我不是你的黑鬼（2016）

对于这本书的写作和出版
我希望你务必要跟我一样保持好奇心
严格来说 怎么完成我心里有数
I know how to do it, technically.
只需要研究和旅行
It is a matter of research and journeys.
不论你是否支持 我都会去做
And with you or without you, I will do it anyway.
我从九月开始踏上旅途
I begin in September, when I go on the road.
“旅途”意味着回到南方
“The road” means my return to the South.
比如 拜会一下莫莉·埃弗斯
It means briefly, for example, seeing Myrlie Evers,
和孩子们
and the children.
孩子们都已经长大
Those children who are children no longer.
意味着回到亚特兰大 塞尔玛 伯明翰
It means going back to Atlanta, to Selma, to Birmingham.
看望一下科瑞塔·斯科特·金
It means seeing Coretta Scott King,
以及马丁的孩子们
and Martin’s children.
我知道马丁的女儿
I know that Martin’s daughter,
名字不记得了
whose name I don’t remember,
和马尔科姆的大女儿阿塔拉
and Malcolm’s oldest daughter,
都在剧院工作
whose name is Attalah are both in the theatre,
她们显然是好友
and apparently are friends.
意味着探望马尔科姆的遗孀贝蒂·沙巴兹
It means seeing Betty Shabazz, Malcolm’s widow,
和五个幼小的孩子
and the five younger children.
意味着我以见证者的身份走了出来
It means exposing myself as one of the witnesses
我见证了他们著名的父亲所经历的生死浮沉
to the lives and deaths of their famous fathers.
这个旅程的意义远远不止如此
And it means much, much more than that.
“如云彩般围绕的见证人” 使徒保罗曾这样说
“A cloud of witnesses,” as old St. Paul once put it.
《圣经·希伯来书》12:1
见证人
我最先认识的是马尔科姆·X
我认识他之前就见过他
I saw Malcolm before I met him.
当时我在纽约某地做演讲
I was giving a lecture somewhere in New York.
马尔科姆坐在大厅第一排
Malcolm was sitting in the first row of the hall,
身体十分前倾 两条长胳膊
bending forward at such an angle that his long arms
越过两条大长腿 几乎要碰到脚踝
nearly caressed the ankles of his long legs,
他抬头盯着我
staring up at me.
我几乎惊慌失措
I very nearly panicked.
我只是听过马尔科姆的传奇
I knew Malcolm only by legend, and this legend,
而在我还是游荡在哈莱姆区街头的孩子时
since I was a Harlem street boy,
就有足够的智慧对这个传奇保持怀疑
I was sufficiently astute to distrust.
马尔科姆或许说得上是白人所称的火炬
Malcolm might be the torch that white people claim he was,
但总的来说
though, in general,
美国白人对这些事情的看法
white America’s evaluations of these matters
就算没有造成那么多恶果
would be laughable and even pathetic
也本是可笑甚至可悲的
did not these evaluations have such wicked results.
另一方面
On the other hand,
马尔科姆也没理由信任我
Malcolm had no reason to trust me either.
所以在马尔科姆目不转睛的注视下
And so I stumbled through my lecture,
我磕磕绊绊地完成了演讲
with Malcolm never taking his eyes from my face.
作为全美有色人种协会的一员
As a member of the NAACP,
梅德加当时在调查数月前发生的
Medgar was investigating the murder of a black man,
一起谋杀黑人案
which had occurred months before,
他给我看了黑人们拜托他
had shown me letters from black people
调查此事的信件
asking him to do this,
并让我跟着一起去
and he had asked me to come with him.
♪ Raise up ♪
♪ Get yourself together, And drive that funky soul ♪
我害怕极了
I was terribly frightened,
但也许这次实地调查
but perhaps that fieldtrip will help us define
能帮我们定义”见证人”这个词
what I mean by the word “Witness”.
我那时发现见证人和行动者之间的界限
I was to discover that the line which separates a witness
真的非常模糊
from an actor is a very thin line indeed.
然而 界限是真实存在的
Nevertheless, the line is real.
比如说 我不是黑人穆♥斯♥林♥
I was not, for example, a Black Muslim,
同样 虽然出于不同原因
in the same way, though for different reasons,
我也没加入过黑豹党
that I never became a Black Panther.
因为我不相信所有白人都是恶魔
Because I did not believe that all white people were devils,
黑豹党
我也不希望年轻黑人那样想
and I did not want young black people to believe that.
我不是基♥督♥教会成员
I was not a member of any Christian congregation
因为我知道那些教♥徒♥从未听从
because I knew that they had not heard
也并不遵守戒律
and did not live by the commandment,
“你们要彼此相爱 像我爱你们一样””Love one another as I love you.”
