冰川时代5：星际碰撞

快看周围的天空变成什么样子了
And look what it’s doing to the sky.
别担心 我已经有计划了
No worries. Because I’ve got a plan.
是吗 阻止行星的计划吗
Really? To stop an asteroid?
之前的两颗行星
Look, the last two asteroids
都陨落在了地球的同一位置
have pummeled the earth in the same spot.
很快即将再次发生陨落
And it’s about to happen again.
我们得过去
We’ve got to go there
看看到底是什么引来了行星
and see what’s attracting the asteroid.
只要知道陨落的原因
Once we know why it’s coming…
我们就可以想办法让它改道了
we can figure out how to send it somewhere else.
这计划太蠢了
That plan is so dumb,
好希望自己有额头 这样就可以扶额了
I wish it had a face so I could smack it.
让我捋一捋
Let me get this straight.
你不但没让我们赶紧逃命
Instead of running away from a deadly asteroid…
反而让我们往行星那里跑
you want us to run directly towards it?
我知道这计划听起来不怎么样
I know it sounds suboptimal,
但是好消息是
but the good news is…
不管我们去哪里都会死
it’ll kill us no matter where we went.
这可真是安慰
Well, that’s reassuring.
好吧 就算我们赶到了陨落点
Okay, but even if we get to the crash site…
我们要如何改变
how are we supposed to change
一个刻在石头上的预言
what is literally written in stone?
悲观的朋友
My cynical friend.
地球上的恐龙本已灭绝
The dinos were wiped off the face of the Earth,
但也有一些幸存
but some escaped.
他们改变了自己的命运 我们也可以
They changed their fate and we can change ours, too.
谁愿意参加
Who’s with me?
你们怎么看
So, what do you think?
说实话 我担心黄鼠狼说得对
Honestly, I’m worried the weasel’s right.
不 不要听黄鼠狼的
No! Don’t listen to the weasel.
他满嘴跑火车
He’s a raving loon!
抱歉 我特别喜欢故意说反话
Sorry. I just love playing devil’s advocate.
而且还要打扮得美美的
And looking fabulous!
毕竟巴克救过我们一次
Well, Buck has saved our lives before, right?
可如果他这次救不了我们呢
But what if he can’t this time?
我不知道该相信什么了
I don’t know what to believe.
但我好怕我们的生活还没开始就要结束了
But I’m afraid our lives will be over before they begin.
好吧
Okay.
我们加入
I guess we’re in.
克拉什和艾迪愿发愤图强
Crash and Eddie reporting for duty.
发粪
Doody.
非常好 你们的谐音梗我也听懂了
Excellent! And dirty word processed.
那么上路吧
Now, we better get on the road
因为距离陨落还有大约…
because time till impact is roughly…
2天4小时1分钟16秒
2 days, 4 hours, 1 minute and 16 seconds.
15秒 14秒
15 seconds, 14 seconds…
我们知道了
I think we get it.
等陨石坠落我们就都知道了
I think we’re all gonna get it.
我们看起来好酷炫哦
We look so cool.
这是什么
What is this stuff?
他在哪里
Where is he?
等我抓到那个独眼黄鼠狼
When I am through with that one-eyed weasel…
就把他另一只眼也弄瞎
he’s going to need two eye patches.
我能理解你的愤怒 格蒂
I admire your bloodthirstitude, Gertie.
但是你也听到了
But you heard them.
行星要坠落了
An asteroid is coming.
情况不同了
This changes things.
天哪 这里可真冷
Holy snowballs! It’s freezing up here.
我浑身的细胞都挤到一起了
Parts are retracting into other parts.
你能不能别跟只长尾鹦鹉似的
Would you please stop acting like a parakeet?
幸亏你遗传了你妈妈的好视力
It’s a good thing you got your mother’s eyes…
不然你就是个废物
or you’d be totally useless.
这话真伤人
Well, that’s just hurtful.
你看到了什么
What do you see?
没情况 没情况
Nothing. Nothing.
一颗行星正在朝地球飞过来
Deadly asteroid screaming towards Earth.
