无理之人 Irrational Man（2015）

他越是想阻止事情真正发生
The more he tried not to let anything serious happen,
我越是想如此
the more I wanted something to.
我想得没错，谋杀会是富有创意的举动
I was right in thinking the killing would be an act of creativity.
计划如何除掉斯潘格勒并完美实施
It was artistically challenging to plan how to do away with Spangler
是很有艺术挑战性的
and bring it off perfectly.
权衡所有选择之后，我得出结论
Weighing all the options, I came to the conclusion
唯一实用且…
that the only practical way I could do it,
…有望逃脱的方法是毒杀
and hope to get away with it, was to poison him.
出于不在自己电脑上留下痕迹的谨慎
Careful not to leave any record on my computer,
我研究了所有种类的毒药
I researched all the poisons
很显然，氰化物是悬疑小说作家和间谍们
and it was clear why cyanide had become the popular cliché
惯常的俗套做法
of mystery writers and spies.
氰化物速效且无痛
Cyanide would be quick and painless.
虽然氰化物我不可能去合法获取
And while it would be impossible to obtain any legally,
却明白有不用填表便能到手的一招
I knew where I might get some without having to fill out any forms.
这件事步步均有风险，但我必须承认，也很让我来劲
Every stage of the way was a risk and I must admit, exhilarating.
卢卡斯教授
Professor Lucas.
你在这里做什么？
What are you doing here?
嗨 – 我是艾珀尔
Hi. – Yeah, it’s April?
哦是艾珀尔啊 – 是啊
April, yeah. – Yeah.
我在为正写的一本书做研究
I’m doing research for a book I’m working on.
挺酷啊
Well, that’s cool.
见你戴了橡胶手套我就安心了
Well, I’m glad to see you’re wearing rubber gloves
因为这里许多毒药都挺危险的
’cause, you know, a lot of those poisons are actually pretty dangerous.
是，我知道
Yes, I know.
对了，等等，正巧你在
Actually, wait. While I have you here…
我在写一篇关于康德的论文，能请教你吗？
Can I ask you a question on the paper I’m writing on Kant?
当然，我们能边走边聊吗？
Sure, sure, but can we talk as we walk?
论文礼拜五就要交了，可基本来说…
Yeah, so, it’s due on Friday and basically,
我还是不明白他那些道德律 （康德三大道德律）
I just don’t understand his moral principles.
我不明白，你最近情绪好敏感
I don’t understand. You’ve been in such a touchy mood.
我没事，只是不想去那演唱会而已
I’m fine, I just don’t want to go to the concert.
但我买♥♥票的唯一原因
Yeah, but the only reason I got the tickets
是你说你想去啊
is because you said you wanted to go.
对不起，罗伊，我只是变主意了
Well, I’m sorry, Roy. I just had a change of heart.
找个朋友一起去吧 – 我会的
Go with a friend. – Yeah, I will.
但我本来很期待跟你一起去的
But I was looking forward to going with you.
我只是… 不想去了，好吗？
Well, I just… I’m not up to it, all right?
我觉得你因为埃布·卢卡斯这个人而对我失去了兴趣
I think you’re losin’ interest in me because of Abe Lucas.
天呐，罗伊，这话题我们谈了太多次了
Oh, God, Roy. We’ve had this conversation so many times.
他只是朋友
He’s a friend.
我觉得如果他不只是朋友的话你会更高兴
I think you’d be fine if he was more than a friend.
我们能不能不提… – 你也知道，这事儿太明显了
Can we please not discuss… – But you know it’s so obvious.
太明显了
It’s obvious.
你知道么？
You know what?
什么事都没发生，是你太偏执了
There’s nothing going on. So, you’re paranoid.
好吧
Okay. Okay.
那我跟迈克一起去听演唱会了
Well, I’ll just go to the concert with Mike.
你们会玩得很开心的，迈克人很好
Oh, you’ll have fun. Mike is sweet.
是啊
Yeah.
斯潘格勒法官慢跑的习惯
It was Judge Spangler’s jogging routine
启发我找到了办法
that gave me the idea I was looking for.
事情于我变得清晰，的确是有规律可循：
That is, once it became clear to me that it was a routine.
他周末去慢跑，买♥♥一份晨报
His weekend run, his morning newspaper,
在公园长椅坐下，买♥♥一杯鲜榨橙汁
his park bench, his container of fresh-squeezed orange juice.
我对他了解得越多
The more I found out about him,
越确信这个世界若没有他会变得更好
I was convinced the world would be a better place without him.
给你，生日快乐 – 谢谢
Here, happy birthday. – Thank you.
生日快乐！
Happy birthday!
噢，谢谢
Oh, thank you, oh.
吹蜡烛
Blow.
耶！ – 成了
Yay! – All right.
好嘞
Okay.
会是什么呢？
What is this gonna be?
