小鬼当家

小鬼当家
我的行李呢？
Where’s my suitcase?
谁偷了吹风机？
Who stole the hair dryer?
哎，小姐
Miss. Young lady!
对不起，小姐们
Excuse me. Girls!
小家伙，嗨
Hey, little fella. Hey!
对不起，小姐们
Excuse me, girls. Girls!
哎，胖子！
Hey, big fella!
帮我整理客厅的床
Help me make the beds in the living room.
下来这里！
Come on down here!
小家伙！
Hey, son!
胖子！小家伙！
Big fella. Hey, little guy! Little guy!
彼得的哥哥和他的全家现在都在这儿
Pete’s brother and his family are here.
翠丝要去蒙特娄度假
Tnsh is going to Montreal.
蒙特娄？噢，她家人在那里
Montreal? Oh, her family’s there.
– 我们也放假了 – 你们什么时候走？
– Then we’re off. – When?
– 明天就走 – 你是不是还没有准备好？
– Tomorrow. – You’re not ready, are you?
法兰克叔叔不让我看电影…
Uncle Frank won’t let me watch the movie…
可是他让大孩子看
…but the big kids can.
为什么我就不能看呢？
Why can’t I?
我正在讲电♥话♥
I’m on the phone.
你们什么时候回来？
When do you come back? Not till then?
这部电影又不是限制级，他真讨厌
It’s not even rated R. He’s just being a jerk.
凯文，要是法兰克叔叔说不能看…
Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no…
那一定是烂片
…then it must be really bad.
不，我们要把狗送去狗舍里…嘿，下去！
No, we put the dog in the kennel… Hey, get off!
凯文，出去！
Kevin, out of the room.
挂了电♥话♥再来赶我出去啊，干嘛不这样？
Hang up the phone and make me, why don’t you?
死孩子
This kid.
你有没有买♥♥电流转换器之类的东西？
Did you pick up a voltage adaptor thing?
没有，我没闲时间买♥♥那个
No, I didn’t have time.
– 那我到法国用什么刮胡子？ – 那就留山羊胡啊
– Then how do I shave in France? – Grow a goatee.
爸，他们什么事都不让我做
Dad, nobody’ll let me do anything.
我找点事给你做，把这里的小东西都收好
I’ve got something, pick up those MicroMachines that are all over.
你莱丝莉婶婶上次就踩到了摔了一跤，脖子差点断掉
Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck
他又玩热熔胶枪了
He was playing with the glue gun again.
我们谈过这个了吧
We talked about that.
我有把房♥子烧掉过吗？没有
Did I burn down the joint? I don’t think so.
我只是用鱼钩做了一个装饰品
I made ornaments out of fish hooks.
– 是用我的新鱼钩做的吧？ – 我又不能用旧鱼钩做
– My new fish hooks? – I can’t make them out of old ones…
有干的蚯蚓肠子粘在上面
…with dry worm guts stuck on them.
– 彼得 – 走吧，凯文，出去吧
– Peter – Come on Kevin Out
彼得，你有电流转换器吗？
Do you guys have a voltage adaptor?
这里有一个
Here’s a voltage adapter!
你越来越重了，快去收拾你的行李吧
God, you’re getting heavy! Go pack your suitcase.
收拾我的行李？
Pack my suitcase?
– 洗发精在哪里？ – 我又不住这里
– Where’s the shampoo? – I don’t live here.
这房♥子里有这么多人住，居然连瓶洗发精都没有
This many people here and no shampoo.
– 你父母在家吗？ – 他们不住在这里
– Are your folks home? – They don’t live here.
– 崔西，是你叫的披萨吗？ – 是巴兹叫的
– Tracy, did you order the pizza? – Buzz did.
对不起，小姐，你的父母在这里吗？
Excuse me Are your parents here?
我父母住在巴黎，对不起
My parents live in Paris.
– 你好！ – 你好！
– Hi! – Hi!
– 你父母在家吗？ – 在啊
– Are your parents home? – Yeah.
– 他们住在这吗？ – 不
– Do they live here? – No.
全是孩子，没有父母
Why should they? All kids, no parents.
这是孤儿院还是什么地方
Probably a fancy orphanage.
我不知道怎么收拾行李，我这一辈子还从来没有收拾过行李呢
I don’t know how to pack a suitcase. I’ve never done it once.
– 厉害啊 – 梅根也是这么说的
– Tough. – That’s what Megan said.
我说什么？
What did I say?
你说他厉害
You told him “Tough.”
