一路顺疯：迷幻趣事（2020）

大约五分钟过去了 我心想
And about five minutes pass, I’m like…
“我什么感觉都没有
“Pfft… I don’t feel anything.
这些迷幻蘑菇根本没有用”
These mushrooms don’t work at all.”
好了
Well…
我是保罗·舍尔 在阿姆斯特丹
I’m Paul Scheer, in Amsterdam,
我想这些迷幻蘑菇还没有生效
and I guess these mushrooms aren’t kicking in.
于是我又吃了一些 后来又吃了一些
And so I just eat more of them, and then more of them.
我可以开始享受艺术了
I guess I’ll just enjoy the art.
我是保罗·舍尔 在阿姆斯特丹
I’m Paul Scheer in Amsterdam.
我看着其中的一副油画
I look up at one of the paintings,
《麦田群鸦》
which is the crows over the cornfield,
不知何故 这幅画吸引了我
and it really, like, grabs me, for some reason.
“哇 这可真有趣看呐
“Wow, this is really interesting. Oh, look at that!
我能从下面看到乌鸦”
I can see under the crows!”
我慢慢转…
I start to turn…
因为我相信只要我倒过身子来
Because I’m convincing myself that if I turn,
我就能看到油画中不存在的那一部分
I’m seeing parts of the painting that don’t really exist.
天呐
Holy shit!
看看这些玉米
Look at all this corn!
突然 我感觉那些鸟向我飞来
All of a sudden, I feel like these birds are coming out at me,
而我在玉米地中间
and I’m in the middle of this cornfield.
搞什么鬼？
What the fuck
这个博物馆很有人气
Now, this is a popular museum.
很多人带着家人来参观
Family, people are all there…
我离开油画大概十公分远
and I’m standing maybe four inches away from the painting,
几乎头下脚上
almost upside down.
我说：“对…”
Like this, like, “Yes, yes, yes…”
它在变形 在移♥动♥我说 “梵高 真是个天才”
And it’s morphing and moving, I’m like, “Van Gogh, genius!”
我理解梵高
I get Van Gogh!
我理解梵高
I get Van Gogh!
现在我觉得太热了 我说 “这里很热 我在冒汗
Now I’m feeling a little bit too hot, I’m like, “It’s hot in here, I’m sweating,
我得离开博物馆”
I gotta leave this museum.”
于是我回到我们住的房♥子
I arrive back at the house that we’re staying.
我对他们说：“听着
And I go, “Guys…
我们得去买♥♥麦当劳”
we need to get McDonald’s.”
所有人都同意了
And everyone’s like, “Yes!”
我想我的计划基于一个事实 我们身在外国
I think my plan stemmed from the fact that we were in a foreign country,
我们得找些美国的东西让自己踏实点
and we needed to ground ourselves with something American.
所以麦当劳是我们的选择
So McDonald’s was the way to go.
于是我去了麦当劳
And I go into McDonalds,
他们给了我满满一袋子汉堡
they fill up a sack of burgers for me,
我带回到我们住的地方
I take it back to our house,
我把汉堡扔给每个人
and I toss them out to everybody,
每个人开始吃汉堡
everyone starts eating the burgers,
就像《爱丽丝漫游仙境》里面 爱丽丝吃药片一样
and just like in Alice in Wonderland when she eats the pill,
我们把汉堡吃完了
we all finish our burgers,
我们的药效也过了
and it just wears off,
我们又回到了正常
we’re back to normal.
我说：“谢谢麦当劳你救了我们”
And I was like, “Thank you, McDonald’s. You saved us.”
我从没有在麦当劳有过体验 因为我不是傻♥逼♥
Never had experience in McDonald’s, because I’m not a fucking idiot.
如果有什么东西能抵消迷幻体验
If there’s anything antithetical
那就得是麦当劳了
to a trip on LSD, it’s a McDonald’s.
这就跟阴阳关系一样
Talk about yin and fuck-yang.
你走进去 你意识到
You walk in there, and you realize,
“我在一个该死的怪兽肚子里面
“I’m in the belly of the fucking beast.
我有灵魂 我处在一个没有灵魂的牢笼里”
I have a soul, and I’m in a soulless cage.”
（罗布·科德利）
（一切都是有联♥系♥的）
嗨 我叫罗布·科德利
Hi, I’m Rob Corddry.
一个迷幻宇宙探索者
A psychonaut.
电影演员协会成员
Screen Actors Guild.
