猪头逛大街2（2008）

你明白了没?
Do you get it?
-我能说… -再说以次 这是…我不能
– can I say… – again. this is… I can’t.
伙计 说实话…
Dude, honestly…
你对这些事有点积极过头了 不是吗
You’ve got to be a little more positive about these things, all right?
-是吗 -对什么积极? 我没有…
– yeah? – positive about what? I don’t…
你先看看这阿♥拉♥巴马的美丽风光 行吗
First of all, look at this beautiful alabama landscape, ok?
在新泽西你可看不到这样的风景
You don’t get shit like this in new jersey.
天啊 你
God, you…
伙计 你看
Hey, look, dude.
是头小鹿
It’s a baby deer.
该死
shit.
伙计 你看这小鹿多可爱
Look how cute this deer is, dude.
不像新泽西那些丑八怪
not like those asshole deer in new jersey.
我知道
I know, man.
-伙计 -阿♥拉♥巴马真不错
– hey, buddy. – dude, alabama’s awesome.
他喜欢你
He likes you.
-天啊 -不
– oh, my god! – no!
抱歉 是在我的狩猎区
Sorry about that. I was in my zone.
你们盛装在这里做什么
What the hell are y’all doing out here in them fancy clothes?
我们要去德克萨斯可是迷路了
We were on our way to texas and we got lost.
德克萨斯?
Texas?
你们离德克萨斯可远呢
You’re a long way from texas.
不会吧!
No!
出生于04年
Born in ’04.
进去吧
Get in here.
是啊 太阳快下山了
Yeah. the sun’s about to go down.
-你们需要地方住吧? 饿了没? -是啊 当然
– y’all need a place to stay? ya hungry? – yeah, sure.
愿意跟我走吗
You want to follow me?
来吧
Come on.
我们也许不该去
Maybe we shouldn’t.
鹿已经死了 你需要帮助 是吧
It’s already dead. you need a hand, dude?
我祖父1902年买♥♥的这块地
My grandpappy bought this land in 1902.
先生 很不错啊
Very nice, sir.
这个地方真不错
This place is gonna suck.
亲爱的 我回来啦
Honey, I’m home.
我在这里
I’m in here.
你怎么没跟我说你带客人回来
I wish you’d-a told me you was bringing guests home.
我也好整理一下
I’da straightened up in here.
伙计们 这是我妻子蕾琳
Fellas, this is my wife raylene.
蕾琳 这是李和考玛尔
Raylene, meet harold and kumar.
你们好
Hello.
不能和你握手了了 鹿血溅了我一身
Can’t shake. I’ve just got… deer head all over me.
-见到你很高兴 -很高兴见到你们
– nice to meet you. – nice to meet you boys.
-请随意 -谢谢
– you just make yourselves at home. – thank you.
亲爱的 那个数字用户线出故障了
Honey, something’s wrong with that dsl.
我每次上网 都显示”寻找服务器”
Every time I go on the online, it says, “searching for server.”
你拔掉无线基站试了没?
You try unplugging the airport base?
我试了但没用
Yeah, I done did that but it didn’t work.
话说回来 你上网做什么呢
What you need to go online fors, anyways?
我想给他们中一人弄个便携式卫星接收机
I was gonna get one of them new portable satellite radios.
你弄个卫星接收机做什么
What the fuck you need a satellite radio for?
别这么粗鲁 我们有客人呢
Don’t you be cussin’ when we got company over.
-伙计们 -不用管我们
– guys. – please don’t worry about us.
我们随时都会说脏话呢
We cuss all the time.
你以为是谁打的我?
Who do you think you is, hitting me?
你以为谁给你买♥♥的普拉达包包?
Who do you think bought you that prada bag?
我跟你说了我想要古奇的
I told you I wanted a gucci one.
古奇的更贵!
The gucci bag cost more!
简的老公就买♥♥的起!
Well, jan sapperstein’s husband sure could afford it.
又说到简了
Here we go again with jan sapperstein.
那个贱♥人♥买♥♥了什么我才不关心
I don’t give a rat’s ass what that bitch got.
你该满足于你的现状
You be happy with what you have.
我所拥有的就是个一文不值的老公!
What I have is a husband who ain’t worth a turd!
你现在想揍我咯?
You wanna give me shit now?
-是的 -在给你买♥♥了一切之后
– that’s right! – after everything I let you buy!
看看账单
Even look at the credit card bills?
你买♥♥的?! 你觉得我们还需要一套高尔夫球?
…you buy?! do you think we need another set of golf balls?
-更惨的是信♥用♥卡♥还不知道在哪儿呢 -臭婊♥子♥ 死贱♥人♥…
– even worse is the credit card miles. – stinky, smelly, motherf…
伙计们 我们得走了
Guys, we’re just gonna get out of here.
别这样 别傻了 你们是我们的客人
Nonsense. don’t be silly. you’re our guests.
