希望沟壑（2019）

你好啊 妈妈
Hello, Mom.
你好啊 陌生人
Hello, stranger.
你好啊 妈妈
Hello, Mom.
杰米
Jamie.
爸
Dad.
杰米 杰米
Jamie, Jamie.
真高兴你能来
Thanks for coming.
你路上怎么样
How was your journey?
不错
Not bad.
我三点四十六分到的
I got the 3:46.
晚点了
Running late.
在路易斯转的车
Only just made the connection at Lewis.
这年头不能再相信火车的时间了
Can’t trust the trains these days.
那我 我把包送上去
I’ll just… I’ll drop my stuff off.
你觉得他高兴吗
Do you think he’s happy?
我觉得他在自己的公♥寓♥里很开心
I think he’s happy in that flat of his.
你真这样觉得吗
Do you?
什么都靠自己
All on his own?
确实那里就他一个人
Well, there’s that, of course.
但是他过着他想要生活的方式
But he has it the way he wants it.
省了刷碗的麻烦事
No washing up to speak of.
你用一个盘子 刷干净 它就随时待用了
You use a plate, wash it, and there it is ready to use again.
你不会突然没有牛奶喝 因为
You do not run out of milk because you’re
你一个人喝 所以你十分清楚
the only one drinking it, so you know how much
冰箱里还剩多少
there is left in the fridge.
都是生活中的细节 但也很重要
Just little things, I know, but they have value.
听起来好像你在嫉妒他
Well, you sound as if you envy him.
没有
No.
我不觉得那样好 独自缩在一个小地方
Well, I don’t think it’s good for anyone, hiding in a hole,
生活千篇一律
having everything always be the same.
杰米 你还要多长时间
Jamie, are you going to be long?
快了
Not long.
我们把蜡烛点上庆祝杰米回来吧
Let’s have candles to celebrate Jamie coming home.
好啊 何不呢
Yes, why not.
下周 我们就结婚整整29年了
Next week, we’ll have been married 29 years.
是啊 我想应该是的
Yes, I suppose we will.
你有什么计划吗
Do you have something in mind?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
比如那天晚上我们去哪吃个晚饭
Well, where we go out for dinner.
如果你想去就去吧
If that’s what you’d want.
我不想
No, it isn’t.
不想去吗
It isn’t?
不想
No.
好吧 那我们就不出去吃了
All right, then we won’t go out.
天哪 爱德华
Oh, for God’s sake, Edward.
我说什么错话了吗
Did I say something wrong?
我说我们结婚纪念日那天出去吃饭
Well, I say will we go out for dinner on our anniversary
你说你想去就去吧 然后我说不想
and you say if that’s what you want and I say it isn’t and you
然后你就说 那就不去吧
say then we won’t.
但是我确实想在结婚纪念日那天出去吃饭
But I do want to go out for dinner on our anniversary.
要不然你觉得我为什么会提出来呢
Why do you think I suggested it?
那你为什么又说你不想
Then why say you don’t?
因为我不想出去吃是因为我想出去吃
Because I don’t want to do it because I want to do it.
我想出去吃是因为你想出去吃
I want to do it because you want to do it.
所以你想出去吃饭吗
So do you want to do it?
我想
Yes.
所以你会提前预定个地方吗
So will you book somewhere?
会
Yeah.
不要订去年你挑的那个糟糕的地方
Not that awful place you chose last year.
也许应该由你订位置
Maybe you should make booking.
什么事都要我去做吗
Do I have to do everything?
你明早要去做弥撒吗 杰米
Will you be coming to mass in the morning, Jamie?
天主教宗教仪式
妈 你知道我早就不去了
Mom, you know I don’t do that anymore.
为什么不去了
Why not?
你是不是已经不相信上帝了
Have you stopped believing in God?
差不多
More or less.
为什么
Why?
是因为世界上有那么多的苦难吗
Is it because of all the suffering in the world?
对 部分原因吧
That’s a part of it, yes.
但是你还没懂吗 这正是为什么
But don’t you see, that’s exactly
我们需要有神的存在
why there has to be a God.
如果人生本就很苦 人们怎么受得了
If this world was all there is, how could we bear it?
爱德华 你说为什么上帝允许苦难
Edward, explain why God allows the suffering.
因为 自♥由♥意志 对吧
It’s, um… it’s about free will, isn’t it?
杰米都懂的
Jamie knows all this.
不 不 继续
No, no, go on.
快给他解释
Explain.
我知道怎么回事
I do know the arguments.
但如果你正确地理解它 你会信仰上帝的
No, but if you understood properly, you’d believe.
听着 至少现在在我眼中 这个世界
Look, as far as I can see, the world’s
并不友善 而且很多事情并不公平
a frightening place where things happen that aren’t fair,
最后一切都将失去意义
and there isn’t really any meaning to any of it.
最终 我们会彻底消失
And in the end, we all get wiped out.
我们接受不了这个现实 发明了神和天堂
We can’t bear that, so we invent God
来说服自己 不是所有努力都是徒劳
and heaven to reassure ourselves it’ll all work out in the end.
我不认为这是件坏事
I don’t think that’s a bad thing to do.
我就是觉得那些都是假的
I just happen to think it’s not true.
你错了
You’re wrong.
跟他说 爱德华
Tell him, Edward.
说什么
Tell him what?
神的存在
That God exists.
你不能强迫别人去相信这些
You can’t tell people a thing like.
上帝不是客观事实
God’s not information.
而是精神上的信仰
God’s a conviction.
就像爱
It’s like love.
爱不是靠别人告诉你的
You don’t tell love.
是你切身感受到的
You feel love.
说得对啊
That’s right.
就是这样啊
That’s just how it is.
要咖啡吗
Coffee?
我要一杯
Yes, I’d like that.
一想到你不幸福我就很难过 杰米
I can’t bear to think you’re unhappy, Jamie.
我没有不幸福
I’m not unhappy.
我挺好的
I’m fine.
一切只能靠你自己
No, all on your own?
我很好 妈妈
I’m fine, Mom.
真的挺好
All right.
很好并不代表幸福
Fine isn’t the same as happy.
那什么才算是幸福呢
Well, who’s happy?
挺好的 就够了
Fine’s fine.
不 我们就很幸福 对吧 爱德华
No, we’re happy, aren’t we, Edward?
对啊 我们挺好的
Yes, we’re fine.
我希望你不要介意
I hope you don’t mind,
但我工作压力很大
but I’m under big pressure at work.
我一会还要再忙几个小时
I thought I’d give it a couple of hours
再去睡觉
before I call it a night.
你高兴就好 宝贝
Whatever you want, darling.
我明天早上就不去做弥撒了
I don’t think I’ll make mass tomorrow morning.
我要批改课程作业
I’ve got all the coursework papers to mark.
我想在我还有精力的时候搞定这些
I’d rather get it done while I’m fresh.
我们很幸福 对吧
We are happy, aren’t we?
怎么会不幸福呢
Why wouldn’t we be?
有时候我感觉我们之间没有真正的交流
Sometimes I think we don’t really talk.
什么意思
What do you mean talk?
你知道的 像其他夫妻一样交谈
You know, talk the way people do.
像不像在变魔术
It’s like magic, isn’t it?
看到了吧 我们没有交流
You see, we don’t talk.
什么
What?
一直是我在说话
I say things.
你为什么不说点什么