猪头逛大街2（2008）

-哥们 我们应该离开这儿 -上帝啊 知道了 哥们 放松
– dude, we’ve got to get out of here! – jeez, all right, dude, relax.
好了 大家集♥合♥到这里来 坐在营火周围
All right, y’all! come on over here and we’ll sit around the campfire.
-靠 我们怎么办 -赶紧坐过去
– shit, what do we do? – let’s go sit down.
鲁弗斯 拿着果酱软糖
Rufus. next to them marshmallows…
-还有全麦饼干 -大家都坐下来
– and the graham crackers. – everybody sit down.
吃过了最棒的巧克力夹心棒
Best s’mores we’ve had in a long time…
我们聊过了 我们聊过了
That’s what I’m talking about, that’s what I’m talking about.
现在 我希望你们每个人来聊聊…
Now. now I want each one of y’all to tell me…
那些个…走廊猴子(白人辱骂黑人的用词) 犹太人
Somethin’… porch monkey, kike!
你们这礼拜对那些人做了什么
…that you did to a minority this week. yeah.
有一天我在沃尔玛
I tripped a beaner while I was walking down the stairs…
绊倒了一个小子
At the wal-mart the other day.
那家伙撞翻好多葡萄酒
Guy crashed into a bunch of wine bottles.
他们让他赔了钱 耶!
They made him pay for ’em! yeah!
很好 很好 大家静一静
All right, all right, let’s all calm down.
白人力量在此 白人力量在此
White power here, white power here, white power here.
让他尝尝厉害
Giving him what he deserves.
青春女神啊!
Hebe!
好了 我没事了 继续
All right, I’m back. next.
最好漂亮点 开始
It better be good. here.
说啊 哥们 说说看
Come on, dude, say something.
知道吗
You know what?
我用膝盖顶了一个印度阿三的蛋蛋
I did knee an indian guy in the balls.
真有趣
That’s funny!
把印度阿三赶回非洲
Yeah, send them indians back to africa.
想听听我♥干♥了什么最带劲最劲爆的事情吗
Well, you want to hear something real fucked-up and awesome that I did?
我拿一个韩国人的牙刷刷遍了我的鸡鸡
I took a korean guy’s toothbrush and I rubbed it all over my dick.
-你那么干了? -那可真是恶心透了
– you did that? – well, that’s just downright disgustin’.
不过我喜欢
but I like it!
我喜欢做白人
Yeah, I love bein’ white.
-这是… -看看我们这里混进来了什么 兄弟们
– what the… – look what we got us here, brothers.
墨西哥人
Mexicans!
抓住他们!
Lynch ’em!
快点 快点 快跑
Come on, come on! come on!
来吧 孩子们 把他们赶出边境!
Come on, boys, let’s chase them back to the border!
操♥他♥妈♥!
Pussy fart!
我靠!
Holy shit!
我们要不要扑灭它还是怎么着?
Should we put it out or what?
他们还在后头吗
Are they still behind us?
好像没有 哥们 三K党跑得真♥他♥妈♥慢
I don’t think so. dude, the klan is fucking slow.
拦下那辆车
Hey, flag down this car.
停车 停车 停车
Help! help! help!
-谢谢 -谢谢
– thank you. – thank you.
谢谢你停车了
Thanks for stopping.
你最好搞清楚
you better check yo self
没事
No problem.
因为这对你可不好 我是真的不简单
cause I’m bad for your health, I come real stealth
尼尔?
Neil?
加里·考玛尔
Gary and kumar!
-是李 -李
Harold. harold.
抱歉 伙计 我忘了
Sorry, man. I forgot.
你在这儿干吗呢 伙计
What are you doing here, man?
上帝指引我来此 你们俩在这做什么
This is where god took me. what are you guys doing out here?
我们其实是想去德克萨斯
We’re actually trying to get to texas.
我也去那!
That’s where I’m headed!
真是奇怪啊
What are the odds?
我们出发吧
Let’s get out of here.
-好咧 -谢谢
– all right. – thank you.
来点死亡蘑菇?
Shrooms?
-不了 谢谢 -不 谢了
– no. thanks, though. – no, thank you.
你自便
Suit yourself.
先生们 发动引擎
Gentlemen, start your engines.
这一路他妈有的颠了
It’s gonna be a bumpy fuckin’ ride.
因为子弹对你健康有害
cause shotgun bullets are bad for your health.
找到他们的电♥话♥了
We found their phone.
李和考玛尔跟你们通过电♥话♥
Lee and patel made a phone call to you.