你们得留下来吃晚饭
You guys have got to stay for supper.
-不了 我们… -不了 谢谢你 我们真的…
– no, we couldn’t. that’s… – no, thank you. we really couldn’t…
当然要 我们可以先爽一把
Of course, we’re gonna have to get high first.
就在附近
We’re close.
这对我来说很新鲜 农民竟然也抽大♥麻♥
This is news to me. I never knew farmers smoked weed.
你试过种地不来这个吗 无聊到死
You ever tried farmin’ not high? it’s borin’ as shit.
这样真不错 伙计们
You know, this is great, guys.
我以前总是觉得南方人…
I kind of always, you know, sort of assumed…
多少有点…
That people from the south were kinda…
一群笨嘴拙舌的乡下人?
A bunch of dumb rednecks?
-不是 -不不不 不是那个意思…
– no. – no, no, no, no, no, no, no. that’s not…
有人来的时候 我们确实想把近亲杂交的小孩藏进地下室
We do try to keep our inbred son in the basement when we have company.
伙计们 我不是指那个 我只是…
Guys, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just…
瞧他们!
Look at their faces!
妈的 妈的
Fuck, fuck!
靠 他们找到我们了 被发现了 被发现了
Shit, they found us. they found us. they found us.
-你什么意思 什么他们找到你们了? -是这样 抱歉 对不起
– what do you mean, they found you? – listen, I’m so sorry. I am so sorry.
你们是不是惹什么麻烦了?
Are you boys in some kind of trouble?
好吧 听起来是挺夸张的 不过基本上呢…
All right. this is gonna sound crazy, but, basically…
我们本来是在飞往阿姆斯特丹的飞机上…
We were on a plane to amsterdam…
被误认为恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 结果被送到关塔那摩监狱…
And we got mistaken for terrorists and we got sent to guantanamo bay…
然后我们逃了出来 跟一群古巴人潜到了美国境内
And then we escaped and snuck into america with a bunch of cubans…
接着我们试图赶到德克萨斯
And now we’re trying to get to texas…
那里有个朋友能帮我们脱困
Where there’s a guy who can help us out…
他正要跟考玛尔的前女友举♥行♥婚礼
And he’s getting married to kumar’s ex-girlfriend.
没错
Yes.
好吧 挺酷的
Ok. that’s cool.
-我理解 -真的?
– I understand that. – you do?
就跟政♥府♥从来也不把我们当回事一样 这样吧
Like the government’s never screwed us over before. you know what?
你们下去 躲进地下室 剩下的我来搞定
Y’all come down here and hide in the basement. I will handle this.
谢谢你 谢谢你 谢谢你们两位
Thank you. thank you. thank you, both.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
这里真奇怪啊
Ok. this isn’t creepy.
那是什么玩意儿?
What the hell is that?
你想靠近那个怪怪的音乐?
You’re walking towards the creepy music?
这歌♥挺酷 哥们
This song rocks, dude.
考玛尔
Kumar.
哥们 这是个带小丑图案的打火机
Hey, dude, there’s a lighter here with a clown on it.
耶稣基♥督♥ 这里他妈的有个怪物!
Jesus christ, there’s a fucking monster!
上帝啊
God!
你身上带着贝贝巧克力棒吗
Hey, you don’t happen to have a baby ruth on you, do you?
没有 干嘛要巧克力棒?
No. why do you need a baby ruth?
<七宝奇谋>里面的矮人就用这个战胜了树懒怪
That’s how chunk won over sloth in the goonies.
那玩意长得像树懒?
This thing looks like sloth?
我只看到那怪物的手
All I saw was the creature’s hand.
那手看着像树懒?
The hand looks like sloth?
一看就是邪恶妖怪的鬼手 哥们 像个爪子
The fucking hand of an evil monster, dude. like fucking claws and shit.
妈的
Shit.
听着 不管怎么样 不要让那东西知道它很丑 好吗
Listen, no matter what, don’t let the creature know that it’s ugly, ok?
我们绝对不可以批评它或者让它觉得
The last thing that we want to do is criticize it or make it feel
它与众不同…
different…
它只是生来就是可怕的畸形
Just because it was born with horrible deformities.
别怕 我来处理 只是我们的邻居
Don’t worry. I got rid of ’em. it was just my neighbors.
-那儿有个奇怪的独眼怪人… -不 在你的…
– there’s a freacking cyclops… – no, you got…
地下室 老天 一个怪物 哥们
…in your basement, man! …a fucking thing, dude!
你们见到塞勒斯了
You met cyrus.
-赛勒斯 -你还给它起名字?
– cyrus. – you named it?
我们的儿子
Our son.
你们一定是吵醒他了 他应该在睡觉的 对不起
You must have woke him up. he was supposed to be asleep. I’m sorry.
我以为你们只是开玩笑的…
I thought you were joking…