这家伙嘀咕了行李嘀咕了半天，我能说什么？
The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to say?
握着他的手说恭喜他吗？恭喜他是白♥痴♥吗？
“Congratulations, you’re an idiot”?
– 我才不是白♥痴♥！ – 噢，是吗？
– I’m not an idiot! – Really?
你根本不会照顾自己！什么事都要别人帮你做
You’re helpless! We have to do everything for you.
– 她说得没错，凯文 – 得了吧，讨厌，人家比你小那么多
– She’s right, Kev. – Excuse me, puke-breath. I’m small.
还不会收拾行李呢
I don’t know how to pack.
– 希望你别放乱七八糟的东西在行李里 – 闭嘴，琳妮
– I hope you didn’t just pack crap. – Shut up, Linnie.
那我应该带什么东西
You know what I should pack?
巴兹叫你多带些卫生纸和水
Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.
你干嘛这么担心？
What are you so worried about?
你知道，不管怎么样，妈会帮你收拾东西的
You know Mom’s gonna pack your stuff, anyway.
你就是法语中说的那种“无能之辈”
You’re what the French call les incompetents.
什么？
What?
投弹啦！躲开！
Bombs away!
看来你得和富勒睡一张沙发床了
P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller.
他睡前只要喝点东西就会尿床
If he has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed.
这房♥子里这么多人，真烦死人了！
This house is so full of people it makes me sick!
等我长大了就结婚，我要自己一个人住！
When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone!
听见没有？
Did you hear me?
我要自己住！
I’m living alone!
我要自己住！
I’m living alone!
谁来喂你的蜘蛛啊？
Who’s gonna feed your spider?
他刚刚吃了很多老鼠内脏，应该能顶几个星期
He just ate a load of mice guts. He’ll be good for a couple weeks.
法国妞是不是真的不刮腋毛？
Is it true French babes don’t shave their pits?
有些妞是不刮
Some don’t.
法国有裸体海滩
But they got nude beaches.
冬季没有
Not in the winter.
你不会敲门啊？浑蛋
Don’t you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?
我在你的房♥里睡觉好吗？我不要和富勒一起睡
Can I sleep here? I don’t want to sleep with Fuller.
他喝点水就尿床
If he drinks, he’ll wet the bed.
就算你长在我的屁♥股♥上，我也不会让你睡在我的房♥间里
I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.
看外面，是老家伙马利
Check it out. Old man Marley.
他是谁？
Who’s he?
听说过南弯雪锹杀手吗？
You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
就是他
That’s him.
在一九五八年，他用铲雪锹把他家人和半数以上的邻居…
In ’58 he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block…
打死了
With a snow shovel
自从那次事件以后，他就一直隐居在这里
Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.
他是杀人犯，警♥察♥干嘛不抓他？
If he’s the shovel slayer, how come the cops don’t arrest him?
证据不足，无法定罪
Not enough evidence to convict.
警♥察♥从没有找到过尸体
They never found the bodies.
可是这里每个人都知道是他干的
Everyone around here knows he did it.
我看他还会杀人
It’ll just be a matter of time…
只不过是迟早的问题
before he does it again
那他现在干嘛？
What’s he doing?
他每天夜里都在街上…
he walks up and down the streets every night…
走来走去
…salting the sidewalks.
他也许是在做好事吧
Maybe he’s just trying to be nice.
不可能
No way.
看那垃圾桶是不是装满了盐？
See that garbage can full of salt?
被杀了的人就放在那里面
That’s where he keeps his victims.
然后盐就把尸体变成了木乃伊
The salt turns the bodies into mummies.
木乃伊
Mummies!
别让他看见！
Look out!
小尼罗披萨二十分钟内送达，不然免费！
小朋友你们好吗？
How you kids doing?
很好吧？
Good?
今天这儿有好多玩的，对不对？
Lot of action around here today, huh?
去度假吗？
Going on vacation?
你们去哪儿？
Where you going?
听到我说的吗？
You hear me, or what?
要去旅行吗？
Going on a trip?
你们去哪啊，孩子？
Where you going, kid?
一共是一百二十二块五
Okay, that’s $122.50.
这不是我叫的，小子，我不住这
Not from me, kid. I don’t live here.
噢，你是来过节的吧？
You just around for the holidays?
算是吧
You could say that.
– 披萨送来了！ – 是的
– Pizza’s here! – There you go.
一共一百二十二块五
That’s $122.50.
这是我弟弟的家，他会给你钱的
It’s my brother’s house. He’ll get it.