速成家庭（2018）

You bought this? Yeah.
你买♥♥了这啊 是啊
And it’s ours now. We own this. Mm-hmm.
现在是我们的了 额哼
I love it. Right?
我爱上这里了 是的吧
What’d I tell you? The fireplace, the built-ins here.
我就跟你说嘛 你看这个内嵌式的壁炉
Are you sure you want to give this to your sister?
你确定就给你姐妹这个吗
Babe, we’d make 100K off this flip all day long.
宝贝 我们花了一整天跑了百公里过来啊
Trying to make up… This is it?
花心思整理一下呗 就这儿吗
Hey, yeah. Come in. You guys made me ask off an hour early to see
啊 是的 进来吧 你俩叫我早来一个钟头就为了
this dump?
这个垃圾场吗
We’re all smelling this, right? Yeah, it smells like I’m
我们都深有感受不是么 是啊 感觉就像
breathing piss.
我在呼吸新鲜的排泄物
Okay. Not a good fit. So we’ll just go.
没错 不是个好地方 我们赶紧走
Come on. Come on. Have a little vision.
走吧 拜托 再看看嘛
French doors to the garden.
看看这法式木门 通向花♥园♥
We move the stairs, take these walls down,
我们移走这些椅子 打掉这些墙
create an open concept through the kitchen.
搞个通向厨房♥的开放空间
There’s a gorgeous stained glass here in the corner. The bones are
看看这角落里华丽的染色玻璃 看这结构
really good.
真棒
When’s the part we cough up 12 grand to fix the rotted-out foundation?
那我们何时拿出12000美元来修这个烂掉的地基
Clearly, it’s not for them. Let’s just flip this one, El.
很明显这些只能搞定一部分 El
There’s a park across the street.
穿过这条街就有一座公园
And the schools here are fantastic if you have a baby.
将来你们有了孩子这还有座学校
When. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Kimmy.
不好意思 什么时候 吉米
When. When you have a baby.
什么时候要孩子啊
We’re having a baby. We are having a baby.
我们就要有孩子了 我们的确有了
You see that? That’s called manifesting to the universe.
你知道吗 这叫宇宙的显现
Sometimes the universe thinks it’s funny if I drop $26,000 on in
有时候 宇宙会觉得我把这26000块拿到外面先扔了
vitro first.
会比较有趣
Oh! You’re a dick. I’m kidding.
哈 你真坏 我就开个玩笑
If this place is so great, why don’t you guys move in here?
如果这里真这么棒 你们怎么不搬来
What are they gonna do with five bedrooms and a park?
那让他们怎么面对五个卧室和一座公园呢
They’re obviously never having kids.
很显然他们不会有宝宝
Look at ’em. They don’t have any emotional holes to fill.
看看 他们可没有什么情感漏洞要填补
Not that we are doing it to fill…
现在我们可要补上
Shut up, Russ. All right.
别说了 拉斯 好的
What was that look? What look?
干嘛这样看着我 我怎么了
He just said you guys were never gonna have kids. Then you did a
他刚才说你们不会有孩子 然后你
definite look.
很明显是在看我
Yeah, what was the look for? You looked back at me to include me in
是啊 你什么眼神 你后来回头
your look.
看着我
I didn’t do a look. Totally did a look.
我没看啊 绝对看了
It wasn’t a look. I think we just started some trouble.
没有 我想我们正在制♥造♥一些麻烦
There’s no trouble. Maybe even a fight.
能有什么麻烦 甚至可能要打起来咯
There’s no fight. There’s no trouble. Let’s get out of here.
不会打起来的 没有任何麻烦 我们走吧
Oh, my God. You guys are gonna have kids now, aren’t you?
天哪 你们不会是要孩子了吧
No. What? Kimmy. I don’t know. What?
没啊 吉米 我不明白 你说什么
Of course you are, because you have to win at everything.
你当然有了 因为你无论如何都要赢我
Then you’re gonna throw your perfect uterus in my face too.
然后你还要拿你完美的子♥宫♥打我脸吧
How do you know my uterus is perfect? We’ve never even tried to have
你怎么知道我的子♥宫♥很完美 我们甚至没有尝试
kids.
要小孩
I don’t know if I can get pregnant.
我都不清楚我是否能怀孕
Of course it is perfect. It is yours.
当然很完美咯 因为是你的嘛
Kimmy. It probably has a leather interior.
嘿吉米 可能还有皮革内饰呢
Please, Kimmy. You just got here.
别走 吉米 你才刚来呢
Sorry, Petey. Have a good fight.
对不起了 彼得 加油吧
See you later, Russ.
下次见 拉斯
I didn’t do a look. You’re doing a look right now.
我没给脸色 你现在就有
There’s no look. You’re doing a look.
并没有 你才是在给脸色
All right, maybe I did do a look.
好吧 可能我是给了脸色
But just hearing him say it out loud: “We’re never having children.”
但是听到他好大声地说 我们不会有小孩
I mean, is that true?
我意思是 真的吗
I quit bringing it up because every time I did, you’d say it’s not
我不提这事就是因为每次我说时候你都讲
the right time.