罗伊，正是我想要的那件毛衣
Roy, this is exactly the sweater that I wanted,
我几个月前提过的
but I mentioned it months ago.
还以为你忘了，谢谢 – 你穿这件特别好看
I thought you forgot. Thank you. – You look so pretty in it.
我好喜欢
I love it.
那么，你带她去哪过生日？
So, where are you taking her for her birthday?
我们去“殖民地剧院”看出新喜剧
We are going to the Colonial to see a new comedy over there.
那我得去收拾下了
You know, I should actually get my things.
好
Okay.
是那出政♥治♥讽刺剧 – 正是
The political satire. – Yeah.
我听说很棒
I heard that was very good.
我们也该去看的 – 是啊，应该去的
We should go see that. – Yeah, it’s supposed to be great.
我爸妈和罗伊给了我生日蛋糕
My parents and Roy gave me a birthday cake
和一些礼物，全贴心得很
and some presents, and they were all very sweet.
但我必须承认…
But I must admit…
没收到埃布·卢卡斯的生日祝福让我很受伤
I was hurt there was no acknowledgment from Abe Lucas.
我出了公园，没人发现我
I got out of the park and no one saw me.
我并未亲眼看到斯潘格勒喝下那果汁
I never saw Spangler drink the juice.
当我试图集中精力在教师周会上时
And while I tried to stay focused at our weekend faculty meeting,
思绪却飘到了千里之外
my mind was a million miles away.
今日一位慢跑者于利皮特公园被发现
The body of the jogger who died of an apparent heart attack
心脏病突发而死
in Lippitt Park today
其身份已被确认，为托马斯·斯潘格勒法官
was identified as Judge Thomas Spangler,
就职于罗得岛州法♥院♥司职家庭法
a Rhode Island state judge in domestic court.
其同事表示颇为吃惊
The news took colleagues by surprise,
因其身体一向健康
as the judge was said to have been in good health,
且定期锻炼
and exercised regularly.
斯潘格勒法官享年61岁
Judge Spangler was 61.
次日清晨，我冲出家门去找报纸
Next morning, I rushed out to get the papers.
结果赫然在目
And there it was.
无比的成就感涌上心头
A great feeling of accomplishment came over me.
我没写什么刻薄文章来详尽论述司法滥用
I didn’t write a vitriolic, well-reasoned piece about judicial abuse
那连篇废话到头来
that would wind up just so much verbiage,
毫无用处
accomplishing nothing.
我直接采取了行动，除掉社会毒瘤
I took direct action and eliminated a cancer.
好歹为这世界增添了一丁点儿美好
The world was a finer place by some infinitesimal percentage.
那女士永远不会知道恩人的存在
The woman would never know she had a benefactor,
但如今她的庭审
but now, at her court hearing,
有机会得到个公正的待遇
there was every chance she’d have a fair shot.
是啊，我当然读到了 真是最不可思议的事情
Yeah, of course, I read it. It’s just the most amazing thing.
惊着我了
I’m stunned.
什么？别别，咱没什么可内疚的
What? No, no. We have nothing to feel guilty about.
我是说，他本就是个烂人
I mean, he was terrible.
听着，你待会什么安排？有空吗？
Hey, listen, what are you doin’ later? Are you free?
因为我觉着该共进晚餐，就咱俩
‘Cause I think we should have dinner. Just the two of us.
是啊，来个邪恶的庆祝会
Yeah, we’ll have a wicked celebration.
7点半？好，没问题
7:30? All right, perfect.
谢谢 – 不客气
Thank you. – You’re welcome.
我喜欢你为我点的
I love that you order for me.
干杯 – 干杯
Cheers. – Cheers.
天呐，知道吗，今晚我感觉棒极了
God, I, you know, I feel great tonight.
心旷神怡
Relaxed and happy.
那么，不该是个庆祝会吗？
Well, it, it’s supposed to be a celebration, right?
虽然我觉得提议庆祝某人之死有点小可怕
Although I think it is a little macabre to suggest celebrating someone’s death.
生活多讽刺，不是吗？
You know, life’s ironic, isn’t it?
头一天她还被无力解决的复杂问题搞得一团糟
One day a person has a morass of complicated, unsolvable problems,
世界一片漆黑，烦恼铺天盖地
you know, the world seems black, and her troubles seem overwhelming,
然后一转眼功夫，拨云见日
and then, in the batting of an eye, the dark clouds part
她又能过起像样的生活
and she can enjoy a decent life again.
真是令人震惊 – 嗯
It’s just, it’s astounding. – Hmm.
有时候，区区一件小事
Sometimes, just a little thing.
比如心脏病突发
Like a sudden heart attack.
或者，中彩票啊 – 是啊
Or, you know, hitting the lottery. – Right, hmm.
实际上我是三天内经历第二次庆祝了
I’m actually celebrating for the second time in three days.
第二次？
Second time?
我的生日是前天
My birthday was the day before yesterday.
嗯
Mmm.