有一次我们服用了迷幻蘑菇
Once we were on mushrooms,
我坐在镜子前
and I sat in front of the mirror,
迷幻得一塌糊涂
tripping my balls off,
嗨极了
high as a kite,
我看着镜子里的自己
just, like, staring at myself in the mirror.
我把衬衫脱了下来
I had my shirt off,
这种行为通常让我感到不适
which is usually something that bugs me,
而在这个时候 你没有什么身体畸形
but at this point, like, you don’t have any body dysmorphia.
你看到的就是事物的本质
You see things for the way they really are.
无论它们有多么闪光和透气
No matter how much they sort of, like, shimmer and breathe.
你的身体反正也在呼吸
Your body’s breathing anyway.
我看着我的身体 我的脸
And I’m, like, looking at it, my body, and my face,
看着它们的本质
for what it really, truly is.
我的脸看起来完全不一样了
It… You know, my face looked completely different.
我认为我的身体是个贝壳
My body, I understood it was a shell,
我感到镜子外的我的内在
And I felt inside me, the real me, not in the mirror,
我感到比我的身体更大 更宽
I felt bigger than my body, and I felt wider.
我觉得 “原来如此”
And I felt, like, “This is it.”
我想：“我们是万事万物的一部分 万事万物皆有关联”
Like, “We’re part of everything, everything is connected.”
然后我看着镜子
And then I’d look in the mirror,
我能看到
and I’d be like… I could see, it seemed, like…
整个世界就是我
the whole world was me.
我能看到一切 一切都连接着
I could see everything, everything was connected.
一切都很好
All good.
人们总说 当你嗨的时候不要照镜子
People always say don’t look in the mirror when you’re high,
但我要说：“不要离开镜子”
but I’m like, “Don’t ever leave a mirror!”
（越多迷幻旅程）
（不要照镜子）
不要照镜子
Do look in the mirror!
我记得照镜子
I remember looking in the mirror.
我的脸变成了石像鬼
My face turned into a gargoyle.
那玩意儿很迷幻 我心想：“哦 糟糕 ”
That shit was trippy. I was like, “Oh, shit.”
我在城市里长大
Growing up in an urban community,
类似于贫民窟之类的
like the hood or some shit like that,
我们对迷幻药的看法
we look at acid, like,
“这东西和可♥卡♥因♥差不多 像PCP 天使的灰尘、冰♥毒♥或类似的东西
“Man, that’s like crack, or like PCP, angel dust, meth or some shit like that.
你干嘛要吃迷幻药？”
The fuck you do with acid”
然后你慢慢长大了
And then as you get older, you know,
你开始接触迷幻蘑菇之类的东西 你意识到
you start doing mushrooms and shit like that, and you realize that
所有这些东西 类似于真菌和霉菌
all it is is, like, fungus and mold, and, you know,
这些东西很酷
this is just, like, some chill shit.
（速可达硬汉）
（爱彼此）
我记得我第一次服用迷幻剂
I remember the first time I did acid. It was a couple
是数年前
of years back.
我觉得我准备好了
I felt I was ready,
准备好和地球融为一体
ready to become one with the planet,
和宇宙融为一体
the universe.
当时很疯狂 我是和一个美女一起做的
It was crazy. It was with a beautiful female.
是她向我介绍的
She’s the one who introduced me to it.
我记得她把东西放在饼干上
All I remember is she had it on, like, crackers already.
不幸地是 当我和她在一起的时候
Unfortunately, by the time I got with her
正巧迷幻剂发生了作用
is exactly when the acid just started kicking in.
我们变得很嗨
And, you know, we gettin’ jiggy and whatnot, right
感觉太好了
It feels so good.
仿佛一切感觉都强化了
Like, it’s… Everything feels intensified.
我能看到各种东西
I’m seeing all type of shit.
我能感觉到各种东西
I’m feeling all type of shit.
各种颜色在移♥动♥ 我能听到颜色
Colors are moving. I hear colors.
我能尝到颜色的味道
I can taste the colors.
颜色是什么味道？
Like, what the fuck does a color taste like, you know
不知何故
And for some reason,
她对我所做的任何事情
everything she did to me just felt…
感觉都棒极了
amazing.
感觉翻倍
Like, times two.
不同凡响
Out of the ordinary.
画面有点儿童不宜了
And, uh… This is a bit graphic,
这有点庸俗 有点粗鲁知道吗？
it’s a bit vulgar, it’s a bit raunchy, you feel me
你知道我意思 但是…
You feel me, but…
我能说什么呢？这是生命
What can I say It’s life.
没有谎言
No lie…
彩虹从我的鸡♥巴♥里放射出来
A rainbow shot out of my dick.