我是布莱克（2016）

You will be charged at the rate set by your service provider.
本号♥仅用于已有福利申请查询
This number is for benefits enquiries only.
如果您是为了新的福利申请而致电
If you are calling to make a new claim for benefits,
请重新拨♥打♥号♥码
please redial,
0800-055-6888
0800-055-6888
那样会尽快收到申请回复
to help answer your query as quickly as possible.
很抱歉
We are sorry,
客服全部占线中
but all our customer service agents are busy at the moment.
请勿挂机 我们会尽快接听
Please hold and we will answer your call.
哎 你那捣鼓什么呢
Oi! What are ye playing at?
我就知道是你 让自家狗到处拉屎是吧
I knew it was ye! I knew it was ye letting your dog shit round here.
我就是遛个狗嘛
I’m walking me dog.
我就知道是你 带条狗来拉得满处都是
I knew it was you bringing your dog in here, shitting all over the place.
闭嘴吧 死秃子
Oh shut your mouth, you stupid baldy bastard.
小心我下去把你脸怼到屎堆里
Oi! Ye, if I come down there, I’ll rub your bloody face in it, man!
要拉回你自己家拉去
Take it to your own place and let it shit round there.
-去找个袋子捡起来 – 哦
– Go and get a bag and clean that up. -Aye, I’m gonna get a bag
少废话
I tell you what, ye talk shite!
快点找个袋子
Here, look, you just get a bag!
把狗屎清了再走
Come back here and bloody clean that up.
闭嘴吧
Oh, shut up, man, will you!
我去你家花♥园♥拉个屎行不行
Hey! I’ll come and shite in your garden, shall I?
闭嘴吧
Shut up.
喂
Hello?
感谢您的耐心等待
Thank you for waiting.
请不要挂机
Please continue to hold
我们会尽快接听您的电♥话♥
and we will answer your call as soon as possible.
你好 这是马科斯·米利安的包裹
Morning, mate. Got a package for Mr Max Million.
-马科斯·米利安 -对 就是他
– “Mr Max Million”? -Yeah. Mr Max Million.
送到我家的
My address?
地址没错
Yeah, definitely this address.
-从哪寄来的 -中国
– Where’s it from? -China.
拿进来吧
Oh. Give it here.
你知道我等了多久吗
D’you know how long I’ve been on this phone?
1小时48分钟
One hour, forty-eight minutes.
老天 比一场足球赛还长
Jesus Christ, that’s longer than a football match.
电♥话♥费要上天了
It’ll cost a fortune.
很抱歉 先生 我们今天很忙
I’m sorry, sir, but it’s been very busy.
肯定是哪里搞错了吧
There must be some mistake.
我有很严重的心脏病
I’ve got a serious heart condition.
我正在休养 医生不让我回去工作
I’m in rehab and the doctor’s told us I cannae go back to work.
本来还能领福利 现在又搞什么评估
Now, I was getting the benefits fine until that bloody assessment.
您的评估只获得了12分
I see you’ve only scored twelve points, er,
您需要15分才能继续领♥取♥福利
and you need 15 to obtain benefits.
什么分数 你们花样够多的
Oh, points, that’s your game?
抱歉先生 据医保
I’m sorry, sir, but according to our health, er,
医保专业人员的记录
health care professional,
您目前尚有工作能力
you’ve been deemed fit for work.
这么说她比我的外科顾问医生
So she knows better than my doctor,
和专业理疗团队还厉害
a consultant surgeon and a physio team?
我要申诉
Well, I wanna appeal.
可以
Well, that’s fine,
但您要先申请 “强制再评估”
but you’ll have to first request a mandatory reconsideration.
这他妈又是什么意思
What the bloody hell does that mean?
意思是 决策者会重新考虑您的申请
It means the decision maker will reconsider it
如果依然驳回 您才能开始申诉
and if he comes to the same decision, you can then appeal.
行 那我就再评估吧
Right, well put us down for that, then.
可以 但您要先等
Okay, sir, but you must wait
决策者给您打电♥话♥
to get a call from the decision maker.
为什么
Why?
告诉您他们再次考虑的结果
To tell you what the decision is.
不是已经出结果了吗
But that’s already been decided.
是 但在收到信函之前
It is, but you’re supposed to get the call,
他们会先打电♥话♥给您
before the letter.
他们还会改变主意不成
Well, is he gonna change his mind?
