我不是你的黑鬼（2016）

《阳光下的葡萄干》D·佩特里执导 1961年
节选自洛琳·汉斯伯里的剧作
你自己跟他解释
when you put him to sleep on the living room couch.
你早上出门
And you tell it to him in the morning,
去照看别人家的孩子时
when his mother goes out of here
你自己跟他解释
to take care of somebody else’s kids.
我们想要些窗帘或帷幕时
And tell it to me, when we want some curtains or some drapes
你偷偷跑去别人家的厨房♥工作
and you sneak out of here
你也要向我解释
and go work in somebody’s kitchen.
我只想为这个家创造一个未来
All I want is to make a future for this family.
我只想能够站在前面护着儿子
All I want is to be able to stand in front of my boy
就像我的爸爸从来没做到的那样
like my father never was able to do to me.
现在我必须简述一下
那次广为人知的跟鲍比·肯尼迪的会面
[1963年5月 洛琳·汉斯伯里也一同前往]
如果洛琳·汉斯伯里还活着
Lorraine Hansberry would not be very much younger
应该也比我小不了几岁
than I am now, if she were alive.
在与鲍比·肯尼迪会面时
At the time of the Bobby Kennedy meeting,
她三十三岁
she was thirty-three.
那是我见她能自己站起来的最后几次之一
That was one of the very last times I saw her on her feet,
她在三十四岁时去世
and she died at the age of thirty-four.
我很想念她
I miss her so much.
人们会忘记那时大家都还多么年轻
People forget how young everybody was.
鲍比·肯尼迪便是另一个挺不同的例子
Bobby Kennedy, for another, quite different example,
他去世时只有三十八岁
was thirty-eight.
我们想请他向他哥哥肯尼迪总统转达
We wanted him to tell his brother, the president,
请他在会见的当天或第二天
to personally escort to school,
亲自护送一名计划进入南方腹地学校就读的
on that day or the day after, a small black girl,
黑人小女孩入学
already scheduled to enter Deep South School.
“这样就能表明” 我们说
“That way,” We said,
“朝那个女孩吐唾沫的人
“It will be clear that whoever spits on that child
是在侮辱整个国家”
will be spitting on the nation.”
当时他也不理解这一点
He didn’t understand this either.
他说 “那只是毫无意义的道德姿态”
“It would be,” he said, “a meaningless moral gesture.”
洛琳说 “我们想要你们的道德承诺”
“We would like,” said Lorraine, “from you, a moral commitment”.
他看起来像受到了侮辱
He looked insulted,
似乎觉得自己在浪费时间
seemed to feel that he’d been wasting his time.
但洛琳静静地坐着 一直看着他
Well, Lorraine sat still, watching all the while.
她看着鲍比·肯尼迪
She looked at Bobby Kennedy,
他也看了看她 也许是第一次
who, perhaps for the first time, looked at her.
“我很为我们的文明担心” 她说
“But I am very worried,” she said,
“它在伯明翰制♥造♥出了
“about the state of the civilization
“白人警♥察♥用膝盖
which produced that photograph of the white cop
压在黑人女性脖子上的画面”
standing on that Negro woman’s neck in Birmingham.”
然后她笑了笑
Then she smiled.
我很高兴她不是冲着我笑的
And I am glad that she was not smiling at me.
“再见 司法部长先生” 她说完
“Goodbye Mr. Attorney General,” she said,
转身走出了房♥间
and turned and walked out of the room.
之后 我们听到了那条噩耗
And then, we heard the thunder.
洛琳·汉斯伯里逝世 享年三十四岁
曾出版剧作《阳光下的葡萄干》
我最后一次与梅德加·埃弗斯见面
是在前往机场的途中 他在他家停了一下
…He stopped at his house on the way to the airport
好让我在书上签名 送给他和他的妻儿
so I could autograph my books for him, his wife and children.
我记得莫莉·埃弗斯笑着站在外面
I remember Myrlie Evers standing outside, smiling,
我们挥手告别
and we waved,
梅德加开车把我送到机场 又送上了飞机
and Medgar drove to the airport and put me on the plane.
几个月后 我在波多黎各
Months later, I was in Puerto Rico,
正在打磨我的剧本
working on my play.
卢锡安和我花了差不多一天时间
Lucien and I had spent a day or so
在岛上溜达
wandering around the island,
当时我们正在开车回家的路上
and now we were driving home.
那是一个阳光灿烂的美好日子
It was a wonderful, bright, sunny day,
我们开着敞篷车 边笑边聊
the top to the car was down, we were laughing and talking,
收音机里播放着歌♥曲
and the radio was playing.