等等 他在那里
Wait! There he is.
真糟糕 他离我们好远好远
That’s too bad. He is really far away.
可能飞不过去
Probably too far to reach by flight.
算了 我们还是回家吧
Oh, well. Let’s just go home.
我们不能撤退
We are not retreating!
在那只黄鼠狼出现之前
Until that weasel came along…
咱们家靠偷恐龙蛋 赚了不少血汗钱
our family made an honest living stealing dino eggs.
偷东西 血汗钱
An honest living. Stealing.
你不觉得有点讽刺吗
Kind of ironic, don’t you think?
再说 反正小行星来了我们都会死
Besides, why take out the weasel
为什么还要费劲先干掉黄鼠狼呢
if the asteroid is just gonna take us out?
视力这么好 眼光这么短
So much sight. So little vision.
要是阻止黄鼠狼和他朋友们
If we stop the weasel and his friends
不让他们阻止小行星
from diverting the asteroid…
砰
Kablooie!
黄鼠狼和其他人都会死于撞击
It kills the weasel and everyone else…
而我们就可以飞临其上
while we glide safely above it all.
那将是我们的天堂
It’ll be our paradise.
听起来非常不现实
That’s seems highly implausible.
只是从科学角度讲
Just from a scientific standpoint.
好吧 好计划 炸♥药♥啊
Fine. It’s a great plan. Dynamite!
是我知道的
One of the top three or four
三个还是四个种族灭绝计划之一
species annihilation plans I’ve ever heard.
这还差不多
That’s better.
那我们就确保小行星会撞过来吧
Now let’s make sure that asteroid hits.
我们为什么就不能正常点
Why can’t we just fear the apocalypse
也害怕预言呢
like a normal family?
你干什么呢 巴克
What are you doing, Buck?
每块石头都是有故事的
All rocks tell a tale.
写着我们走过的路和该走的方向
Where we’ve been and where we’re heading.
不过 那是坨粪
That, however, is a turd.
朱利安
Julian…
我想告诉你 万一我们活不下来
I want you to know that if we don’t make it…
万一我们没法结婚
if we never get married…
你都是我的唯一
you were the only one for me.
别这样
Hey, come on!
我们一定能活下来 一定能结婚的
Of course we’ll make it, and we will get married.
但也许这是宇宙告诉我们不可能
But maybe it’s the universe telling us we won’t.
你就打算让一个小小的
You’re going to let one tiny little…
三百英里宽的小行星毁掉你们的计划吗
300-mile-wide asteroid ruin your plans?
未来可能都没有了
How can we think about our future
我们还考虑什么
when we may not have one?
我们一定会阻止这颗行星
Hey, we’re going to stop this thing
你们也一定会结婚
and you’ll get married.
东敲敲 西撞撞
Bada-bing, bada-boom!
现在好像不该说撞 当我没说
Well, not boom. Forget I said boom.
我知道了 我来为你们策划婚礼吧
I know! I’ll be your wedding planner!
这能让你们
It’ll take your mind
不再想着世界末日的事
off all this end-of-the-world stuff.
其实我们就打算随便搞搞的
Actually, we were just gonna wing it!
低调一点
Keep it low-key.
什么
What?
小桃子 亲爱的
Peaches, Peaches. Sweetheart,
你这一辈子最开心的一天可不能随便过
you don’t just wing the happiest day of your life!
一定要好好把握 好好度过
No, you seize it and you cherish it.
要用好东西淹没这一天
You strangle it with good intentions.
就从发型开始吧
Ooh. Let’s start with your hair.
盘个发髻 很传统
Updo with a top bun? Traditional.
或者盘起来留鱼尾刘海 很妩媚
Or updo with a fishtail braid. Flirtatious.
但可能会有些脏
But maybe a little trashy.
还有吊袜带
And garter belts!
今天 艾德展示的是蕾丝雏菊
Today, Ed is modelling laced daisies.
而克拉什戴的则是高雅的常青藤
While Crash is rocking a more elegant ivy…
足够突显小腿的美
that’s all about the calves.