极为罕见
Rarely seen, and per his
wishes never photographed.
尊他所嘱 从未被拍照
莫内
Monet, Cezanne,
Van Gogh, Renoir,
塞尚
梵谷 雷诺瓦
窦加
Degas.
每一幅都价值连城
Each is valued in the millions.
比尔盖兹和华纳巴费特都想买♥♥
No less then Bill
Gates and Warren Buffet
have attempted to buy them.
当然这是非卖♥♥品
Of course they’re not for sale.
现在请跟我到这边
Now if we can
proceed this way…
请小心地拿下画作
– Now, take the paintings
down very carefully,
取下它们画框
remove them from the frames.
然后放在画架上
And then, after that. put
them on the easels out here.
今天你就当我侄子艾德
照我的指示做
Today you’re going to
be my nephew Edward.
Now, just follow my lead,
and go with the flow.
好
– OK.
这边请
– This way please.
女士先生们 欢迎！
Welcome ladies and gentlemen.
这是我们复♥制♥品艺廊
Welcome to our gallery of
affordable reproductions.
我前夫要求这些大♥师♥真迹
It was my late
husband’s request,
that none of his five
original masterpieces,
不可被拍照
或复♥制♥在任何书籍或目录上
ever be photographed
or reproduced in
any book or catalog.
所以我们提供
So, we offer these copies…
我侄子艾德画的复♥制♥品
Rendered by my nephew Edward.
一张只售价350元
At the modest cost
of $350 a piece.
若有任何疑问
And if you have any questions,
please, don’t hesitate
请别客气 尽量问我们
to ask either one of us.
花多久时间画的？
– How long did it
take you to do them?
多久？
– How long?
– Hmm?
全部只花了一个礼拜
– I knocked them
out all in a week.
看得出来！有些刷痕不平均
– I can tell.
Some of your brush work
is rather uneven…
所以这么便宜嘛！
Well, you get what you pay for.
很匠气的描摹 有点取巧
– It’s decent craftsmanship,
perhaps a little slick.
少了画家的灵魂
Lacks the artist soul.
我只是业余者
– Yeah, but I’m just an amateur.
可耻！作品被模仿成这样
– It’s shameful.
Cezanne would roll
over in his grave,
塞尚会从坟墓里爬出来
to see such a
mockery of his work.
还好他不会看见
Well, let’s be glad
for both our sakes,
that he won’t see it.
专家的话你听见了 你没天分
– Well, you’ve heard
it from the experts.
You have no talent whatsoever.
他们过奖了
– Well, I’ve never
been more flattered.
我前夫希望这些大♥师♥真迹
– My late husband’s desire.
Was that his
masterpieces be owned
能被真正喜欢的人收藏
by people who will enjoy them.
而非自以为是的买♥♥家
Not trophy collectors.
所以才演这出戏
Thus our charade.
八年来没卖♥♥出过任何一幅！
But do you know, in eight years
I have yet to sell a painting.
为何不捐给美术馆？
– Why don’t you donate
them to an art museum?
等我死后
– Oh, upon my death, clones
of them will be donated.
这一大堆画都会捐出去
一大堆？
– Clones?
奥斯卡是收藏家 画商
– Oscar was an art
collector, dealer.
模仿天才和搞笑者
Technical genius, and
a practical joker,
他有钱 能满足他那些怪念头
and wealthy enough to indulge
in his most outrageous whims.
他发明一个方法
He developed a process where by,
能将这些画复♥制♥到非常精细
he could duplicate a painting
almost on a molecular level.
He would borrow a great
master from a museum,
他向美术馆借大♥师♥名画来复♥制♥
and duplicate it, and
often send back the copy.
还给他们复♥制♥画
从没被发现
And he was never found out.
“繁星之夜”的原版画
A Starry Night, the original.
纽约那张是复♥制♥的
The one in New York is a clone.
这张莫内？
This Monet,
美术界以为原版在巴黎
the art world thinks that
the original is in Paris.
真不可思议！它们都是真迹？
– Unbelievable.
So there’re all originals?
有这么多真迹怎么办？
– So what does one do, with
a collection like this?
跟大家说是假的
– You tell everyone
they’re fakes.
聪明吧？
– Good huh, and so, just before
he died, Oscar created this.
奥斯卡死前就创建了这里
福洛美术馆
The Museum Of Art Fraud.
世上最伟大的美术馆
The world’s greatest art museum.
以一个廉价不起眼的景点做伪装
Masquerading as a cheap
tourist attraction.
天哪 那是…
Oh my God that’s…
我前夫奥斯卡詹姆
– My husband,
Oscar Warren James.
当然！当然
– Of course, of course.
我感觉好极了
I must say, I was
feeling pretty damn good.
觉得充满灵感
Hell I was feeling inspired.
想赶快送完包裹 出去画画
I wanted to deliver the package,
and then I wanted
to go out and paint.
希望来得及参加康诺画展
And I wished I could
go back in time,
and enter a piece in
the Conrad Competition.
但我已许了一个愿 无法改变
But, I’d had my one wish.
And I couldn’t look back.
接近了！还很远
Hot and cool, hot and cool.
又接近 又很远！对了
I’m getting warmer,
I’m getting colder.
Of course.
八号♥球 那女孩不在丹佛
8-ball,
that girl is not in Danver
and her name is not Robin,
也不叫萝冰 对吗？
isn’t it?
（正确）
她在墨洛吗？
Well is she in Morlaw?
（对！她叫琳）
去那能找到她吗？
OK so, if I go there,
will I find her?
（可能会见到面）
寓言般的岔路横在前面
So there it was, the
proverbial fork in the road.
我的任务 承诺 我签的约
My job. The word I’d given.
The contract I’d signed.
和我可爱的梦中情人 琳
Versus the lovely Lynn,
the girl of my dreams.
她甜美声音在呼唤
Her musical voice in
my head, leading me.
走哪一条？怎么办？
Where?
我做了任何浪漫者会做的决定
So what did I do?
I did what any self respecting
hopeless romantic would do.
将它合理化
I rationalized.
5天要开158哩
Five days to go 158 miles.
该够时间追梦吧？
I got time to chase a
dream, right 8-ball?
（车子是你开的）
答得好！
Good answer.
（墨洛镇 守法的社区）
驾照看一下
– Drivers license.
我怎么了 警员？
– What did I do, officer?
没有！你要被传唤
– Nothing.
你被麦迪森先生控告
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