突然音乐停了下来
Then the music stopped…
一个声音宣布梅德加·埃弗斯
…and a voice announced that Medgar Evers
在自家的车♥库♥里中弹身亡
had been shot to death in the carport of his home,
他的妻儿目睹了这一惨景
and his wife and children had seen the big man fall.
警方发现一把来♥福♥枪♥ 认定为谋杀埃弗斯的工具
♪ They lowered him down as a king ♪
“勇往直前” D·A·彭贝克 1967年
♪ But when the shadowy sun ♪
♪ Sets on the one ♪
♪ That fired the gun ♪
♪ He’ll see by his grave ♪
♪ On the stone that remains ♪
♪ Carved next to his name ♪
♪ His epitaph plain ♪
♪ Only a pawn in their game ♪
幽蓝的天空像一张大幕般徐徐落下
The blue sky seemed to descend like a blanket.
我说不出话 也哭不出来
And I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t cry.
我只记得他的脸庞
I just remembered his face,
他那明净 率真而英俊的脸庞
a bright, blunt, handsome face,
他那永远挂在脸上的倦意
and his weariness, which he wore like his skin,
他那独特的发音
and the way he said “ro-aad” for road.
他告诉我 他每天都要经过的一棵树上
And his telling me how the tatters of clothes
挂着一具被绞死的尸体 挂了好几天
from a lynched body hung, flapping in the tree for days,
尸体的褴褛衣衫随风拍打在树上
and how he had to pass that tree every day.
梅德加
Medgar.
走了
Gone.
♪ Baby, please don’t go ♪
♪ Baby, please don’t go ♪
♪ Baby, please don’t go back to New Orleans ♪
♪ You know I love you, so baby, please don’t go ♪
在美国 我只能自♥由♥地战斗
In America, I was free only in battle,
而永远无法自♥由♥地休息
never free to rest,
而无法休息的人
and he who finds no way to rest
是无法在战斗中存活下来的
cannot long survive the battle.
而这位年轻白人革命者的形象
And the young, white revolutionary remains,
总的来说远比黑人革命者要浪漫得多
in general, far more romantic than a black one.
白人终其一生
White people have managed to
都可以活得这样快乐
get through entire lifetimes in this euphoric state,
但黑人就没有那么幸运了
but black people have not been so lucky.
比如说 如果黑人
A black man who sees the world
用约翰·韦恩[《关山飞渡》主演]那样的视角看待世界
the way John Wayne, for example, sees it…
记住梅德加·埃弗斯 一个真正的美国英雄
他就不会被视为性情古怪的爱国者
would not be an eccentric patriot,
黑鬼 你不也奢望自己是白人吗
而是一个极端的疯子
but a raving maniac.
事实是 这个国家不知道
The truth is that this country does not know what to do
让白人继续统治阿♥拉♥巴马州
如何与黑人相处
with its black population,
他们幻想着所谓的终极解决方案
dreaming of anything like “The Final Solution”.
黑人群体从未
The Negro has never been
像白人希望的那样温顺可欺
as docile as white Americans wanted to believe.
那是他们沉迷的神话
That was a myth.
我们并不会沿着堤坝唱歌♥跳舞
We were not singing and dancing down the levee.
我们在努力求生
We were trying to keep alive,
我们试图在一个十分残酷的体制里活下来
we were trying to survive a very brutal system.
黑人们在这片土地上从未幸福过
The nigger has never been happy in his place.
而一个糟糕的事实是
One of the most terrible things,
不管我是否喜欢
is that, whether I like it or not,
我是一个美国人
I am an American.
我的学校就是纽约的街头
My school really was the streets of New York City.
我们的榜样就是
My frame of reference was…
乔治·华盛顿和约翰·韦恩
George Washington and John Wayne.
我当时只是个孩子 当孩子看待世界时
But I was a child, you know, and when a child puts his eyes
他只能借助他看到的事物
on the world, he has to use what he sees.
他们没有其它的认识工具
There’s nothing else to use.
于是你看到的事物塑造了你
And you are formed by what you see,
你做出的每个选择塑造了你
the choices you have to make, and the way you discover
你发现在纽约或在美国
what it means to be black in New York
身为黑人意味着什么 也塑造了你
and then throughout the entire country.
我知道当你长大一些后
I know how you watch, as you grow older,
我不是夸大其词
and it’s not a figure of speech,
你会看到你兄弟姐妹的尸体
the corpses of your brothers and your sisters
塔米尔·莱斯
堆放在你面前
pile up around you.
不是因为他们做了什么
And not for anything they have done.
达里乌斯·西蒙斯
他们年纪轻轻 什么都还干不了
They were too young to have done anything.
特雷凡·马丁
但你的确意识到 当你试图奋起反抗
But what one does realize is that when you try to stand up
阿娅娜·斯坦利-琼斯