.
好好歇着吧 克雷格
No, I mean…
不 我…
Noelle.
诺艾尔
Noelle, please.
诺艾尔 拜托了
I’m sorry I messed up.
很抱歉我搞砸了
I love your portrait. It’s amazing.
我喜欢你的肖像 很漂亮
I wish you’d open the door.
我希望你能开门
Are you okay?
你没事吧
This is pretty cool, too.
这张画的也很不错