不是时候
I know, but we were always so broke.
我明白 但我们总是配合不到一起
And then we were going crazy trying to get the business started.
之后我们又变得疯狂 想要重新开始这事
We’ve flipped five houses this year, and I’m starting to turn down
我们今年已经看了五套房♥了 我想开始渐渐放下
design work.
设计的工作
I always thought that I’d be a mom someday.
我总是在想我有一天会当妈妈
I think I’m ready. Great. Now you’re ready.
我想我准备好了 真棒 你现在又说准备好了
And by the time the kid’s 16, I’m gonna be one of those old dads,
然后到孩子十六岁 我就是老龄父亲了
like Brian Hendrickson’s dad.
就像布莱恩 亨德里克森他爸
Hey, Dad. What’s up, Son?
嘿 爸 怎么样啊 儿子
Hey, Mr. Hendrickson, go long!
嘿 亨德里克森先生 长传
Dad?
爸
You killed my dad!
你杀死了我老爸
Hey. Hey, Dad. Wake up, wake up. Wake up!
嘿 爸 醒醒啊
You did not kill Mr. Hendrickson.
你可没害死亨德里克森桑
And you’re not that old.
而且你没那么老
Here’s an idea. What if we adopt a five-year-old?
我有个点子 如果我们收养个五岁的小孩呢
It’d be like I got cracking when I was 36. How about that?
那我36岁也能大干一场 如何
Keep your end straight, will you?
保持直线结束可以吗
Look, you’re overthinking it, bro. None of my kids were planned.
兄弟 你想多了 没哪个要孩子是计划好了的
Kid shows up, you figure it out. Easy-peasy.
想要孩子了 你搞定它 就这么简单
How many kids you got now, Stu? Number four’s in the oven right
你现在有几个孩子了 斯图 第四个快要
Now.
出生了
Wow. Nothing hard about kids.
喔哦 对付孩子没什么难的
As long as you spend some time with them, they’re cool.
只要你为他们花时间 他们就很乖
Most important thing, make sure the moms all get along.
最重要的是和孩子他妈能和睦共处
Meatball. Hey! Hey, buddy!
嘿 肉球
Hey. You miss me?
想我了吗
Oh! That’s my boy. You missed me, huh? I missed you too.
哦 乖孩子 想我了是吧 我也想你
Yeah. You’re such a good boy.
真乖
Hey, El. I got the towel samples you wanted for the kitchen.
嘿 艾莉 我弄来了厨房♥用的毛巾样品
El, you okay?
艾莉 你还好吗
Hey, what’s the matter?
嘿 怎么了
Nothing. I was just thinking about what you said about adopting a
没什么 我就在想你说的领养一个
Five-year-old.
五岁小孩
I said that? Yeah.
我有这么说过吗 是啊
I was totally… I was joking. I know. It’s kind of crazy.
我就是开个玩笑 我知道 是有点疯狂
But it just got me thinking. And there’s so many kids in foster care.
但我真的想了想 寄养中心真的有很多小孩
And they’re moving from place to place, and they don’t have anybody,
而且他们经常搬来搬去 没有任何亲人
and it’s like the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
这是最让我难过的
I found this adoption agency. They’re having an orientation next week.
我找到了这个领养机构 下周他们有个介绍会
No, don’t show me that. I don’t want to see those little faces.
别给我看这个 我不想看到他们的小脸
You trying to break my heart? I just got home from work.
你想伤我心吗 我才刚工作回来呢
Ellie, people who take in foster kids are really special.
艾莉 照顾这些小孩的是一些很特别的人
These are the kind of people who volunteer when it’s not even a
都是些志愿者 甚至没有
Holiday.
假期
We don’t even volunteer on a holiday.
我们可没有假期做志愿者
What if there was, like, a disaster?
如果有些 嗯 残疾的呢
What, like a dirty bomb? Whatever.
那可就像脏弹 那都无所谓
And there’s a little kid who ends up on our doorstep.
还有那些孩子都到我们家门口了
Are we gonna turn her away because we’re not special enough?
我们就要赶走他们 只因为我们不够特殊吗
That would depend. There’s a lot of factors that go into it.
那就取决于 那要考虑很多因素的
I mean, our food rations, the blast radius.
我是说 我们的食物配给以及可接受的范围
El, you can’t take some offhanded remark I made
艾莉 你不能在意我随便说的话
and turn it into a crazy life decision.
然后做出个疯狂地决定
It was a joke.
那就是一句玩笑
Yeah.
是啊
I know. I just…
我明白 我只是
You’re right. You shouldn’t be pushed into something you don’t want
你是对的 不能逼你去做
to do.
你不想做的
It was just a nice thought.
那确实是个好想法
Good night.
晚安
All right, I won’t make any more jokes like that.
好的 我不会再开那些玩笑了
All right?
行吗
You wanna watch a little Fixer Upper?
你想看些待修房♥吗
Okay, I love you. I love you.
好吧 我爱你 我也爱你
That’s a long fill-up, my friend.
我很空虚 我的盆友
Well, that’s because I wanted you to come in here.
那就是为什么我想你来