猪头逛大街2（2008）

你的老二真懦弱
your shit look like you 14.
我的老二如困笼之兽
my dick locked in a cage, right.
你的老二临阵退缩
your dick suffer from stage fright.
我的老二受欢迎
my dick so hot it’s stolen.
你的老二像加里·科尔曼
your dick look like gary coleman.
我的老二粉嘟嘟，胖墩墩
my dick pink and big.
-这辆车真是他妈的赞 -是啊 是啊 太爽了
– this car is frickin’ sweet. – yeah, yeah, it’s sweet.
我们是开着
Cause we’re fugitives.
黄色敞篷跑车的逃亡者 穿得跟个傻子似的
Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!
看那 他这里还有这东西
Yo. yo. yo, look, he has one of these things.
-放下它吧 -不 这东西还能上网呢
– would you put that down? – no, you can hook up to the internet.
你还可以听泰森的拳击赛和河马王的沉沦呢
You can play mike tyson’s punch-out on it. king hippo’s going down.
拿开它 拿开
Put that away. put that away.
我真不敢想象 在现在这个时候 你竟然还想着玩游戏
I can’t believe you can even think about playing games at a time like this,
老兄
man.
你知道如果我父母得知我现在的情况他们会怎样吗
You realize what would happen if our parents found out about this?
你把我们的儿子关在关塔那摩监狱?
You have sent our sons to guantanamo bay?
这简直就是暴行!
This is an outrage!
你们阿♥拉♥伯人以为可以在我们的和平社会里胡作非为
You arabs think you can just mix in with our peaceful society…
然后逍遥法外 对吗
And we’re not gonna find you, huh?
我不是阿♥拉♥伯人 我是印度人
I am not arab! I am indian!
听着 酋长 我不是在这里和你讨论族内事宜
Look, chief. I’m not here to argue seblantics with you, ok?
我来这里是要救人的
I’m here to save lives.
问问李家的人 看看他们知不知道他们儿子从事的恐怖活动
Ask the lees what they know about their son’s terrorist activity.
听着 我们已经做了40年的美国公民了
Look, we have been american citizens for over 40 years.
老实说 这实在是非常的无礼
Now, frankly, I find this very offensive.
他们说的土语我从来没有听过
They’re using some sort of dialect I’ve never heard before.
但是我肯定他说了什么些很无礼的话
But I’m pretty sure he said something about going on the offensive.
告诉他们 我们知道他儿子在做什么样的勾当…
Tell them we know what their son is up to…
如果他们不和我们合作 就会被判死刑
And if they don’t cooperate, he could be sentenced to death.
吓吓他们
Hit ’em. yeah.
我们知道他说了什么
We know what he said!
长官 劳乐迪和考玛尔都是好人
Sir, harold and kumar are good boys.
我是个很好的翻译
I’m a pretty good translator.
他们说的都是疯言疯语
It’s total gibberish.
他们或许是想拖延我们的时间
They may be trying to stonewall us.
你确定你说的是韩语吗 杰克
Are you sure you speak korean, jack?
你会说韩语?
You speak korean?
你不是在这里糊弄我吧
You’re not fucking with daddy, are you?
你有韩国浪漫主义文学硕士学位吗
Do you have a masters in romantic korean literature?
因为我有…
Because I do…
现在我觉得被触怒了
And I’m offended.
好的
Good enough for me.
不好意思 打断一下
Look, excuse me…
我们并不希望伤害你们的儿子…
We’re not looking to hurt your sons…
我们只想知道他们现在在哪里
We just wanna know where they are.
你们知道他们在佛罗里达有什么朋友吗
Do you know if they know anybody in florida?
他们有个叫拉泽的朋友住在迈阿密
Their friend raza syed lives in miami.
但是他们为什么要去那里?
But why would they be there?
他现在应该在医学院学习的
He’s supposed to be in medical school.
他们应该还待在监狱里面 那个属于恐♥怖♥分♥子♥的地方
They are supposed to be in prison! that is where terrorists belong!
那些王八蛋要倒大霉了
These fuckers are goin’ down.
要死还是活
Dead. or alive.
用你那些不知所谓的韩语告诉他们
Tell them that in your fake ching-chong language.
闭嘴 你这个大傻冒
Shut up! you’re an idiot.
老兄 我根本不知道你在说什么
I don’t know what you’re saying, buddy…
但是 操你
But fuck you.
-操♥我♥? -难道你能让他这样对你说话?
– fuck me? – will you let him talk to you like that?
-听着 不 坐下 -操♥我♥?
– listen, no, sit down. – fuck me?
听着 伙计 我们在阿♥拉♥巴马州
Hey, look, man, we’re in alabama.
我们可以看一看真正的南方风光了
Wow, we actually get a first-hand look at the south, huh?
