如何死亡：西蒙的抉择（2016）

直到我被诊断之前我都非常开心
I was extremely happy until my diagnosis.
我能感觉到我的身体每周都在变化
I can feel my body changing week by week,
现在我喘不上气了
and I’m now short of breath.
我很快就不能开车了
I’m going to give up driving a car imminently.
这对我来说是件悲伤的事
It’s very sad for me.
我接不了电♥话♥ 也不能做工作中的主心骨
I can’t answer the phone or be a driving force at work.
在工作中 你要让大家都有动力
In business, you need people to motivate
给大家描绘光明的未来
and paint sunlit visions of the future.
我现在做不到了
And I can’t do that any more.
本来 我们打算把公♥司♥卖♥♥了
Originally, we were going to sell our business,
但我想到我可以给继女汉娜一个机会
but I thought I would give my stepdaughter Hannah
看看她能不能做成
the opportunity to see if she could do it.
很好 你还好吗
Good. How are you?
我有点累了
把这个
加到下个月的总收入里
明白吗
-把这个加进收入里 -对
– Add this to the gross. – Yes.
这个月的
This month?
-不 -下个月的
– No. – Next month.
他曾是运营总监
He was operations director –
管人事 组织会议 什么都管
managing staff, organising meetings, everything.
因此我们能给人们省一大笔钱
So, we could save people a huge amount of money.
培训视频 奈杰尔的社交方式
那么在贵司 我们需要…
So, who would it… Your company, who would it be…
抱歉 您的名字是
Sorry, your name again was…?
是布兰达吗 对不起是黛布拉 抱歉
Is it Brenda? Sorry, Deborah, sorry.
我们应该联♥系♥贵公♥司♥的哪位呢
Who is it in your company that we would need to speak to?
他总是人们注意力的焦点
He was always the centre of attention,
社交聚会的中心人物
the life and soul of the party.
早上好 女士们先生们 早上好
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, good morning!
我叫洛可·安切洛蒂
My name’s Rocco, Rocco Ancelotti,
来自纽约市的全球铅笔公♥司♥
with the Global Pencil Company, here in New York City.
我二月刚来时 西蒙大多数时候都在这里
When I first came in February, Simon was here most days.
现在西蒙一周大概只来一两天
Now, Simon’s probably here only one to two days a week,
他很容易感到疲累
he gets quite tired.
守得云开见月明
如果我身体好
无论什么情况下
我都不会把公♥司♥交出去
交给汉娜
别跟我开玩笑
但生活教会了我很多事
因为事实上
她很有才华
她在很多方面
都比我优秀
佐伊 汉娜和汉娜的孩子们
我想看着他们长大
我会错过一切
有时那让我
坐在那里哭
想到那些
我会错过的事
我是个不受约束的人
I’m an independent type of guy
运动神经元病晚期不是我该得的病
and the endgame of motor neurone disease is not to my taste.
我就像一辆二手车 已经疲惫不堪了
Like a used car, I’m worn out,
也不再值得继续投入修理的成本
and it’s no longer worth investing in the cost of repairs.
一月我确诊后
When we drove back from hospital
我们从医院开车回来时
after my diagnosis ‘in January,
国王大学医院
坐在车上的途中 我决定
I decided then, en route in the car,
我要么自杀
that I would have to either kill myself
要么以某种方式安乐死
or be euthanised in some way.
运动神经元病是种很可怕的疾病
Motor neurone disease is a horrible disease to get.
通常 半年到一年间
Typically, over six months to a year,
患者的语言功能会每况愈下
their speaking is likely to get worse and worse
艾哈·沙拉比教授
西蒙的神经病学顾问医生
直到某一天
until at some point,
其他人都将无法理解他们说的话
they won’t be able to be understood by others.
最终 他们的手臂将完全瘫痪
Eventually, the arms will become completely paralysed,
腿部也会越来越无力
the legs will become weaker and weaker,
最终
until eventually,
患者需要拐杖才能走路
someone will need a stick to walk,
然后是助行器 接着是轮椅
then a walking frame, then a wheelchair.
但最终真正让他们丧命的
But the thing that really carries people off
是呼吸困难
is breathing difficulty.