现在详细告诉我他们的恐怖行动计划
Now tell us everything you know about their terrorist plot.
恐怖行动? 李和考玛尔?
Terrorist plot? rold and kumar?
太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
很好 很好
Ok, fine. fine.
洛斯伯格先生
Mr. rosenberg.
金斯坦先生
Mr. gold-stein.
用你们的方法
We’ll do it your way.
这是什么 这里面是什么
What’s this? what do we have here?
就7美元的事?
It’s about seven dollars?
听着 别侮辱我们了 行不行
Look, don’t insult us, all right?
我不知道这到底是怎么回事…
I don’t know what the hell is going on here…
但我要求各位参照宪法第五修正案 直到我见过我的律师
But I’m pleading the fifth until I speak to my lawyer.
要求参照宪法第五修正案?
You’re pleading the fifth, huh?
比彻 去拿份人♥权♥宣言过来
Beecher, give me a copy of the bill of rights.
人♥权♥宣言? 干吗
The bill of rights? why?
照我说的做!
Just do it!
失陪
Excuse me.
第五修正案 是不是?
Five, right?
-第五修正案 -当然
– five alive. – sure.
好 很好
Ok. ok. good.
想知道我怎么看第五修正案吗
You wanna know what I think about the fifth amendment?
就是这样
There it is.
这就是我怎么看第五修正案的
That’s what I think of the fifth amendment.
你的屁屁怎么这么脏? 从来不擦的吗
Why the hell is your ass so dirty? don’t you wipe?
不要问你不想知道答案的问题 朋友
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, buddy.
有什么情况?
What do ya got?
联邦调查局已经窃听了金斯顿先生的电♥话♥
Turns out the fbi was already tapping mr. goldstein’s phone.
-得到了我们需要的情报 -等等
– we got what we need. – wait a second.
你们窃听了我的电♥话♥?
You were tapping my phone?
想听听磁带吗
You want to hear the tape?
不了 我听够了这个农民的脏话 结果是什么
No. I’m sick of listening to this dirt farmer. what’s the upshot?
我们说话这会儿 李和考玛尔正去往德克萨斯
Lee and patel are on their way to texas as we speak.
早知道他们要去那了
I knew they’d trip up.
准备好飞机 这两个混♥蛋♥玩完了
Ready the plane. these fuckers are goin’ down.
尼尔 能不能注意点? 你已经…拜托注意路况
Neil, can you just focus on driving? you’ve had… focus on the road.
你吃了好多死亡蘑菇 朋友
You’ve had dozens of shrooms, my friend.
哥们 我14岁就能做阑尾切除术
Dude, I was able to perform an appendectomy at age 14.
这点蘑菇不算什么
I think I can handle a couple mushrooms.
-那是不是一个电视秀? -上帝啊!
– wasn’t that just a tv show? – jesus christ!
有没有看到那个独角兽?
Did you see that unicorn?
它的犄角好闪
Its horn was so shiny.
你们俩干吗要去德克萨斯?
So, why are you guys headed to texas?
主要是我前女友要结婚了
Let’s just say my ex-girlfriend’s getting married.
那个离开你的人 是不是?
The one that got away, huh?
没错
Yep.
听起来你想来一杯
Sounds to me like you need a drink.
看着路 尼尔 拜托 你能不能注意点…
Road. neil, please, can you pay attention…
哥们 我知道
Dude, I’ve got it!
-是 不过… -他开车是个好手 别说了
– yeah, but… – he’s a good driver. stop.
谢了 伙计 干杯 哥们
Thanks, man. cheers, dude.
真的? 喝酒行吗你?
Really? drinking?
我也曾经痛失我爱
I have a lost-iove story of my own.
是吗
Yeah?
在放<克莱拉的心>系列的时候
Happened on the set of clara’s heart.
没错没错 是的
Sure, sure, yeah.
我永远也忘不了她 她叫塔珊达
I’ll never forget her. her name was tashonda.
她是乌比·戈德堡的替身
She was whoopi goldberg’s stand-in.
她的皮肤那么柔软 她的嘴唇如此甜蜜
Her skin was so soft, her lips were so sweet.
她小小的乳♥头♥好像好时巧克力…
She had these tiny, little hershey kiss nipples…
那个你想吸一晚上
That you just wanted to suck on all night long.
其实 昨天射了之后我告诉她
Anyway, last day of shooting, I told her.
我告诉她…
I said…
“宝贝儿 我们分手吧”
“t-bird, we’re gonna have to break up.”
为什么这么做?
Why did you do that?