偷龙转凤

A South American gentleman, I believe, sir.
有些神经质
Of an excitable nature.
-他是谁 -我不知道
-Who’s he? -I don’t know.
天哪
Oh, my God!
小姐 先生 我必须
Mademoiselle, monsieur. I must…
在这里
Here it is!
如你所说
Just as you said…
迄今最伟大的
only greater by far!
我很抱歉 我收到紧急电♥话♥ 我国发生了革命
I must apologize. I had an urgent call. A revolution in my country.
而且 我的几个矿场被淹了 我必须马上赶回去
Also, some of my mines are flooded. I must go back soon.
但我不能不来向您询问一下这件艺术品就离开巴黎
I couldn’t bear to leave Paris without consulting you about this.
-先生 这是非卖♥♥品 -但你说你可能 你说你
-Senor, it is not for sale. -But you said you might… You said you…
这是非卖♥♥品
It is not for sale!
-再见 -我能看出是出自大♥师♥之手
-Goodbye. -I can see the hand of a master!
再见 一路走好
Goodbye. Adios.
荒唐的小子
Preposterous little man!
我是在那场创纪录的塞尚作品拍卖♥♥会上
I met him at the auction when my Cezanne…
认识他的
fetched such a stunning price.
知道我为什么不卖♥♥吗 它价值连城 甚至可以创造神话
Why not? It was worth a stunning price. Even more!
这将不会是一个丑闻 而是一次成就
This will not be a scandal, but a triumph!
让那些专家们蜂拥而至吧
Let the experts come pouring in!
让他们带上X射线 显微镜
Let them bring their X-rays, their microscopes…
如果愿意的话带核武器都没问题
even their nuclear weapons if they like.
还记得范米杰伦
Remember what happened with van Meegeren…
和他那些模仿维米尔的作品吗 那些专家被玩的团团转
and all those forged Vermeers? He drove the experts crazy.
他战无不胜 所向披靡
He won every round, fought them, and then emerged the victor.
他最后一幅模仿维米尔的作品亦获得巨大成功
He finally painted one last Vermeer and even that was a triumph.
警卫都对他卓越的画作惊叹不已
The guards marveled at the brilliance of his brushwork.
连他的狱友都觉得难以置信
Even his fellow inmates couldn’t believe their eyes.
连监狱长都…
And the governor of the prison, he…
爸爸 里兹大酒店的电♥话♥是多少
What’s the number of the Hotel Ritz?
Opera 2830.
晚上好
Good evening.
我快认不出你了 鸟枪换炮了
I didn’t recognize you. You look, somehow, different.
-苏格兰威士忌 -我也一样
-Scotch. -Likewise.
收到你的邀请真让我手足无措 是受宠若惊 小姐…
I was surprised to hear from you. Surprised and pleased, Miss…
请别泄漏名字
Please, no names.
如果怕让人听到的话 不如到我楼上的房♥间去喝一杯
If it’s all that private, I’ve got a bottle in my room upstairs.
是谈正事
This is a business meeting.
我需要一个像你这样的老♥江♥湖…
I find I have need of someone with your talents and experience…
请别泄漏名字
Please, no names!
你想不想参与一场惊天大行动
You interested in a big-time caper?
-干什么 -一次洗劫
-A what? -A heist.
你是说盗窃
You mean a burglary.
伙计 买♥♥卖♥♥多大
What’s the score, baby?
大买♥♥卖♥♥
Won’t be easy.
好吧 偷什么 算我一个
That’s okay. What’s the job? I’m in.
-克莱伯·拉法叶特博物馆 -我退出
-The Kleber-Lafayette Museum. -I’m out!
为什么非得在那儿
Why that particular spot?
因为切利尼的维纳斯在那儿
The Cellini Venus.
你的切利尼的维纳斯
Your Cellini Venus?
不完全是我的 它是我们家族的象征
Well, it’s not mine exactly. It’s sort of in the family.
算了 本来这事就和你无关
Anyway, that should be no concern of yours.
你想把它偷走
You want to steal it?
为什么
Why?
是个表演项目吗
Is it a publicity stunt?
天哪 不是 因为它很值钱 价值一百万美元
Lord, no! It’s very valuable. It’s worth $1,000,000!
我知道 所以也有一百万个警♥察♥在它四周巡逻
I know. There are also 1,000,000 policemen prowling around it.
为了一美元就要对付一个警♥察♥ 得不偿失
That’s about a dollar a policeman. I don’t like the rate of exchange.
-这么说你不干啰 -不干
-You mean you won’t do it? -No.
-肯定不干吗 -君子一言
-Are you sure? -Quite sure.
我很抱歉
I’m sorry.
多谢抬举
Thank you for thinking of me.
那么 先干了这杯吧
Look, finish your drink.
我得走了
I have to go.
你是说真的
Are you really serious?