不 电♥话♥内容就是讨论评估结果
No, the call’s just to discuss the decision.
结果我知道啊
Well, I know what the decision is,
信函就放在我面前呢
I’ve got the letter here in front of us.
不然我读给你听听
D’you want us to read it to you?
收信前应该接到电♥话♥才对啊
But he should have called you first.
可他没打啊
But he didn’t.
但他应该打啊
But he should have.
除非穿越回去 否则咱是扯不清了
Well unless we’ve got a time machine, we’re pretty much knackered,
对吧
divvent you agree?
您必须先接到决策者的电♥话♥ 先生
{ON PHONE) Er, he has to call you first, sir.
听着
Listen,
让他现在接电♥话♥吧
can you not just put him on now,
别再浪费时间了
so I don’t have to waste any more time?
这不行 先生
I can’t do that, sir.
他人在哪
Where is he?
他一有时间就会
He’ll give you a call back when he, er,
-给您电♥话♥的 -什么时候
– he gets the chance. -When?
我也不知道 先生
I don’t know, sir.
真是邪了门了
This is ridiculous, man.
一方面 失业津贴只发放
On the one hand, Jobseeker’s Allowance,
给有工作能力的人
only for those able and ready to work.
如果您有疾病 就只能申请就业支持津贴
But if you’re ill, you have to apply for Employment and Support,
并通过相关评估
get an assessment carried out.
我评估过了 但被驳回了
Well, I’ve done that but they’ve knocked us back.
如果您被判定具备工作能力
Right, well if you’ve been deemed fit for work,
您就只能申请失业津贴
your only option is Jobseeker’s Allowance.
或进行就业支持津贴的申诉
Or proceed with the appeal on Employment and Support.
你能给我张
Well, can you give me a form for…
失业津贴 和
You know, erm, Jobseeker’s Allowance
就业支持津贴的申诉表格吗
and then an appeal form Employment and Support?
表格需要在网上填写
You have to apply online, sir.
我不会上网啊
I cannot do that.
没办法先生 您也可以拨♥打♥求助热♥线♥
Well that’s how it is, sir. Or you can phone the helpline.
要是给我张图纸
Listen, you know, you give me a plot of land,
我分分钟就能盖房♥子
I can build you a house.
可我这辈子都没碰过电脑
But I’ve never been anywhere near a computer.
我们是默认数字化系统
D’you know what, we’re digital by default.
又来了
Oh, here we gan.
“默认数字化” 电♥话♥上都听烦了
I hear this all the time on the phone, “I’m digital by default.”
我还 “默认铅笔化”呢
Well I’m pencil by default.
那些不会上网的人怎么办
Look, I mean, what happens if you just cannae do it?
如果您有阅读障碍 我们有专属热♥线♥
There’s a special number if you’ve been diagnosed as dyslexic.
行啊 反正我在电脑上就是个文盲
Right, well can you give us that? Cos with computers I’m dyslexic.
该选项可以在网页上找到
You’ll find it online, sir.
如果您没有预约
I must ask you to leave now,
我得请您离开了
if you’ve got no appointment.
你有事吗
Right, can I help you?
我来是想换掉现在的工作指导
Yeah, I’m here to see about changing my work coach.
托马斯·阿姆斯特朗
Thomas Armstrong, please.
请等一下 托马斯
Hang on a minute, Thomas, hang on.
您需要坐一下吗
Erm, would you like to take a seat?
我缓一缓就好 突然有点头晕
Oh, I just need a minute. I just felt… I’m just feeling dizzy, you know.
-来坐会吧 -谢谢
– Come and sit down. -Oh, cheers, thanks.
能挪一下吗
Could you move up, please, love?
多谢了
Thanks, pet, thank you.
-好了 我给您拿杯水吧 -谢谢
– All right. I’ll just get you a glass of water. -Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, thank you, pet. Thank you.
没事吧 看您脸色不太好
Are you all right? You look a bit pale.
这些术语 都把我搞晕了
It’s just so bloody confusing, all the jargon.
肯定是哪搞错了
I mean, there must be some mistake.
我一直在兜圈子
I’m just ganning round and round in circles.
我今天真的需要把事情办好
I’ve, I’ve really gotta get this sorted out.
这我明白 但你确实来晚了
Oh I can understand that, but you were late.
托马斯 您喝点水休息一下吧
Thomas. You sit here and drink your water, pet.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在你要处罚我了