这不是南部之旅 知道吗
Hey, this wasn’t supposed to be a trip through the south, ok?
这本应是我人生中最浪漫的时间
This was supposed to be the most romantic week of my life.
还记得吗 在你搞砸之前 你还记得吗
Remember that? before you fucked it up? you remember that?
冷静 我们会没事的
Just chill, ok? we’ll be out of this situation.
我们快要到玛丽亚的家了 是吧
You’ll be up in maria’s guts in no time, all right?
她不是什么别人 大哥
Hey. she’s not some skank, man.
我从来没有对别人产生过这种感觉 真的
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, really.
我到底怎么了 我为什么会跟你说这个?
What the fuck? why am I talking to you about this?
无所谓了 反正你又不明白…
It’s not like you would understand, so…
我要变得快乐
I want to be happy.
我要变得快乐 就好像…
I want to be happy, just like…
打扰了 你可以把音响关掉吗 这里可是图书馆
Excuse me, please. will you turn that off? this is a library.
真♥他♥妈♥的一个白♥痴♥
What a fucking chode.
谢谢了 再来一次吧
Thank you, come again!
-真♥他♥妈♥的 -我的天啊
– what the fuck?! – oh, my god.
你知道吗 人们来图书馆的原因就是为了寻找…
You know, the whole reason people come to the stacks…
一个安静而又平和的地方
Is for some peace and…
读书
Quiet.
我知道 真不好意思 我也讨厌人们在这里吵吵闹闹的
Look, I know, I’m sorry. I hate it when people disturb me here too.
那是因为微积分的期末考真是折腾死我了
It’s just this fucking calculus final is killing me.
-你介意让我看一下吗 -不介意
– do you mind if I take a look? – no.
-实际上 你快算出来了 要我帮你吗 -好的
– you’re actually very close. may i? – yeah.
麻烦拿开一下
Excuse me.
我不小心碰了你的胸部
I touched your breast.
-没关系 -对不起
– it’s ok. – sorry.
你只要这样算…
You just go…
你数学真好
Wow. you’re good at this.
谢谢
Thanks.
你在高中的时候是主修微积分的吗
What did you, like, take calculus in high school or something?
事实上 我爸爸在我六年级的时候就教我了
Actually, my dad taught it to me in sixth grade.
难道你是天才医生?
What, are you like doogie howser?
不是啦 如果是真的话就太好了 他是我的偶像
No. although that would be incredible. he’s my hero.
我很喜欢那个节目
I love that show.
你忙什么呢
What are you working on there?
这是我写作课要求写的一首诗
This is just a poem for my creative writing class.
就像…
It’s like…
-“3的平方根”? -不 不 实在抱歉…
– “the square root of three”? – no, no, I’m sorry…
-“考玛尔的爱情诗” -还给我吧
– “a poem of love by kumar patel.” – I need this.
-让我看看吧 -不 不
– hey, let me read it. – no, no.
-为什么呢 -因为写得太烂了
– why? – because it’s lame.
那么你念给我听好了
Then read it to me.
我不会让你看的
There’s no way I’m letting you see me in that light.
希望你的微积分考试能考好吧
good luck with your calculus.
来啊 别害羞啊
Come on, don’t be embarrassed. you know,
很多女孩子都觉得聪明的男生很性感
a lot of girls find intelligence sexy.
听着 我还不打算让教授看呢
Look, I’m not even gonna be showing this to my professor, all right?
这就是我为什么那么紧张的原因
That’s why I’m so stressed out right now.
紧张 是吗
Stressed out, huh?
跟我来
Come with me.
-到哪儿去? -走啦
…going? – come on.
干吗?
What?
你在图书馆吸毒? 万一被人发现怎么办?
You’re smoking drugs in the library? what if somebody catches us?
别担心 这可以让你放松
Don’t worry. it’ll help you relax.
这是犯法的
It’s illegal.
我希望你的鱼游在我身边
I want your fish right by me.
这应是上天注定
that’s how it has to be.
给你
Here.
如果这么做的话就太好了
… copacetic if you let it so set up.
让河流随其自然
and keep the downstream down and the upstream up.
这是毒品
This is poison.
我的宝贝 亲爱的
my stoney, my baby.
让我帮你吧
Let me help you.
去他的惯例和口哨
funk the groovin’ thang whistlin’.
我唱我的调
as I rip my rhymes.
日复一日于夏日里起舞
time and time again struttin’ and in the summertime.
管他♥娘♥的♥ 脱掉衣服 一起来吧
so screw it, strip down and be generic.
脱掉 脱掉 我们是路人 我们是信使
strip down and be a passenger strip down and be a messenger.
为了知道我为何降生 冬日里我赤♥裸♥而来
in askin’ why I’m born I come up blank in the winter.
为了知道我为何降生 我于她一见倾情
in askin’ why I’m born I come up on when I’m on her.