你也看到了 你的雕塑四周戒备森严
You’ve seen the way your statue is protected.
电子眼 警卫
The Electric Eye, the guards…
其实 我本打算让你对付这些小玩意儿的
Well, I was hoping to leave those details to you.
我们明天再干吧
I’ll sleep on it and…
现在太晚了 博物馆都关门了
It’s too late, the museum’s closed.
早上我们会察看一下整栋建筑
We’ll look over the premises in the morning.
我们管这个叫”踩点”
What we call in the trade “casing the joint.”
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
看 现在还早 我带你体验一下真正的巴黎
Look, it’s early. Why don’t I show you the real Paris.
你真是个热心肠
That’s very kind of you.
我住这儿 我在巴黎出生的
I live here. I was born in Paris.
我忘了 那么你带我体验一下真正的巴黎好吗
I forgot. Why don’t you show me the real Paris?
-我快要摔下去了 -真对不起
-I only have two inches left of this bench. -I’m terribly sorry.
明天何时何地碰头
Where and what time tomorrow?
我发现最成功的计划
I find that the most successful jobs of this kind are planned…
总是在轻松的氛围中完成的 所以我们明天要大吃一顿
when everyone is relaxed. So let’s meet and have a nice, long, cozy lunch.
早上十点在加百利大街和马里尼大街的十字路口
Corner of avenue Gabriel, avenue Marigny, 10:00 a.m.
-一言为定 -一言为定
-Right? -Right.
你是担心那些警♥察♥吗
Is it those police that worry you so?
对 还有这些
Yes. And these.
但那是内政部 总是戒备森严
But that’s the Ministry of the Interior. It’s always guarded.
他们怎么对付
What about them?
他们不会碍事的 他们只负责警戒政♥府♥大楼
They don’t have anything to do with us. They’re guarding government buildings.
那是总统官邸
That’s where the President lives.
我知道
I know.
你想洗劫的博物馆到了
And the museum you want to stick up is right here.
唾手可得
Very handy!
对我而言是小菜一碟
I can practically taste the bread and water!
-这不可能 -什么
-It can’t be! -What?
等一下 我想我看到了相似之处
Well, for a moment, I thought I saw a resemblance.
什么相似之处
Resemblance to what?
你和
You and…
别傻了 她至少四百岁了
That’s silly! She’s at least 400 years old.
我知道 但是
I know, but…
对不起
Sorry.
十六世纪初你在哪儿
Where exactly were you in the early part of the 16th century?
我不知道 但我从不♥穿♥成那样
I don’t know, but that’s not how I was dressed.
这里谁负责
Who’s in charge here?
先生 有何吩咐
Sir! At your service!
我是旅游局专员 助理副♥主♥席♥ 迪布瓦
Dubois, Assistant Deputy Chairman, Commissioner of Tourism.
这里没有日常打扫吗
Isn’t this place cleaned regularly?
看看这个袖子 刚刚擦了一下木器就成这样了
Look at this sleeve, just from brushing against the woodwork.
很抱歉 不过我们有完善的女清扫工队伍
I’m sorry, but we have a complete staff of cleaning women.
我猜是一月打扫一次
Once a month, I suppose.
不 先生 每晚都打扫 午夜到凌晨四点
No, sir, every night, from midnight until 4:00 a.m.
督促她们好好干活 不然我会向上级反映的
See they do their jobs properly, or I’ll make a report.
遵命 先生
Yes, sir.
-继续做事吧 -谢谢你 先生
-Carry on. -Thank you, sir.
先生
Sir!
-走这边 -是吗
-This way. -Really?
一入行就干一百万的大买♥♥卖♥♥
Don’t you think it’s being a bit pushy,
你不觉得有些急功近利吗
starting with a million-dollar robbery?
我是说 我们必须循序渐进
I mean, we’ve got to walk before we can run, you know.
我知道有个小画廊 我们可以先洗劫那个
I know a little gallery we could knock over…
就当是热热身 顺便
just to get our feet wet so to speak and then…
壮壮胆 然后再干这个惊天动地的大买♥♥卖♥♥
gathering confidence as we go, we could move into the big time.
-不好吗 -一点不好
-No good? -No good at all.
下一个问题
Next question.
为什么非得偷这件艺术品
Why must it be this particular work of art?
你不会以为我会偷别人的东西吧
Well, you don’t think I’d steal something that didn’t belong to me, do you?
抱歉 我一向说话不经大脑
Excuse me, I spoke without thinking.
你为什么不等它送回家再偷呢
Why not wait until you get it back home and steal it then?
不会造成任何恐慌和混乱 监守自盗更加干净利落
No muss, no fuss, a nice, clean inside job.
-我很愿意助你一臂之力 -这可不是心血来潮的恶作剧
-I’ll be delighted to offer my services. -This is not a prank or a whim.
我是身不由己 因为
It’s something I must do…