《圣经·约翰福音》13:34
我也不是全美有色人种协会成员
And I was not a member of the NAACP
因为在我长大的北方
because in the North, where I grew up,
受黑人阶级差异 或者这种错觉的影响
the NAACP was fatally entangled with black class distinctions,
全美有色人种协会总部欢迎你
6月26日至7月2日
协会已陷入严重混乱
or illusions of the same,
我这种擦鞋童自然被排除在外
which repelled a shoe-shine boy like me.
我不必日复一日 时刻不歇地
I did not have to deal with the criminal state of Mississippi,
应对密西西比州的犯罪状况
hour by hour and day by day,
更不必说夜复一夜了
to say nothing of night after night.
我不必在做出涉及万千性命的决定后
I did not have to sweat cold sweat after decisions
浑身冒冷汗
involving hundreds of thousands of lives.
我不负责筹钱
I was not responsible for raising money,
也不决定怎么花
or deciding how to use it.
我不负责策划
I was not responsible for strategy
为自♥由♥投票
投票登记
祈祷会 游♥行♥
controlling prayer-meetings, marches,
请♥愿♥ 投票登记等活动
petitions, voting registration drives.
我看到了警长 副警长
I saw the Sheriffs, the Deputies,
突击队员 或多或少都会路过
the Storm Troopers, more or less in passing.
我从来不在镇上定居
I was never in town to stay.
有时候我的良心因此受到煎熬
This was sometimes hard on my morale,
但我必须承认 随着时间流逝
but I had to accept, as time were on,
我作为见证人的部分责任
that part of my responsibility, as a witness,
是尽可能大胆并自♥由♥地去做事
was to move as largely and as freely as possible.
《来自我内心的一封信》
把故事写出来 公之于世
To write the story, and to get it out.
1966年3月
美国联邦调查局备忘录
詹姆斯·阿瑟·鲍德温相关信息
供联邦调查局局长艾伦·罗森参考
局里资料显示 黑人作家鲍德温
生于纽约 曾旅居欧洲
因写作探讨黑白人种关系的作品而负有盛名
据说鲍德温可能是同性恋 他看起来的确很像
我们应该共同关心一个问题
We should all be concerned with but one goal,
根除犯罪
the eradication of crime.
约翰·埃德加·胡佛 联邦调查局局长
联邦调查局与你
The Federal Bureau of Investigation is as close to you
只有一个电♥话♥的距离
as your nearest telephone.
在管辖范围内
It seeks to be your protector
联邦调查局会全力保护你
in all matters within its jurisdiction.
联邦调查局属于人♥民♥
It belongs to you.
种族融合是共♥产♥主义
停止种族融合
所得信息显然表明 此人是危险分子
有可能在紧急状态下
实施损害美国国防和公众安全的行为
所以他的名字已被列入安全名单
白人们被伯明翰震惊了
White people are astounded by Birmingham.
1963年 阿♥拉♥巴马州爆发了伯明翰运动
而黑人们并没有
Black people aren’t.
白人无休止的要求确认
White people are endlessly demanding to be reassured
伯明翰其实在火星
that Birmingham is really on Mars.
发生在伯明翰的事
They don’t want to believe, still less to act on the belief,
正在全国上演
that what is happening in Birmingham
而他们不愿相信 更没有付诸行动
is happening all over the country.
他们不想知道 无论是道德上还是实际上
They don’t want to realize that there is not one step,
伯明翰和洛杉矶
morally or actually,
根本没有区别
between Birmingham and Los Angeles.
阿♥拉♥巴马州 伯明翰民权运动 1963年
退后 退后
Move on, move on!
今天我们请来了三位嘉宾
We’ve invited three men,
肯尼斯·克拉克博士 “黑人与美国的前途” 1963年
都是黑人运动的先锋人物
on the forefront of The Negro Struggle,
他们会在电视机前
to sit down and talk with us
与大家交流
in front of the television camera.
他们以各自的言语和行动
Each of these men, through his actions and his words,
用迥异的方式
but with vastly different manner and means,
代表着当今的一些黑人派别
is a spokesman for some segment of the Negro people today.
四百年来 我国黑人一直是
Black people in this country have been the victims
白人暴♥力♥的受害者
of violence at the hands of the white man for 400 years.
而跟着那些无知的黑人神父
And following the ignorant negro preachers,
我们曾以为面对正在施虐的禽兽
we have thought that it was Godlike to turn the other cheek
把另一边脸送上前是上帝的旨意