希望沟壑（2019）

很简单
Well, that’s easy.
我每天都在做
That’s what I do every day.
这个才是最难的部分 建立数据库
The hard part is this, is building the database.
这不是数据库
No, it’s not a database.
这是诗集
It’s an anthology.
你能继续添加内容吗
Can you expand it?
你还想要更多内容吗
You want more?
多得多
Much more.
我还知道很多诗 如果你要的话 非常多
I know more poems if that’s what you mean, hundreds more.
你想为它取什么名字呢
What are you going to call it?
我想叫它”我曾来过”
I’m thinking of calling it “I Have Been Here Before”.
这正是它的主题
That’s rather the point, you see.
有人在你之前经历过这种感觉
Others have been through these things before us.
我不知道为什么 它确实有安抚效果
I don’t know why that should be comforting, but it is.
因为他们坚持下来了吗
Because they survived?
有的人是的
Some did.
有的人没有
Some didn’t.
这是罗塞蒂的一首诗的第一句
It’s the first line of a poem by Rossetti.
你听过吗
Do you know it?
没有
No.
你想不想我念给你听
Do you want me to say it for you?
好啊 我很愿意
Yes, I’d like that.
但丁·加百利·罗塞蒂著
“我曾来过
“I have been here before.
何时 何法 我不能说
When or how, I cannot tell.
我知道门外青草茵茵
I know the grass beyond the door,
气息甜美清新 风声呜咽叹息
the keen sweet smell, the sighing sound,
海岸之上一片光明
the lights around the shore.
你曾属于我
You have been mine before.
旧日几多 不再记得
How long ago, I may not know.
而燕雀展翅而过
But just when at that swallow soar,
你微微侧首 面纱垂落
your neck turn’d so, some veil did fall.
旧时光景涌上心头
I knew it all of yore.
往昔难道本如此
Has this been thus before?
时间飞逝亦如是
And shall not thus time’s eddying flight.
生命短暂 爱意永存
Still with our lives, our loves restore.
人生纵有一死
In death’s despite,
何论昼夜 不如纵情沉沦”
and day and night yield one delight once more?”
爱德华
Edward.
太乏味了吧
It’s so dull.
你来这里干什么 格蕾丝
What are you doing here, Grace?
这真的是你想过的生活吗
Is this really how you want to live?
这是安吉拉的房♥子
This is at Angela’s house.
对 安吉拉
Yes, Angela.
她在哪里
Where is she?
我不想和你吵
I don’t want a row.
格蕾丝 你不要逼我
Grace, I won’t stand for it.
不是
No.
我也不想吵
I don’t want a row either.
我来是给你送东西的
I came to bring you these.
不过你大概也不想要了
But maybe you don’t want them anymore.
原来你一直想过这样的生活
So all along, you wanted to live like this.
你怎么不告诉我呢
Why didn’t you tell me?
你肯定觉得这么多年来
You must feel all those years
和我过的是另一种生活 活在另一个星球
with me were another life, another planet.
我们结过婚 记得吗 在那个星球上
We did have a marriage, didn’t we, on that other planet?
现在你过着不一样的生活
And now you’re living a different life.
你就是安吉拉吧
You must be Angela.
没错
Yes, that’s right.
她自己走进来的
She just walked in.
好
Yes.
我其实都不相信你真的存在
I don’t think I really believed you existed.
请坐
Please sit.
不了
No.
不留了
Not staying.
-你以为你在做什么 -格蕾丝
– What did you think you were doing? – Grace.
谁给你的权利
I mean, what gave you the right.
够了
That’s enough.
没事 爱德华 我为自己说两句
It’s all right, Edward. I can speak for myself.
我认为 不幸福的人之前有三个
I think, I thought there was three unhappy people.
现在只有你一个了
And now there’s only one.
好 我明白了
Yes, I see.
格蕾丝 格蕾丝 我们能不能
Grace, Grace, can’t we…
我们还能做朋友吗
can’t we be friends?
朋友 不了
Friends, uh, no.
我不想
I don’t think so.
我们纠结太久了 对吧
It all went on too long, didn’t it?
我情愿
I wish…
你情愿我们没见过
You wish we’d never met?
不 当然不是
No, of course, not.
可我是这么想的
I do. I do.
我情愿我们没见过面
I wish we’d never met.
我情愿我没爱过你
I’d wish I’d never loved you,
可我们相爱过 而我还
but we did and I do…
我爱过
I did.
现在我要努力放你走
And now I have to try and let you go.
别经常想起我
Don’t think too badly of me.
我已经尽力不去想你了
I try not to think of you at all.
我白天的时候很好
I’m getting quite good at it during the day.
可一到晚上我就梦见你
But at night, I dream about you.
真不公平 对吧
Unfair, isn’t it?
好了 名字就叫”我曾来过”
All right. So it’s called “I’ve Been Here Before”.
“我曾来过”
你不是第一个有此感受的人
输入词语形容你的心情
你现在感觉如何
搜索
在搜索栏里输入内容
You type into the search bar.
什么都行 爱 生活 死亡 随你喜欢
Anything… love, life, death, anything you like.
这里会展示出以往其他人的想法
It turns out someone else thought it long ago.
你不是一个人
You’re not the only one, so,
也许你就可以这样熬过来了
maybe you can make it through after all.
我就想听见这话
That’s what I want to hear.
我该怎么熬过来
How I can make it through after all.
你想要希望 我们就有希望
You want hope, we’ve got hope.
“勿言战斗无用”
“Say Not the Struggle Nought Availeth.”
这是我妈妈最喜欢的诗
It’s my mom’s favorite.
亚瑟·休·克拉夫《勿言战斗无用》
“勿言战斗无用
“Say not the struggle nought availeth.
勿言疲惫与伤口徒然
The labor and the wounds are vain.
敌人不会倒下 不会示弱
The enemy faints not, nor faileth.
万事万物鲜有变迁
And as things have been they remain.
当疲惫的浪潮无谓地袭卷
For while the tired waves, vainly breaking
没有痛苦大概就没有收获
Seem here no painful inch to gain,
远远地穿过溪流与港湾
Far back through creeks and inlets making
前往寂静海洋的潮波
Come silent, flooding in, the main.
倚靠东方的窗沿
And not by eastern windows only,
仅趁日出东方 晨光明亮
when daylight comes, comes in the light.
前方的朝阳攀得缓慢 缓慢
In front, the sun climbs slow, how slowly.
而朝西而望 大地光芒万丈”
But westward look, the land is bright.”
起初我以为我能救你
I began by thinking I could save you,
最后我能做的只能是尊重你
but in the end, all I can do is honor you.
我的母亲 最好的女性
My mother, first among women,
我的温情 我的慰藉
my warmth and my comfort,
我的倚靠 我的骄傲
my safety, my pride,
我愿取悦你
you’re the one I want to please.
我愿获得你的赞美
You’re the one I want to applaud me.
我的父亲 最好的男性
My father, first among men,
我的导师 我的法官
my teacher and my judge,
我知道自己会成为他这样的人
the man I know I will become.
你们如今垂垂老矣
You grow older now.
你们仍将在我身前 一如既往
You’ll still ahead of me as you’ll always be
直到路的终点
forever further down the road.
原谅我期待你们永远坚强