这是致命的 因为在某一时刻
It’s fatal because, at some point,
控制膈肌的肌肉将会受到影响
the muscles controlling the diaphragm will be affected.
当患者膈肌无力时
And when someone gets diaphragm weakness,
他们会呼吸短促
they become short of breath,
我们有东西能帮助他们熬过…
and we have things that can support people through that…
那些症状
through those symptoms,
但总有一天 辅助也无法起任何作用
but, at some point, it becomes impossible.
妈咪
Mummy!
大家或许会想
People might think,
如果他们身体健全 能到处走动
if they’re able-bodied and able to walk around,
他们会想 “我永远不要坐在轮椅上”
they might think, “I would never want to be in a wheelchair.”
但并非第二天他们就会坐在轮椅上
But it’s not that the next day they’ll be in a wheelchair,
是一年内 他们或许会坐在轮椅上
it’s that, in a year’s time they might be in a wheelchair.
在此过程中
The process of getting to that point,
他们还要适应疾病的其它方面
they’ll have adapted to other aspects of the illness,
人们实际应对起来
people actually cope far better
要比自己起初认为的好得多
than they might have thought at the beginning.
几乎没人选择安乐死
Hardly anybody chooses assisted dying,
小于1%的病人会选择安乐死
less than 1% of our patients choose it.
大部分病人选择姑息治疗
The vast majority choose palliative care
平静地死去
and a peaceful death in that way.
我不会那么做
我会选一个日子
未来的那天
我会说
就是今天了
我要去瑞士
我一直很反对安乐死
I’ve always been quite anti assisted dying.
我以前以为这只是晚餐的谈资
It’s one of those dinner party conversations you have,
从未想过
never dreaming that you’d actually
有一天自己会重视这个话题
ever actually be having this conversation.
一想到要坐飞机
I think an assisted death,
带他去瑞士安乐死
getting on a plane and going to Switzerland,
我就觉得身体不舒服
actually, even the thought of it makes me feel physically sick,
而且我越来越害怕
and I feel more and more,
说实话 我非常害怕
if I’m honest, utterly terrified of
面对安乐死
what it will be like, what the…
太多数人都没有接触过
And it’s outside of most people’s experience, so, um…
你有劝过他放弃吗
Have you tried to persuade him not to?
我也说不好 我…
I don’t know, I feel… I feel very…
不敢再让他失望了
frightened to upset him any more.
他现在很沮丧
Because he is very upset,
虽然你不一定能发现
though you wouldn’t necessarily see it,
但他现在很脆弱
but he is becoming quite vulnerable.
我觉得人们生病后变脆弱很正常
As I think people do when they become ill,
无论多么坚强的人 一旦得病以后
however strong you are, when you become physically ill,
就会变得很脆弱
you become more vulnerable.
所以我大部分时间都会避免这些话题
So, I think I kind of avoid conversations a lot of the time
只会问他
and just say,
“喝杯茶吗”之类的话…
“Oh, a cup of tea?”
期望能安稳度日
Doing those… Trying to make everyday life OK.
但我们不怎么谈论这事
But, um, so, we don’t really talk about it
我也不能提 因为一提…
and I almost can’t talk about it, because it…
就会感觉更加真实
makes it more real.
人有死亡的权力吗
Should people have the right to die?
这个问题已提出多年
It’s a question that’s been asked for years.
在英国 鼓励或帮助自杀为刑事犯罪
在英格兰和威尔士
Helping someone to kill themselves
帮助他人自杀
is currently punishable in England and Wales
将被处以最高十四年的有期徒刑
by up to 14 years in prison.
对一个社会来说
There could be few issues
没有几个问题比如何对待绝症患者
of more fundamental importance to society
更加重要的了
than how we treat the terminally ill.
在欧洲 安乐死在荷兰 比利时 卢森堡和瑞士合法
瑞士 巴塞尔
发件人 西蒙·宾纳
收件人 艾瑞卡·帕特里夏医生
19号♥ 周四
Thursday 19th.
发给艾瑞卡·帕特里夏医生的电邮
E-mail to Dr Erika Preisig.
你好 帕特里夏医生
Hello, Dr Preisig.
我57岁 2015年1月7日